CALLING ALL STAGE I SISTERS
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I put in my leave request for starting tomorrow. I so much respect those of you who worked/are working through radiation. I just haven't got it in me to be working right now. Every day was a huge fight with myself, and every day my work got worse. It felt like a hostage situation where I was both sides!
The diagnosis process has definitely exacerbating my existing mental health issues (ADHD and depression/anxiety). I'm hoping that taking this time off will let me keep my whole self as healthy as possible and leave me in decent shape when I get through to the other end of this so I can actually go back to work and finish out the school year.
It does feel so very strange though.
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Salamandra, teaching is emotionally exhausting. I have found that this journey, including rads, has been very anxiety producing. You should not feel apologetic about taking care of yourself during a very difficult time. I'm working primarily bc I don't have sick time left.
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DWiseley, I teach middle school drama, so I totally get the whole prep for a sub thing. When I went out for surgery last year it killed me to be out (3 weeks for my DMX). I went back too soon, and ended up leaving early almost daily (but during remediation time so at least I didn’t have a class in my room). Just listen to your body and get enough rest. I didn’t have rads but my mom did and her only complaint for most of it was that she was just so tired.
And let your kids help you when you can. My students LOVED to help me when I came back. I don’t think I carried more than my keys and a cup of coffee for like 6 months!
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Salamandra, that’s likely a good decision. I came back 8 weeks after my surgery at half time with the intention of being full-time again in a couple months. It took me the rest of the year to gain back enough energy. Tamoxifen was no help! My job has changed a bit, so for the last two years, the intensity has declined. I’m not sure if I had to resume my previous load that I could ever do it again. I think I’d reduce my contract rather than exhaust myself like that.0
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TaRenee, I teach middle school ESL. With three grades and 5 levels, getting ready for a sub is a nightmare. Plus I took 6 weeks off in 2017 for a hysterectomy, and tons of time off in 15/16 for colon cancer. I'm going to try to work through rads. I may need a day here and there to recoup, but I'm going to try.
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Thank you DWisely, TaRenee, Pi-Xi. I really appreciate the support. It feels like there's such a culture of 'flight-through' both in cancer but even more so just in general US culture - don't be a wimp, work through, work is healthy, etc. I'm really having to try to peel back a lot of layers of cultural conditioning to feel ok following my gut here. And also feeling very lucky that I am in a job where I can do this and keep my health insurance and return to it, even if I do end up losing some wages.
It looks like I may have about a week before starting radiation with no doctor's appointments. I am kind of thinking of finding some cheap last minute beach vacation within a 3 hours flight and soaking up sun and salt water for a few days. I haven't had a vacation like that in ages. I'd be going by myself (single) and I hope that wouldn't be awkward, and that's a kind of vacation I haven't done solo before. It's more of a fantasy now than a plan, but maybe...
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Salamandra, I am single (ish) too. (Boyfriend lives 2 hours away, we both live our independent lives) Your vacation idea is wonderful. Do it and tell us so I can vicariously experience it too.
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Wishing all you girls a Happy Thanksgiving from Australia :-)
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Happy thanksgiving 🦃🍽
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Happy Thanksgiving, friends!
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Happy Thanksgiving from Oklahoma!
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Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!!:)
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Hi stage 1 sisters,
I'm thinking about the marginal impact of tamoxifen. The online calculators I tried give me at 15 years 85% survival with, 88% survival without. I know those aren't perfectly customized, and my docs have been really positive about my particular situation. 3% improvement isn't nothing, but it's not a hell of a lot either, is it? I'm definitely trying the tamoxifen, and if the side effects are livable, I'm happy to take it. But it does mean giving up an antidepressant that has worked well for me for years, and sticking with it come what may just doesn't feel as obvious as I thought it would. I'm thinking I will try to speak with my medical oncologist about it more at my next follow up. But i wonder how other people are squaring this math?
Also she wants me to take out my hormonal IUD. Not because of any studies that show it's harmful, but just because it's hormonal and so is my cancer. And I've been pushing back. So I'm guessing she won't be thrilled to hear this from me! But anyone else in this boat with the IUD? I've read that some oncologists actually recommend keeping them because they can help with the endometrial lining issues that tamoxifen sometimes causes and reduce ovarian cancer risk.
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I jumped into Tamoxifen, and apparently was having issues with starting Celexa and PTSD. I stopped after two weeks. Then I agonized over not taking it for a year. I figured my benefit was at most 4%. Finally I decided to try it again and then experienced the garden variety side effects. I stuck with it four years, hating every stupid pill. Just after my fifth cancerversary I quit. This coincided with my onc telling me I needed to stay on it ten years. (Oh hell no.) I learned a couple things.
Taking it was easier for me emotionally than agonizing over not taking it.
I spent waaaay to much time running the numbers over and over and over. . . and over in my head.
I also spent a lot of time looking for guarantees. I finally accepted there are no guarantees. The only thing i’ve ever had, the only thing any of us ever have is today.
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Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!
Just curious, has anyone experienced cellulitis?
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Hi farmerlucy,
Thank you, I really hadn't thought about that part of it - the emotional impact of not taking the tamoxifen. I am a worrier by nature, so that seems very relevant!
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Hello I am new here and new to breast cancer... I had stage 1 with no lymph nodes involved.. I didn't have any chemo or radiation.. I was put on anastrozole and took it for a month and started to get really bad hot flashes and real moody and anxious.I called the doctor and he changed it to exemestane.. it all got worst so after two months I could not do it anymore...Now I am scared that the cancer will come back.. Had to go on zoloft for the depression...Has anyone decided not to take estrogen blockers? Are there anything else I could do???
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Hello I am new here and new to breast cancer... I had stage 1 with no lymph nodes involved.. I didn't have any chemo or radiation.. I was put on anastrozole and took it for a month and started to get really bad hot flashes and real moody and anxious.I called the doctor and he changed it to exemestane.. it all got worst so after two months I could not do it anymore...Now I am scared that the cancer will come back.. Had to go on zoloft for the depression...Has anyone decided not to take estrogen blockers? Are there anything else I could do??? I go back to doctor in a couple of weeks.
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diannemc, welcome to the forum! Hope it's a good place for you to share difficult things, as it is for so many of us.
Can you tell a little bit more about your situation, what size was your cancer, did they do surgery, is it estrogen positive, etc.
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Hi diannemc195,
Welcome! I'm sorry for your diagnosis but I'm glad you found us. I don't have an answer for your question. I'm on Tamoxifen. I've been on it for a little over a year. I see my oncologist Monday. I think there's a chance I will be switched to an aromatase inhibitor. My breast surgeon told me she suspected he would switch me after 2 years. I got my survivorship plan in the mail a few days ago and it had me being switched after a year. So I look for that to happen at this appointment. I was diagnosed pre-menopause. But chemo threw me into menopause. I haven't had a cycle since June of last year. So I will soon be 2 years without a period. I've been pretty lucky on Tamoxifen. I had some hot flashes in the beginning. But nothing too bad. Mostly just at night. The biggest issue I have with it is the weight gain in the in belly area!! I'm doing all the same things I have always done to keep weight off or take weight off to no avail. Nothing is working. I know that can be because of menopause. But it is SO frustrating.
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The cancer was in one breast but had both removed on Aug 3rd...it was estrogen positive ...I did really good after surgery and was facing things good till I got on the medicine and I just fell apart....There are people who go through so much and I can't even handle a pill...!
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diannemc, be kind to yourself. You had a double mastectomy, which is A LOT. Hopefully, you and your doctor can find the AI that works best for you. Gentle hugs.
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Diannemc..Welcome ...I have been on Tamoxifen for over 4 years... Originally my doctor was going to swap me to an Al when I finished going through menopause...but he said because I am having no side effects he won't swap me . Said it makes little difference ...so maybe tamoxifen is worth a try ...We are all different , and have very different side effects from each other .
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I had cancer in one breast but had both removed on Aug 3rd..Did really good and was so positive till I started that medicine and it really messed me up......the cancer was estrogen positive.can't remember the size...I am 61...
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Diannemc - A large percentage of us experience ptsd-like symptoms after active treatment ends which coincides with starting the hormonal. As other have said, go easy on yourself. You’ve been through a lot. We get it.Hugs to you.
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Diannemc - Let me echo others thoughts - Please be kind to yourself! Hope you can work with your team to find a solution. Tamo & the various AIs all have side effects of one sort or another, so it seems to be a try this one, see how it goes, if not good, try another routine.
Re: Working through rads - I think someone here asked me about this. Apologies for delay in responding. Was able to work about 6 hrs a day through rads (16 "regular" and 4 to tumor bed). However, I have a "desk job" so not on my feet as those of you who are teachers would be. I think teaching puts a lot of demands on your "after hours" time as well, whereas I was able to just leave work, 15 min. drive to rad center, then 7 min. drive home. Not sure what kind of distance is involved for others, as this can have a big impact. Husband is retired and was on tap to pamper me once I arrived home. Fatigue seemed to build up as got to 3rd week & was advised by rad techs that this is common. Each one of us is unique & need to find what works best for our needs.
Re: Ohio gals - A native of NE Ohio & now live about 10 miles south of Cincinnati, in N KY.
Gentle hugs to those in need.
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Dianne, Farmer Lucy is totally correct. This is a hard diagnosis with harsh treatments. It's ok to feel what you feel. I was diagnosed with PTSD 3 years ago and it's totally resurfaced with it's darkness and anxiety with BC. I see a therapist, take my meds, and try to remember to breathe. Many of us on here have felt like you do right now and will again. We are here for you. We get it.
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Hi Celia, NW Ohio, middle school teacher. I'm planning on working through rads, it's more work to get ready for a sub than it is to go in.
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Thanks everyone..wish I had found this place sooner!!
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Hi Diannemc,
Welcome but sorry we all have to meet like this. I have been on Anastrozole for almost 18 months. I did have hot flashes and a few night sweats when I first started taking it but after a few months, they pretty much went away. I sometimes am achy in the morning but after I move around a bit, that stops. I already was on Zoloft when I started the Anastrozole so I have no idea what I would be like without my Zoloft! That keeps me on an even keel most of the time or until somebody says something really stupid to me about breast cancer. I also have Xanax (low dose) for when I need a little extra, usually when I get anxious or edgy. But that doesn't happen too often. Biggest issue for me is the memory problems. I'm already 71 so probably it's a combo of the Anastrozole and age, but it sure is frustrating!
I was already on Gabapentin for herniated lumbar discs, so that probably has helped a lot. I still get shooters in my chest area here and there, but it's the nerves and there's not much I can do about them.
I hope they can find something for you to take that will agree with you. I was Stage 1A with no nodes involved, so I will be on Anastrozole for 5 years but my MO says that should be enough.
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