The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Susan...........Maybe the magic word is "my husband's family".......................I feel so bad for you, and girlfriend you do whatever makes you comfortable........Don't worry about anyone else.......Tell him you will wear your wig, if he will wear a "jock strap", under his pants continuously....................
I did not have to have chemo, but when I didn't know that I said to my girls, "I don't think I will ever be able to wear a wig, they are itchy, hot, and ridiculous......I was going back to probably 25 years ago when wigs were in, and I wore one, and hated the damn thing...My kids ended up using it for halloween........hugs girlfriend, your beautiful
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People who have not gone through this don't realize it's a life-changing event - it's forever! Your DH needs to step back and look at the whole picture - take a tour through a cancer treatment center or maybe St. Judes for an eyeopener. We are all fighting hard to find "normal" but our normal will never be the same as it was - it will be better!!!!
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Susan, I know how maddening and hurtful it is for someone to tell you that you have to feel a certain way by a certain time. Or expect you to plaster on a big smile and go back to how you were before. They have no clue how much this changes you. "New normal" is right. I'm never going to be the person I was before. That old me had never had cancer and all the stresses that go with treatment. Everything in our lives shapes us, for better or for worse. Or for just different.
I wanted to clarify I'm not a nurse; I'm a Respiratory Therapist. But still, 42 rooms to cover in a hospital with an insanely large proportion of our patients having pulmonary issues is physically difficult as well as stressful.
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wow Susan!!!im so sorry you had to experience that STUPID moment that your husband had.. he absolutely need a AA...attitude adjustment!
ive encountered all kinds of stuff/re hair, no hair.. the answer is what these ladies have said... your head, your life, your REALITY!!! men jeesh....
sending the bus for all of us with a crappy Easter! 3jays
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cmon ladies, give em the old heave ho!!!! 3jays 0 -
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Susan , so sorry his brain wasn't connected. pj123 is right, men are wired differently. Not all are this unkind. Mine couldn't have been kinder. There are men on the board that prove there not all alike. Makes you wonder what the difference between the idiots and the sweeties is? I wonder if that has been studied?
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For all those that said nice things about nursing and respiratory therapist and other medical people---------thanks. It's the patients that keep the nurses going when you know that whatever your trying to do to make things better. I won't get started on nurse managers, but there were only two things I asked for forgiveness before my husbands funeral one was related to him --------the other for harboring serious hatred for my 2nd last nurse manager --still have to work on that one----------3 jays put her under the bus for me thanks0
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I am very new to this club. Just diaganosed on 4/13/11. Had biospy on 4/20/11. am still waiting on results. Tumor is lobular and large (5 cm by 5 cm , by 2 cm) Fear of mets in lymph nodes> I am terrified, but this site has already helped me out so very much. This post was esp. helpful. People really DO say such stupid stuff. UGH! I was told that if it was going to happen to anyone at least it was me, because I am strong! Another favorite... "Are you sure its cancer? " dummies, just plain dummies!
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Julliebell22----------suffering with imbeciles. At least here you can look for past posts to come up with post attack phrases. Another site that deals with the absurd is OMG They Found a Cure for Cancer. ---------
Try and take it one day at a time------Ask for some Ativan It can take the edge off and let you get some sleep. There isn't anyone here that wouldn't be available to you through PM if you need that.(((((H))))))----You made the right move to come here to the discussion boards early. I didn't for quite sometime--------didn't know about it.
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Mostly mom...i LOVE that bus, and TOTALLY stole it! we can squezze the life right outta them! thanks... 3jays
welcome to the club we never wanted to be in,Julibell!!!! 3jays
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Great bus! Belongs right next to the bus we throw idiotic people under!
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glad you found us Juliebell- sorry you had to but somehow, we all manage to help each other through it all...which is no small thing.
I love the bus- my goodness it is one of the best I have ever seen-I am taking it with me to Atlanta tomorrow afternoon in case I need it....I have no idea why I am scared or nervous to talk in front of a crowd wed afternoon- I LOVE to talk- but this is the first time since the BC DX and am wondering if off my game. Lots of pressure to *perform* as the guys are usually fairly dry and the boss has me finish up...Ack...not to mention my nemesis will be along- jerk extroidnaire <sp>,,,I have to block him out but sometimes hard and I am scared I may BLOW or find a real bus and toss him under it...and then....the most important thing hahaha not sure what to wear (is that not silly?) I tend to dress business with an edge and rightnow I feel like wearing a moomoo hahahaha...anyway..just rambling here with free form crap....hope everyone had a good monday
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Annettek------------go get 'em girl---------your probably already gone, but your nemesis is probably many people's nemesis------------they tend to be narcissitichateful people that take the joy away from as many people as possible. Cluck'em
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Guess I'm tired of people saying "oh its just a man thing".........Well maybe "men", should start to think before they open up their "pie holes".................No, things don't get back to "normal" once you have experienced cancer...........they can never be "normal", again if a man's version of "normal" is the way it was before cancer............cancer changes your life completely.........this morning at 9am, I would have been watching Dr. Oz. while having a cup of coffee, instead I was under a radiatiobn machine.......for the first time in my life........On February 14th I wasn't.........so how can you say go back to "normal"...........and for the next 32 days I will not see Dr. Oz. at 9am, I will be under that same radiation machine again....................No "pity party" here, my message is "think before you talkl "asshole", that is about as nice as I can be on the get back to "normal" issue..............Susan we have your back girlfriend, and don't let anyone tell you again, get back to "normal"..........Consider the source..........hugs to you .
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Ducky- how did your first session go???? A weird new normal but if you can get the same times and put it in as part of a routine, somehow it goes faster....becomes part of your day for the month you hav eto do it..and it will be mid-may when you are done....summer! (ok trying to find a positive spin beside the it will help save your life spin)
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Susan, here's what I would have done....you don't like the scarf? Okay, I won't wear it...wait for me in the car sweetie, I'll just be a sec (he thinks you're putting the wig on) and then appear in the car commando!!
See, even the smiley's are commando! hehehehehehe 0 -
Sandeeonherown........Know this is kind of a different subject for this thread, but want you to know I did fine, and I do have the 9am slot everyday, and my son in picking up my lottery tickets which was suggested.........He is getting me 33.......
On another note....on the 3rd hum today of the machine, I felt an odd sensation in the area of the nipple, thought "now your imagining things goofy, they said you would feel nothing.............then when the moved the machine for the second "shot"........on the 3rd hum I felt it again...didn't hurt, just an odd sensation........thought now that's crazy.......when done I asked the girl if I am goofy, or did something happen...........she said some women have told them the exact same thing, but they can't explain why it happened..................I thought good, I'm not nuts..........but of course if something "odd" was going to happen it would be "me"..............Luck of the Irish I guess...............thanks for checking in with me.....hugs.
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Love Barbe's suggestion
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OMG, girls I can't believe all of you responded to my post. I wrote it thinking that if I put my feelings on paper it would help me get over it. What really helped me though is all the kind words you have all said. Thank you so much!
I0 days after I finished Taxotere my hair feel out the second time. That was probably harder than losing it the first time because I wasn't expecting it at all. If I had gone commando, if I had thought to go commando, me and the smileys are just about even! No hair no where!
I love the 33 lottery tickets too. I hope one day is a winner for you!
Susan
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Hey how about if Susan turns DH over the the Breast Cancer Gals, and let us take care of him.....................I'm first in line..........hahahhahahhahahahha
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barbe
That is always the first question I am asked? For the people that know me Im always hearing....Have you quit? Grrrrrrrrrr!
hugs to ya!
AJ
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Susan, the sad thing is that he probably felt everyone would be uncomfortable with such an obvious visible reminder of what you are going through. I don't know why men get embarrassed as this kind of stuff as women we get used to things pretty quick and the guys should just "man up"! Heck, we handle big bellies and stretch marks and sagging boobs and all the great stuff we deal with every day. I like the idea of someone who said to warn him not to lose HIS hair, as you'd expect a "rug"! hehehehehe
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As my best friend would say "tell him to put his big boy pants on"...and then 'man up'...I know it is hard on them....I have been told by my 'ex' that he knows how I feel because he went through this in his twenties when they thought he had cancer...really? you know how I feel? so when my breast is aching every night...you know how that feels? when I get pangs of weird, unexplained pain...scar tissue forming or breast healing or scar pulling....you know how I feel? when I wake up alone and afraid and wonder what has happened to my body...you know how I feel? Because really>??....I don't think so.
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Couldn't have said it better Sandeeon her own ...........my husband has been dead for 20 years, and honestly I ' m not sure how he would have handled this if he were alive........he never handled anything well, other then his own cancer, and that was a God send, but not sure about me, like I said he did not handle illness well.
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First, Sandee, this is for you (meant seriously, not sarcastically):
And THIS is for him:
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Riley!!! LOVE IT!!! Thank you for both.....and on that note, I am goign to shower and go in to work early...awake now anyhow. Thank you. you made my day!
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love the ball smacking the other ! If only we could do that to certain guys that need it!
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My husband liked it when I wore my wig - he was kind of the same way. He just wanted our lives to - be back to normal I think. So, I mostly humored him. Now my hair is long again and he loves it. My feeling was that if it made him feel better it was o.k. - I don't blame you for being angry at all - and wigs do suck -but maybe he is sad too. Everyone who is involved with us is affected by our illnesses.
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The person sending PMs promoting their cancer "cure" is back as 'paulajohnson62'. "ALL" she wants is $100!!! I'm reporting her. How many IDs is that now? Beware of:
Annajohnson
Susansmith57
susansmith24
paulajohnson62
Sheesh.
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