The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Most hospitals and health care facilites are, or should be accredited by The Joint Commision (JCAHO). You can go to their website and register a complaint against a facitlity if you feel your health/ safety was put at risk. You can do it anonymously or attach your name. I don't do anything anonymously, so when I registered a complaint against the facility where my MX took place I let them know how they could reach me. They look into all complaints but they will not let you know any outcomes of investigations. Remember....You have to be your own healthcare adovocate. That's my 2 cents for what its worth. joann
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Angelbaby-----------they haven't got a clue from their worst nightmare or worst experience in their life what you have been through. Regretfully, the odds are against them that they will not have something radical in thier life. So, let it go. It's causing too much strife in your own life. You have a wonderful husband and supportive family. Think about what it meant to your DAD's finances to give you 500$. You and I both know that was huge to them. Don't waste athought on fools.
My standard line after sleeping in cervical traction for 3 years and constant pain all day long in the 70's ---age 25 to 28, ----- Was ----- "Walking and talking and any day you can do that is a good day" and smile and walk away. No one can come back with a response to that one. I've been using it for what---35+years. Never ever failed me.
One thing I did seriously learn the hard way--------do not try to have sex while in cervical traction. Our phrase , used to be after that one AND only time was "Dear i'm going to hang up now"
Bottom line is truly, any day that you can walk and talk is a good day. Not being preachy, just being happy to be able to get out of bed when I want to, walk to where I want too. Making choices that I want too. I'm PTSD so there are days I choose to do nothing, stay in bed , have no human contact, Take the phone off the hook, Have one too many drinks and smoke too many cigarettes.------------Not bad lines to a song. Angel------cluckem----love you sweetie
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well said sas!! i think i will use that line next time someone asks me how i am doing.
i think i have ptsd tooo, good lord, who doesn't who has been through this??
i am finding rads were a breeze the first 5 weeks, but week 6 and i know week7 are and will be hell. i don't know if it's as bad as chemo, but it's its own kind of bad ....
bleh......
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Sewingnut-----joann. A JCACHO complaint -----is Huge------------If JACHO validates a complaint , a hospital or homecare can loose Medicare funding. If a facility looses Medicare funding almost all other insurance will disaprove that facility for reimbursement i.e. NO MONEY
Yup Joanns right add it to the list---------Thank you Joanne forgot that one
To make it easy write one letter describe the circumastances. Put it in the body of the letter whom you are sending it too. Then in CC, at bottom still add there names. Copy it and check each CC as you put it in the envelope. Keep master copy for your lawyer. I sooooooo wish I were a lawyer I'd make a huge wage------going after these numb-nuts.
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One more thing. When you write a letter, keep emotion out of it. The best letters are ones that explain what happened and any outcomes of actions. Non emotional letters will be looked at more objectively. Be clear and concise. Hope you nail her a@@ to the wall. If she did that to you how many others has it been done to?
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might also help to write the emotional one and save it so you can let it out...and then write the objective one...
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Had a friend and a good friend at that ask me today " So when is your next surgey and what for"? I explained a reconstruction revision to which her reply was... " oh just reconstruction so all the cancers gone thats good".... They just dont get it none of this is JUST.. my only reply back was.. " thats the hope".
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Tink ----------like I said before they will only "get it" once they have gone through it----cluckem
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lol..thats right SAS cluckem... love it!
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Oh no!
I just deleted my last post about the insensitve nurses who ask why you are in the hospital and withhold pain meds.
I got a note saying I violated the community rules. Maybe because I used a swear word and didn't **** it out. Maybe because I spoke from being a nurse for almost 30 years and what would of happened if I had done such a thing to a patient as withhold prescribed pain medication or been verbally insensitve and my supervisor knew. The one thing a nurse can give is care, sympathy and pain medications as prescribed.
I am sorry for who I have offended but not for what I said.
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WELL HERE I GO -------------SREAMING AGAIN ----JUSTAGIRL--------i WOULD ENTIRELY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR COMPLAINT WAS. PAIN CONTROL IS A HUGE ISSUE. I HAVE BEEN A PAIN ADVOCATE MY ENTIRE NURSING LIFE. THOSE THAT HAVE NOT HAVE PAIN ON A SHORT TERM OR CHRONIC NATURE ---------ARE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN LIFE, WHY YOU GOT DELETED -------WELL GO ASK THE MODS>>>>>GO TO FORUMS >>. GO TO MODS CONTACT US
I will also ask the Mods what words we cannot use. The oddity in this is all the words that the average American uses has been in the dictionary for decades. Words can be only included in the dictionary if they have been in the vernacular(spoken word) for at least_(i think 20 years----x number of years determined by people that study the lexicon which is the spoken word of a population. All the words we are talking about are in the dictionary, ERGO we should not be prohibited from using them. So why you were prohibited makes no sense. Okay I'm Pissed let's go FIRST AMMENDMENT RIGHTS-----------------I'll be back I'm going to tak to the mods------thay have to take a stand and publish words that can't be used ------then they have do defend it -according to the constituition------------------Get me on hot anger night and do not mess with my constitiounal rights
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sas-schatzi,
First, I didn't get deleted but got a warning from the 'control' unit that someone had complained about my post and they were 'reviewing' it - I had broken the Community Rules. They were going to look further at what I wrote and decide if they were going to delete it. So.....I deleted my comment myself! I did use one word in a quote of what I said..........
I wasn't complaining, only stating facts. As a nurse for almost 30 years, having worked in the emergency room, labour and delivery, Intensive, Surgical and Cardiac Care Units, as well as Multpile Trauma Unit and in surgery area where you are before surgery and after (but never in the operating room/theatre) I know quite well what is acceptable care from a nurse. A nurse should be a nurturer, Number One, and a reliever of pain, Number Two (and this falls within what is ordered by the doctor).
I don't know if I got in trouble for saying it's really sad when a nurse says insensitive things to a patient, and it's a double whammy to a breast cancer patient, as bc not only attacks our body, but our femminity, our soul and our sanity, life and family.
Maybe I got in trouble for saying I told a nurse off using what my mother would of termed an impolite word but is commonly used today, every day. The nurse told me I shouldn't have pain after my lumpectomy when I asked for something for pain relief. I had no where else to turn and I couldn't catch my breath it hurt so much. Calling my husband at home wouldn't of helped. I was bad and called my breast surgeon directly on my mobile phone and asked her if I could have something for the pain. She said she had ordered the medication and wasn't it working - I just told her exactly what the nurse told me - I didn't need it, but asked if something was wrong with me because it really hurt and I couldn't catch my breath. Wow, I know I made that nurse angry, I could tell when she brought my pain medication in!
Calm down, and thank you!
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As a nurse who is studying to become certifed as a Pain Specialist, I am appalled to hear that a nurse withheld pain medication. Pain is what the patient says it is, occuring when the patient says it does. One basic pain management principle is to give pain med at the first sign of pain. It's much easier to control pain from the least intensity than from a higher intensity. Patients who get pain meds PROMPTLY when they ask actually use less medication overall. Anxiety and emotional upset make pain worse. Denying someone pain medication and telling them they don't need it is only going to make mild pain severe! That nurse MUST be reported! SAS--GOOD FOR YOU FOR CALLING THE SURGEON! So what if the nurse is mad--you can ask for another and explain why, such requests MUST be honored if at all possible. I know its hard when you are drugged up and frightened, but the more it happens the better everyone's care will get.
OK, getting off the soap box now.
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Maybe off topic but I just have to tell this story...
About ten years ago a patient was in a major Orlando, Florida hospital. The family felt the patient was in distress and could not get nurses to come to the room. So they called 911. Paramedics responded and WOW, was the hospital embarrassed. Made all the nightly news channels.
Heads rolled and policies were changed. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.:)
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I LIKE that story!
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pj123-that's a great story!
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sas-Sounds like we need more nurses like you!
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just agirl--so sorry I didn't get back to you --the mods got right back to me ----i asked if i could C&P response which sent there response back I think . I'll post this now and go and recheck my pm's
edit for mods response that i should have posted before this because their response was almost immediate , but i forgot where itwasto go. My fault not theirs.
Hi SAS:
Whoa! You've got it wrong here. Moderators did not delete her post, justagirl says herself that she was the one who deleted it: "I just deleted my last post about the insensitve nurses who ask why you are in the hospital and withhold pain meds."
She said in the second post: "I got a note saying I violated the community rules." That means that someone reported her post. Just reported it, that's all. The system sends out automated messages to let posters know if they have been reported. In this case, likely someone was troubled by the language, but merely clicking the Report link doesn't mean that the post is against the rules, just that someone doesn't like a word.
We know that members use strong language sometimes, and we understand that. Other members might be troubled by it and click Report though.
Judith and the BCO team
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So sorry to the MODS and everyone here that I didn't repost it as soon as I received a response.
Just a girl------your new to the boards I have no idea what someone didn't like , but cluck'em. Do not let it keep you from expressing your opinion . You found allot of people supporting you.
The Mods are great at tolerating right of free speech. Whomever hit the report button Cluck'em. I personally and I think those that have shown support for you would like to know what you said .Particularally since several of us are nurses and huge advocates of pain management
SO, Please repost what you said. Thanks sasPlease send me a pm when you do -----memory issues thanks sas
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mcrhon-michelle ---------good job recognized a user and got rid of him early
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I'm sorry, but it never ceases to amaze me that some women get all fussied up over language. GROW UP!!!!! We have cancer!!! CANCER!!!! Maybe you don't. If you don't, then leave the Forums!!!!! When you get cancer, you'll understand the BIG words!!!!!
There! Got that out! Phew!
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I am newly dx'd. Trying to find answers. A little mothering would help. I told my mom I can't sleep well and she asked why. i told her the big decisions facing me, etc. She said "Yes, but why can't you sleep?
??Next she said "Well, just don't think about it before bed."
Next she said "Celebrate that you are cancer free, and don't worry about the rest" (The rest being the tx I have to figure out in order to REMAIN cancer free)
She doesn't get it.
And the dumbest thing she said is that she hasn't had a mammogram in at least 6 years. Yes, her mother had bc and her daughter now has bc. grrrr
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Hi,
I did use a strong word in the post that the moderators said had been reported, so feeling bad, as I sure don't want to upset anyone posting or reading here, I deleted it rather than be censored.
Sas-schatzi, I just had quoted what I had said to a nurse in response to an answer I was given and I did use a swear word.
I do think having BC has made me much more sensitive and aware of what I say but that doesn't mean I will let someone verbally be insensitive or deny me medical care. I am not just another patient - I am me and every day of my life is precious and I won't be belittled for having pain I can't tolerate.
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See, now that's what kills me. When someone says to me "What, you think the world revolves around you?" Inside, I'm like 'uh huh, who does YOUR world revolve around?????'
Shouldn't WE be the centre of our worlds????
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The last time someone asked me if I thought the world revolved around me I said "Yes, it does while I'm getting cancer treatment. And I resent that YOU are making money off MY diagnosis." Funny, I never saw that tech in the doctor's office after that day. Do you suppose my phone call to the office manager after I got home had anything to do with it?
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Who IS the world supposed to revolve around???? I'm pretty sure it's healthy to believe it revolves around ourselves.......doesn't it???
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I haven't been following this thread for a while - so I'm not sure what the hulla-ba-loo over the language was...but I'm getting the gist of it and I have to agree with Barbe...get over it. If people dealing with cancer can't use big words...then political correctness has gone too far!
Now, because my world revolves around me (
), I need a reality check - so please tell me if I'm being over sensitive here:Last week I had -what they believe is a tear- in my DIEP recon. 8 hours in the ER, 5 days of not being able to move my arm or twist my trunk without a whole lotta pain - and it's not any better. In talking with my dp Sunday night - I told her that I feel like, if this turns out to be something that requires surgery to fix, I might want to just have it removed and live with a uni. The boob with the issue has had infections, necrosis, a LOT of scar tissue that bound it up and made it uneven. I just don't know that I want to keep it for all the trouble that it's been. My DP's response? "Well, you may as well -it doesn't matter at this point, it's not like they're really boobs anymore."
WTH????
I can't imagine saying this to someone in my shoes -ever- let alone my dp. Do I need to put my big girl pants on, or would you feel miffed too, if you were me?
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Ah crap, Navy, I would feel miffed too!! But that is one of the reasons I didn't do recon!!! I'd had a reduction years ago and had very nice breasts but they never really felt like mine. Even my DH didn't marvel at them the same way he had my original sloppy, larger ones. So, for other reasons too, I didn't bother with recon, knowing they'd not feel like mine either.
Now, as far as your DP saying it....hmmm. Very honest or very blunt? Do you appreciate her honesty well enough to accept it or does it hurt? Be honest. The remark is a zinger for sure. But, have you been treating the new boob as different yourself? It's given you an awful lot of grief, but you went through so much to get it!!
So, miffed, accepted. Get over it? That one is up to you and how YOU feel about your boobs. But be honest with yourself, first. Can you laugh about it now? Or does it still hurt?
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Barbe - I mulled this over today..and I don't think I treat my girls any different. I accept them -flaws and all; most days I truly forget anything has changed as far as they go. They feel that real! I think that's why the comment stung. As you said, I went through so much to have some semblance of "normalcy" in my chest - that the realizationt that my dp doesn't really consider them "breasts" was just such a shocker. I'm usually able to laugh about the f'd up things people say...but for some reason this comment makes me want to say "screw you, they're real boobs to me!"
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