MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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We aren't cougars at this age (over 50). Apparently we're pumas!
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hi gals***
so, i saw the header...Middle-Aged Women...and i thought ..oh..how nice...OH>>>>yikes..that is me* haha i was diagnosed at age 49 and here i am 57..oh wow. usually i post on the stage III boards or try to help out newbies . this is a great thread.... i didn't know we weren't cougars anymore....now we are Pumas???? OH MY My ..My// how times flies..
diana50
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HI all my fellow middle agers,
I am 55, getting close to being one year out of dx. It was the year from hell, I had terrible reactions from chemo and ended up being depressed and suicidal. My family and friends supported me so much, and now I am so much better and grateful to God for helping me. Working thru radiation was a challenge for me, worked half days and then got radiation and went home to sleep. Tried to work thru chemo but couldn't. Now on arimedex. Dear friends, lets continue to stick together! Sisters!
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lovemyfamilysomuch,
Glad you had alot of support and made it through that year from hell. This is a good place to be as no one really understands until they've been there. As I read what some of my sister's have been through I think what was I complaining about ?
Blessings,
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To rreynolds1
Thanks for your book recommendation. I'll make sure to read it. Take care.
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Great idea for a thread. Most of us have been through a year or two of Hell and still have major lives to deal with. Lets all keep in touch even if we just need to bitch. oops hope that word was okay?
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Well hi gals, I'm 54. I've just finished treatment. Had 6 rounds of chemo and 33 radiation treatments over the summer. The chemo left me pretty anemic so the first of the summer I was napping and sleeping a lot. But, I pushed myself to exercise and eat right. Each week of the summer my energy improved. 2 weeks before the radiation was done I was informed that I was no longer anemic. I'm doing pretty well right now. I tire a little bit easy than I did pre-chemo but over all I'm doing really well and I've been able to exercise 6 out of 7 days most weeks. Survival will motivate you that way. My sons are grown 28 and 26. My father died 18 months ago. His loss was much more difficult than my cancer. I do worry about my mother however and I visit her every week. I was a labor and delivery nurse for many years but, then I switched to mental health. I'm a licensed professional counselor now. I work part-time so that I have time for my hobby which is pottery and time to spend Mondays with Mom.
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I don't know where I fit. I am 46, was going stong career-wise until recently, but have a young child (age 7) who has special needs (our only child, adopted after infertility). Many of the things younger women are going through regarding child-rearing and juggling bc relate to me. But my middle-aged body and also having aging parents etc. while I also deal with my own medical situation fits more with this age group. I am a long way from enjoying "freedom." Sometimes I feel like I don't really fit anywhere in my bc experience, in terms of my personal life (not my medical dx and related experiences--get great support for that here.)
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We've amassed quite a good group already in only one day...Welcome to all!
Not that there is ever a "good time" to get breast cancer, but I'm thankful that my teens can pretty much go about their business as I get ready to run the gauntlet of radiation Tx.
The downside on timing, in my case, is that six months ago I moved my 80 yr. old mom into my home. She's been living with Stage IV lung cancer for two years so far, but after a year of aggressive chemo she found herself with chemo-induced congestive heart failure, then pneumonia. She was on life support (ventilator) for 2 months in the Winter, but slowly recoved and surprised more than a few of the doctors. I was still reeling from the intensity of her illness and the changes in my household when I got my own Dx. Double whammy!
She finished a course of 14x radiations last month, now it's my turn. What a summer! I don't really like that cancer is the "new normal" around my house.
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Hey you "middle-aged" women with small children --- yes, you do belong here! You can join the "Younger" thread as well. I heard they don't "card" you, and I won't tell.
Mumayan, so long as it's a verb and not a noun. We have to have some standards, don't we?
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Hi I am 42 dianosed in 08 IDC. I am half way to an empty nester oldest son is 20 and is at University and my other son is 14 and still in grade 9.
Lori
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Hi elimar, I love you group, I am in the middle-sh of the age and love life.
We are (Gods) Women Winners of cancer. Thank you for opening this
wonderful group.
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Just saw this thread and already it has 2 pages! How in the heck am I going to keep up with it?
I am 49 years old - diagnosed last year - 3 months prior to turning 49. I am a custodial stepmom to a 14 year old boy who has been so supportive and compassionate and has helped me so much with this journey. My husband and I have been married 9 years now - we met originally when we were only 10 years old in Italy and then got married 30 years later when we found each other.
I quit work when I got diagnosed because I found it too difficult to concentrate and I was working with over 20 horses a day. I am anxious to get back to work but am looking for just part-time work now and havent' decided if I want to go back to working at the elementary schools like I did before I started working at the horse barn full time. I am scared to go look for a job as the last thing I need is disappointment.
I am counting down the years until I can get those great senior discounts! Hey.....25 cent coffee at McDonalds, etc. I will be the first to raise my hand and tell people that I qualify!
I just started radiation so I still have 25 more treatments to go.
Oh and yes.....I have the ONLY male tech at the radiologist department which is HUGE. He is probably 30 years old - good looking and here I am middle aged, menopausal, and 15 lbs overweight from those freaking steroids! And he gets to weigh me once a week
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HI Ladies,
Happy Birthday Victoria !!!
Cougar or Puma..either is fine with me cause I like cats LOL. I had not really thought of myself as someone who looked like a grandma until I went with my son to register his son for school. The teacher came up to me and said "oh, your a grandma, I was lookin for the parents" LOL. It's ok cause I luv being a grandma.
My hubby and I like to go camping (in a camper of course) when weather is good. Sometimes we tell our kids that we are having our own weekend and they cant come LOL. My kids are all grown. In the winter we like to take off and go a couple hrs away to Springfield, IL and shop, eat at Red Lobster and chill in the hotel, just to get away. I can't do alot of stuff thanks to breast cancer but I can camp and shop LOL. I crochet alot and I like to read. I have 2 sons ages 32 & 28 , a daughter 24 and a foster son who is 29. I have 3 grandsons and one foster grandaughter. Also have 2 cats and a 6 month old toy poodle puppy. I stay as busy as my body will allow but it's hard to sit back and let others do the work. Worse yet is to watch someone do things poorly LOL. I am a type A personality so sitting on my rump and giving up my job were the hardest for me. I really miss working. But I am very grateful for SSDI and medicare.
I hope you all have a great day !!!! Hugs, Mazy
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Hi, all.
I'm another middle-ager with young kids. I'm 50 and my kids are 12, 8, and 5. I hope to be around for all their graduations and weddings and babies!
About those "pumas" - I believe that was a nickname coined during Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign after it became clear she wouldn't be the nominee and yet there were still women who would support only Hillary - it was an acronym for "Party Unity, My A.."
Anyway, I can relate to the "sandwich generation" theme. I take my 85-year-old mom to her medical appointments, and my youngest just started kindergarten and has to have all the checkups that go along with that, and my own treatment has been requiring lots of exams lately. So I've been joking that I've spent more time lately in medical examining rooms than I have at work. It's nearly true.
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I may be 52, but I certainly don't feel 52. Actually I think I have much more freedom then at any other age. It has been almost 5 years since I found out I had breast cancer and now have to think about it everyday. I have taken many more risks and taken advantage of more opportunities since I was diagnosed. I now have become more accepting. Yes it is sad to see the kids grow up, but as a co-worker puts it, you have done your job. Yes it is hard to see our parents become more needy, mine are moving to an assisted living facility soon. Isn't this all part of the life cycle. I want to celebrate my 50's (cause I missed the second half of my 40's due to cancer) and take some chances, have some fun. I have always been a worrier and one of my goals in my 50's is to put aside the worry and live life the best I know how.
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Hello everybody!! I am 45 and had my kids ealry so they are 25 and 22. Some days my mind tells me I am much more than 45. I was the baby of three so my parents are both gone. I have dreams of empty nest but alas they all still live with me incluing the grandbabies..(2 and 3) I also thought that DH and I were going to soon be able to settle in and do some stuff for US and then WHAM there was that DX.
I also went back to work quickly after my bi-lat as the house was much to chaotic and i was getting in a funk...BUT if I had to do it over again I would have tried to stay home and made it work a little better. Work is very stressful these days and some days I feel like I am wasting precious time to come to work and be miserable...then I come home and the babies are making messes and acting out and I know that there are worse things than work (LOL)
We all have one thing in common, we are STRONG women and have fought this disease and stayed sane (well at least i THINK i am still sane) and are living to talk about it. I hope that all of you have a great day today. What a wonderful group of ladies!!
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Elimar, look what you've started!! I love it!!
Even with the common denominator of a similar age range, added as well as the BC card, we are still amazingly diverse in our stories. How wonderful to be introduced to such a strong cross section of women.
We are a Brady-bunch style family, scaled back for the 90's.... I had two daughters, he had two sons and there was no Alice living-in as house-keeper! We've celebrated 15 years of marriage recently and look forward to entire new chapters together.
Our latest adventure in the saga is that the youngest of the four above has just gotten engaged and is to be married six weeks from TODAY!! We rejoice in their committment to one another.... and have just a few details to attend to for that celebration.
Together we have a total of 6 grandchildren, as we were just blessed with a new healthy baby boy at the beginning of the summer. My first born has 3, just down the road from us, which includes a set of twinsies that are now walking and starting to jabber. Let me tell you, this is my favorite chapter by far.
By the looks of our growing membership, I doubt that I'll ever be able to 'keep up' with who is who, but it's a delight to read the stories shared at this point.
Hope that everyone has a glorious day.
xx00xx00xx00xx
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I was diagnosed just 2 months before I turned 40. Paget's Disease was my culprit. A rare cancer, not specifically fast progressing, and the survival rate is 95%. After reading posts on the forum for the last couple of days, I almost feel as though I got off lucky.
August 12, 1 month after my 40th birthday, I had my BLM and started reconstruction. I chose the BLM so I could rid the right breast of the cancer, and to try to ensure there wouldn't be cancer found in the left breast some time in the future. The pathology says there was DCIS found in the right breast. I'm satisfied I made the correct decision in taking such a drastic route.
I haven't had to suffer greatly. I don't have to endure chemo or radiation. I didn't have any lymph nodes removed. I've not sat there and worried about how I will cope, I just did what I had to do to get the cancer out. To this point, I haven't thought about whether it will come back, maybe I will down the road.
Have I cheated? I see all these beautiful women suffering through radiation and chemo. Suffering with the idea that their reconstruction has to be held off for one reason or another, and I feel bad! I have been told a lot lately that I am strong, a hero, courageous...I won't accept the compliments easily, because I see others suffer far more than myself. I got an EASY cancer and went with the EASY fix, and new breasts to top it off.
I wish all of you the best...I hope for easier times to fall upon all of you! And I look forward to finishing my recovery and being productive again
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msroulette, I have one better than you! I didn't do chemo or rads or adjuvent therapy AND I didn't do recon! So I have "suffered" less than you!
hehehehehehe (you'll get to know me...)I don't feel "guilty" at all as I have other health issues to keep me suffering....sigh. We all have our crosses to bear.
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Barbe..thank you for smacking some perspective in there. Why did you decide to not do recon?
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I didn't think my body would recover quickly enough for me to go back to work quickly. I had 2 1/2 weeks off for the double mast and that's about as much as I could financially handle. I also didn't want to be under for 10-14 hours as I have other health issues that could have compromised my life. I was also sick of heavy breasts and even had a reduction years ago that took me to a 42D. I have arthritis in my neck and back (among other places) and not having the weight has helped. I really don't mind this at all and love watching people's faces as they try to figure it out. My bad? 0
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msroulette: I've said it many times, and mean it every time. Being a breast cancer survivor is not about suffering through various treatments. It is dealing with the fact that we were going along minding our own business and got smacked in the face with this diagnosis. It changes your life forever in ways so many just don't understand. It is dealing with the fear of recurrence and facing your own mortality. Sure, keeping perspective and reminding yourself that things could be worse is always a good idea, but don't ever feel like you've cheated. You are a survivor.
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Barbe, that seeing people's faces thing cracks me up. I told my son yesterday that I found a t-shirt that says "under constrcution" with a cancer ribbon on the shoulder...I thought it would be great to have. He didn't react well, and when I asked why, he just said it was hard to laugh when he sees me in pain due to the surgery. He did, however, think it was humorous. I walk around my complex wearing my tank tops, and t-shirts with a semi-flat chest...and wonder if people's brains are tripping over what to think, and I smile at myself for causing some of the perplexion.
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msroulette, it's not often that you hear "easy" and "cancer" in the same sentence. But not so fast...You've already got a challenger. IT"S ON!!!
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Hi everybody! I'm glad to see a thread for us 'middles'. I am 49. (I will be 50 on the 26th but I'm sticking to the 49!) I have 3 kids - no grandchildren yet. This is my second bout with cancer. I had Hodgkins Lymphoma in my 20's and the radiation treatment caused this cancer. Luckily for me, I had my kids early before the HL. I am now trying to decide about Tam. Since I'm premenopausal, I'm fearful but - anyway - I opted for a BLM since the chances of me getting cancer in the other breast were extremely high. I still have the TE's. Brca 1 and 2 neg, thank goodness. Anywho, just wanted to join in!
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Hi, I'm 57 and had just finished graduate school when I was diagnosed last year. I knew I was middle aged when the plastic surgeon I saw a few months ago told me I could have a tummy tuck with the DIEP and it sounded like way too much effort (so I came to this board looking for ideas and alternatives).
I'm three years younger than my mother was when she succumbed to bc--but mine is a post menopausal version and she was only 43, a DES mom also taking birth control pills after 6 kids in 10 years. She became a passionate and incredibly creative fiberartist after her first surgery because they told her needlework would help with lymphedema. It was like she'd found her calling and her curse all at once.
I keeping looking for the blessings; I can't believe I'm saying this, but on some level, I feel grateful for this whole experience and all (good and awful) that it bestows.
Thanks for the thread.
C
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I haven't reached that "grateful" stage yet. This has been a bump in the road I didn't need. 0
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cbm: that totally cracked me up, a new definition for middle age, when the tummy tuck sounds like too much effort.
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That explains what I felt and didn't know how to say it.
kmmd you changed your avatar! Weren't you a beautiful little puppy before?
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