The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Don't know if I've mentioned it on this site, but this is cute. The night before my reduction (not mastectomy!) I asked my DH if he wanted to "kiss the girls good-bye". Okay he said, and tomorrow I'll kiss the twins hello!!!!
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that is cute barbe!
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SandyAust - you get the medal for this comeback
Here's mine: Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.
3jaysmom - I hope you're feeling better today ?
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My mother + sister: " Well I am sure lots of people have lymphedema and they don't stop flying because of it..."
Hmm: do you know anybody with LE? Nope. Didn't think so.
I developed LE in both arms. One arm got involved following a routine short plane flight and now I am stuck wearing sleeves on both.Cost me thousands in sleeves, wrapping, therapy.
Have a job dependent on fine hand work, so you can imagine my fears and issues on a daily basis. So now I avoid flying because I cannot afford the cost of Le therapy after a flare. Too bad I can't avoid doofus relatives...
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Moogie I am so sorry to hear you have LE. I have been fortunate that I have not developed that but my Onc's nse told me several folks got it after plane flights. Ok look out world I will be driving everywhere. I have had to have compression sleeves for my other arm and a leg post op. Those stretchy leggings cut off work well...I bought kids for my arm...and they came in colors. So my arm from the lyphmectomy is fine it is my arm with a crushed wrist from and accident that swells.
If they are like mine, let them have a small ache or pain and it is a medical emergency. My sis lives between doctor appointments looking for a new ailment and pill. You can all laugh...I am a big girl (was 210#) and she dropped me for a test and went to her dr appt cam e back and went to work leaving me at the hospital. I was in the disch lobby and she said she never saw me, could I wait until she got off work at 11pm. Mind you I was ther at 9 am and still ther at 2 pm! Her dtr came to get me at 3pm cause when she talked to mom she had totally forgotten about me. My last hosp stay I waited 2.5 hrs for her to pick me up & this was an emergency,next day she called at 9 am to say they would be there by 1 lets see 5pm was their arrival and when I was discharged I almost had to get a cab cause she was over an hour late! She said I should not be so impatient lots of folks need emergency transfusions no big deal!
I just fear getting really sick and i just spent 5 days in hospital, so the onc and i have a goal of more tests at the office and keep me well!
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joanneasiata wrote:
My favorite is oh my mum( or who ever ) had breast cancer and she died .
Nice, thanks for that!
Kaz12 wrote
I've had this before. I just stare blankly at the person. Why do they say that? Later, or even just after they say it, do they ever think to themselves "that was a really stupid thing to say"? I would. What's a really good reply to that?
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"Why would you tell me that?", said in a horrified tone.
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yeah.....but I have also had people say "my mom is going through that right now" so I have been able to respond with "please feel free to pass along my email or phone number if she needs some support or wants to know about a great on line resource"....it is starting to balance out the idiot comments.
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I can relate Kaz - as I felt so awful for many days after I had confided to someone about my BC and their response was: "my mother had BC, went into her pharynx & she's passed now". I just about gagged at how insensitive that person was
Now, I'm afraid of telling anyone coz they're all so keen on wanting to share their own horror stories and not even bother asking on how WE are doing.
Also looking for a very good comeback to that one
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I'm afraid that when the last person started to tell me about someone they knew I interupted them at "Had" and told them that this particular point in time I am not ready to deal with stories about other cancer "patients". Perhaps not polite but it shut her up. And since she is such a gossip perhaps it will ward off others.
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Good one Chabba...I have been saying "well anyway..go get a mammogram" and then I change the subject
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I find people don't really know "what" to say so I often hear people say dumn things such as "look at it this way your going to get perky new boobs!" I guess you have to look at their intention. If they are trying to say the right thing then I don't get angry. Afterall who hasn't said the wrong thing from time to time..we are all "works in progress". But one thing I have to admit that I find hard is when I confide in someone about how difficult my symptoms of the tamoxifen are (including effecting my mood) and they respond "really?" "I" didn't have that and also they know other people who just had hot flashes too..no issues with the meds at all.. huh.. I mean I'm glad for them but my symptoms are real..thankyou
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OMG .. I almost forgot this..I LOVE it (not) when a person says they know someone who got cancer ..just went in for a little surgery ..had the breast removed ..just takes a pill each day and is doing great..couldn't care a less about what happened..hasn't effected her at all!! REALLY...really??? O yeah and at the surgeons office there is a poster on the wall that compares a woman to a plant that is pruned! HELLO
LOL
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SandyAust- you are so right- animals just know..and her poor doggie is the most miserable little pooch I know:( One time we had this guy who laid tile for my husband's company...he was really talented but really a screwed up human being...our great dane (who passed a few years ago:( never liked him and one night he came by for his check and was standing on our front porch...while he was blabbing--away about something negative Atlas calmly walked up and lifted his leg and peed on his foot!@ Atlas weighed about 130 lbs....and was fully housetrained. We all just stood there in shock, the guy shook his foot and said, well, ok, I guess I'll go now...funniest thing I have ever seen in my life- I gave Atlas an extra biscuit:)
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yeah- there certainly seems to be an extreme at either end for the majority of folks when talking to someone who has had BC- it is either the "oh, well thank your lucky stars you only got BC and not a bad cancer" or at the other end "I knew someone who HAD....and of course, they are dead and gone after a horrible slow death"
I have to believe for most they are not hearing what they are saying...not truly trying to be insensitive...
I had to tell this gal in another department yesterday it was ok to talk normal with me, that I was not planning on keeling over any minute...she is sweet but looks at me with complete and utter fear....talks ina real hushed voice and says "How are you?" I told her unless my doc called you and told you something is up, it is all looking pretty ok:) I felt kind of bad but it was really getting annoying....
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Tammy - think it is time someone told your dr. to take the tree poster down! which part of the tree was pruned??!
Annette- love the dog story....animals do indeed know...
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Hadley, will do
Annette - I always wondered why my precious pooh (may he rest in peace) would pee on some people and not on others
A friend passed this on to me, I thought I'd share (this being Sunday is totally coincidental....)
Anyway
People are often unreasonable, illogical, ...and self-centered....Forgive them anyway
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives...Be kind anyway
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies..Succeed anyway
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.. Be honest and frank anyway
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight...Build anyway
If you find serenity and happiness, there may be jealousy...Be happy anyway
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow...Do good anyway
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough...Give the world the best you've got anyway
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God...It was never between you and them anyway
I say, Amen
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Luan, I head that years ago and was happy to see that again as I LOVE the last line!!
Tammy, if I was only pruned, when do they start to grow again? It's been 2 1/2 years and except for truncal LE on the cancer side...I got nothin'! Tell that doc to get that poster down because it has now offended ladies all the way to Canada!
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tcam: I just read your post about Tamox and other people's comments about the med not being a problem. The same thing happened to me. When I took Tamox, I had such awful SE's after about a month and the SE's wouldn't go away, I ended up stopping the med. My body just can't tolerate it. I told a friend of mine what happened to me on the Tamox and her response to me was "oh, I have girlfriends that have taken it and none of them had issues with it!" I then said that I did and that bad SE's can be rare. She then made the same comment again...like I was making it up. For Pete's sakes, any med can cause SE's. I've gotten kind of choosy about who I talk to now about my treatment, etc.
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Same here Barb, love the punch line (no pun intended) 0
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luan- that was great...thanks for sharing that
DIane...you are so right...if anybody knows anybody that didn't have a hard time then obviously you are lying ahaahaha..nervous wreck here...have to have PET/CT scanin morning...before I see on onc on wednesday...to rule out little spots too small to classify on liver that showed up on CT scan before my BMX - orginal onc and BS said B9- this doc said we have to rule out that they have not changed..so I am freaking big time...i would freak if i didn't get them checke dout but dammit...i am scared and not sure what to do...i mean i will get it done but my brain is frizzed completely out...
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Hi Annette, know that i'm with u
) Seems that all
those follow up exams will never end and the waiting
for results either. its a good thing u're getting a PET which
will rule out the worse i'm sure and give u peace of
mind. We'll all be waiting for u tomorrow to let us knoq
how it went. Now feet up, deep breaths and nice sips
of something warm. Sweet dreams0 -
Annette- Do you have a pocket ? Tuck us all in there next to the questions you have written down to ask the dr. and we will keep you calm.
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Best of Luck tomorrow Annette.
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i 'll be praying for good results, tommorrow.. 3jays
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i'll put on on some overalls and you can all jump in...
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All righty- I am joining you in the bib so don't squash me with your tape recorder if you do!
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Okay Anne---jumping in-- Luans advice is on top of it. And your Doc is on top of it. Everyone's advice on top of it. Your going to have an answer shortly. It's better to have answer now than months from now. Wish I could take your worry from you and keep it so you didn't have it on your mind. SAS
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Hi , I have a good one. Today while doing chemo, there is a causal onc RN that works when needed and took care of me about year or so ago. She said hi and I said hello Beth, she was surprised I knew her name but when you have that occasional nurse that I call the paycheck nurse, I remember her attitude. She said to me "Oh your still here" Duh... how insensitive. I picked up my foot and said I don't think there is an expiration date on the bottom of my feet! Dawn
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China--GOOD FOR YOU! Great comeback!
travelgal--next time you run into your "friend" ask her how she is doing--I'll bet you dollar to donuts that she had a medical condition and takes a medication, they YOU can say "I knew someone taking that med, they died." Or if you are feeling a bit kinder: "I knew someone who took that med, it didn't do them any good at all." Doesn't matter what the med is, there are good and bad reactions to ALL medications!
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