Wardrobe pics for boobless days
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Cathi - Wow. Again, Cathi, you are simply stunning!! Those suits are wonderful. I cannot wait for fall fashion (fall fashion, not fall); my favorite season for clothing.
Linda - you sound absolutely adorable with your petitle figure, short hair and dangling earrings. About the bras/forms: I'm with Cathi, give yourself time to heal. I did get my mastectomy bra and forms right away, but at the time, I had had only the unilateral mast., so I ended up wearing the form in a regular bra. Now that I've had a prophylactic mast., I wear a mastectomy bra with forms to work and actually find the bras and forms quite comfortable. Lately, I haven't been wearing my forms shopping, to friends and families home, etc. Just easier, I guess. Maybe you'll get the bras and forms and decide you don't want to wear them. Whatever you feel good with.
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Thanks Raye, I do get a few months of wearing FALL clothing, not to much need for winter garb, but it is fun to wear sweaters and jackets for at least a few days. I have tons of dressy boots that hardly ever get to see the light of day.
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Barbe, Cathi and Raye, you are completely self confident women. I know this is early days still and I like having options if I change my mind down the road. I'm looking at this as this is my body now and why should I feel pressured to look like I did before? Why go to that much trouble and discomfort to make other people not have to see what this disease does to women? I sound so soap boxy but on the other hand, this is a great cause.
Barbe - that guy was just an example of people in general not recognizing that we have choices and there are some of us who will exercise choice to look unconventional until there are enough of us that nobody cares. I guess it bothers me that I feel pressure to have boobs or the appearance of boobs to feel normal.
Great being your own role model, Barbe - I am glad to have you all as mine.
Do you do a lot of shopping that you find these clothes? They look so perfect. About half the stuff in my closet just doesn't look good anymore and the other half is real iffy. I've found different combinations of things but really need to get out there and see what works. It is really helpful to see those pics.0 -
While I was still healing from my mast, I went through my closet and got rid of my Boob Tops. The ones that had darts, plunging necklines, would sag with too much fabric without boobs, etc. It was very cathartic. Some were very expensive, some not so much. I gave the huge green garbage bag to my DD and DIL to go through so I knew at least some would get used by family. I gave my hairdresser a couple of my favourites from over the years. As I throw NOTHING out, it was quite a packed bag, well over-due in purging.
Then I got to shop. It was actually quite painful at times to lift my arms over my head and manouver out of some types of tops. Twice I was almost in tears in the change room when I realized that I couldn't get the top off! I learned to pull the bottom hem up and over my head by leaning my head between my knees as I sat down.
I felt NO guilt when I brought my purchases home and would model them for my DH. I let him feel how soft the fabrics were and made him a part of the decisions. I think it helped him a lot too, to see me so happy with a new top for my flat chest! I'm sure Ed is pleased as puch for Cathi that she has found so many bathing suits, it wasn't a good Spring for her as she dreaded the purchasing process.
Good luck to everyone! As Stacy and Clinton say "JUST TRY IT ON"! You'l be surprised!
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Barbe I did te same things as you about 2wks after MX, unloaded my closets and gave most things to our receptionist who is a single mom, now I know I could have kept a few things I gave away - but oh well, a good reason to buy more new - LOL. Ed is just like your honey as well, I am lucky he likes shopping and he is my "CLINTON" "Just Try It On" is now my motto as well, it is quite amazing the things that you can wear and look great flat chested.
Mary going boobless, having reconstruction are all very personal choices, you must do what feels good and right for you, just because I, Barbe, Raye or anyone is ok with the flat look, does not mean it is THE RIGHT AND ONLY choice for everyone, I am certain there will be times I will again wear my prosthesis, but honestly right now I can't even tell you where they are, so thats how important they are to me.
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Barbe - Kudos to you! I love your attitude.
Ladies, you would look wonderful in anything you wore. Your confidence and beauty shine through.
~elaine~
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Hi, All!
I was just noticing that this thread has been up for about a month, and that means I've been form-free again for about a month. I am really enjoying it, and I hope there will be some more pictures at some point. This thread has really given me my sense of comfort and style back, and I am very grateful for all of you.
Dawn
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Dawn,
Any chance of a few pics? You could crop out your face and just show from shoulders down . . .
So glad you're feeling comfortable and stylish. I've been making sporadic attempts at flat, wearing a tee with maybe an open blouse over it, but still use my forms for any social situations. This past week we've had painters at the house (painting the outside) and I've noticed that I run for my forms when I see them coming.
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Hi, Barbara!
It's not showing my face that's an issue for me. I am reluctant to put pictures on Facebook or other social networking sites, and I don't really understand Photobucket, but I have been reluctant also to use online photo storage. I do some semi-pro photography, and I don't want to have my work stolen. Please know that I don't consider photos of me flat-chested something anyone would want to steal! HA! It's just the means of getting the photos here that I have concern about. If I can ever get my questions answered to my satisfaction, I'd love to put up a few pictures! I actually liked the outfit I wore last night enough that I almost had my DH take a picture I could send to someone else to put on. Okay, I'm also shy. I have longish grey hair (growing out to an as-yet undetermined style) and I still want to lost 15 pounds, neither of which will make me look as young and beautiful as others who have posted, anyhow, but there you are. Thanks for your encouragement. I know that if only the small, young, beautiful ones post pictures, the rest of us will never get our courage up! Still, I don't want this thread to die. It has given me so much hope and encouragement.
Dawn
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Hi Dawn - just read your post, I certienly understand being shy about posting pics and also the worry of them getting into the wrong hands, I wish we could feel safe in thar=t area more, but I think we are all beautiful, young, old, tall, short, skinny - not so skinny, seeing all of us in our body types I agree is very uplifting and encouraging. Yours and all of our beauty comes from within - but as we must wear cloths in public, this thread is a tremendous help. XOXOXOXOXOXXO.
P.S Don't we all wanna loose 15 pounds - LOL
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Cathi,
You're just great! And you are absolutely right. If I send you some pics by PM, would you post them for me? (Of course I have to get the pics first!)
Dawn
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Dawn - I totally agree with Cathy; she is soooo right. We all have different body types and every type is beautiful!!!! Our differences make us unique and beautiful - each in our own way. And your hair sounds just lovely!
We are our toughest critics, that is for sure. I am somewhat shy about posting pics as well, so I certainly understand what you mean. As you can see, I changed my avatar to my dog!! You don't know how many times I have considered taking that bathing suit picture down! BAH!! ha. I leave the pic up, as perhaps it just might help someone, but sometimes cringe when I think of it being up there!! As Cathy said, we all want to lose 15 lbs!!
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Raye,
I appreciate your understanding, and you are absolutely right. I'll work on getting some pictures!
Dawn
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i must be a lesbian or something because i think the totally flat look is amazingly sexy and beautiful. i love the way i look just flat. i never have been a fan of boobs, .. they seem so poofy. i really enjoy the lines of an athletic body. i guess that's a good thing considering..
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DAWN -
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There yeah go Dawn - beautiful and perfect - I LOVE THE TOP.
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Wow, Dawn, you are so beautiful! And if I didn't know why you posted these photos, I wouldn't have noticed that you are flat. Thanks so much for sharing them. I also love the purple top.
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Dawn - You are one gorgeous lady!!! So glad to see your pics. I just love that purple jacket - would look awesome with a white tshirt underneath. Also, love the skirt and the purple blouse with the jeweled neckline. You are fabulous. And, as I expected, your hair is gorgeous.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Raye
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ah, and Apple - I do agree. When I talk about getting recon (every few months or so, I do ponder this - but it leads to my deciding against it once again), my mom will ask me why I want those "things." She says they make a woman look matronly. While larger breasts are quite beautiful for some women (and sexy); I would rather be small busted or flat.
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Just found this and I'm so happy to see all you beautiful ladies sharing your fashions!
I just had a mastectomy (left side only) and am considering going flat. The surgeon refused to do my right side at the same time as my left.
Now I'm wondering if instead of reconstruction I can get de-construction on my right side to match my left by a PS.
For the time being I'll wear the "stuffing" to make my clothes look ok but will look into the other option.
Thanks so much for sharing your photos!
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Thanks, Y'all!
Special thanks to Cathi for posting the pics for me. The purple jacket is my favorite jacket. It's a Coldwater Creek jacket with NO shaping or darts, so it works perfectly with my flat chest. I've never actually worn it with the purple top, but I wanted to include a pic of it. The U-neck top was one of the things I bought after seeing how great the rest of you looked in that type of top. If I can ever get my lower half to match my upper half, I'll be content...but I get my wide pelvis/hipbones from my mother, so it's not likely!
Thanks for the kind and supportive comments. It really is true that most people don't pay nearly as much attention to our chests as we do, I am pretty sure. I notice chests a lot more now that I've become so self-conscious about my own, but it's the women who HAVE breasts that I notice now!
Dawn
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Apple, I just wanted to say I don't think your preference for the 'flat look' has any thing to do with your sexual preferences. Everyone, straight or gay, has aesthetic preferences and who knows why certain things are appealing. It is so individual. But I agree with you - it is very good thing that you like your shape!
Although I find there are advantages to being flat chested, I still haven't gotten use to my shape. Hopefully, finding clothing that works will help.
Dawn, I also like the purple top! It is very becoming. And thank you very much for telling us where you got the purple jacket. I hate, hate shopping, so I need ideas of where to look for styles that would look good on me now.
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you look so great!! Giving me inspiration all over the place! I am considering bilateral and you make it look really good. Bless you for the photos.
Mary
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I had "Ta-Tas" from the age of 10. I was in a B cup in middle school. By the time I had my double mac, I was wearing .......let's say the surgeons had a hand full to work with that day. You know you have to heal and all prior to wearing the "things.' So, I went to work and my students, I teach 9th grade, said I looked better with no "Ta-Tas" and a round middle. I look about 5 months and that is what I tell people when I don't want to explain "I am not having a baby; I just don't have breast." When I want to have "Ta-Tas," I wear the thin strap undershirts one size too small. Wearing one size too small fits better in the breast area. I put on padded bras with extra cushion from socks. I got that trick from my friend who is an A cup and wants more for less. I tend to try on my shirts more. Depending on the style, some shirts fit fine without the fake things. Do what I do for fun when shopping, go to the nearest bra shop and say "What do you suggest a woman with no breast wear to give her some lift?" Wait for the reaction and laugh!
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Sharon,
You sound like you have a great sense of humor! It helps a lot, don't you think?
Dawn
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Dawn you are quite welcome, as I and everyone else expected you are beautiful. When your top fits your bottom please let me know your secret - LOL. I have always had the wide hip issue, or at least I think so, always wished I could stretch my legs several inches. Just one of the joys of being a woman, always wanting something to look different than what it is.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO -ALL
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Cathi,
Will do! I have the long legs, but I always wanted my shoulders to be as wide as my hips and 2' or 3" more length between my waist and shoulders, then I thought I would be perfectly proportioned. I wonder if I had magically gotten those two things, what I would be wanting next!!! (I know - the ability to tan!) Truth is I've never seen anyone I would really want to change bodies with, so I guess no one is perfect. And I don't know why I seem to expect myself to be, when I am much less hard on other people's little "flaws". One thing all these pictures has done for me is to help me relax a little with my self and enjoy wearing what I want to wear. When I get that down pat, I'm going to bottle it and sell it online!
Dawn
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Hi all, I am not having a good day today. I am almost 3 weeks out of chemo and did not have a reconstruction.
I am actually more bothered by my hair at the moment than my chest, but today, I was out at the beach and saw a group of women in bathing suits having fun - it made me feel really down. I don't know why - maybe just my impatience to get back to "normal"? I know that I can buy a mastectomy bathing suit, but it just brought on a really bad moment.
Can you offer any advice on how to deal with this? Some days are ok, but some are really hard. I know I am much earlier on than most of you with this, but if you can offer any advice, I would really appreciate it.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
Take good care, Judy xxxxx
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Dawn - I agree - there is no one I would want to changes bodies with either. Now maybe body parts! JK. You nailed it - we all have our imperfections. I too wish for broader shoulders because I feel that broad shoulders would make my hips look slimmer and I would be more proportionate. I have very narrow shoulders, long torso and short legs (BAH), but try to make the most of and take care of what I do have.
Judy - I can't really offer any advice on how to deal with these feelings, but can tell you that they are quite normal. Your hair will grow. Just be patient - I know much easier said than done, right? Hang in there. As for the body image and you seeing those women in bathing suits - you had one of those moments. You saw women in bathing suits and perhaps saw some cleavage (I am assuming here) and felt you are not "normal" because you haven't had your reconstruction yet. Again, just surmising. Honey, I will tell you we all feel this way from time to time. It can be the Victoria's Secret catalogue that comes to the house every day, or the VS commercial, going to the beach as you mention or a movie with bit of nudity and there they are! Boobs everywhere. Some days these things bother me - other days, they don't bother me at all. I try to concentrate on the positive - I am healthy, feeling good, active. It will get easier - the hardest time for me emotionally was AFTER treatment was over - it was like "now what?" Just know that you are not alone in these feelings, and YES, they come and go and probably always will, but they will lessen.
You take care,
Raye
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Judy,
I have had those feelings as well, and as Raye says, sometimes it is a magazine or catalog or TV show. It doesn't matter where the images come from; they all remind us of what we no longer have, and that is hard. I will say that I really began feeling better after seeing the pictures on this thread. When I saw how great Cathi & Raye looked in bathing suits and cute tops and dresses, I realized that I could stop worrying about what I didn't have and start concentrating on what I CAN wear with what I do have. It is a lot more than I was telling myself. You are still very close to the whirlwind of diagnosis and treatment, and I promise you it will get better as time passes. Meanwhile, remember that your sisters are here for you every step of the way! You are NOT alone!
Dawn
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