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MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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Comments

  • bettysgirl
    bettysgirl Member Posts: 645

    hey everybody!!! I;m so ready for the one mo day!!! It has been a long week at work.

    Gibby- I think if you write a song it might go GOLD (LOL) Whew what a week. (((((HUGS)))) It has to get better from here.

    I told the girls from my fall chemo group (last yr) that i have been having brain freezes on a regular basis this week. Seems like either the chemo brain has gotten worse or tamoxifen and chemopause have captured more of my functioning brain cells. I also think it could be from the veins popping in my head when the grandbabies get into stuff while DD is not watching. This past weekend it was EGGS on my floor....Tonight they are tag teaming to get milk out of the fridge...You name it those two can think of it. They are three and turned two today (happy BD Khara) They are almost like twins and boy do they wear us out. regardless is is getting quite embarassing and frustrating!!!!

    Hubby is sick with fever and aches.....UHHH OHHHH.....I am trying to steer clear. Not sure what he has all I know is that I don't want it.

    I hope all of you have a GREAT evening and a WONDERFUL Friday.

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 4,424

    Hey Middies, new & old.

    Now we have a country singer gone gold

    AND at least one stand up comediane.

    I think a couple of you could have a tag team on the stand up routine.

    Maybe we should write a collaborative book.

    Hope everyone sleeps easily, deeply and well tonight.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

  •     Hey Paula, I am 59 also.  It is amazing how cancer changes your outlook on aging. I used to think 40 was old. Then I remember when I moved to stage lV in 98 I was praying I would live til 50.  Now I am looking forward to 60

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 35,657

     Hey Ladies, I just finished having a hot flash, WOW,

    Does that count for exercising (The way we sweat)

    Bettygirl, I still have some chemo brain. Faith, How

    are those kids. To all the other wonderful ladies thanks for

    caring. Emilar thanks for starting this group and all the nice

    people that are here. God bless You, Debbie

  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 1,605

    Just found this thread and think it's great.  I see some old friends here and hope to make some new ones.   I am a 43 mother of 2 boys, 14 and 10.  I married my best friend and we have a wonderful relationship. I'm a stay at home Mom for now, someday I look forward to returning to work.

    Have a great night everyone.

    Linda

  • arby
    arby Member Posts: 27

    Your post was a bright spot in my confusing day.  I've had a recurrence in less than 2 yrs and got the word that I need herceptin AND chemo.  (I already donated one previously radiated breast 3 wks ago)  Anyway your entry was a HUGE attitude check.  been looking for something cause He doesn't seem to be speaking to my cries and I've been searching him out regularly in the bk of Joshua.  "be strong and courageous!".  Blessings on all who read this in whatever you're struggling with tonight.  arby

  • Nebraskagrandma
    Nebraskagrandma Member Posts: 137

    marybe,

          I am looking forward to 60 also. I have been a widow for 11 yrs and will be getting married next July 3rd. That will be the 2nd anniversary of my mx surgery. (My daughter-in-law said it was the first day of the rest of my life) If I didn't wait until after I was 60 I'd lose my benefits, so it was worth the wait :o)

    Welcome Welcome Welcome ......ALL ! great to have you joining us at this great place elimar made for us. I think this is one time it's good to be a "Middle"

    Blessings all around !

  • kem123
    kem123 Member Posts: 4

    Hi am 47 diagnosed in 2005 with DCIS had bilateral mastectomies. Thought I was done but this year, came back with invasive ductal Stage 3b. Thank God no LN pos! Awaiting number 3 out of 6  TC .My life has changed a lot too. I'm a physician and I am not able to work. As such it's hard being on the Other Side. Always the caregiver never the receiver. I know God has a plan for me as I have told my patients still fighting. He's not finished me yet. But I find it sometimes hard to let go of control. Go figure! This year has been rough! Medical issues for all the family. Teenage rebellion as well. I wish that could have happened before.That is killing me faster than the cancer! Anyone have any suggestions of how to find that quiet serene spot to nurture the soul. My tank is past empty!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    kem123... Hi and Welcome to this board. What you wrote in your DX is almost the same as mine except  HER2-. Why are you told Stage IIIa, and I am stage I. I am sorry for asking you a question like this one. But I am little confused.

    And that serene spot!!!!!! if you find it let me know, sometimes I feel like running some place and I don't know where. Maybe a deserted island will do the trick. Feel better soon.

    Smile Sheila Smile

  • queenlurker
    queenlurker Member Posts: 34

      Yes, this is my first post since my diagnosis 2 years ago today.  I love being middle aged because it means I will live to be 100!

    Been trying to move on since I finished treatment - triple neg.  Reconstruction done except my tatoos.  The hardest parts for me were, being a patient and having patience.

    Never would have made it through without bco-Pat yourselves on the back, you are helping all of us lurkers. Maybe I will inspire someone else to "come out of the closet" and I won't have the distinction of being the "queen".

    Praying for all my new "gold" friends-casey     

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885

    kem123, We've all heard that "doctors make the worst patients," but I think they can make pretty good forum members SO WELCOME!  You will have an interesting perspective on things, to be sure!

    Teen rebellion?  I second that emotion!  Oh yes, you are in the right place.

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885

    When I joined the discussion board about a month ago, I went straight for the serious topics under IDC (my cancer) and RADS (my next step, cause I had already had my surgery.)   Very helpful.

    After that, I began this thread, to find some "peer group" women because of having only one friend who is a survivor and the prevalence of males in my own household.  I just wanted some understanding.  I wanted to connect.  Also, I wanted a place to be a little more "freestyle" in my thoughts and feelings about breast cancer.

    I am so happy that everyone "got it" and I am really liking this thread.  It is supportive and funny and informative too in its own way.  Thanks to all who have joined in to post or just read.  It's going to be fun to see this thread grow.  If only I had thought of a snappier title, but like the snowball said on it's way downhill, "It's too late now!"

  • queenlurker
    queenlurker Member Posts: 34

    elimar,

    I knew my non bc friends did not "get it" when they didn't think the thread on "how I got my bc" (referring to barbie dolls, wax lips, and trolls etc) wasn't hysterically funny.  It was awhile ago, but worthwhile looking for

    casey 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605

    kt57 (Kathy) what is standing up in your avatar? I'm almost afraid to ask!

    kem123, how the HECK do you get a ductal cancer when you've had a bilateral mastectomy! I've had a BM and have NO ducts left. Now you have me worried....Undecided

    As for the joking about cancer, I work with all males, so when I came back to work totally flat they said I was more one of the boys now. I said "Hey, I may have lost my breasts, but I found my balls!" Another thing I said, as I live an hour north of the office, is that it was sold cold in Barrie last winter I froze my tits off. It's funny when I say it, but one of the older Italian guy keeps repeating it (hey, it's August, helloooooo!) and it is iritating me. I think it's his way of densensitizing.....sheesh.

  • kem123
    kem123 Member Posts: 4

    My new cancer, the invasive ductal cancer came in left breast on the chest wall that had a originally been DCIS. Looking at the slides from 2005 didn't show it.Soon after surgeries I has developed a seroma (fluid) in the Left breast and pain. Had the fluid drained and the biopsy showed no cancer just necrotic tissue. At the time I thought I should be worried and force the issue of an open biopsy but my surgeons and oncologists felt none was necessary. Words of wisdom(It's your body go with what You feel. The likelihood of this happening is less than 1%. Go figure! Even my oncologist was baffled and asked the Tumor board for their recommendations. I was all set for radiation and go about my business until end of June chemo and radiation and followed by tamoxifen! I tired to recon right after surgery the tissue expanders without the saline was murder! So instead plan B live as whatever cup I want to be. I now have bras in different bright colors (before in my size I only had black beige and white ) Life in that aspect is good! Only one problem.  I can't bend over without feeling someone can look inside my blouse and know I don't have breasts. Any suggestions?

  • gibby
    gibby Member Posts: 25

    O.K. so I got my banjo out to compose my song and it brought tears to my DH's eyes. Maybe because I don't know how to play it! Oh well, maybe I'll just hum a little tune instead. Hope everyone has a great day!

  • Nebraskagrandma
    Nebraskagrandma Member Posts: 137

    barbe1958,

    I was wondering the same thing about that avatar of kt57's ? I kinda took a double take.........

    kem123,

    don't want to be to intrusive but I am wondering about the dx also. I understand being the caregiver I'm a nurse and my 3rd child is 31 and handicapped. Spent my whole life caring for others, It is a difficult transition, I have been lucky enough to have a S.O. of 9 1/2 yrs to take over that roll with me, As for the teens rebelling makes me wonder if part of it is their way of coping with your situation, just a thought ........God knows teens don't really need a reason. A quiet spot to nuture the soul, that's a tough one. It can be different for everyone.For me whenever I need a boost, an uplift I went to see Lincoln, or our kids brought Lincoln to me. He is my Grandson via my S.O. that was born in May '08. The night of my MX his Mom & Dad brought him to the hospital (he was 8 weeks old) and laid hime in my lap, brings tears to my eyes yet to think what that meant to me. Just being around him or holding him, brought me to a great place. My sister said it was nice of them to have that baby for me. All the other Grandkids live out of town.

    queenlurker,

    I was the same way I was dx 08, I would get on and read, and read but never got the nerve to jump in and start posting until a month ago. Now I'm glad I did, although my sisters may get sick of listening to me sometimes :o)

    elimar,

    The name of our thread is fine, look at all the gals it attracted ! I know, I know you're probably wishing you'd come up with something sexier ...........

    Have a great Friday Ladies ! Horray for getting these @#$@%%& stitches out !

  • kem123
    kem123 Member Posts: 4

    I am definitely not the world's best typist!  I look in chagrin at my posting. Anyhoo! I started chemo with TC. The actual getting the dose is difficult.I get neck and chest pain even with premedication of steroids and benedryl. So my oncologist gave me some steroids pills to take before treatment. I  also refused a port and my veins are protesting. So is my skin-dermatitis.Hair   fell out just before 2nd dose. I thought that would get me . Not really! The local cancer society gifted me with my wig. Not bad. I can choose whatever hairstyle or color I want to be too. But overall so far so good, a little fatigue for three days and then I'm better. First time I had 3 weeks to recover and returned and the oncologist says you're doing well let's try every two weeks and I received the Neulasta the next day. I think that tired me out secondary to bone pain and a  little SOB. That lasted 2 days extra. We'll see next week. Hope the rest of the days of the week fine you well. Keep busy! Less time to think. Thanks so much  for this thread! I am seeing a nutritionist and I go to a cancer support group, a psychotherapist to deal with my daughter, and a minister  whose specialty is dealing with cancer. All I need is a form of activity ( I'm thinking yoga). I'm off to find my happy place. The minister suggested a visit to a labryinth . 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605

    And where the heck do you look for a labryinth....a corn field?..an English garden?...a house of mirrors?...a Halloween set? That's a pretty weird suggestion in my book.

    Have you considered pilates? I want someone else to do it first to tell me if I could do it. Laughing

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885
    I'm finding breast cancer to be labyrinth enough!   Surprised
  • bettysgirl
    bettysgirl Member Posts: 645

    not sure but it looks like a meerkat in her avitar

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    Now that's what I was thinking! You think?
  • gibby
    gibby Member Posts: 25

    Barbe; I do pilates and it is great. Just do it slowly and I combine it with yoga. It feels great and really stretches the body out.

  • carollynn79
    carollynn79 Member Posts: 331

    Boy do I agree that BC is a labyrinth!!!  I too would like to join this thread, I am 49 will be 50 in December and keep saying I am going to get this out of the way and pave the way for the next 49!!  I too think this is middle age so I have a lot of life left.  I have two grown sons, my youngest wild child lives in Las Vegas how fitting but he loves it, my oldest lives in Albuqureque, both went to far off big cities but grew up on a farm in the thnumb region of Michigan where I still live.  I love the rural life.  I used to be able to keep the boys in line with making them pitch out by hand the manure from the pens but the youngest discoverd what great exercise and body building it was and did it anyway, go figure!!  LOL  I do not envy anyone with younger kids and teens go thru this.  I beleive that this disease messes with your mind and body the options alone are mind boggling when you are just trying to deal with having Cancer let alone make life altering deciicions on very short notice.  My thoughts are we all have to live with our decisions so there is not one right way.  I am so blessed to have have a great family and frinds who have helped me thru this.  I just completed Rads Wednsday and the burns under and on top of the breast are starting to heal, still can't wear a bra for more than a littel bit at a time but it is coming and soon will be much better. I have also been on Tamox for 6 weeks so far ok biggest issue I have is sleeping but hope now that rads is done I wil begin to sleep better,  I did not work thru this as I had a 3 1/2 hour round trip just to get to treatment, I also work an hour away so the logistics did not work and it is very slow.  Others who were on lay off were glad to get back just wish the circumstances were different.  May start back a few hours a day next week to help out and then work from home a bit will see how it works.  I like to work in the garden for my mind cleansing  or take a walk in the woods.

  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 118

    Hi,

    this is a great idea--- I am 48--was dx in October with an early stage ER+, PR+ Her2- 2.5 cm lump... not picked up on mammogram-found in doctors office -- had a lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and 5 years at least of femara and lupron. My oncotype was in the gray area, so I opted for chemo.  Clear margins and no nodes-I feel very lucky.  I had wonderful treatment and was able to work full-time through most of it.  I have 2 children- 13 and 8..... and I am totally planning to be around for a good long time!!!

     My hair is back-full, thick and curly--- so I stopped wearing my wig in July (finished chemo in Feb).  I have had some slight se's from the meds, but nothing that is not doable.  I would say the same to those who are considering chemo-it is unpleasant, but you can do it.  I have my follow up with the onc in a week--looking forward to it--- going to talk about whether I should remove my ovaries (I am thinking no), whether to have the gene test (again, I think maybe not--absolutely no history in my family)....

    I have been feeling pretty great- and am now back to working on exercise and eating habits..... I think having a this group is a wonderful idea as the issues are different in this particular stage of life...... 

    carole

  • bettysgirl
    bettysgirl Member Posts: 645

    Barbe- I had to laugh with the freezing you tits off!!! These people have to remember that despite the hard situation the laughter is what keeps us going. We all need to laugh at ourselves from time to time. I think some people are so caught up in political corectness that they have lost their sense of humor. The how i got BC thread has been a way for us to laugh at ourselves and to take a jab at all the research out there that tries to find a cause....it is HUMOR that's all

    And i think it is a meerkat but he looks like he is standing in front of a heatlamp?????

    Have a great weekend ladies.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    Hello Everybody, since cool weather is around the corner for some of us, I want to tell you one SE you will have if you'll be legally bald this winter LoL. I was one of those lucky ones.

    Make sure you have a warm hat or something when you go to bed, your scalp will thank you the next morning. I live in a co-op and we get plenty of heat but my head was never warm. MY onco nurse gave me this blue hat even tough it took me back to Little House on The Prarie  ha ha ha

    at least i could sleep better.

    Have a wonderful weekend

    Smile Sheila Smile

  • kt57
    kt57 Member Posts: 75

    My avatar is a meerkat in front of a heat lamp.   My 20 year old son thought it was hilarious and sent it to me right before I started radiation!    Every time I post, I think I should change it, now that rads are history..... yeah!

    kem123: Hang in there.  I did 6 rounds of TC- definately no fun!  Finished in April and it, too, is a distant (albeit unpleasant) memory.  Hope those steroids help you through the infusions.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605

    betty, I'm seeing the heat lamp too, and the meerkat looking at me, right?

  • Nebraskagrandma
    Nebraskagrandma Member Posts: 137

    Personally Kathy, I love the Meerkat...I think it's great that your son could add some humor to your situation.