MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
-
Good Morning my friends,
Welcome Jezza !
and Carcharm, I know all to well how knowing too much can be tough, I'm a nurse that lost a husband in 1998 to lung cancer. I know way too much about cancer, however when I was diagnosed it was easier for me than my fiance.
and Cindy, get out there and enjoy that sun, after not driving for 2 1/2 weeks yesterday I took my convertible out and it was a beautiful day ! I felt like just soaking it in every pore. I hope you feel better soon.
Enjoy your week-end friends,
Blessings all around !
Paula
0 -
Ok I am taking deep breathe before introducing myself......UUUUUUUUUH
Nov. 30/05 Found suspicious lumps (calcifications) in right breast
Dec. 1/05 Called family doc
Dec. 3/05 Saw family doc = he ordered mammogram and US - said it was not cancer.
Dec 17/05 First mammogram
Dec 20/05 Doc diagnosed breast cancer.
Dec 21/05 Breast US
Dec 25/05 Grandsons first Christmas (NO BC talk allowed)
Dec 27/05 Met with Surgeon
Dec 28/05 Met with Onco
Dec 31/05 My sister in law got married (that is why we could not tell family... did not want
to spoil the wedding.
Jan 11/06 Mastectomy (Quit Smoking)
Jan 26/06 Diagnosed with Stage four - bone and lung and liver mets
Jan 30/06 Told family about BC diagnoses.
I am 51 (was 47 when I started out). I am very high on the er/pr + (95%) and her2neg
I was originally diagnosed by oncologist to 9 months to a year. Well its been a swell up and down sort of life since then - 3 and a half years ago.
I am hoping that I will make a few more new friends. I already see some familiar faces.
My name is Regina and I have breast cancer.
0 -
Hi Regina,
Glad you are here, I was feeling very sorry for myself this am and reading your intro brought me back to reality. With tears in my eyes I am praying you find the support and humor and love here that I have. Hope you feel our arms around you for strength. Hoping that you continue to beat the odds...............
Blessings,
Paula
0 -
I hope everyone does their best to have a nice day and a
good weekend. We all have to remember that we are very
special and must be strong threw the fight. Welcome! All
new people, May you finded the peace I did on this caring line.
Take Care, Debbie PS Hi Dreamwriter glad you found this line.
0 -
Hi Regina, welcome to the "middle" I have seen you around on other threads. You my dear have been on quite the BC journey. I hope that this year is a good one and that everything remains stable for you.
0 -
What difference does the age make? I think its this disease that puts us all on equal playing fields. BC sucks at any age! I was 42 at time of diagnosis with small children. I think instead of being ageist we should all support each other from youngest to oldest. In actuality the younger the BC patient is the poorer the prognosis. SO how about some support from the older "more mature" woman that we all look up to. This disease has no age discrimination, neither should we!
0 -
Hello all, I am 40 about to be 41 but I do have a 5 year old. I was diagnosed in Aug. 2004 with stage 3 IDC, Supposidly (sp) did everything correctly and still had a reoccurance in Oct of 2008.
I am doing everything all over again to make this desease keep its head down and I hope and pray every day that I wont have to deal with this again.
ShellyJo I dont think anyone is trying to be ageist, its just that at different stages of your life this desease will effect you differently. and having someone near to the same age usually means they have some of the same issues.
0 -
Hello, ShellyJo, please read the final paragraph that sdavis has written above in response to you.
Now allow me to point out just a few things: I don't think there is a single person on this thread that does not support the struggles young women face with their breast cancer. If you have read my opening statement then you have read, "Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle."
I found this BC.ORG more recently than you, and what did I see:"Under 30 & would like to connect," and "Under 40 with young children." Those labels didn't quite fit me. I don't feel "Older," and maybe that's subjective. Whatever. Well, rather than go onto those threads and malign them for being exclusional or "ageist" I made a thread that fit my actual demographic.
You are welcome here, and one of my earlier posts made this point, "Hey you "middle-aged" women with small children --- yes, you do belong here! You can join the "Younger" thread as well. I heard they don't "card" you, and I won't tell."
If you have the time, read through ALL that has been posted here. I don't think you'll find that we are derogatory toward any group or thread. If you like the humor and support, please do come back. But next time don't bring the soapbox. I'm saying that in the kindest way that I can. If this is not for you, I'm sure you'll find a group that you are comfortable with. Either way, best health to you!
0 -
sdavis, tell more about your first diagnosis and what surgery/treatments you chose. Was your second a true recurrence on the same side, or was it the other breast? Sorry you got hit with it twice. That's my big fear, that I'll radiate myself, gobble the drugs for five years and STILL worry that it could come back. Sheeeesh!0
-
Wow...You have all been busy posting while I've been sleeping!! I'm not usually on this time of day as I work during the week but as its Sunday I have all the time in the world to read...and post..lol
I think its nice as well to have different sections for different age groups but of course everyone can read and post anywhere here....thats why I love the forum.
Thanks for the welcomes ...I have a cat as well (siamese) who rules the house!....and last night he peed on my son's pillow....first time hes done something like that so I hope its not the start of something! Mind you my son sleeps like a log so maybe he was trying to let him know he wanted to "go"!
Thanks for starting this thread elimar.
jezza
0 -
I clock off for a day & came back knowing this thread would be hopping & popping.
How loverly, loverly to see some of my dear ol' friends from other threads, discovering this new jem, too. Even more loverly is to find other brand new friends.
The entire day here has been a down-pour and never made it out of the 50's. August? Really???
I've shared my very thrilling news on a couple other threads, but those that know will probably forgive me for "tooting my own horn" and the rest of you don't know me well enough to be annowed yet.
I found out yesterday that I have a contract in the wings as collaborator on a lovely project for an educational publishing firm. They will combine my original recordings of songs for children, with the expertise of a dance professional -- who will write lessons to use with my matieral. How cool is that?
We've been discussing this possiblity nearly the entire length of my journey with BC. So I share it with you tonight, as a sort of "moral" victory. It's taken nearly two years to get this from the proposal stage to the acceptance stage. Probably an additional year to get it onto the shelf.
It is wonderful to have projects to anticipate. I do indeed celebrate the progress along the way.
I hope sharing it with you, my new friends, offers encouragement.
There are still plenty of aspirations waiting completion for each of us.
Here's to a fantastic journey together. Holding one another up when times are tough & celebrating each and every milestone along the way, that we can share.
xx00xx00xx00xx0 -
Elimar you don't have to defend the thread at all. Those of us posting here know there is no age discrimination going on, and that we "fit" here. I didn't see another thread where I thought I belonged either.
I'd like to add though, that different aged women DO have different concerns in general. What 20-something wants to read about the jeers us older ladies have? And how many of the "older" ladies want to read and respond to issues they've already faced outside of the advice for BC?
It's quite easy to avoid threads, and quite easy to join them as well. We ALL have one thing in common, Breast Cancer. We are all dealing with the diagnosis and treatments the best we can, why add drama to an already terrificly dramatic disease? Seriously!
Anyway...I hope everybody is making the best of their weekends. The sky here has been lighting up for a while now, and the wind is picking up, waiting for a thunderstorm. I like thunderstorms, but they just aren't the same here in the mountains as they are back home in MI.
5 weeks to hockey season, and I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!!
0 -
Faith, you were posting the same time as I, I missed your good news. Congratulations!!
0 -
Faith, That is wonderful news and I agree about having projects to anticipate. Do you sing, write the songs? I was in your neck of the woods yesterday and it was raining so hard when I started back to Cincy that I almost had to pull off the road.
Re the Ageist thing....I did not think it was discriminating in any way when I saw the subject, just was happy I made the cut ( am pushing 60) I think one thing we have all found is that breast cancer does not discriminate at all, it can happen at any age. However, the way we look at things and the way we are affected are definitely dependant on age. Soon I will be leaving this middleaged group and moving on up to "old"....hopefully. And to think back when I was in highschool I told my father I never wanted to get old!
Today was perfect weather in southern OH. Sunny, and no humidity and tonight is crisp and cool and perfect for sleeping with the windows open. That is what I plan on doing now. Pleasant dreams to all of you.
0 -
Elimar,
you were right on with your response, I agree whole heartedly. We have enough grief without making something out of nothing in re to : age.
Marybe,
don't think you have to leave us when you turn 60 ! I don't think anyone here will card you either
) You may have to drag me out of this thread kickin and screamin...........too many great ladies here !Enjoy the rest of the week-end ladies,
Blessings all around,
Paula
0 -
Paula..is that your grandbaby? How cute! And Marybe...who is that in your avatar?....Can't be you that lady looks about 25.
Makes my coffee cup look pretty boring. The steam at the top used to move but then they did something to the forum and it stopped....lol
jezza
0 -
There's a saying I love:
You don't stop dreaming because you grow old; You grow old because you stop dreaming.
I'm going to dream for a long, long, long time! I was devasted on Friday to find out we won't have the funds to finish our kitchen after refinancing as there was $3,800 worth of legal fees! Seems so petty in the big picture, but our kitchen has been torn up for quite a while and we stopped with my diagnosis as I'd need time off for surgery (double mast 2 1/2 weeks) and then I had another week off for my kidney and two of the kids got married this year at destination weddings (try that one on the "younger" thread!)! Very expensive year....sigh.
So anyway, the kitchen had become a mission. When I was diagnosed, my DH only got upset when I asked him if I'd ever see the kitchen finished...
So it has become somewhat of a carrot. It is OBVIOUS I want to hold a grandchild in my arms, but the kitchen is something that I should have had control of...sigh. I told him on Friday that he could finish it with my death benefits. 'm I bad? It was hard to let that dream go for yet another year....believe it or not, it's on my Bucket List on another thread! sigh. 0 -
Hi, I just got dx with DCIS grade 3 in May. Lumpectomy last week. Margins are only 2mm. I had a hard time finding a well respected surgeon who I also liked (i tried but due to vacations, and the one I chose then had a family death) I ended up with a well respected surgeon who I can't stand!! He give me no info, is cavalier, arrogant, etc. I feel that I am at the mercy of all doctors opinions WITHOUT them backing it up with the facts. I want to know, from them, the pros and cons of ALL my options.
I will be seeing the oncologist and radiologist on Tues that this surgeon referred me to. I will then get my own second opinions. Do I go back for a wider margin, do a mastectomy, take rads and tomoxifin? I read and read but there is no clear answer and I want a damn doc who will listen to me and really work with me and HELP me decide what I want.
I had been doing great up till now. I am startig to feel really down. I have been grateful for this Stage 0 dx, and my heart breaks and I am amazed by the strength of others. So I hate that I am starting to feel sorry for myself.
I am 59 and my only child just started college. She is living at home, but yeah, this was gonna be my time for me! I want to take the lessons from this experience to deepen my spiritual and emotional self, and I know that if I get stuck in depression, that becomes impossible to do.
Anyway, just venting, Thanks for listening.
Peggy
0 -
Peggy, it isn't the surgeon's job to help you make decisions....so take heart that your team will get you through. Hugs.
0 -
I'm 45 with a 16 year old. She just got her learners permit. I got car sick before chemo. Try driving lessons on chemo, yuck. She doesn't like when I lay around and sleep, it concerns her. Some of her plans for this fall had to be canceled because I just won't be able to help her with them. She took it very well. One issue was that she was planning on taking some college courses and apply them to high school credits. The community college accepted her and the high scool approved however, between me too sick to drive from chemo and the extra expense associated with cancer treatment, just cannot swing it. She would have had to only take 3 credits in her senior year and had 24 college credits graduating from high school. Oh, by the way, I am a single mom with no child support. I do have a good paying job. Hopefully this spring she is driving and can pick up where she was supposed to be this fall. A lot of people have offered to help, but you cannot ask to this extent.
I found that long distance walking helped to increase my engery and help my GI system.
Today we are celerbrating my father's 75th birthday.
0 -
I've been reading this thread, and I definitely fit the profile. I was diagnosed a couple of months after my 50th birthday, right after my Dad moved back into his own house an hour and a half away after staying with us for 9 months recuperating from being hit by a car. My daughter was in the middle of her senior year of high school, and so was my niece whose mother had passed away from BC 6 months earlier. I also have a 25 year old DS who lives at home.
It's been over a year, and I'm 51 now, DD will be starting her sophomore year of college soon, and Dad will be 88 in a few weeks.
We've put our dream of my husband retiring next year and building our dream house in North Carolina (hoping that the savings on instate tuition would offset the cost of the house) on hold for a few years. That private college tuition is just too much to do that and carry two houses too.
0 -
Jezza,
That is my Grandbaby the youngest.......Lincoln he was born 1 month before I got my diagnosis and lives in town, thanks goodness he was a great source of happiness to me during this past year. This is his Easter bucket on his head ! DOB May 2nd '08
Peggy,
Glad you sent me the PM You are in the right place ! this is a great bunch of Ladies all willing to listen and help. Hang in there !! Blessings to you.........
Sivanco,
Welcome and Happy Birthday to your Dad ! Let people help as much as they want sometimes that's the hardest thing to do.
PatMom,
Welcome, We really are the "sandwich generation" aren't we ? My parents both in their 80's and we ( fiance & I ) have 7 children, 11 Grandchildren between the two of us. One of my daughters is handicapped. Don't ya just feel like you've been spun around a few times and turned loose !
Oh and the rest of you ............. Good Morning, try to enjoy your Sunday !
Blessings all around,
Paula
PS sometimes it takes me so long to type that there are new posts up before I get done !
0 -
Jezza, yep that is me in the pic, BUT it was during the chemo and before I lost my brows and if you had a magnifying glass you could see the crows feet and wrinkles. I know it is a petty gripe, but I honestly think this whole chemo deal has aged me a LOT......I looked down at the skin on my arms one day and am sure I let out an audible gasp....some people refer to it a crepepaper, but my mother always called it chicken skin and that is what I call it....whatever it is very very old looking and reminds me of my grandmother's when she was about 90. Also I am not lying when I say I never had age spots on my hands, but I didn't and now I do plus they are starting to get some dark areas and I think that is from the warfarin. My skin is just soooo dry. I am amazed daily at how much I took for granted....hair, being able to taste food, good skin.
Barbe, I have a kitchen project also.....one that has been in the works for over a year . It is actually my Dad's house, the house I grew up in, that my husband I hope to move into one day when we go back to our hometown. The kitchen was very outdated and since my mother passed away 13 yrs ago, my father had done nothing to the house. He needed a bathroom on the lst floor so when we had that put in, it took one end of the kitchen so forced that project. We got new cabinets, fridge and dishwasher (my dad had one just sitting there growing mold in it that had not run for over two years), sink and fixtures......compromised on some things like formica instead of granite, vinyl tile instead of ceramic and I did some of the work myself, like spary painting the ceiling tiles ( it looks really good, like one of those old tintype ceilings, but they are acoustic tiles) and I painted the walls........now it is time for Phase 2 which is moving the new fridge to where the old stove is (it stuck out too far into the room where it is), installing a gas line and putting a new gas stove where the fridge was. and adding a few more cabinets. Catch is, I want one of those beautiful stoves that looks very Old World. I adore cooking so justified it with this, but they are really expensive. Last month we refinanced the house and that gave me some extra money ( this is my house....have only been married two yrs and my husband had his own house also which he rents out) so after paying off credit cards I still have stove money and am adding to it with the money I get from one of my jobs and even though I know it is crazy because I don't know how much use I will get out of this stove and it is selfish, I WANT THIS STOVE. I opened up an acct with a bank that gave you $100 for opening a new account and I am depositing all my stove money in there. My husband is helping with this project, paid for the labor the lst phase and also a lot of the supplies, but this stove is my baby. I had given up on it, but having the extra money from refinancing gave me hope again. Don't give up your dream........you WILL get that kitchen done one of these days. I love Lowes and Home Depot with their 6 month and even 1 year financing.......you can find good reasonable labor on Craigslist. There are ways. Sorry to get carried away, but decorating projects excite me.......especially kitchens. Building a home would be absolutely overwhelming for me with all the desicions involved so look at it this way Pat, by putting in on hold for a few more years you have time to finetune details.
Peggy, wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. I was not actually a stage yet with my first diagnosis, but I had a mastectomy since I really liked my surgeon and he said if it was his daughter that would be the way he would tell her to go....to get rid of it. The problem was I had some invasive as well as ductal cells, but the onco I saw gave me the option of not doing chemo and also we decided not to do tamoxifen since all of my nodes were negative that they tested, BUT somewhere one must have been floating around because 8 yrs later I was Stage lV. This is not saying it will happen to you, but I feel if I had done chemo or tamoxifen or something then it would not have recurred. Also I have heard that lumpectomies are as successful as mastectomies, it just depends on the tumor, patient, a lot of things. Sorry I can't be more helpful....just get all the info you can and weigh the options. I was very naive back then...did not know a soul with cancer, did not do any research and just went along with what my doctors felt best for me. I hope you find a caring as well as informative oncologist to help you with your decisions.
Sivanco, Maybe daughter can find someone else who is taking couses and ride with them? Don't be afarid to take others up on offers to help.....they would not offer if they didn't want to do it.
I hope you all have a great Sunday. We are having another beautiful day here......so what am I doing here on the computer!?! Well, I actually like spending time with you women. Or those people as my onco called you. He doesnt like the fact that I get opinions and now question him, asked Why do you talk to those people?...... but I really appreciate each and every one of you and am not going to give up the message boards. . I plan to still be posting when I am 60, Grandma and cooking on my new stove. Hope springs eternal. .
0 -
Hi gals,
Just reading through this post and thought I would stop in for a bit. I am 48 and have been on a whirlwind since February. Finding the lump, having MRI and Biopsy then having right breast removed with reconstruction at the same time. I had one lymph node with a .5cm tumour. So now I am on my second chemo treatment and struggling with constant hives.
Sometimes I wonder which is worse. It is nice to chat with others and follow their journeys as well.
Thanks for being here - Saskie
0 -
Good luck saskie, I will be praying for you. There are many good
people on this line that care alot, You will feel comfort. Sometimes
you feel like no one hears you, But alot of them do and care, God be
with you in your journey to get well again.To all the other wonderful
people on this line, Take care, I have alot of Dr appt this week for my cancer
so I might not see you as much. But take care, Hugs, Debbie
0 -
Wow, I wonder of any thread has exploded as quickly as this one has. We are a force!
Tomorrow I get my ovaries removed -- I hope and pray every cell in there is normal. Hold a good thought for me if you will.
0 -
Wow, I go offline for a couple weeks and bam! Great new thread! I feel right at home here. Haven't had time to read all posts yet, but those I have are great! Hello all!
You can read about my dx. below. Currently dancing with NED and plan to stay that way!
Hugs and blessings!
Lori
0 -
Well the thread has been busy again today, we all love to talk don't we. I have a little routine before I come here I get a diet coke tell my DH to not talk and I put on some music..I see that some of us are still on the BC Merry Go Round. I have to spend the whole day in Manhattan tomorrow to do pre-op stuff at Sloan. It would have been just the afternoon but gee they can't open the MRI CD so I have to have another set of mamograms. I think these institutions just don't play nice with each other and are a bit snooty about their "pictures"...well I don't like having anymore radiation thank you very much, so you can see I will probably be quite bitchy tommorow because they are robbing me of my sleep LOL and anyone who know's me knows that is a dangerous thing to do.
0 -
Glad to see this forum!!! I spent "parents night" at my daughers varsity basketball game thinking about the phone call from the radiologist - it is bc. Spent the following Monday at the breast surgeons office discussing my options - also my 48th birthday.
I had a mastectomy, with initial sentinel lymph node biopsy as negative, but then 4 days later was told I was positive after all. 2nd surgery and 2 more nodes were positive.
16 rounds of chemo - 4 adriamycin/cytoxin every 2 weeks, then 12 weeks of taxol. I was in a blind study for avastin - turns out I was getting avastin, and that arm of the study has me getting 10 more rounds of the avastin every 3 weeks. 2 down, 8 to go.
Didn't see many lobular breast cancer women here - sneaky cancer. Next year after I am healthy I am having the other breast removed. I wlll be nipple-less until then, and then after the surgery I will have the perky boobs of a 20 year old forever!!!
Last chemo was 7-16-09. Still having some side effects - neuropathy of the feet and hands, bad rash on arms/legs, peeling feet, nails falling off on toes. My taste has come back after 3 months of not tasting anything! Gained 15 lbs in the past 2 months due to steroids. Major hot flashes and nightsweats due to menopause. On effexor for that, along with the depression.
But........life is good, I wlll survive, and I have great friends and family. Plus my breast cancer forum...........nice to meet all of you!!!
0 -
Nice to meet you too Kathy and Saskie and others...hard to keep up!
Marybe..Drs DON"T like forums...lol
There was a link here ages ago about a survey that was done (I think it was in the British Medical Journal) and the results were how accurate the info on forums was! Most ppl are very cautious when they pass on info and if anyone gives out wrong info they are soon jumped on by others in the forums.....I've found that to be the case here.
If you like I could find the link and you could print it out for your onc...lol
Peggy.....hard to make decisions....run it past your onc..radiologist....your local DR..everyone! I'm sure with the help of your team you will make the right decision.
Oh and Marybe...go for the expensive stove.....the one I have now is on its last legs and I have only had it about 8 years....the trouble with stoves is that you don't know how good they are until you use them and you don't use them until you have paid the $$'s!!
jezza
0
