MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
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Mel147 and Momine, I am thinking about not doing recon. They made the decision to not start it when they did my bmx and talk about doing it next year. I might change my mind, but am not sure. Do you wear prosthetics? I don't have mine yet.
Momine, I have had that also. I tell my onc I am still not doing something and she looks confused and says, 'no, you can do that now.' Of course she says I can get blood pressure done on my left arm now, but it hurts like crazy.
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Mel--Sounds like
you're getting the workplace negativity thing under control!Good for you!Those personality things are fun to do, aren't they?Jbokland--I hate the
whole Pinktober thing, not so much because other cancers also deserve
attention, but because I hate the expectation that I should be marching for
free mammograms, or some other "cancer warrior woman" activity.Why can't it be a private thing?I do not what to be known as the bc survivor,
I want to be known as the good employee, the good friend, loving daughter,
caring dog parent, homeowner, etc.Don't
limit me to a diagnosis, please!Glennie--I think I
am different at work, too, I think many people are.Mercury--I think
many companies choose what causes to donate to based on what will get them the
best advertising more than anything else.BC is easy to identify with and gets companies lots of positive
publicity.Let's face it, BC is
"sexier" than Chrohn's disease.Jbokland--I had
bilateral DIEP recon, the recovery was absolutely longer and harder than the
mastectomy.I had one of the 4 drains
for almost 3 months, but that was because of the radiation damage done in that
area.Mercury--I chose to
wait a year after mastectomy before recon.I had the mastectomy due to complications from rads, and needed a break
from surgeries and infections and complications.I used a prosthesis during that time.People could not tell that I had a mastectomy
and was using a prosthesis. I entertained not getting a recon, but with one DDD
boob and one missing, I was having too much back and neck pain and decided to
take the opportunity to get smaller breasts.Extra bonus, I don't need to wear a bra anymore!0 -
My PS told me that I may or may not need drains. Hoping not. I didn't have them when I had implants in 2004. I think the PINK thing is because a decent % of women will battle this disease and they seem to be getting younger. Everyone I've talked to has known someone with bc. The ACS could combine them I suppose.
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Oh the pink crap..........
Another note, why oh why, in every book or movie I read there is usually a woman who is dying or has died from BC. Last night a friend and I (from my BC support group) were at a movie and when they mentioned that the mom had BC we both cracked up because we had just been talking about how it is always in our face. We probably got some glares.
So I had my "procedure" on Tuesday. We picked up my new car and I got to sleep in it the whole way home. The next day I looked out the window and said oh, it has tinted windows? lol way to pay attention. So doc said he thinks he got it all, he thinks it is Basal Cell and if there are any surprises we will deal with them next week.
But I am dealing with some serious mouth pain. I get to go to the dentist today. I am soooo looking forward to the Novocaine. Now I know if I live to 120 I would still be considered middle aged, but my body seems to be "decaying" at a faster rate these days.
I only had a lx, but was prescribed a prosthesis because the sizes ended up very different. But since I have lost weight they seem to have evened back out. Seems like my body is always changing.
I get it about the docs not realizing how they have to spell stuff out for us. I have found that I have refined my question asking to be very specific. I still think all docs should have to undergo their own "procedures" to get what we go through.
glennie, glad you got through your surgery on Monday and hope you are healing well.
good luck everyone making decisions about recon!
momine, glad it was just pesky arthritis. no fun, but better than it coulda been.
mel, I am definitely two different personality types. And since I have stopped working (pretty much) the easier going side is showing up more. I don't feel like I have to do it all anymore or do it perfectly if I choose to do it. Part of me feels lazy and the other part feels like why did I drive myself so crazy for most of my life?
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Mac: glad the procedure is over. Hope the dentist goes well also. Mouth pain sucks.
Think I'm having hot flashes already. Woke up last night and had to kick off the covers. GYN said it could start as soon as 3 days after surgery,, ,guess I'm right on target. Good times.
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oooh hotflashs...sorry glennie 19. i hope they don't last too long or get too awful for you..
Momine, I was told to sleep on my back for the first couple of weeks, no one said anything about what to do after that. i mostly sleep on unaffected side, always have. i try to elevate my arm if it is feeling especially bad, but i do sleep with the night garment on. but sometimes i just crave to lay down on that side, it's like my body knows it needs to, for alignment or something. now i am going to start asking questions about that.
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yep hot flashes are fun! My DD thinks I am crazy to carry a little folding hand fan with me at all times. I embaress her every time I pull it out. But I am past caring what others think at this point.
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jbokland, I had recon immediately with my bilateral mastectomy and had 4 drains in total the first 2 came out in week 2 the last 2 I had for another week and half. That is probably the biggest pain (as in irritation) for me during the whole process. Once they came out it was such a relief. When I had my TE's replaced with implants, no drains were needed. Yay! As MinusTwo mentioned the Exchange thread is great. If I can answer any questions for you, I'd be happy to.
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momine - sucks that you woke with such a scare but glad it turned out to be arthritis rather than something more serious. Hopefully now that you have the go ahead to sleep however you want then it won't flare up so much.
mac - glad that your procedure is over and done with - hoping there are no surprises to have to deal with.
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Last year at the start of October I went out and bought pink pens, pencils, Sharpies, highlighters, agenda, and utility knife. I even spray-painted my favourite wrench pink. I did this, not out of any great desire to help "the cause", but because I am the only woman working with 8 men and figured it was the easiest way to keep their hands off MY STUFF. Little did I know, or even suspect, that at the time I was carrying around a 3.6 cm. tumour in my right breast. One year ago today is the day I noticed the puckering on my breast that began my path through testing, diagnosis, surgery, chemo, and recovery. Thankful that I have been back at work for the last month, and all my pink things are still where they belong, especially my wrench!
Have a great weekend everyone!
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I hated the dreaded grenades I had for weeks after my bmx. First good thing that happened was when they pulled the drains out.
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momine - how frustrating! I do think Drs forget what they tell us sometimes...that drives me crazy! Hope you get feeling better now that you can sleep on your right side
missingmercury - Right now I am wearing a cheap $4.98 bra from Walmart that has pockets and I have my foam boobs (that came with my after surgery camisole) in them. I have a prescription for the "real" fake ones but had to cancel my appointment when I was sick a few weeks ago and haven't rescheduled it yet. The foam ones and this bra are actually very comfortable and I forget they aren't mine!
nativemainer - Yes I am having some success with my work issues! I do have a lot of fun with the personality tests and am looking forward to reading more over the weekend about the one I did yesterday. I know this will help my work issues even more.
macatac - I can relate to what you're saying...I'm still working, but it just doesn't mean the same to me anymore. Doesn't seem as important to me as it was before. Glad your procedure went well! Enjoy that new car!!
glennie - hang in there with the hot flashes - think positive "no estrogen" thoughts!!
I suppose I should go make some dinner...I have some chicken waiting to be cooked. But first...I almost forgot to mention what the dietician told me today. She said she would recommend I stay completely away from soy protein (also soy protein isolate if those two things are different - I'm not sure) and soy oil but said soy lecithin wouldn't be a problem. She also said to stay away from ground flax. She said she wouldn't be too worried about it if my gluten free bread had a few flax seeds since those aren't really digested, but nothing ground was allowed. Unfortunately my favorite gluten free bread has both ground flax meal and flax seeds, so I guess that's off the list! She gave me a few links to some healthy eating websites, but I haven't been to them yet and don't have it in front of me. Will post that over the weekend in case anyone is interested.
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chipmunk57, sorry you had to learn about that tumor, but I loved your story about buying all the pink stuff & the purpose behind it.
I remember in 2009-10, my 1st couple years, of being all gung-ho about pinktober & I didn't really understand why some folks had such a dislike. 5 yrs out, I understand some what, none or very little of the money raised from selling pink actually goes to BC, and yes, we have awareness, we need a cure! But part of me is still not completely offended by the pink. If the exposure gets 1 woman to go have a mammo that then leads to her diagnosis & treatment, I think that the some good comes from the pink. And the title survivor doesn't offend me in the least. I have survived & I am proud of it. I'll take that title as long as it fits. If at some point, God forbid, there is a recurrence, well I'll just have to get my warrior self back at it!!
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Missingmercury, sometimes I wear foobs, sometimes not. My foobs are not proper prosthetics, just a pair of silicone bra liners from a lingerie shop. They are meant to bump you up a cup size and they do!
In my case from 0 to an AA. It is enough to make clothes hang right (to my eye that is) and make it seem like I might have boobs. I also like having a bit of a buffer between my chest and the world. It took some time to get used to it, but I have no regrets and no desire to do recon.Kathec, I was doing the same, but I only have very mild LE that is currently under control. Thing is that the struggle to be conscious of my sleeping position, while I was sleeping, really interfered with my sleep. When I came home from the hip X-ray and everything, I slept for an hour, and then I slept 10 hours straight that night. It is the first time I have slept deeply in years.
Barsco, thanks so much. The timing was so weird, the day after getting high-5s from my onc.
Mel147, WAAAAY better. I probably still should be a bit careful, because certain positions on that side clearly bother the lymph flow, but just being able to sleep without being nervous the while time is a vast improvement.
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that timing was weird!
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The soft bras I have tried cut to close to my underarms and that is not comfortable. My problem is all my shirts are cut for DD's. I am better than I thought I would be with flat, but I cannot afford a whole new wardrobe right now. At least it is cooler now and I can wear neck scarves.
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MissingMercury, I went from a DD to now I think a C cup? I didn't want to go back to being big, I'm not allowed to wear any underwire bras right now so all my old bras are sitting nicely in the drawer. I just wear sports bras now. You can get them at a decent price, Target tends to have them go through clearance when new colors comes in or when the seasons change. I'm always cold so I wear scarves all year round.
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I bought a genie bra and it is not bad. those forms in the cups get moved around sometimes though. lol
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lol MissingMercury, I hear you and yes I'm the lazy one that will wash my bras and panties in the washer and I'll have pads either out of the bras or contorted in weird shapes in the bra and of course those are the ones that are sewn in the bras. hehe
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yes. I should free it so I can just slip it in. lol. duh.
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Welcome to Pinktober...again. October was once a perfectly fine Fall month, and now look at it. I still do think that awareness is a necessary precursor to action; but I can't help but feel a backlash aversion to all the pinkitude shoved in my face this month. Someone else has said it way better than I, and more hilariously:
"Awareness" beats secrecy and stigma of
course, but I can't help noticing that the existential space in which a
friend has earnestly advised me to "confront [my] mortality" bears a
striking resemblance to the mall. ~~Barbara EhrenreichFor those who like to read, Barbara Ehrenreich manages to say in one longish article that which I have felt and only communicated piecemeal on these boards and elsewhere. It is from 13 years ago and, since then, October has become even more pink, so even if you have come across this article before, it is worth a re-read every now and again.
Welcome to Cancerland0 -
eli, very well written article. Hard to believe it was written 13 years ago. I feel like you, that pinktober has just gotten to be "more". My sister died 15 years ago and really how much has really improved since. I certainly learned a lot from her I hope the medical research people did too.
Another thing that has me a bit annoyed, I am part of the Sister Study. Twice in the last few months the examiner has not shown up for scheduled exams at my house. No call, no nothing. This is after I have scraped dust off the tops of my door frames, filled out a detailed questionnaire about my previous 24 hours, not eaten for 12 hours and collected my first pee of the day. I like how it takes into account the environmental factors, but they need to get some better personnel. The last time they did all this for me was probably 10 years ago. That time it was a piece of cake. I don't know why it bothers me so much, it's not like I'm losing work time or anything.
I really, really hope I can find a dentist to extract my frigging tooth tomorrow. The joys of living on an island. And the fact that all medical professionals are so specialized. My wonderful dentist told me on Friday afternoon that it needs to come out but he couldn't do it. agghhh!
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I love Barbara Ehrenreich. Have you read her book: Bright-sided How positive thinking is undermining America ? chapter one is: Smile or Die: The Bright Side of Cancer.Well worth reading.
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mac - how frustrating that you were stood up, especially after fasting etc. I really wish we could charge a "no show" fee for those who are so inconsiderate. On the positive - your door frames are dust free. Hope you can get that tooth taken care of.
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I posted this in "Here's what cheezed me off today" and wanted to post it here as well. I share an office with 2 people, but only one was there today. Another
co-worker came in to sit down and talk to her along with another
person. Next thing I know I hear the conversation turning to the topic
of cancer and dying if the treatment doesn't work, etc. etc. I really
couldn't believe it. I just sat doing my work and not acknowledging
them or the conversation. I know the person who started the
conversation just wasn't thinking and I wasn't mad at him...at some
point he realized what he had been saying and he did say something to me
about it, but still...the topic just made me sad. It makes me realize
how important it is for me to think of the people around me when I am
speaking so I don't inadvertently make someone else sad.mac - that is crazy that they stood you up like that! I would especially be mad about the not eating...I need my breakfast!
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Well, I got an appt to get tooth extracted this afternoon, waited in stand by to get my car off island. Of course I needed to fill out a medical questionnaire. So the doc wanted me to be on an antibiotic for a few days and he also wanted to check my blood levels. He put on the lab work paper that it was because of the tamoxifen script. Anyone else had this happen? This guy is more cautious than my BS. So I gotta wait until friday or there is a cancellation. I was so bummed! They had me all suited up and all the instruments out. I had even downed my little helpers to keep me calm. So another nap in the car on the way home. He claims the antibiotic should make my mouth feel better.
mel, I find that some people seem to be so caught up with what is going on with them, they barely notice other people around them. That's nice that you brought a positive lesson from the episode.
thanks bars! The regional manager of the program called me and asked if I would stay patient and hang in with them. She apologized a few times. They were actually worried about their examiner. So we'll see.
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Glennie, bought it to read. Looks interesting and I know what she means about feeling impelled to have a positive attitude or suffer a setback with the bc.
So who else is happy it is bulky sweater season? Who needs breasts? lol
Mel, how horrible. Good to remember though. I started crying at work today for no apparent reason. I know the bc and chemo are enough, but that is not like me at all.
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It is not bulky sweater season yet down here, but I will enjoy it once it does get here. Hope you like the book, missingmerc,,,, and remember keep a positive attitude! **smirk** total sarcasm,,,, we need a sarcasm icon here!
Wow, Mel, I can see why that cheezed you off. What is with people???? They can't see any further than themselves??
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hey all. mac, hope you get that tooth out soon1 i didn't know that about yamoxifen, maybe your rn from tx center could call him? nothing, i mean nothing- is worse than tooth pain.
i am reading that barbara ehrenrich book too, she is pretty good on all things she examines, better than michael moore, even, in my opinion.
I loooove sweater and coats and hats and leggings and gloves season! we haven't had one here for a while.
i am off to see my endocrinologist today, and i am hoping that she will sign me off medically for excused from jury duty. for several reasons, i don't know if they count. i have insomnia at night, and wake up several times when i do fall asleep. i take pain pills still, and anti depressants, all those things together plus the things i have to do with LE and walking out pains from femara, etc, makes it a long morning for me to get ready. i would not trust me to make life or death decisions for myself, much less someone else. the quality of attention that i have is not what it used to be, plus i think it would depress the crap out of me. what do you all think? when i used to get called up, i always wanted to be picked, because i thought it would be interesting to see first hand how our justice system worked. i am not interested at all, now, and the perverse imps that secretly run my life, would probably allow me to get chosen for it this time... and, i am hand making christmas presents this year, and need all the time i can get. i just got my port out 2 weeks ago, and except for today, have no appointments till the end of november, and then january! so excited about that!
missing mercury, i was just wondering_ was mercury the name of a beloved pet? if so, i am very sorry...pet loss is the worst. even worse than a toothache.
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ELIMAR! LOVE THE LEAVES!
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