CALLING ALL STAGE I SISTERS
Comments
-
Growing up Christmas was always a glorious and special time. My Father in particular loved Christmas and was the one who sparked the excitement in our home. On Dec. 11, 1967, the year after DH and I married the Joy of Christmas disappered when he died. Since '68 I've been able to dispell the depression by getting involved in making Christmas a happier time for others but so far that isn't working very well this year. I keep looking for that spark, I hope I find it.
Ducky -- think you might have an idea, got an extra red cup? I'll bring my own scotch. :>)
0 -
My mom died Dec 18th and that did it for me.its been over 20 yrs.but it has never beeen the same.maybe thats whats bothering me.thanks chabba for bringing it to the surface.i keep forgetting.
0 -
Wow..step away from your computer and 10.000 posts appear...wow!!!! congrats...
this stage one sistah has decided to step away from the hormonals and try her luck with exercize and a green/organic whenever possible diet...and a positive, upbeat attitude again....have decided to live my life and remove things that scare me (potentialy for meds causing another heart problem) or mess up my head....
discussed stress,with my co-survivor galpal, as an added componenet to all of this medical mumbojumbo...I have been poohpoohing it as i wanted a medical reason...or a random reason for breast cancer ...but it had been an incredibly stressful year leading up to the diagnosis and mildly stressful years leading up to that...I cannot dispute that stress was a contributor...but it does mean I have to look at my life and remove what I can...
Thoughts??
0 -
Sandee............Taking the hormals scared the hell out of me too........I finally did it........I'm not in horrible pain, or hot flashes, but I can tell you this..............life is not easy........would I stop if I could get some kind of assurance this friggin cancer would not show up somewhere else............."absolutely", but the thought of dying from "mets" scares me even more then the frigging "devil Femara"...............I am so sick, and tired of feeling like "shit"...........I was a dancing, active, go up and back from Pittsburgh (driving) in the same day.............all the baseball games, boardwalk in the summer, beach, rode the amusements.........................now.........................do I do it..........................yes, but guess what..........I do it with aches and pains, sore and tired legs, and saying to myself............."I can't go another step".
What scares me more is that the very people who always asked me to go everywhre with them, will avoid me, and not tell me when they are going places, ...........why.............because I can't keep up........................I hate this cancer, hate the fact that I am still "beat to hell with fatigue" either from the meds, or leftover Rads............depressed, Jesus I could not be more depressed if someone sewed my face to the carpet..............but I keep trying.............and I do a lot of crying in between, wondering, what kind of life is left for me (with what I have left at 76)..............this is certainly not how I planned my last "hoorah" to be like........................
But yes, I take the "devil", and would stop if I had a guarantee that the end whenever it does occur, will not be worse then what I deal with now on Femara.....................I pray for guidance, but the ultimate decision is mine........................right now I'm still going with it................will this be a life style...............I can't say for sure....................I just know, I want my f---ing life back..................
Oh and yes, my husband loved xmas................did nothing, gave a lot of advice, and comment, but did nothing................but he was there. Its 20 years, and trust me it doesn't get any better............He could be a "pain in the ass", but he was "my pain in the ass"....................and xmas without his goofy, dry, sense of humor has never been the same............although my oldest son is a very, very, close 2nd..........he always comes up with some kind of comment that causes me to say "you know what Vinny, your father will never be dead as long as you are alive"............
So Sandee whatever you choose, you have to do whatever is best for you...............it is no fun, and none of us want to pay the ultimate price for "taking our chances", but we have to do what makes us happy, and makes each day worth living.............................I have to say.........many days are not like that, so good luck girlfriend.............just take care of yourself. and God Bless whatever decision you make...........................'hugs .
0 -
Sanyi---sista/friend....im takin nothin....QOl at 71 means a lot to me....everyone is different...i tried the ALs...shit thats just not for me...and with a 2% survival over 5 yrs....hell no....IMO at this age i have enuf problems without all those extra.you can always go back on if you change your mind....i keep tellin myself that....its 1 1/2 yrs. since diag.did the rads against my better judgement but my family was hysterical so i did it...but thats it for me....i exercise,try to eat as good as i can,get enuf sleep etc...in the end its up to GOD.Follow your heart.It will not lead you wrong.God bless.huggggggs K
0 -
holy moly we all are in it a bit i see...christmas has been bittersweet for many reasons....my big brrther died on his 13th birthday which was 12/24....that was back in 1964...I was just a little kid and I miss like that little girl who lives inside of me still does...my dad's bday (he's been gone since '88)was christmas day and my sister (who left this planet in '68) was born on Dec 11....i think all of this just seeps in and makes my heart so blue....I was so lucky to have them all for as long as I did and I gotta tell you I feel them still...
I hear you Sandee....i chose not to take the antihormonals and well, it is a choice. Big hugs to you and everyone else on here:) Here is to this being a GREAT WEEK dammit:)!
0 -
Ducky, Granny, Annette....our diagnoses are almost identical on this thread and such different results, hmm? If diet and exercize don't work and I get scared down the line, ok...AI' are possible but for now I am going to get myself a juicer and follow what Kris Carr and others talk about in Crazy Sexy Diet...similar to the yeast connection diet, gluten free etc...except gives tips 9ie juicing) on how to get the number of veggies into me that I need....can't look at my hands and see my dad's.....which is what I see right now...2 months ago I could close my fists...and had energy for the gym. Right now....right now I would rather have quality than quantity....at 49 or 71...no one is saying 'do it!...the numbers say...'....instead I am reading low percentages and I choose to live right now....as best I can....lowering my stress at work and play should help I hope....thanks for the thoughts ladies. I soooo apprreciate it.
Anette. I understand...Christmas can be hard..thisis the firs time in three years I have put lights up...and hauled out my favourite decorations...i have decorated a wooden, triangular shrub protecor my ex-ftherinlaw made me for our 'potential' garden....it sat inthe basement for years...I moved it here with me last fall and since it is Xmas tree shaped...that is my 'go green' plan..sustainable and reusable!...and I am filling the season with friends that I love and cat snuggles in between...let the healing begin. Hope your heart feels lighter soon...
0 -
Ladies,
I totally get the Christmas issue. It was always such a special holiday growing up and I married a man who becomes the excitable little boy at the holidays.. He doesn't shop at all during the year but loves to go Christmas shopping, wraps better than me and truly loves the season. That said, it has been different thou since we lost his dad 4 yrs ago and my mom 3 yrs ago... The kids are now grown and it just is harder for me to get caught up in the season anymore.
Hate to change the subject but need someone to interject some common sense and talk me off the ledge for a minute. In the past 24 hours, I have developed a visible & palpatable pea sized knot just beside the my healing incision on the cancer side.. I am trying really hard to just breathe but am freaking out.... And I am not sure who I call... My exchange surgery was 3 weeks ago.. Do I call the PS, the BS or my ob/gyn? Or whoever can see me first? HELP!!!
0 -
Good luck Sandee......................I'm only 6 months on this shit...............I have developed "trigger thumb"........that is something new....................not fun............I will do this until like you, I say enough is enough................as far as I'm concerned the Femara is just another way to keep you alive, so you can be miserable, and sicker, and achier, and more depressed for a longer time.................it is not the answer.........it comes at a cost, and I'm not talking money.....................it really sucks.....
I have had people say "well the younger ones can handle it better then you........your older..........guess what..................read BC.org...................see how many young ones are handling it......................I just love the "know it all's out there, who have no idea what cancer is about..................
I have so many aches and pains without Femara from "arthritis"................I figure a couple more won't make a difference, but I am reaching my "breaking point for tolerance"
Your gonna be ok girlfriend...just take care of yourself, and keep us informed.
0 -
Granny................where is that thread your talking about for Washington................I can't find it..................maybe I have had too much Vodka............................Red Solo Cup, I fill you up, let's have a party.....................
Help me ladies, someone lead me to Washington..................help
0 -
Odie - Just step back and breath. Call your PS and let them know what you are experiencing. I know it is hard but don't let the mind wonder - it could be nothing but definitely worth checking out.
Christmas is hard for me too. My mom passed in 1995 on Dec 16th (which was also her wedding anniversary) of pancreatic cancer. Dad passed in 2001. I try to keep upbeat but have to tell you ladies that for the past 2 years, I have not been in the mood for Christmas. Understandably, last year I had just finished rads and this year - who the hell knows. I have done some shopping but have not even started on the cards yet. Maybe tomorrow that would be a good project for me.
0 -
It is called Let's draft a letter to Washington and is in the Advocacy forum...
Pass the vodka, I think I need a drink..I'm scared.....
0 -
odie- call your BS and if they can't see you then call the PS...ob/gyn can't do muc- I am sure it is just scar tissue...i have all kinds of knots and lumps and seams...but I am a fimr believer in calling when freaking...better to be safe than sorry--- a week agao today I was freaking when my tattoo rt nipple was hurting and a bit red- turned out to be infected....i called the PS last Sunday night and emailed him a pic I took in dresing room at Marshall's! Would I have felt bad if it was nothing for bothering him...yeah, I guess, but as it was he called in three anitbiotics to a 24 hour pharmacy and had me in BS office first thing monday morning. So you call in morning and INSIST on being seen...our peace of mind matters...(see above:)
big hugs
0 -
Odie---im prayin for you right now.....wish i could do more then that right now like give you a big hugggggggggg ..........just take care of it ASAP....dont know who to tell you to call tho but if that was me i would start with any DR....surely someone would know....
Ducky did you find the thread????? I keep on bumping it up.......need all the sistas here to help...please.
0 -
Ducky- thanks.....I know it is hard....I may regret this decision but I will try the greem food thing...get back to the gym....laugh more....can't bend my hands tonight...I look down and see my dad's hands..which would be fine except I am not a 73 year old man....and that is what my hands look like right now...I know they are just hands....it is just swelling but the swelling and heart issues...can't do it..heart potential problems are more real to me than breast cancer I guess right now...so....need to take care of that...I hope you feel better Ducky...
Odie- breathe tonight and call your BC or PS (or both..who responds faster>???) first thing in the am...likely just your body adjusting but safer than sorry is the key here. Afer my heart attack in March, I was in the emergency room because I had had a vitamin get stuck in my throat...and I was terrified to lie down....I needed reassurance and I was here alone so...I went and sat inthe waiting room knowing if anything happened I was somewhere where I was safe ...the dr's were incredibly understanding!...and I felt better getting information...our minds play tricks on us and our bodies react....you don't have enough knowledge right now re. how your body will or may react to what has recently happened to you so you need more information...don't panic....you ARE the expert on what does not feel right and what you need support with...call tonight and leave messages explaining the situation and then go to bed....
gentle hugs being sent your way
0 -
Thanks for the encouragement. I will call the PS in the a.m. as he is generally really good about working patients in quickly....Used to be a calm & easy going person not prone to panic but .....
0 -
Odie.....I had an issue different than yours...about 2 years ago i developed this dull pain in my BC side. i freakked out for over 2 weeks called Oncologist first they said come in and called me later that my appointment was cancelled and i needed to see my BS.
I called him he was leaving for vacation for 2 weeks. He actually called me at 8 PM and was sorry.
So I waited couple more days anxiety built fully. I took myself to the ER and made sure i had an US and I didn't care what they thought of me......It was nothing..........
If it's making you nervous call someone for an emergency appointment yes exaggerate things little bit. It's OK
hugs♥
0 -
odie call the PS or BS better to call than to freak.
I used to love Christmas but after my son died 16 years ago I lost my fizz for it but had to put my big girl panties on for my other kids. As much as I was hurting I did not want to ruin their Christmas's. Now with the grand kids it is much easier because I adore watching them get excited about Christmas. I'll have my sad time at Christmas. It usually hits me when I least expect it. I'll be sad probably shed a few tears then I get back to my life because I know that is what my son would like. He loved Christmas, Easter, Valentines, oh heck he was just fun and loved life.
0 -
Sandee...Stress is part of our life. It's easy for the Doctors to say just relax......
To All My Sisters....I'm hoping after the Holidays maybe things will get to a normalcy.
This time of the year is difficult for me because i don't have good memories
Let's all post more often during everybody's difficult time whatever it would be.........HUGS♥
0 -
My niece just called me.
My SIL who are very close like sisters was DX with lung Cancer and a mass in her brain no results yet.
She said that i can understand this better than any family member.
I feel so sad and shocked.
I have the hospital # but i was warn she doesn't want to talk about this...
Suddenly i realized life sucks big time.........
0 -
Last year at this time I was getting ready for my third surgery so Xmas really sucked for me last year, It was suppose to have been a really fun because it was my first grand-babies first Xmas.But now that all the BC stuff is hopefully over I am so looking forward to this Xmas, I am so excited that I can hardly wait to watch my 22 month old granddaughter open all her gifts.
Nancy
0 -
Sheila,
I am sooo sorry...You're right, it sucks sometimes. Sending a huge hug and lots of prayers.
0 -
Sheila - This is for you my friend.
0 -
I'm so sorry about your SIL, Sheila....saying a prayer for her..
0 -
Praying Shelia, and sending warm hugs
0 -
♥ ♥ ♥
0 -
Shelia..........so sorry, God does this ever stop........................once you get cancer, your sitting on a time bomb, just waiting for someone to light the fuse........................................What a way to live, and if anyone tells me they don't think, or worry about it, I will call them a liar......................tough words, but never truer.....................the fear just never goes away................I will pray for her, and all the people who have this dreadful disease......................hugs
0 -
Oh, Sheila, I am so sorry to hear about your SIL. I will pray for her & her family.
Sending you a gentle hug. ♥
0 -
Val...We need that chat after the holidays by phone.
Hugs
0 -
i know I said Good Night but I'm still here.
Thank You from the bottom of my heart for caring I know you my sisters understand it.
HUUUUUUGS♥♥♥♥
0
