MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
-
Better yet,take a small recorder with you.That's what we did!! You'll be so over whelmed by what they are saying you won't remember half of it.
Kathi
0 -
Happy New Year, Middies.
Didn't mean to keep anybody guessing about my where-with-all. I've had a very lovely, sane, worry free day. I wish I could bottle this sense of calm & well-being. It must be from all of the prayers, PMs, FB wishes, phone calls, emails...... well you get the idea.
My goal for the day was to get the Christmas tree taken down, with the ornaments put away & I've gotten it done!!!! You may remember that last year I never took the teeny tree down & just moved it into the guest room for 11.3 months. LOLOLOL. So this is a major accomplishment.
I had an epiphany this morning that has made me very happy. All along, before this drama, our plan was for DH to depart for FL tomorrow morning. Well this morning, I realized that his getting to go south according to the original 'plan' was the one thing we could actually control.
So the two of us had a big heart-to-heart & he's spent the day packing the car with me getting the laundry together for his departure. I am sooooooooo glad about this.
We had of course both assumed that I'd be a dithering ninny & that there was no question that he would stay here.
The only downside, is that he won't be here when I get the actual 'news' path-findings. (No plan is perfect.) I am planning to pack a bag and move into Sarah's for the rest of the weekend. That will benefit each of us.
The way I look at it, is that if I need to proceed with surgery mid-Jan, he will be back in plenty of time for that. If I were to win the lottery and receive the get out of jail free card, not requiring surgery, I'll join him in FL mid-month as per the original design and we all go merrily along.
This way he will have a couple weeks of sunshine, golf, warmth and our life as we imagine it, prior to returning here to become my nursemaid if that's needed (surgery).
So here's what I need from you. Tell me that you're proud of me for thinking 'big picture' and that you'll keep on praying for my continued calm. Got it? No body gets to panic. Worst case scenerio is that he could fly back at a moments notice.
Remember my big girl panties are on..... this is not my first waltz on this program.
Strangely enough I have four school visits to make next week -- the most I've scheduled compactly in ages & ages..... in an effort to get to FL. So I will have 'plenty' to keep me occupied.
Then Jan. 11th it's fly to Baton Rouge and Coonie's waiting embrace.
As a very wise woman told me this afternoon -- in that she had a similar 'call' to make -- there will quite possibly be numerous sacrifices for him to make in the coming months. These two weeks are not needed to be vaporized.
So there you have it.
The laundry's done. The tree is down. The car is packed and our beloved Buckeyes are tied in the Rose Bowl. All is well with my world.
Keep up the prayers for calm & acceptance.
I am reading the threads about mastectomies and what to expect. If anyone has 'specifics' to share of their experience -- I would greatly appreciate your sharing, or PM.
1. What helpful hints beyond the first thread in that department do you have to offer?
2. What were you like/able to do at one week, two weeks, three weeks, a month etc. How soon do you think it's realistic for me to be singing and dancing again with young children..... which also requires lifting gear, hardshell guitar case (heavy) etc etc. Six weeks? Eight weeks?
Of all the areas on the boards, I can't seem to find a comprehensive thread(s) that outlines real life experiences and expectations. If I'm missing some section some one point out the obvious.
Go BUCKEYES!!!!
0 -
Kitty, sorry that you were forced to find us, but so glad that you did.
This place is a goldmine for support & wisdom.
Sounds like we are marching into the New Year on the same time-frame...... waiting for news thru this long weekend. I seriously am eerily calm this trip...... so I'll send some of that your way. The prayer support alone is worth the membership card dues.
((((((((((((((((((((((((Kitty))))))))))))))))))))))
0 -
Faith,
I admire your tenacity. Very proud of you and will continue to pray for calm. I'll let you know about surgery IF you need it.
Q
0 -
I am having my beast off this Thursday and I am very scared. I don't have i anyone around my town that i know that as had this done.I guess i just need some one to talk to.
0 -
Thanks to all the info ladies.I will start some notes and get on with this.Im anxious to know where i stand with this .Im so glad i found this site.Its made great company and a learning tool to help pass the days till i know more .FAITH, I will pray for peace and calmness too.Thank you for your kindness.CARGIVER,I will have you and all the others in my prayers. Im not real sure but you probally can find a thread that someone who has had that done can tell you about it.I will send some of the calmness that faith is sharing....LOL!!
0 -
HELLO KITTY, I just love that, sorry you had to be here but you can here for a purpose and that was so we could help you. I know you are scared, but take a deep breath and try to relax. No news right now is good news at this point. I had a lumpectomy, completed TC x 4 and am now on my way to radiation. I know the norm here is not to have a general surgeon operate on you, but I did and have been very satisfied. Now in saying that, if I had a do over, I might do things differently, but so far so good. The first part is the worst, because you don't know which way you are going. In a couple of weeks you will have the complete picture and you will be on your way to fight this monster. I will keep you in my prayers.
cargiver, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I do hope you have someone that can help you. This is a great site for getting answers, comfort and understanding. We will be there for you to rant and rave and cry and whatever you need. I will keep you in my prayers.
Happy New Years to all you wonder middies, 2010 has to be better than 2009.
Juannelle
0 -
Hi! Last year on Dec. 26th I had a breast Biopsy. It was cancerous. I had a horrible year of surgeries to avoid radiation and Chemo. Thank God that it is over. It was soo scary. Many new friends and months later I am happy to say I feel normal again.I do not think about cancer every minuite of every day any more. My body has been restored to something I can live with.I am ready to start a new normal year. Thank you all for your support and guidance. Don't be scared until you have to be scared. The Lord has many surprises for us. I wish you peace this year.
0 -
FYI-I too had a general surgeon do my lumpectomy! She was great. I had a 2nd opinion visit with another general surgeon & I chose the 1st mostly because she was a woman, not because of any better ability or credentials. Joni
0 -
I really like when women like Lydia come here to post, to let us know that they are moving on to something that feels normal again. Happy (and encouraged) to hear about it!
Besides the obvious information, help and understanding that a typical "Newbie" requires, it also is important to let the newly diagnosed women know that it is possible to get to that place where it's not all breast cancer 24/7.
0 -
I had a bilateral mastectomy last July,and did 6 rounds of chemo,taxotere and cytoxan.I also had a general surgeon do my surgery,mainly because i hadn't found this board at the time and i didn't know any better.I just wanted them gone.Is my chest beautiful,or even pretty?? No ,and you know what,at my age almost 72 i don't care.
Sure i cried my heart out when i first saw it,and i still don't like what i see,as i have what they call dog ears,and a lump in the middle,where i thought i was gonna come out of surgery looking like a boy.It's not perfect,but it's not cancer either.
I could still have plastic surgery and have it all fixed,but who wants to go thru surgery again based on vanity?? Not me.
The first week or so after chemo was hard,yet very doable.We just have to take this one day at a time.
These days i feel quite well except for some pain in my arms and hands,which i'm beginning to think is from the meds as lymphadema has been ruled out.
So ladies just hang in there,think positive,and keep a good attitude,as that's more than half the battle.
Good luck to all of you.
Kathi
0 -
I just love all yall already!! Im feeling so much better with the information and kindness im getting here. This has become my new face book.
I feel great knowing there are lots of you here to help me through this.Knowing that yall have been through before me or are dealing with it now makes it so easy to feel at home here. My sisters are the best they will always be here for me but i feel they really dont know how i feel so it helps to be with all of you. This year is not gonna be as bad as i first thought. Happy new years middles!!!!! Thanks for letting me be here. 0 -
I just love all yall already!! Im feeling so much better with the information and kindness im getting here. This has become my new face book. I feel great knowing there are lots of you here to help me through this.Knowing that yall have been through before me or are dealing with it now makes it so easy to feel at home here. My sisters are the best they will always be here for me but i feel they really dont know how i feel so it helps to be with all of you. This year is not gonna be as bad as i first thought. Happy new years middles!!!!! Thanks for letting me be here. 0
-
faith--Hooray for you! You are taking control of the situation, have found some positives, have a plan that seems to coever just about everything (even if not perfectly). I am proud of you and inspired by you! I had a uni-mast after radiation on August 15, 2008. I went back to work (teaching) on September 1st, 2008. Still had the drain in (had it for almost a month, but that was b/c of radiation). Some arm movement was uncomfortable for a week or two, then the most uncomfortable part was the drain. TIP: don't try to wear a bra or tight camisole over the drain site (where the drain comes out) because it will HURT! My first day at work I wore a gentle compression bra that I had been using for truncal lymphedema, put the drain bulb in the empty cup. Looked pretty good but boy, oh boy, was I in pain by the end of the day. That was the only time I needed pain medication after I left the hospital. I had no lifting restrictions after the first 2 weeks. The hardest part was not being able to take a shower until the drain came out (some surgeons allow showering with drains, others do not). I was carrying laundry baskets and hanging out laundry the second week. I was back to all my usual activities, lifting, etc, although with some stiffness and soreness, by 4 weeks. The lumpectomy/SNB was actually more uncomfortable during recovery.
cargiver: call your surgeon's office and ask them to connect you with Reach to Recovery, or contact them online. This organization connects women with a new bc diagnosis with other women in the area also diagnosed, often matching up surgeries, etc, for support. I've heard that they can be very helpful. I think you can contact them through the local YWCA, too, in some places.
kitty--I, too, had a general surgeon (with an interest in breast surgery) for my biopsy, lumpectomy/SNB and mastectomy. I live in a rural area where specialists are few and far between and I didn't have the presence of mind to even look for one after waiting almost 3 months to get in to see the surgeon. She is the most compassionate and caring doc I see, and I feel I have gotten excellent care from her. If you have easy access to a specialist BS, by all means arrange a consultation and see if you like and connect with him/her. It's more important, IMHO, that you feel the surgeon listens to you and you can talk to and understand the surgeon than to see a specialist for the sake of seeing a specialist.
Lydia--thank you so much for posting! It's been amost 3 years for me, and I really do feel "normal" most of the time, but I tend to forget that fact and focus on the reminders and procedures left to go. I need reminders like yours from time to time!
kathi-- thanks for reminding us that we have choices despite what the beast takes away from us. I don't like the way I look, but it is better than cancer. I am going to have reconstruction, primarily for the sake of vanity, but that's ok, just like your choice not to have recon is ol. There's no one right way to "have cancer" after all!
0 -
Welcome, Kitty and Caregiver. I am sorry that your new year is beginning in such an intense way.
Tip #1
I have a nice little binder in which I keep my path report, surgery paperwork, bloodwork reports, etc. I take it with me to all of my dr. appointments so any doctor can have the information from another. I have allowed several doctors to copy portions from it. When I told one dr. that I had 16 nodes removed, he acted as though I must be mistaken, so I pulled out my path.
Tip #2
When you have any bloodwork, mammo, MRI or and other test, add the names of all of each of your drs. i.e. Radiologist, Onc, GP, to receive the results, no matter which one ordered the test.
Tip #3
Have the business cards of each of your health care providers in you purse so you have phone and fax numbers handy.
Tip #4
When/If you go through chemo, it may affect your ability to remember ever the simplest things. Have a notebook, with an attached pen, with you at all times. If you need to remember something to do, or a date, write it down in this temporary brain. You will, however, need to remember to look at it.
Tip#5
It has already been mentioned, but a "Tape" recorder is great when you talk with a doctor. Some if not all, cell phones have recording capablities. I got a little voice activated recorder which helps speed things up when you are reviewing the recording.
Tip #6
Your doctors, surgeons and other health care providers work for you. Don't let them make you feel like you are not a pert of your treatment. You have the right to ask questions, and have them answered. A good doctor will answer your questions because he or she knows if they don't, you'll find another one who will.
I am sure there are many other tips for getting stared o n this journey on the right foot. So keeping asking questions here, and of your drs. Good luck.
Meece
0 -
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!!
Thanks so much women-of-wonder.
You all mean the world to me.
*****BTW: I know that I am in a cart & horse conundrum and am working to keep them from being tangled up..... but with my happy little life, and numerous flights on the calendar and speaking engagements around here & there, I have to be a tad overzealous in thinking thru/processing how this current story will unfold on behalf of the calendars & programs of others.
I am so grateful to everyone for your support and for sharing specifics as to surgery/recovery.
I am remembering to exhale. I am basking in a great sea of calm. (Yeah, I know you're all shocked. LOL!!) I think I've used these last 12 months to process this weekend at hand, if that makes any sense. I've already gone thru the denial, teeth gnashing, sobbing stuff -- lots of it last summer as I rode my bike those 827 miles.
So now I'm 'ready' and just wanna get 'er done.
I'm sure there will be plenty of sobbing at other junctures, but this morning it's all about calm.
And for that I say thank you to the angels who are supervising my growth and you friends for praying me into acceptance and maturity.
xx00xx00xx00xx
0 -
I'd like to add a few more:
Tip #8
Remember, it took years for the beast to get big enough to find. You have time to think. Make consultation appointments with at least 2 of each kind of doc you need to see. You are going to be spending a lot of time interacting with these docs, it's important to feel listened to, heard, and understood, as well as be able to talk to and understand the doc. Does the doc take time with you or does the doc seem rushed?
Tip #9
At each consultation check out the office systems and office staff as well. Do the receptionists sound pleasant or rushed? How easy/hard is it to get to a live person when you call the office? Is the waiting room crowded? Neat? Is the bathroom clean and well stocked? Look for attention to detail and an attitude of service. Ask other people in the waiting room how long they usually wait after their appointment time to actually get in to see the doc. Does the staff inform you of delays/wait times and give an explanation? A note here; a long wait may mean that the doc is taking time with each patient, which is a good thing. Not running behind does not mean the doc doesn't take time. Medical scheduling is far from an exact science and emergencies are always popping up.
Tip #10
Find out what happens if you need to talk to a doc after hours/during a weekend or holiday. How long does it take for the on-call doc to answer a call? How does the doc give test results back--by phone or in person only? What time frame? Can only the doc give results or can the staff answer questions and give results?
0 -
How I wish I had found this site sooner. I think those tips are good advice for starting the "journey." When I got here, my surgery had been done, but this thread and my "rads month" group helped me with the radiation portion. Did I ever thank everyone for that?
I know it's no big deal, but I am getting my first follow-up screening next Thursday. I found out that the way they will do it is get a mammo image from me, then make me wait there to see if I need more imaging or not. In other words, I don't get to leave unless I am all clear (or they find something and re-start the B/C cycle.) Talk about suspense!
With the slow growing cancer that I had, I really don't think anything will be found at this first interval BUT if there is something already, you know I'm gonna think that they missed getting it in the first place. That will not be a pleasant situation.
0 -
I don't mean to contradict you, NativeMainer, but not all cancers have been growing for years. It is amazing when you have an agressive cancer that you can almost see the growth changes, My cancer was just below the surface, and it was visible. If you can get the cancer type information from your initial biopsy, that can give you the timeline you have to work with.
0 -
elimar--I remember my first follow up mammogram. I was a total wreck. Starting crying in the parking lot. Crying so hard during the breast exam that the nurse had a hard time doing the exam. I wasn't told that I'd be getting "extra" views as a matter of routine, I was sure they had found something. I was hysterical by the time they were done and had printed the films for me to take to the surgeon's apointment a few hours later. The first one is hard, take someone with you if you can. If you have medication for anxiety use it--you will be surprised at the strength of your reaction.
meece--you are right, not all cancers are slow growing. I was "blessed" with a slow growing type, and I forget that others struggle with fast growing beasts. Certainly, if the biopsy shows a fast growing type you need to move as quickly as possible.
0 -
one more for me to add
Tip #11 - don't hesitate to talk to your dr. or report something to your drs. that you may feel is not right or if you don't feel like they are being professionals.
In that "binder" that Meece spoke about, I would suggest to document everything in that binder or on a sprial notebook, every phone call and who you spoke to, always get names (and a short synopsis about what was spoken about) if you do tape it, save the tape if you want but then type it out on the puter and put it in the binder....write down all drs. appts and then when you come home write something in there about the experience. Ask for all the records from every dr. that you go to you are entitled to copies of them.
sorry if I repeated anything.
Sandy
0 -
Here's something I was wondering about...do I only get the follow-up mammo on my surgery side, and if so what about "lefty?" My left breast had last screening in Aug. '08 (but then got roped in to the MRI that was done in June '09.) Do I just try to stay on a yearly pattern with my left breast?
0 -
I had a mammo on the "affected" side 6 months after lumpectomy, both boobs at 12 months after lumpectomy, then both boobs yearly until I had the mastectomy, then the remaining boob yearly. Different doctors have different protocols--I spoke with one doc that did 6 month mammos, yearly MRI, CT and PT scans on every one who had a lumpectomy. My BS and Med Onc say there is no real benefit to "routine" MRI, PT or CT scans for Stage 1 & 2, they only find problems a month or two before symptoms show up and don't change length of life after finding mets. Ask your docs what the recommended schedule is for your individual situation.
0 -
They wanted to do both of mine. Even though I've had a double mast. I wouldn't let them do my lymph node side. They were pretty pissy and said they do it all the time. I said that's fine for others, but I'm not doing it. I was sent for an ultrasound by my doc not a mammo and they were the ones who insisted on the mammo first!
I got the letter a month later saying my mammo was clear and to book another in two years! I don't even know if I'll be alive in two years. Idiots.
I used to go yearly due to "unusual architectural changes"...in other words, they watched my cancer grow. Now I go every TWO years. I don't think so. It's only because they couldn't get enough tissue into the machine from my mast side. Doi.0 -
Thank you all for the tips...keep them coming. It is really helfpul.
0 -
HI Kitty - It took about three weeks before I came out of that fog to even talk about it. However, PLEASE talk about it to someone-you need to cry and get it out b/c it is scary and awful. HOWEVER, it is absolutely survivable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not let your general surgeon do nything and infact if you live near a major Ca center go there FIRST. they have so much to offer. I live near Boston and folks who went locally instead of into Boston received really sub par care. My general surgeon who did my biopsy gave me so much misinformation that he had me basically dead in 6 months. Went into Boston and the breast surgeon told me w/ surgery and chemo/rads and tamox I had an 86% chance of non-recurrence!- COMpletely different! So remember you have time and get two opinions!!!!
Good luck and we hope we see you again! Love to you-Valerie
0 -
Wow! I might need more than one roll of that 2010 T.P. 'cause it only the second day of the new year and I've encountered more crap already. Today got a letter from my GYN; the PAP was "slightly abnormal." Letter reads, "this should not cause undue alarm," and advises a re-check in 6 mos. So, I'll just spend the next half a year with the appropriate "don't know if I'm growing more cancer" alarm that is due in this case, rather than the "OMG, I have cervical cancer" type of panic.
I kind of resent that I rarely do any pleasure reading anymore. Guess I'll Google about abnormal PAP now, and ask the GYN personnel for more lab info on Mon. I want to know what exactly they saw.
0 -
Elimar..I had an abnormal pap test once before BC. They repeated the test came back normal, but I didn't wait 6 months for it. Cant they do another one right away. And send it it to another lab? Anyway slightly or fully abnormal doesn't mean cancer. It could be so many other things or most of the time nothing.
My daughter used to get abnormal pap, she no longer gets it. Sometimes this crap BC changes so many things in our body, I meant all the treatments. You are on Tamox maybe that messed up the reading.
Couple years back they found something in my test they didn't say abnormal it was more like dry
you know what because of Estrogen deficiency. They gave me creams repeated the test again in 6 weeks everything was normal.
Ask your GYN if Tamox can change the result of the test.
I will look in my file see what they really said was wrong then.
If I find it I let you know.
Hugs
Sheila
0 -
elimar -
Sorry about the PAP smear drama. That's one thing about being middle-aged - it seems as though you morph into your "cancer scare" stage of life at times. I haven't had one in awhile, but for about five years or so it seemed like I'd never have any peace of mind again.
0 -
Well I think it stinks that your doctor sent you that information in a letter. Surely he/she knows about the BC; I think a phone call would have been in order and you have my permission to tell the bozo I said that when you call on Monday!
0
