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CALLING ALL STAGE I SISTERS

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Comments

  • tinat
    tinat Member Posts: 2,235
    edited December 2011

    Sheila888 - Yay for no appointments for you!

    I used to sort of brush it off when people would say that they feel better when they exercise.  I HATE to exercise, I really do!  But, since starting Arimidex and really stiffening up I do feel so much better when I get in my daily walk.  Did I mention that I hate to exercise????  I have to do it as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning or I will find a million excuses to blow it off.  Now I find if I go a few days without I start feeling a little restless and the weight creeps up right away. 

    It's perfectly OK to complain once in a while!  Do you think it's the holiday blahs?

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

    Thanks Tina.....I love to walk and i used too at least 2-3 miles a day.

    Lately I feel too lazy. i have energy and everything but i feel like someone has to constantly push me.

    Yes Holiday Season makes me kinda sad.

    This year I really missed my DD & FSIL (Hawaii)

    Hugs from NY ♥

  • tinat
    tinat Member Posts: 2,235
    edited December 2011

    Well, no wonder you've got the blahs!  Not crazy about the holidays and you miss your family, two good ones right there! 

    Do you get SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) this time of year?  You know, not enough sunshine and all that?  I am convinced that my 86 year old father suffers from it - lives in Michigan and the less he drives the more he stays indoors.  He calls it the "whim whams" but he just alternates between being very antsy and wanting to nap all winter.  And Christmas day seems to be the worst for him for some reason.  I have tried to encourage him to try the light therapy (I think Costco carries one), but of course he looks at me like I'm some sort of new-age kook from outer space!  I've never tried it, but I have a friend who lives in Oregon who swears that light therapy helps her a great deal.

    Sorry, you probably just wanted some open ears and to blow off a little steam rather than unsolicited advice!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

    OOHH Tina don't ever feel like you are advising me in a wrong way.

    I'm grateful that you understand. My older DD is local lives few blocks away.

    I never liked winter. I do suffer from depression & anxiety it's not related to BC. I take medication for it. When I was in Hawaii few months ago I felt so good the sun the air nature.... I even lost weight because i was walking, swimming & happy.

    Tomorrow I have to promise myself to get out and take a long walk.

    I can relate to your father. Once it's January 2nd I always feel better.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

    ♥                                                              ♥                                                       ♥

  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110
    edited December 2011

    Good night, sweet sister

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,982
    edited December 2011

    Tina,
    I know what you mean about most people not getting it....I spend most of my time telling people I'm fine.  I have had mostly emotional trauma since my dx (lumpectomy, no chemo).  But BC is BC no matter what the surgery or treatment path must be.  I am also private; but when I did share at work, I'd get mad at myself for giving up personal information to people who really are not close to me.
    Now I use humor and when I get fuzzy-brained at work, I can blame the drugs Tongue out.  Strangely, I am not getting calls or cards from even my family members or close friends - except for one.  It's pretty lonely here lately.  My kids are great - all 6 of them have called and nurtured me; but I keep telling them they don't have to call every day! And the grandkids are the best.

    I know I have SAD.  I do love winter though....I love to walk outside and love snow.  I just don't want a lot of snow until rads are done in January.  I have a long drive.
    It is really good to hear from those on here who are a year or more post-diagnosis.  I hope next summer that I can look back at this year as past history. 
    Best wishes to all!
    Joan

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,982
    edited December 2011

    Looking at the near-er future, it just isn't getting better right now.
    I had a chest pain last night -- an old chronic angina-type spasm that was pretty intense.  Two 'episodes' in the past month.  I suspected the Arimidex and today after rads I saw my M.O.'s  NP.   When I told the NP about my pain, they didn't want to let me leave the cancer center. I agreed to stop the Arimidex, and I had to promise to see the cardiologist.  So, now in mid January instead of celebrating no more rads, I will be having a cardio catheterization. I signed the papers today.  Cry

  • tinat
    tinat Member Posts: 2,235
    edited December 2011

    Joan811 - I have been saying this more and more - "Breast Cancer - the gift that keeps on giving!"  I'm so sorry for your health issues.  That must be scary.  You have to wait a month before the heart cath?  Dang it!  What a waiting game this all is.

  • stage1
    stage1 Member Posts: 285
    edited December 2011
    Joan, CrySorry to hear about your having to have the heart catheterization...just what you need to hear in the middle of rads...feeling for you...
  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548
    edited December 2011

    ((Joan))

    Just stopped by to wave hi to Sheila and all my sistahs!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011
     Barbara ♥
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011
    Tina.....I kept my promise and walked for 2 hours.Smile
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

    Joan.....Sorry sister you have to go another procedure.

    We'll all jump in your pocket. Just let us know when. HUGS♥

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011
    I missed you Val.....hugs ♥ and more hugs Smile
  • annettek
    annettek Member Posts: 1,160
    edited December 2011

    Hello everyone....so much love and it so appreciated...I fell into the black funk of i dunno what...has been very hard ....made it through my cancerversary free and clear...that was good...I dunno....everything has just hit me and i have been having a really hard time....did not want to come on here and whine and moan when people are facing far more serious things....i am just so sad over so many things...i know it will pass but this is a bit of a long jag for me to be down...my oldest had some problems and hopefully know is back on track...hubby and I are god knows where we are...i just feel so damn down....i can't shake it..we had two company parties and they unveiled the wall street journal video thursday at the corporate meeting...and what do I do with over 200 people in the room...start crying because i look so damn ugly ....real professional....ah, such mixed emotions. Then I had my tats redone and got a bad infection and that was a lot of fun...it just seemed I hit a patch of black ice in my life and i am still sliding a bit. I resisted coming on here since I hate being debbie downer and my life sounds like a friggin jerry springer episode. I love you all and welcome to all who are new...sorry so sorry you had to find us but there is no greater group of women. I tend to isolate bad when I am really down...ack....I will see if I can change that up a bit...holidays are always bittersweet...big hugs to all of you and thank you so much for caring....i won't stay gone so long

  • samsue
    samsue Member Posts: 599
    edited December 2011

    Annette (((Hugs))) Try to come as often as you can.... and vent all you want. That's the purpose of these threads to know that you're not alone and we all care about you!

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited December 2011

    ((((ANNETTE))) Do come here often.  We are all so very worried about you.  Like Samsue said, this is the place to vent about anything. We are here to take care of you.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

    ♥Annette♥

    I totally agree with Samsue & Jo. I know that dark place believe me I know it very well.

    And like you when I'm there I go MIA but you know what if you promise to come here we can help each other.

    I loved jo's quote yes we take care of you. This isn't just a BC thread...it's everything that making us sad thread.

    We love you♥

    I love all my sisters ♥ 

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,982
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for the (((hugs)))
    I rarely cry any more....but I have been crying lots....
    what I like about this family is anyone can say how she honestly feels without someone always saying "you are strong" and "you can do it"  and "don't talk that way".....sometimes it is just wonderful to have someone say "yeah, it sux today" ... I know you all know...
    Annette - So glad you have that cancerversary behind you.  You have described a place where most of us have been or are going to be.  Life goes on before, during and after BC, and it gets messy.
    I have been trying to order mountains of holiday gifts on line and I just cannot seem to accomplish this.  I either fall asleep on the computer or get too confused to make a decision.  I can't multi-task any more -- everything has to be linear.
    I went off Arimidex today (cold turkey) and no one from MO's office told me any other way to do it.  I suspect some emotional adjustments, but not sure what. Best part of today? I got my hair highlighted and cut :-)   My dear young hairdresser volunteers with a local cancer group and she is so understanding and empathetic.
    Hugs for all tonight...
    Joan
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

    Joan...I heard all those things from well meaning friends and family.

    One said "Everything behind you now" I said Where and changed the conversation.

    I never wanted anybody feel sorry for me from day one but when I'm nervous, having a test I dont want to hear the words "Don't even think about it"

    I want them to acknowledge my fear and teach them not talking about it doesn't really help.

    Sending HUGS to my sister from New Rochelle to Long Island....... open the window and catch it.

    ♥♥♥

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited December 2011

                                                            

                                                              TO ALL MY SISTERS

  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110
    edited December 2011

    First off, Annette ~ I oughtta tan your hide!! You know darn well that I sit by this computer day & night waiting for someone to slide a bit off center so I can right them, RIGHT?!?!? And I would have offered you more cheese to go with your whine .... Laughing 

    Seriously, hon, I completely understand. We ALL do. I know it's hard to get this sh*t out - it's hard to talk about, even to us sometimes.

    I just came back from spending several days with my grandchildren, ages almost 5 & 3.5 yrs. We were watching Home Alone & I had both kids on my lap & we laughed like crazy at the hilarious antics of the bumbling robbers & Maccaulley Calkin jumping up & down on the bed eating popcorn & saying, "I made my family disappear." (my grandson says that sooo cute!) - they would turn to look at me & if I laughed more, they laughed louder. Then my DD put on Polar Express & this Grandma about lost it. That is such a wonderful movie, but here I sit with my little gifts from God on my lap, trying like hell NOT to CRY. It was awful ....... there was nothing I could do but pull them tighter to me & blink like crazy to not let the tears fall. Cry

    Such contrasting moments.....

    This is not an easy time of the year, & I know the emotion of having been dx'ed during these holidays & then how hard it is to revisit it again.

    But, I, we all are, here to revisit it again. We love you, dear sister, & please remember that. And if you need to be away for awile, then do so. And, remember that we are here for you when you return.

    And, you are NOT ugly, you are beautiful inside & out. Got That????

    Joan, I am so sorry that you have something else you have to "make it through" now.  I could say the usual things, but you know all that. I'm sending you extra hugs, strength & love to help you stay strong. If I were near you, I'd come visit & just sit & be there to listen; or not, it wouldn't matter if you said anything at all. I'm here for you & I'll be in one of your many pockets that will be full to overflowing next month. ♥

    To paraphrase Jo, we take care of each other.

    Sheila, I think after these holidays, we need a good long chat. ♥

    To all my sistahs, many hugs & much ♥

  • tinat
    tinat Member Posts: 2,235
    edited December 2011
    sheila888 - Yay, good for you!!!  I only walked for 45 minutes today, but you've inspired me to go a full hour tomorrow as I've been slacking off a wee little bit the past few weeks.
  • tinat
    tinat Member Posts: 2,235
    edited December 2011

    Hang on everybody!!!!!

  • Panmars
    Panmars Member Posts: 166
    edited December 2011

    Reaching out from chilly Minnesota with a warm hug for all of you, wherever you are!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2011

     Annette..................right here for you girlfriend.....................I can understand completely how your feeling.......honestly was I am reading, I find many of my ladies are down in the dumps for one reason or another............I thought it was just me, being the only one who is looking for the (1/2 full" glass, and can't f;ind it..........................I am crying at sad movies, hallmark commercials, and anything that I put my eyes on.................it must be the time of the year................(I certainly hope so)......................I sure can't go through this into 2012....................................It is jus so lonely...........TV stinks, I don't feel like going out ( I tire easily, bad knee), so I right now am having my very own "Pity Party"...........................and wish I was not the honored guest, but I am...............................no wonder they say more people commit suicide when the holidays come................................

    Oh well, guess I better get out my "RED SOLO CUP", and find the Vodka..........................love you all.....................and none of you are invited to my Pity Party..........................I want you all to be happy..........................hugs.............

  • bedo
    bedo Member Posts: 1,431
    edited December 2011

    Joan I am sorry you're going through all that.  I took 6 months off from work, not so much because of the physical recovery from surgery and radiation (I also had another sugery for another issue) but for other factors, and my doctor suggested it. Most important was fatigue from radiation and healing.  Also important was the  fact that I couldn't concentrate and felt my IQ had dropped 20 points.  Also, I was very emotional.  Going back into my profession would have hurt my reputation and possibly hurt others.  I am looking for a job now (I was diagnosed 2 weeks before our office closed 5 1/2 monhts ago) but still slept 12 hours last night. My mind is clear again but I anticipate mainly sleeping on my off hours and would prefer a 32 hour a week job.

    RI has 24 week short term disability. There were other issues going on with me, but there are 6 states that have it for people who live and work in them, if anyone needs to look into it.  

    So hang in there ladies,  things will get better. It's good to get out.  Treat yourself.  Summer will return. 

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited December 2011

    All im gonna say to Annette is welcome back sista.all the sistas said it all.We all worry about each other.period!!!!!thats what sistas do.i know this time of the year suks.last year at this time i was doin the rads.grrrrrrrrrrrrr.This year id like to stay home and eat a PB&J sandwich alone.

    am I in a dark hole.hell no!!!!!just not in the mood for Christmas.

    i have had sooo many blessings since diag.i should be jumping out of my skin but im not.and i dont know why??

    Sooooooooo i come here to vent but i said nothing.what wrong with me?maybe im just tired.or in need of a vacation.

    Goin away for the month of Jan.maybe that will pick up my spirits....change of scenery.enuf.rant over.

    i really sound bipolar....huggggggggs sistas K

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited December 2011

    BTW-----i would like to encourage all my sistas to check out the thread LETS DRAFT A LETTER TO WASHINGTON.....very interesting and we just might make an impact....xoxoxoxo K