MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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good morning ladies, I am having my usual insomnia
so been checking out this thread, good idea! I am always on the edge of the age groups, 52 when dx with bc, so not young and 57 now and not old! I do enjoy the older ladies thread, has helped me alot when I am frustrated with my caring for my Mom. This week is getting my second grader (raising grandaughter, her mom is bi-polar) ready to go back to school. I'm kind of looking forward to that! Wishing to all that are in treatment now that the time passes swiftly. 0 -
Susan...you really have your hands full, My adopted daughter has mental problems as well unfortunately hers were caused by drugs....
A second grader would be exhausting.....does her mum live with you as well?
Glad you have found the group....its only 5.30 in the afternoon here so I will normally be around when you can't sleep!
jezza
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I may peek in here at times because I am 42 and that means I am in this category.. and everything you say applies to my life other than that I am done with my treatment now. I got BC when I was at the worse point in my life with a 11 month old baby girl with special needs.. eeewwww I was 29 then and that dis qualifies me. Still I think it is good enough to peek once in a while.............
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Good morning Insomniacs and Internationals!
I'm going to begin with an apology, a pre-emptive one, because by the end of Sept, you will probably be sick of me saying how much I hate my radiation. (The only thing that is actually bothering me from it, after just a week, is that my failed Contura scar--that looks like a bullet hole-- hurts and itches.) I know it's all going to get worse before it gets any better. BUT when I read the forums, I know so many others have endured that AND WORSE that I feel like a big cry-baby.
So please let me say what I have been thinking for weeks: I am just IN AWE OF THE WOMEN here that have been through so much more than me. You are giving me a reality check, a perspective, and a good example of how to be stronger than that stupid cancer. Forgive my dramatic blubbering. I'm not saying it's going to stop, but you can rest assured I'll give myself a sharp slap if it really gets out of hand.
Thanks ALL for sharing your stories.
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Took me awhile to catch up this am. Worked all weekend, but not complaining in this economy. (yes, I am a nurse too).
Jezza, could not make it thru my day without coffee although it was iced today.
Elimar, if it makes you feel better to talk about your rads-go for it. We will help you through it. Sorry I can't specifically help since I did not experience. I will admit that now I have a couple of months free from appts and I wake up so grateful for it.
Here's hoping for a great day for all of us. Casey
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Marybe,
Perhaps your Dr. feels threatened by you getting info from others, You must admit we all know something he doesn't...............we know what it actually feels like to have breast cancer ! We are going through various degrees of tx.
I was soooooo lucky to have a surgeon that was like a teacher, super great guy that from day one explained everything as we went along. He never left the room if he thought either of us had a question that was not answered. He would draw out on a form all the options after my biop came back. With each option, what would be required as follow-up and what the % of survival after 5 yrs. My son-in-law was just starting his Radiology Residency in San Antonio. My Dr. made copies of everything to send to him, so he could follow what we were doing.
Welcome all new friends so glad you found us
Everyone having tx and test this week we are all thinking of you and praying for good results. I think I am finally starting to get on the upside of healing this dang incision. I go back on Friday, I'm hoping to be 100% better by then.
Have a good Monday Ladies !
Blessings all around,
Paula
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elimar,
you crack me up ! I felt the same as you yesterday. It is very humbling to be on this site with some of these Ladies that make me look like such a wimp ! Including you ! I didn't have to do Rads. Babble ALL you want ! if it weren't for you none of us would be on this thread
) Thanks for that. We're with ya sister, hang in there.Love the Insominacs, and Internationals as you put in your intro, I laughed because there were times I'd get on when I couldn't sleep and would be glad to see I wasn't alone.
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hello to all, love this thread and can't believe how its grown so quickly.
elimar to answer your question I was diagnosed in Aug 2004, I found my own lump while in the shower and immediatly saw a doctor ( next day) mammo and ultrasound the same day. Surgeon the next week. Turned out there were two lumps. One 4.7 the other 2.1 My surgeon said they were non cancerous and he would just removed them to make me feel better. My response was a resounding "Hell yes take them out." After surgery while still in recovery the surgeon came to my bedside and told me that he only took the smaller tumor and a piece of the big one as it wasnt cancer anyway and he didnt want to make a mess of my chest. I was so very angry. two days later I was sitting in his exam room half naked when he informed me that I did have cancer and he would need to removed it all after all. I actually didnt even hear half of the conversation my mom says I was actually fairly polite. One week after the first surgery I had a modified radical mastecomy. They found 1 node involved, I truly feel because that damn tumor had been open in my chest for a week. I had 4AC and 4T reconstuction and 2 years of Tamoxifen, which i stopped due to side effects. In Oct of 2008 I found a lump on top of my implant. It was long and narrow. looked like a welt but was very hard. In the two weeks it took to see the surgeon (new one this time of course) it doubled in size. A piece of the old cancer had resurrected. Pathotholgy came back as matching cells to the origional cancer. Oh and I have to say with the new lump my oncologist who was the first person I showed it too he said "dont worry I see these all the time and they are nothing" Boy was he wrong. I have had 6 TC and 33 Radiation this time. No reconstuction this time I will stay flat thank you. What if the tumor had been under my implant? I am just starting 5 years of Ameridex and a whole lifetime of hoping that it never reappears again.
Moral of the story Trust your gut not the doctor. I truly think my cancer came back because it wasn't taking out in that first surgery.
I am doing FINE now. My best friend tells me that fine means Frustrated Insecure Neurotic and Exhausted. yep that fit me to a T for a while. Anyway the second time around you dont care as much about the hair loss you worry more about how your family is handling it. I am not sure why I got to take this ride twice. I am hoping it was to save someone else from having too.
Sue
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sdavis You are one tough woman.Mind you we all have to be no one gave us a choice. You are so right about trusting our instincts and that goes for everything we are facing in life. Hang in there ladies.
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Wow! With the spiraling vortex of the beginning of the school year whirling around me, I'm having a hard time keeping up with this ridiculously active thread! Too many things to respond to, and unfortunately, my short term memory was damaged during childbirth years ago and completely ruined by Tamoxifen... Still, even though I retain next to nothing, it's good to read the posts. Still feel a little uneasy about my 46 year old self scrolling down to the "Young Women with Cancer" forum...
I will say that Jezza, it's better to have a cute coffee cup avatar that no longer steams than to be avatar-less as I am...
Also - I loved the idea of writing a country song with all of the tragedy, but I'm thinking that banjo is not the right instrument, although I'm amused that you have one. The banjo is for happy music only - are you not familiar with Steve Martin's riff on that topic?
Hope everyone is having a lovely day!
Coleen
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Hello to all, went back to work today, felt good to see everyone but am really tired tonight. I am glad I am going back part time at the plant and part time from home.
Elimar- Completed Rads last Wednsday, I was crispy on the outside but tender on the inside! It is healing quickly I am glad to say! Do not miss the rads or the long round trip to treatment, still have bouts with fatigue but it is getting better, now if I could only sleep, complain away we are here for you.
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Good one, carollynn79! Was your Radiation Oncology in a small red and white building, and did the doctor like to be addressed as "Colonel?" I'll have to ask my techs if they can just do "original recipe" radiation on me.0
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Good afternoon all
Sue-Always trust your instincts. I went through so many tests after my diagnosis of Paget's. Ultrasound, Mammogram, MRI and MRI guided biopsy. None of the tests showed any cancer in the breast tissue. I went drastic and told the surgeon to do a Bi-Lateral Mastectomy. I wanted the cancer out and I wanted to move on, and not have to do all this ever again. He was extremely supportive. Said my request was completely reasonable. Pathology found DCIS! I am so relieved that I did go drastic, as I have now avoided doing a lumpectomy and having to go back under for mastectomy, or lumpectomy with radiation.
Elimar-I personally don't think you are being weak or a cry-baby. Aren't we all here to support each other? I got a good lashing for stating that I have not had to suffer as greatly as others on the board. I was told we are ALL suffering from breast cancer. Even Barbe got in on that one and showed me up!
To the newcomers...Welcome to the middle age thread!
I did my first full day at work today. I was ORDERED to sit down and tell others when I had something for them to come get, instead of walking paperwork around. I am exhausted, but so glad I could make it through a full 8 hour day. Next goal, a full week.
Everybody have a Marvelous Mondy!
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Jezza, I did have some printed info when I went to see him, but he just glanced at it and handed it back to me. I can tell by the way my friends look at me that they feel I should keep on doing whatever he tells me to do since he has taken such good care of me for the past 11 years. It's not that I doubt him, I just do not want any more neuropathy.
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Hi all...One step ahead of you...Happy Tuesday! I was on chat here one night and a lady said that at school ..you know there were always rumours that the world was going to end that day? (well there were at my school as well!).
Anyway she had a teacher who said to her...that is not going to happen cos its already tomorrow in Australia!
Congrats, Carollyn and msroulette on your return to work...thats great to hear.
And sdavis....I'm feeling F...frustrated I...insecure...N...neurotic E...exhausted.....FINE!
Do you mind if I steal that for the Aussie Forum? I'm sure lots of girls there are feeling fine...lol
hugs
jezza
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Jezza,
Had a quick look around....definately is Tuesday and also Spring. Used to think that would be great but that means summer is coming. I don't think summer and hot flushes mix do they???
Hugs
Viv
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Jezza, I want to borrow that F I N E word. I have colon
dr tomorrow and cancer dr coming up. I have been having
trouble with my breathing and coughing. But Life goes on.
And I hope to get some answers. Take care, Footprints
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FPAngel, Hope you not only get some answers, but some good ones, My cardiologist thinks my shortness of breath and cough my be related to a change in my pulmonary veins from chemo which would also contrubute to my edema.......will let you know after more tests are done. Good luck with your appt. Marybe
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Oooooh, our poor Aussie friends! You are correct in wondering about the impact of summer on hot flashes. They do mix, unfortunately, combining into impressive waves of impressively sweaty personal heat. It has been a very "flash-y" summer here in Texas for me, my first one while enjoying Tamoxifen. It was especially hideous when the humidity was high. A friend has a small air conditioner in her bedroom, blowing cold wind directly into her face, and she was significantly more cheerful all summer than I was. I'd look into strategies for keeping cool NOW, while you enjoy your Spring.
I can't wait to tell my oncologist's P.A. that I am feeling F.I.N.E. I suppose you have to say it with an "edgy" sort of attitude. Sadly, I probably can't muster as much edgy attitude as my lovely middle-schooler. I think I over-taught sarcasm in her case...
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good morning from beautiful Central New York, is 53 degrees out and 60 inside the house, hubby took Rosaleigh to the hardware store so I just turned the fireplaces on
these old bones can't take the cold and a bubble bath is in order bigtime ! hope everyone has a calm day, and appointments go well. Jezza, my bi-polar Kate, has had drug problems also, I feel self medicating , she moves in and out with her 2 year old son whenever she and babys father have a fight,(I keep Rosaleigh with the blessings of her Dad) she just moved out again 2 months ago. She has some serious issues , tries to get help, today her gyn is giving her a shot to put her into menopause (she is 27),God only knows what that is going to do to her mentally, I am scared. 0 -
Good Morning all.................
Still reading about what all is going on with everyone. Praying for a good week of appts. test ect. You all are always on my mind.
Blessings all around !
Paula
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Good morning all,
I just found this thread this am. Read through quickly, trying to stay away from the "cat fights" I've been seeing on some of the other threads, and this looks likes a bunch of caring "middle aged" women that are just looking to & for support. Just what I've been looking for!
I am 55, just dx'd in March. I had a total mast., am doing CMF, start my 3rd round tomorrow, and so far have found it isn't as bad as I expected. The weird thing for me is that I chose to not have reconstruction, have healed, have a rx for foobs, and still can't decide if I want them! I am throughly enjoying not wearing a bra! I had heavy, dense breasts before. They were irritating in hot weather, and I was chaffed on the underside most of the summer. I still feel a little self conscious being 250 pounds and flat as a pancake. I can't find clothes that are very flattering, however I'm just not sure I want to deal with them again! Also, as I have healed, I'm noticing I get the feeling that my nipples are hard when the wind blows, or it is cooler! Anybody else experienced this?
No question that humor has been a major help in getting through this. I work with a bunch of women that weren't very comfortable with my dx until I started joking about it as much as possible. I believe people just don't know what to say, or how to react unless I make an effort to make them more comfortable, which in turn makes me more comfortable.
I've also found that my 3 month old grandson, living with us (my daughter is in college) is keeping me young! What a joy! I can be dead tired after a day of work and chemo, go home and hold the baby, and all my cares seem to melt away (temporarily at least!).
I'll quit rambling now!
Great thread - keep it up!
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Weldcome dswope, all love and support here on this thread! I know what you mean about your grandson, my first grandson, Sebastian, was christened this past weekend and I was in heaven holding him and having my whole family together. These are the important things,
In sisterhood, xo
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Deb, I too, feel the sensation of nipples hardening and I have none! I was wondering on the Mojo thread where all those wonderful sensations during sex went...I mean, the nerves have to end somewhere...don't they? (oooooo, is that my toes tingling?
) I have not done recon and have no plans to. I am very comfortable in my decision and only think of it when I get dressed, then I don't care. If I have to deal with a flat chest, so does everyone else around me!
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It's a real treasure to read glimpses into the lives of so many. Putting my concerns into perspective has been one of the greatest assets of BCO.
Hugs and encouragement to all in need of either.
I took another yoga class today & our instructor is a BC survivor & 7 years since dx. She is a sprite 63 years old, sporting bionic boobies and has more muscle per square inch than I can imagine. What a role model for me!
There are examples all around us of victorious women who are living large, impressive lives.
Here's to meeting more of them.
xx00xx00xx00xx
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I just found this thread and read through all the posts. So many different stories, but so much the same too. I was dx at 56 after finding a lump myself. That one was only the beginning though because the "bad" one was only visible wtih MRI. After lumpectomy with nodes out, they couldn't get all the margins so tumor board recommended Mx. I thought why would I want to do this again so opted for BLM with expanders. My exchange to silicone implants was in December 07. They've always been rippled, with some "pokey" spots and the R one is too far toward my armpit so I wanted a revision. It's only taken a year, but my insurance finally agreed so that's coming up October 8th. I cant wait! Except today during "power half hour" weight class at the gym I was thinking I'm finally back in shape and now I'll have to take it easy again. That first week after my Mx ws the hardest, couldn't go to work, could only walk so walk I did! Other than that, I haven't been off work except to take the day off for appointments because I go all the way to SF from the foothills of California. I manage a youth program which is a busy job but I can flex my time. DH and I have been married for 37 years and we have 2 daughters, age 33 and 31 plus 2 grand-dogs.
I'm excited to have a "home" for us women who don't feel old, don't want to feel old, and don't plan to feel old!
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Deb- I hear ya- just wanted to chime in and let you know that I also am 250 and flat. No recon and no plans to. Do not have an rx for foobs.. not sure i want them anyway. I know what you mean about the clothes. It has been a true challenge. I have bought lots of layered shirts, tanks and shirts ect...but i for one am looking forward to cold weather and bulky sweatshirts, turtlenecks and all the clothes that will hide the belly a little better. I have to admit I have considered looking in the maternity section!!! Then i changed my mind.
I have been trying to keep up with everyone...Best wishes to all of you (like me) that have grandbabies living in the house as well as their adult(or semi-adult) parents...You ladies that aren't will have to tell us what empty nest is like so we can dream.....
Have a great Wednesday tomorrow.
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Hi again esp. to the new ppl! We are supposed to be having a really hot summer again and I am NOT looking forward to it! Hi Vivvy!
Susan_CNY...I see we have a LOT in common unfortunately. We have no contact with our daughter after trying to help her for years. She is also 27 with a baby....you can only do so much ((((hugs))) to you.Why is she having a shot to put her into menopause?
Well done ..gymgirl ...I used to go to gym regularly but I now work every day and I really haven't got the energy to go to gym as well. I do try to walk a lot...not the same I know...
Welcome dswope...lets hope we can keep this a "cat fight free zone"...lol
And you too bettysgirl..another one with a busy household.
Hoping for good results for those having tests.
hugs
jezza
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Aussie girls prepare for your own personal heat wave...I found I had to give up my huby for the summer, he said only penguins could live in our bedroom! If I didn't have the ac on at 65 degree's I couldn't sleep, and no hot coffee either that would really bring on the flashes. Hope you find it more pleasant than I did and our summer wasn't even very hot here on the east coast.
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Rads #8 -- Maintaining
My last few radiations have been uneventful. Remember my freakout last week that 20% of my lung was getting zapped? Well, I found out today that the doctor has minimized that to 12-13% now. Good thing I spoke up when I did, I don't think he would have altered it on his own. Plus, it was only the first 3 days that it was hitting the 20%, so I feel like I really may have spared some good lung.
SOME ADDITIONAL INFO.about Rads. & Hormonals:
I asked the doctor if I shouldn't have started on the hormonal drugs first (because I was thinking that any cancer cells displaced during my biopsy & surgery could be circulating elsewhere RIGHT NOW in my body & don't we want to get after those quickly?) He gave a good answer. Because the hormonals (at least Tamoxifen) have the effect to stop the growth phase of cancer, you do not want to have them in your system before or DURING radiation because radiation works on the cancer cells that ARE growing. Makes sense to me, and yet I have seen women posting about getting Rads & Tamoxifen simultaneously. Is there another line of thinking on this? (Not to be confused with chemo, which always seems to be done first.)
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