The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
-
Hi girls,
I've been reading this for a while and couldn't believe how insensitive people can be! But now I have my couple words to add.
When I told my boss about the dx, he said that he would be on my side, I can take as much time as I need... and all those words that made me feel really good. But couple days later he came to me and asked to be honest. When I asked what he meant, he said: when things go bad (not IF, WHEN!!!) let me know in advance, I want you to train your replacement... I was speachless...
0 -
Zaraza--- what a wiener !
0 -
Kathy, she sounds she has been jealous of you and likes to slam you because of her own insecurities. That being said, she is a stupid bitch. Feel free to buy her a copy of Dr. Susan Love's Breast Cancer book. Tell her that she caused your breast cancer because she stresses you out, and that you also read a study that sisters of breast cancer patients often get anal-vagina cancer.
0 -
I just had a double mastectomy on Friday. As I was lying on the hospital bed waiting to be put asleep for the surgery a nurse came in to let me know they would be getting started shortly. She asked me why I was there and I told her I had breast cancer. She said, "We've lost so many to that disease." I have gotten a lot of the death stories since being diagnosed, but this one was by far the worst because I was already terrified and about to go into surgery. Way to go nurse.
0 -
UGH! That is a not a nurse---it is a NIMROD! Just what an anxious person needs to hear on the way into surgery.
Everybody feels compelled to tell a doomsday story, and I never know why. We need a NIMROD BUTTON that we can give out at will---THE STERLING NIMROD AWARD FOR A MOST INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT !
0 -
This happened to me a while ago but you'll get a laugh anyway. I had bi-lateral nipple surgery that day & ran into some people who had been told by a friend that I had BC. She came running up & went to hug me & I said "oh sorry, no hugs today, I've just had a procedure done" (she never wanted to hug me before) & she got quite indignant & said, "that's right, no hugs, I just had acupuncture" She has ignored me ever since. Oh well, her loss...
0 -
Calevorse.---That nurse needs someone to talk to her. Talk to her supervisor she can talk to her directly and/or bring it up at a staff meeting as a discussion of what to say and not say to patients. All people in a work situation forget what prople are going through who have never been through it before. The story changes real fast when they have a family memeber going through the scenario. Take her to the Bonfires of the Goddesses----and through her in the fire. Very therapeutic
0 -
kathy - my guess would be that your sister is now probably scared to death SHE will get cancer but if she rationalizes in her own brain that YOU caused it yourself, then she is "safe." Whatever, some people are just jerks!
calavorse - I would definately report that remark to the nursing supervisor! SO inappropriate!
sandee - surgery tomorrow @ 1pm - feeling good - spent the day running errands & cleaning like mad! Eating watermelon before the fast begins...
Rhea
0 -
I think I am going to tell my surgeon about her tomorrow during my post-op check up. I know people think they are being helpful, but I don't see what is helpful/encourgaing about saying that.
0 -
moogie- my brother in law is NOTORIOUS for writing stupid letters about stupid stuff LOL- it like in their own head the word revolves around them so why wouldnt we want to hang on to their "words of wisdom" I hope you trasjed the letter!
0 -
WICKWACK...GOOODLUCK!!! fEEL FREE TOOBORROW SOME OFMYLUCK TOMORROW. IT CLEARLY WORKED FOR ME WITHTHE LEAR MAMOGRAM!
\WWWHHHAAE
0 -
Wickwack--------here's to great surgical experience -----no complications, And a great recovery. I'm raising my glass and offering a toast. (Clink on the screen). Done.
mmmmm now the screens all wet, guess i was to agressive LOL
0 -
How about "Now you'll find out what a warm heart feels like!"
0 -
seems we needed one today, for sure!!!!3jays 0 -
3jays- that bus always brings a smile to my face!
0 -
wickwack, That makes sense to me, hadn't really thought of it in that way before. Thanks for your insight!
0 -
I am very new to this. How do I get to the Bonfire of the Goddesses thread. Pardon my ignorance!
0 -
Calevorse,
I am so sorry that nurse said that to you. She should definitely be reported! Maybe she just lost a close friend or family member to breast cancer, but that doesn't excuse that insensitive comment. Shame on her!
0 -
Kathy, the link is: http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/7/topic/763848?page=38#idx_1139
If that doesn't work, it's on the "moving beyond cancer" forum.
Enjoy!
Leah
0 -
Calevorse,
As a RN since 1983 and a bc survivor for just over a year, I do think you truly should report that nurse if you can remember her name or how she looks. Insensitive is a woefully inadequate word.
She was totally unprofessional in asking why you were in hospital, and if she was so stupid to not know why you were there, then she should of kept her mouth shut!
Last year when I was admitted for my first lumpectomy I couldn't stop crying. As the nurse prepared me for surgery he said 'why are you crying?". Gee, think facing your own mortality alone in a hospital room would surely do it. My blood pressure was very elevated and he just said to me I should try and calm down. Oh how I wanted to throttle him. After surgery, when I asked for pain relief another nurse said I shouldn't have pain as the incision wasn't very big. I got out my mobile phone and called my bs directly for pain relief. Then the nurse came in and said I shouldn't of done that and I actually told her to go take a 'flying fucking leap off a very high cliff'.
That nurse will continue to be insensitive unless it is brought to the supervisors attention, and even then, you can't change the nature of a person but you might help the next patient.
Buckle up, you will find in the coming weeks many people saying strange things to you. Maybe that's why from the time I got my diagnosis until after I finished radiation, I became a recluse and stayed at home as much as I could.
I would like to believe some people are truly stupid, not meaning to be hurtful...........
0 -
Thanks, Leah. Found it!
Kathy
0 -
Debbie you are my hero!!! I've never been that brave, though have wanted to at times, but I've always been afraid to anger someone who has the right to administer my pain meds....
0 -
justagirl and kath9572-Thank you for the support and understanding about why it was so troubling. It sounds like your experience in the hospital was awful justagirl! I wish now I had been as strong as you were and said something immediately. I am more someone who thinks of all the things they should have said the next day when it doesn't matter anymore. She is the second nurse I've run into that has completely surprised me. The other was a chemo nurse who was filling in for my usual nurse. She was so rough and rude. She scratched my portacath and was so aggressive about the needle that my portacath hurt for days. She rushed my chemo from 3 hours to 2 hours which made me a lot sicker and she complained about having to "drive all the way out here" for one patient and made me drive 30 minutes out of my way to get the shot the next day so she wouldn't have to do it again. Also, once she pulled the needle out there was some blood which she put cotton guaze over. She turned to get a bandaid and the guaze fell into the chair. I picked it up and held it out to her and she said, "Put it on! You're bleeding!" I said, "It fell and it's contaminated." She sighed in exasperation, snatched the quaze out of my hand and still used it to dab my portacath. I went home in tears I was so angry. All the other people I have met have been so nice and wonderful. I just don't understand why a nurse who feels that way about her job would continue to work there. I get nervous about complaining, and I know you guys will think I'm silly, but it's because I want my doctors and nurses to LOVE me. I know that it is their job to treat me and that they are required to do their job, but I feel like if I'm a really good patient they will do it with extra love and care. What if I report someone and they then think I'm a sqeauky wheel? Think about your favorite barista at your coffee shop. They are required to make every drink exactly to standard, and every drink they make is good. But that barista puts extra love and focus into the coffee when it's for one of their favorite customers. Even though they never do anything wrong, the coffee for their favorite tastes a little smoother. Silly, I know, but it is what keeps my mouth shut.
0 -
Calevorse- chemo and cancer care is a money making and competive business in some places. Chemo and cancer care places are sending me surveys and there are surveys where I can get info to the care center about my treatment. I have made a complaint to my insurance company about care etc. Very effective. They are working for you . Anyone who is willing to pit you at risk for contamination and infection needs a good talking too and a get spanked. HARD.
0 -
GREAT topic!
I had this 'friend'...I say friend in quotes because he seemed to think he was the friend of all friends or a boyfriend or something! Ok, so we slept together occassionally but we were never together. He would get on my nerves because he knew everything about everything. He did have some nice qualities though that I tried to look at more than his negatives. In February we went for a hike. It was a lame hike and yet he was huffing and puffing *rolling my eyes*. Anyway after we went on that hike I got really busy like I do EVERY late winter early spring. I've got teenage daughters and I'm one of those school moms, I help with everything. So weekend after weekend I have stuff to do and during the week I was so busy. He would call everyday at the same time to 'check in' when he was leaving work. Whatever...you have no life. Anyway as my whole cancer stuff was progressing he got increasingly defensive of my 'attitude'. I might add that he's a huge hypochondriac. If he got the sniffles, it was swine flu. Seriously... So after my partial mastectomy, maybe three days after, I get an email that says...'You must be feeling better now because you are ignoring me again.'
Really? So I emailed him back and said...no I'm not but so we can set the record straight, you may officially say as of today and from now that I am ignoring you.
Seriously?
Oh...and I'm going back in on Monday for a double mastectomy.
Michelle
0 -
I am sick to death of people...
upon returning to work, and entering my 6th week of rads,, alot of people ask me "how are you doing" and instead of the ole "fine" i tell them, " i'm really tired and having a hard time getting it together everyday. like housework, and working etc."
and every single time the other person says"
"oh yeah, well i'm tired EVERYDAY. I have the same problem and i don't even have cancer"
fuck...off!
0 -
Britchick,
abso-fucking-lutely!!!
0 -
Calavorse--------aaYESS I'M YELLING----------THAT NURSE OUGTH TO BE FIRED, AND A COMPLAINT MADE TO THE NURSING BOARD OF THE STATE OR PROVINCE SHE IS IN. SHE BY HER ACTIONS HAS PUT YOU AT RISK FOR INFECTION AND INFUSING DRUGS FASTER THAN RECOMMENDED CAN KILL SOMEONE, OR AT THE VERY LEAST CAUSE COMPLICATIONS. NEVER ALLOW HER NEAR YOU AGAIN----------SHE IS THE POOREST EXCUSE FOR A NURSE THAT I HAVE HEARD OF IN A LONG TIME------------------------YOU HAVE EVERY FRIGGING RIGHT TO BE UPSET. Shit. whew. Blow it out ---deep breath. Please make as many complaints as you can------her company, the parent company, the ceo, and the state board. People die from such things, and if she's doing it to you she's doing it to others. DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU ARE THE SQUEAKY WHEEL--------YOU MUST BE A SQUEAKY WHEEL---------SHE IS A MENANCE. THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE DOES WITH STERILE EQUIPMENT BEHIND YOUR BACK, WHEN YOU KNOW SHE DOESN'T GIVE A CARE WHEN YOU ARE LOOKING. Okay deep breath ---------blow it out-------get calm----GET THE BITCH FIRED.-ps I'm a nurse ---this is serious business
0 -
TO SAS--- xoxoxoxoxoox
0 -
Wow....that is all I can say here....you get back coffee baristas, teachers, doctors and nurses...only difference is with the nurse, you are totally vulnerable and looking for comfort.if they are having a bad day, they should STAY the frig home! So sorry you folk shave experienced this crap. Seriously....calevorse, good for you for going over her head!
0
