MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Macatacmv- That would be great if you stopped in for a coffee and pastry once I am up and running.
Dragongirl- sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend in February and it's hard.
Nativemainer- I got that dam lab report and started working with Mr. Google on it. My Alkaline Phos. are 146 and according to this report anything over 136 is high, but if you go on other sites they say normal is up to 147. I have also read that you need to fast prior too and I did not (I had a blueberry muffin) because I didn't know she was doing the test. The other 2 things that are in the abnormal row are Liver 1 (70.9) and Liver 2 (7.4). Not sure what it all means, but they are not that far off the normal as far as I can see. I also take 40 MG's of Imipramine at night to prevent occular migraines. I read that it too can raise liver enzymes. I still get the dam headaches so maybe she needs to find something else for me and get off from those. I don't take any cholesterol meds. I am not going to stress over it. I have my surgery on the 5 and she will re-check it a couple weeks after that. I will fast this time though. My daughter is an ER nurse and had a girl hysterical after they told her she was pregnant. She said it wasn't possible. Sure enough the lab tech made a mistake.
Ok, it was 37 degrees on my way to work this morning. This is crazy. They are saying 70's by Thursday. We are going to have to hold that weather guy to it.
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Welcome, DellasHJ! I have to point out that when you are posting on a new thread, take a look to see if you are on the current page. (Hope you get to this page to read my welcome and my tip.) You wrote to cmharris59, but she has not posted on here for about three years! Anyway, while you might not have real life support, you have come to the right community to meet with LOTS of others who are more than happy to give info., support and who "get" what B/C is doing to you. Are you on different hormone drugs now? When you get a chance, maybe you can fill in your diagnostic info. in your profile. That usually helps others write a more specific answer to your situation.
This is just a hunch...I bet every last one of you are having "weather" this weekend. Goes without saying. Once someone mentions their sunny day, darn if six others don't feel compelled to report their weather. I try to lead by example and never even mention when I'm in a tornado watch box (and that's like 52 times a year.) As I have tried to explain, the social convention of talking about weather is, to me, a way of relating at the lowest common denominator of things that people have in common. Since we are all WOMEN, all MIDDLE-AGED, and have BREAST CANCER, I would think that would be enough in common to keep us going for a good long time and not even have to bring weather into it.
There's a big difference if someone on this thread is in the path of hurricance Sandy or something, but other than that, the daily reports are just filler and I ask you, on a thread of 800+ pages, do we really need additional filler? However, for those hardcore weather-lovers out there, there is a spin-off thread hosted by our own lovely Meece...
Don't be fooled by the title. You can post all your sweltering summer temps there as well. Enjoy!
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elimar...And you my dear are hilarious. Enjoy your evening ladies.
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Well middies - seems we have been scolded - lol
Thanks for getting us back on track Eli. What would we do without you?
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And a warm welcom to DellasHJ. You have found the most wonderful cyber support group around for caring, sharing, learning and encouraging. Lots of support to be found from everyone here. Hope you decide to hang out with us.
As you may have notice already, any talk about the weather will earn one a rather firm scolding from our fearless leader Elimar. Fear not - we do find LOTS of other topics of interest. Some related to bc - some not so much.
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I'm not ruling out my peevish nature, but I mainly scold to do like you said, keep us on more stimulating topics and if it ain't cancer then the random craziness of everyday life is always a winner with me.
And bragging is o.k....for example, I walked four miles at a nearby lake today. Woo-woo! But keep it real too...because the last 1/8 of a mile was a steep hill and I had used up my energy, I made my husband go for the car while I waited on a nearby rock to get picked up. I'm having my "good spell" this weekend, with my next round of chemo coming up on Tuesday, due to holiday. I had some ice cream, and although it doesn't cause the pains at this point, cold stuff still makes my throat feel funny like it is closing up a little.
I DO hope everyone gets a chance to enjoy some outdoors activities this weekend.
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Wow, Elimar! That is a big WOO-WOO! I couldn't even do that now - I have to go see my knee doctor this week because something hurts.
We were invited by my ex to go out on his boat tomorrow with 2 million other people, but we declined. If everybody else is there, that's where he wants to be. Me, I head in the other direction.
I'll probably just have a cookout and invite my brother. His son is training to be a Navy pilot about 6 hours away and his son said, "No, don't come see me. I have other plans." Haha, it gets to the point that our kids kick US out!
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!
Especially to all of our veterans, past and present.
"Standing Guard"
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Sorry about the misunderstanding and my posting. I am never sure what to do where on here. LOL Why hasn't she posted in three years? Does anyone know?
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DellaHJ, some gals drop off after treatment because they want to leave BC in the rear view mirror. Some people "lurk". They look & read, but don't continue posting. Some of us enjoy the on-line friendships, the banter, the info, the humor & we stay around. Some pass away & we wouldn't know unless they were pretty closely involved in a thead or 2. As far as posting, just look at the top of the thread page & see if there are more pages to go to (right now - this says I'm on page 814 & it's the last page # listed) sometimes when I go onto a discussion it will be on page 117 & I'll see that the thread is up to 119 meaning I've got some reading to do. But no worries, just jump on in!!
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Not that I'm a procrastinator or anything, but I finally planted my flat of flowers that I received from my DD for Mother's Day. Have just been busy or lazy, a bit of both I would admit to. And you know, it felt so darn good to play in the dirt again. I have a rather large flower bed at the back of my property that I used to keep up with regularly before my dx & for reasons I have yet to figure out yet, have not been interested in much since. Thank goodness perenials take care of themselves for the most part. I don't mind if they spread, never have. BUT, there are some weeds that have invaded the area. They love the sifted black dirt, too, I imagine. (if I were a perenial, I guess I would to!!)
Does anybody else have something they were more interested in before dx & are not so much after dx?? Or am I the only one with this affliction??!!
Enjoy the holiday tomorrow everyone!
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Hello Dianarose, I am new to the forum just joined the other day. I too am worried about my long term use of xanax. It doesn't put me to sleep anymore, but if I don't take them the anxiety gets overwhelming. I have seriously thought about cutting back gradually. They say you should go down in half steps every two weeks. So, if you are taking .5 every night, then go down to .25 every night for 2 weeks, and so on, till you can go off them without withdrawal. I am afraid that when I need them again for my reconstruction they won't be of any help.
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Wow,elimar!! Barely made this thread, I just turned 60.LOL!!! BC was my 60th birthday present. Actually was diagnosed on Feb 26th and my 60th birthday was March 9th, 2013. So true about many things that you stated. Husband took off 6 years ago with a woman 20 years younger after a 30 year marriage, kids are grown, finally paid off over $40,000 in debt left over from the marriage. Got a great job--making a great salary. Living alone and independently. And to top it off, I finally bought my dream car an ATS Cadillac, 2013. Then, Bam!!! On a general yearly mammogram--I am told I have cancer--two types and need a mastectomy. Okay--there goes my independence, my financial freedom and my mind!!! Well- not quite my mind--I am still holding on to it barely. Love this site--it keeps me centered. I find people that are like-minded. Got to the point I was tired of everyone at the job and my church worrying about me and forever asking how I am doing. So-- I have been staying away from most. Couldn't even work my job for the last couple months after the mastectomy. Okay, I know I sound like I am venting--but could some one have told me how bad this reconstruction process is--or maybe it is just me. Well, on the good side--love this site. I can cry, laugh, get mad, feel sorrow, or feel joy--there is alway support. Love this site!!
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Goldie4040, I've been on Xanax for about 4 years before my BC for anxiety. Although, I have been prescribed to take 0.5 mg twice a day, I had been getting by with taking only one tablet--all these years--just at bedtime. Since the BC surgery, one doesn't seem enough. Anxiety and depression are often a bigger problem for me now and I find it hard to sleep most nights or days. So, I have had to bump it up to the two that had first subscribed. I was wondering if the the increased depression and anxiety were a side effect from the hormone therapy. Just wondering???
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Welcome Goldie4040 and Dwilli4483 - really don't like having to welcome newbies due to the nature of this forum. But would rather you be here than have to go it alone.
Dwilli - venting is one thing that we all need to do and this site is a safe place for one to let it all out. I chose not to reconstruct but have heard that it can be troublesome/painful at times. Hoping that it gets better quickly for you.
We middies sure like to have fun but also can be serious and informative about many different topics. Stick around for lots of support, information, encouragement and fun!
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Hey ladies!!! I am so sorry that there are still so many going through this horrible experience! I know it has been three years since I posted.. I I honestly didnt think I would be missed... Nice to know that I was... lol
A lovely lady PMed me and got me thinking I should check in. Honestly, I still get so angry that I wasn't sure I could be of any help to anyone. Being alone and disabled thanks to the chemo has made me an unhappy camper. BUt if I can answer any questions , feel free to ask or PM.
DellaHJ:
I took some anti-depressants, but had horrible side effects. Talked to a psychiatrist until my insurance ran out. Still do not have breasts done... yep 5 yrs and counting.. still walking around with a tissue expander on one side and poor lonely breast on the other. Had to change surgeons last year and now trying to get money saved to afford the surgery to finally get them done. Hard to get it done on Medicare. long story.... My surgeons started out being pretty good , but failed in the long run... I still have bouts with depression.. more often than not.. Frankly, if it weren't for my cats, I don't think I would have lasted this long. This has been a long and painful journey.
I certainly hope that you ladies are managing the journey better than I have.
C
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Happy Memorial Day !!!
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Wow! cmharris59!!! It is good to hear from you. I remember that there were difficulties in getting your recon. and I can't believe you are still toting around your tissue expander after all this time. On the up side, now at 5 years, with HER2+, it is looking more and more like your B/C is a thing of the past. The other thing I remember about your posts was that you did belly dancing (well, the little picture reminded me.) Do you still?
Hi goldie4040, I don't use Xanax, but as a believer in less is more as far as drugs are concerned (and my liver concurs,) I always try to cut back to the lowest effective dosage. Maybe something over-the-counter (like melatonin) would help with the sleeping. If you do use something else for sleep, make sure to check the interactions. I like the Drugs.com website.
Dwilli4483, welcome! You need to return that birthday present! You sure don't look 60 by the way. My hormonal drug was Tamoxifen, but yes, I would say the hormonals can make a person feel moody and depressed. Although look at the changes you had to go through...and now it seems like you are kind of isolated. That can realy wear you down, happiness-wise. I hope as you get a little further out from the treatment, things will get back on track, but you might still have to deal with the well-meaning, yet annoying co-workers. BTW, as far as this thread goes, no requirements about holding onto your mind. If there was, we'd only have about nine people who could still post here (and no, I am not including myself in that nine.)
barsco1963, Once again you have done a wonderful job of greeting the Newbies. You are now the unofficial, official greeter!
Val, With chemo brain, who can remember what they were even interested in. (Joking.) I don't know. My interests seem the same. I used to like to cook more. I don't know if B/C took that away, or if I'm just tired of doing it for decades. I'm even worse now that my current treatment makes so many meals seem disgusting. My husband has been handling most of it, and has come to learn that even if I make the comment of "that doesn't look very good," I'm going to sit down, eat it, and usually finish by saying it was tasty. Food and I are having a big disconnect lately.
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Well... as you can imagine, I have not been happy with my docs. They will not say NED.. esp. since I had to stop treatment early.. Herceptin was a big NO-NO with my congestive heart failure. We discussed the blood tests and I was told they were hit or miss and not reliable , so I don't have them anymore.. cost prohibitive. Docs tell me that I am never gonna be free of the BC, isn't that refreshing? I need a new onc but in this small town I have to take what I can get... and with my insurance , not many options.
I don't dance much because I still have too much pain from neuropathy plus the heart condition and asthma have really slowed me down.. I try periodically, but I have lost a lot of muscle tone... down to 120lbs.. so my muscles have taken a major hit.
I stayed away from boards because I was afraid that my negative attitude would be too much. And honestly , hurt to see others managing better than I did. It has been almost 6 years since my dx and honestly not feeling much better about it than I did in beginning... Too much loss...
Still trying to hang onto my sense of humor but it is there by a thread... lol I need something stronger.. maybe fishing line? Anyway.. good to see that some of you are still able to give hope and comfort to our sisters with this horrible disease.
C
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cmh, my B/C is on a back burner now because I got a new primary only it was colorectal cancer. I didn't have chemo with my B/C, but now I'm getting to see how the other chemo half lives, and I don't like it one bit. Due to my new ordeal, I lost 13 lbs. and I am not even filling out my skin! I like to say "cancer supermodel" but that's only going to happen if saggy, baggy skin becomes the new hotness by some freakish miracle. I still feel well-versed in B/C and feel I can offer hope to most, and humor to all.
A note on losing muscle mass: After all the damage and trauma of surgery, your muscles actually break down to release their protein so that your body can use it in the areas that need healing. (I did not experience this with my lumpectomy, but I bet this happens if you get the more extensive Mx surgery. I noticed it after the robot got done with me for the CRC.) Until you are finished healing, it is hard to get your nutritional protein to build the muscles back up, because all that you eat goes to the healing as well. Even tho' I know this, I am impatient (and flabby.)
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Funny-because I was diagnosed under age 50/ premenopause I've considered myself "young" with BC, not middle-aged! More denial. !
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Hi, jessica749! You will have to juggle both of those labels because that is considered on the young side as far as B/C is concerned. But as for the Middle-Aged label, well, we all have our own yardsticks that we measure that by. I'm not a granny yet, and I did do a few cartwheels on my last birthday, but I just don't feel like I can pull off "young" anymore. My recent weight loss has also added more wrinkles to the mix. Aarrrrrgh!
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Jessica: I , too , felt young and not middle aged... still do sometimes... I was 48 at time of dx and in great shape .. I thought.. very active and happy ... felt like I was still in my 20s and 30s.
Elinar: So sorry to hear of new primary C.. my primary doc wanted me to have colonoscopy, but the prep was too much for my body to handle.. Doc told me that colorectal was a concern for me, too... I really don't want to know..
I hear ya on the saggy skin issue... that is my problem for sure.. As long as I am covered head to toe and wearing spanx... to get the skin to sit in the right places.. lmao... I can look somewhat normal.. and cute thin.. But Horrors! if I take off my clothes! lol! I wish I could blame my muscle breakdown on the surgery, but after 5 years.. I think I can safely say that in my case it is a serious lack of exercise.
I look at that pic I use as my lil portrait (taken two months after dx and during chemo, before surgery) and remember all the hard work I did for that body... sigh... and I loved every minute of it... BTW I am wearing a wig in that pic; I got a kick out of trying out new styles with the wigs. But chemo proved to be my downfall. It was tough for me.. it really bothered me because the s/e surprised all of us (docs and me). I hit the jackpot on s/e. Thought I had caught my cancer early enough and I was in great shape; strong heart, good diet, regualr exercise, etc... but I had more s/e than most women and never got over them.. Don't expect the same results I had. A lot of women get through chemo with temporary s/e. Some only have to take a short time off from work; some go back to work when it is over and thrive. IN my case, it was always the surgery that scared me. I was so afraid of disfiguring and losing sensation... HA!
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Little did I know... BUT I am STILL waiting on the surgeries to be over... lmao So I guess my fear of surgery was on target! lol
Always felt young, maybe being terminally single and not having kids had some bearing there... Now it just makes me feel lost and alone... sigh... OK getting depressed again.. time to get some rest and dream of dancing, working again, and being in love!
I can still dream, can't I?
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DellaHJ--I was on tamoxifen for several months, the depression was horrible, that's one reason I started the neupogen shots to shut down my ovaries so I could take arimidex. Depression is nothing to mess with, that's for sure. Welcome to the thread, I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here. It can take some time to get the hang of navigating the threads, but that's ok, we've all been there and will help you.
Dianarose--There is some variation from lab to lab on what is normal for some tests. The Alkaline Phos can be just over normal because of the muffin. I'm not sure what the Liver 1 and Liver 2 are, I'm not used to seeing the results labeled that way, so I'm not going to be much help there, but again, that muffin has an influence. If the all the results are just over the line of normal it's most likely to be plain old dehydration. Even mild dehydration can skew lab results. Liver enzyme results are some of the most sensitive to outside influences. Keep in mind that your liver enzymes may be slightly elevated after surgery from the stress of surgery and the anesthesia, so if they are in the same general area as they are now that will be a very good thing. Hang in there, and let us know when the bakery is open, I'm take a road trip!
Goldie4040--Please, talk to one of your docs before changing your xanax use! First, if the xanax is controlling the anxiety, it is still being helpful and going off it will NOT make things better. Second--just because it's not making you sleepy does not mean that the xanax isn't helpful, it only means that you may need a slightly higher dose for sleep, or perhaps a different medication for sleeping. Third--If the xananx isn't effective when you have your reconstruction there are other drugs that will be, but most likely you will just need a little bit larger dose. The phenomenon is called tolerance, your body gets used to the substance so you need a bit more to get the same effect. This does NOT mean you are addicted. It is a common physical response. Talk to your doc, he/she will evaluate the situation and make recommendations. DO NOT try to wean yourself off xanax without medical help unless you no longer have anxiety problems. Actually, you should never try to wean yourself off any medication, you should ALWAYS do that with a doctor's guidance. PLEASE talk to your doc first.
Dwilli4483--don't you love the way everyone assumes the stuff after diagnosis and treatment is all easy by comparison? Crazy and so not true. And there is nothing wrong with venting, and this is a good place to do that. I know, I've done it hear a lot!
Cmharris59--negotiating the health care payment system is a full time job, thrust on us when we can least afford to take on another huge task. It is a long and painful journey, and has been longer and more painful for you than most. Depression is a horrible disease itself, I struggled with it before bc, during and after and still now. Please find a doc that you can connect with and will work with you. Maybe contact the American Cancer Society, they can help you manage the system and get your rights, which includes reconstruction. Medicare MUST cover it by Federal law as well as by law in most states. Let us know how it's going. There are times when holding on to your sense of humor is a struggle, and times when it's appropriate to let the anger fly, too. Maybe now is the time you need your anger to help you get through the next step or two? Don't worry about negativity. Negativity comes with the territory, we've all been there, and it helped me to know that it happens to others too. So now I'm throwing you a rope to hold on to!
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Hi ladies- it's been awhile, and I've just caught up. Travel kept me away for a bit, and now my wings have been clipped a bit at work, so I won't be doing as much of it. I noticed several newbies checking in; nice to have fresh blood to add to conversations on this thread! So sad though, that what links us is BC... I have thought about not checking back; but I so enjoy the info, wisdom and humor found here. I just want to move on and try to put my experience in the past.
But it's going to be a while I guess. I met with my PS recently (and DID have a yearly mammo, since I was at the hospital- yay for me!). He is confident he can fat graft the nooks and crannies that still remain, but will do that after I have enjoyed my summer. My mammo was on 5/20 and I have not heard a word, which I imagine is a good thing. I'll probably get the "all clear" card in the mail tomorrow. After having a reduction/lift on one side, I was a bit fearful that it would hurt. But the mammo was nothing like before BC! Maybe being partially numb helped; never thought I would express gladness about that!
I am one of the lucky ones and have not suffered bad SEs from Tamoxifen. I haven't had a hot flash in months, have lost the post-surgery weight I gained, and am not depressed. I think two effects that may be attributable to Tam are lack of desire and a light sleepiness in the afternoon. I've never been a napper, but boy, after work these days if I lay down I can go out!
Realizing that at 54 I better start getting some kind of exercise, I started walking 4-5 days per week. Sherry and the others who undertake bootcamp classes put me to shame! I know I'll have to step it up when menopause hits (any good crystal balls out there? Just saying...I'm fifty f-ing four!) and as of this morning, got my period for the third month in a row. It had been kind of on and off, but it looks like I should again plan on monthly visits like clockwork. But I guess that keeps the threat of uterine cancer at bay. How this disease givith and taketh away!
A couple of days ago I got kind of emotional and felt like crying. That is NOT normal for me, and there was no clear reason behind it. Now, with my period this morning it makes more sense. A couple of times a year I have gotten weepy beforehand, and the feeling is gone now so I guess it's attributable to that. BUT I just realized, I don't seem to crave chocolate beforehand like I used to. So maybe things are changing.
Happy Memorial Day to those men and women who have served our country and at such self-sacrifice!
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Hahahaha, staynsane...they come because they are middle-aged with B/C, they stay because it's cheaper than therapy.
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Welcome Jessica749 - age is all relative isn't it? You would think sometimes that we are a group of middle school girls not middle aged women, the way that we carry on sometimes - lol
cmharris - I am a newbie since you left and it is nice to "meet" you. Glad that you have found your way back. You have been dealing with a lot of crap and no one should have to do that alone. I hope that you decide to hang out with us for a while. We will certainly be here to help lift your spirits, lend an ear when you need to vent and just be a friend.
I don't know what I would do without the friends I have met here on the boards. I don't have anyone nearby who "gets it" that I can chat with. So I come here to hang out and get my fix. It's amazing how a group of strangers can come together and form such an incredible bond.
Eli - I inspire to someday be a Walmart greeter. This is great experience for my "retirement" job.
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Oh yeah Eli, I was going to say that I did sign on to Lumosity once and did a couple of things. But I can't remember my sign in - go figure. Might have to think about that for a while - I usually use the same one for everything for just this reason.
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Thanks barsco for the welcome. I plan on sticking around. This site is the best form of therapy for me. Love reading and connecting with others.
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