The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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catlover- people don't think.....I am certain you look great!...you are healing, you are strong, your tears water the earth....all good my dear! all good!
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deformed.....god...what a horrible term....we are alive! we are transformed! pu it to them this way "well, at least I am alive to enjoy this transformation of my body. The alternative would have been very different"...that should shut them up or make them think about what they just said!!
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Thank you so much for being here for me. The last couple of days have been much better ... a little sleep certainly helped. When I lost all of the hair on my body, I really thought I was okay with it all. But in looking back, it was definitely that I was concentrating on the treatments, getting through them and trying to stay as healthy as possible during it all. Now that it's 'over', part of me wants to forget and just be 'normal' - I'd like to look in the mirror and see the old me looking back. Even when I put on make-up I still look different because my eyelashes, eyebrows took such a beating. With all of your support, I know it will just take time ( and patience - which has never been my strong suit :-) ).
Thank you again !!! (( HUGS ))
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I don't know if it was this thread or an other-, but it had it do with grey hair. WELL.. MINE CAME IN the most beautiful grey----multiple shades steall gray to white with some black-------if a colorist triied to create it, I would have payed big bucks. Of course I suppose it drpends on age and acceptance.
I had been in the colpr of the month club for about 15 years. Decided to go totaly grey before BC. Then when it grew back in, who knew it 's all these wonderful shades. People are actually having a time with it.It------------- looks great. . but i'm 60--------------. It's the haircut that counts-------cross between a pixie and french cut-----vs
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going back a little while.. i stopped reading susaun Loves breast book; cause she kept referring to how we "mutilated" oour bodies.. that finished me... 3jays
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3jays--- that would be hard to read.
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3jays - don't blame you for stopping reading. I guess I would rather have the option to "mutilate" myself than let my kids (3 and 6) grow up without a mom. Also helps that my husband prefers me here with no boobs than in a box with boobs.
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One positive off topic incident-
went for my annual MRI, not usually a bad experience but as I was being ushered into the dressing room area - I remembered my biggest peeve - so I asked whether I was going to have to change into the so-called size large pants that are so friggin small - the technician replied by asking whether the pants I had on had a zipper - I said no and she said then you can just wear your own pants!!! haha
but of course then I almost fainted when they put in the works for the iv. I don't know why that has been happening lately - but once I started to feel woozy I remembered that it had happened before and with some cold water and compresses I was good to proceed.
Julie E
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Today a repairman came to repair the webbing on our couch. He had been at our house six months ago when I was still bald from chemo.
Anyway, repairman makes comment that at least my hair is growing in, then says 'you didn't have to lose your hair to chemotherapy because if you had ingested freshly grated garlic and ginger mixed with castor oil every four hours it would of killed all of your cancer cells'.
Unsolicited advice, and not very tasty............
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OMG Silly how did you keep from laughing out loud.
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I'd rather lose my hair 0
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I would have had to tell him, " Well, yes I would have lost my hair, since I am allergic to ginger, The hair is far less traumatic in the long run than the scars from scratching off the top 5 layers of skin."
What a MAROON.
Becca
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Justagirl,
You should have said, "Is that what you did, because that would explain the unholy stench I've been smelling since your arrival."
People are unbelieveable during our most vulnerable hours. They need to be stopped in their tracks. Janice
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Haha- janice thats funny! Wonder where he heard that crap?
So have been feeling so good since surgery last tue, until today....
Nerve endings are reconnecting, and it hurts to even walk! Wish i had more shock absorbancy in my feet...Owie, had not heard about what happens when the numbness wheres off. Just took my 4rth percoset of the day, and finally taking the edge off. Also so ready to get these damn tubes out of me! I feel them inside my body. Fluid is getting to be less and less, so that is a good thing.
My baby girl has been staying with my parents for a few days, and is finally home : ) I missed her so much! Shes only 3, and doing a great job at trying to understand. she got mad at me because she couldnt help me with my drains. We walked to the park the other day, and she told some lady, "my mom had her breast removed, she has breast cancer" the lady said, is she talking about you? I told her yes, and poor thing didnt know what to say. Well at LEAST i didnt look like I had just had surgery! lol!
I hope you all had a wonderful memorial day weekend! i am happy at least the pain set in after I had a chance to at least go to one cookout! ( I did take a 3 hour nap at my friends house though) Chemo should start right before 4rth of July, so at least I got some summer action in! However.... in my pain last night i recieved a message from the ex. I couldnt sleep and didnt see the message until 3 am. It was about visiting my daughter today. i told him, she was at my parents and he would have to call my mom as i cant drive yet. (he has no license from not paying child support) anyways...... He tells my mom that he recieved a text from me at 3 am, and i must have been up partying!!!! All because he knew i was a cookout! My mom said she wanted to tell him, she WISHED I had been partying at 3 am! I was thinking about taking a pic of my 50 staples and two drains and sending it to him! MORON... sorry ladies! bad day and needed to VENT!!
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Juliebell he needs to be thrown under the bus. Your little one sounds delightful and they are so matter a fact about things. My GD announced to a cafe that Granny had one boob cause the other one was broken!! Hope you are feeling a little better. Give yourself time.
Justagirl throw that repairman under the bus as well. People are so stupid.
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Juliebell- we need 3jays' bus for sure!!! some people will just take advantage when they see what they think is vulnerability...you showed him!!bravo!
justagirl....no words can convey how stupid I think that repairman is..hopefully he has not passed that piece of wisdom along to anyone who is not very bright!seriously.
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im here, and here it comes.. my not soo "d"h is under, and my sons, but just for this wkend! hahaha
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tough wkend here... 3jays 0 -
Thanks 3jays!
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I would like to believe, people, like that repairman, are not trying to be mean or cruel, but are just trying, in their own way, to be caring. It's too much for me to think all these idiots are out to hurt me. It takes too much energy.!!!!!!
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i had someone tell me that she had augmentation so it is no big deal... hm... really?
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Juliebell - and that's why he's an ex!!
Little kids are so awesome. My daughter (6) said that once my port was out, all we had to do was put the tissue paper in and then we'd be all done. My husband and I were giggling at that - didn't have the heart to explain the DIEP wasn't moving tissue paper!!
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How about the person who says: "oh yeah, i had a scare after my mammogram. It was a cyst" or my wife had a scare"........ I find myself speechless in the context where THEY brought up my real condition to begin with. Like I feel it is my role to sympathize for the scare but nothing comes out of my mouth. Awkward and human.
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Yes I've heard many of those storys KLO-Day. I'm also lost for words it's oh great nice lucky you what do they want hear. Ah well worst is when I hear how people they no have it or had it and isn't goin to make it
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I had my first experience over the weekend hearing from the Bad News Bears.
I ran into a former co-worker & her husband. I knew he had had cancer so I asked how he was doing. He told me all about his chemo. Then he asked what I have been up to. I said I have been dealing with some health issues myself. I was going to leave it at that, but since he also has "The Big C," I thought, what the heck, I'll tell him I have BC and caught it early and had a BMX. He went right into telling me a story about his sister-in-law who also has BC and had a BMX.
That would have been fine if he had stopped there, but he continued by telling me that less than a year later, his SIL was diagnosed with a spot on her lung and then spots on her brain. OK, why are you telling me this? He of all people should know that stuff is not helpful to hear... he also has cancer! I was sorry I had even mentioned it! I was trying to make a connection with a fellow "cancer survivor" whom I already know, but it was a very UNsatisfying moment!
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Well I'm still getting the stupid comments...................I have 7 more Rads to go, so now instead of being told I'm "lucky" I have breast cancer instead of a worst type, I'm being told............."and look at you, you look wonderful, and none the worse for your treatments".........................I said "really, if I wasn't so modest I would show you how "none the worse I am for treatments". Kind of brings a tear to your eye doesn't it............................. Some people are just plain stupid
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What about the woman who says, "I've had so many biopsies I just know I'll be where you are someday. Well no if she's had cysts (which she had) then she will probably keep having cysts. And until she's had chemo and radiation and herceptin and heart damage and lung damage no she will not be where I am so she can go under the bus and oh wait there's a semi coming.
Wow I am uaually not this angry,oh well.
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Yep, I love the "you look like you're doing great!" comments.
I don't think they understand the preparation and thought that goes into getting ready each day for us. And don't forget, they don't show up to our doorstep on our not so good days. I only venture out when I AM FEELING GOOD...
Let me see, have to wear the granny pantys because my abdomen can be tender after the hysterectomy, so loose bottoms too. Then which shirt/sweater on top? I have to wear layered looks to mask my post BMX appearance, scarves and camis help, but only so much. And in two short weeks my morning routine will be a bit quicker when the hair is gone. But, of course, then I really have to contemplate what the hell to put up there...
So maybe I "look great"- it takes a while to get there, especially since I have to paste a smile on sometimes, but thanks
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in the immortal words of the comic Ron White, "You can't fix stupid".
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I MUST respond following vhshea's post! When I had my surgery I had an immediate TRAM reconstruction. My identical twin sister never spoke a word to me in the six moths following the diagnosis or surgery that was in any way related to me having bc or any of the related experience. Finally, six months later she said " Oh but how lucky you were! You got to get rid of that big belly!" I should add I never weighed more than five pounds more than her....AND she has a PhD!!!
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