The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Well, the coffee was fine...she spent the first 20 minutes staring at my boobs however...not sure what she was expecting but who knows....she wasn't around so guess she was expecting anything!...Caught up and that is that....she seemed hell bent in my looking for a man though. Told her I wasn't interested in dealing with anyone's stuff other than my own right now...
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You guys have some great stories. I think some people dont want to get close to you because you are like contagious. Good grief and to be fair I also think other people are just plain afraid of the dx just like us only we have it and they dont so they avoid us. One of my neighbors who has a big heart and unfortunately has the mouth to match spread the word around the neighborhood and even to neighbors who used to live in the neighborhood. I couldnt go anywhere around the neighborhood and beyond w/o someone already knowing. Look it is a private thing and if I wanted them to know I would tell them. She was like the town crier...she tells all her personal business so she figures she can tell yours too. I think her mouth engages before her brain. It was a bit embarrasing but only one neighbor really helped out. You know how people will say call me if...who is going to do that...this neighbor told me she would have brought food but my husband is such a good cook what would be the point? he is but what does that have to do with it? Diane
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Lilylady, you should ask your coworker how long he expects to live, walking around saying that sort of things to people! How long will it take before someone decides there is one too many of him?0
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I had a good one told to me yesterday. I had mentioned to a co-worker that another co-worker just had an excisional biopsy this past Friday and that so and so had biopsy as well, there have been 4 of us. She looked at me an told me that I have started a new "trend" at the company. BC is trendy? I told her, yeah don't you know that BC is in these days......
Edwards750, mine is not my neighbor, it's my mother. When I told her my news she had to tell everyone. She also belongs to a prayer chain, she calls 4 people and then those 4 people call 4 people, and so on......by the time it was over, more that 300 strangers to me knew my business. Hey, not knocking the prayers, but do you even know me?
Sandeeonherown: yeah, why do people stare at our boobs? My co-workers were like that. You can see their eyes go down and look.
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kingjr66- I had honestly never had anyone do that before....she was watching me...in my coat, when the coat came off, when I moved....asked how I was, said I looked great...part of me thought "really??? why are you asking me now that it is all over?" Her biggest concern was what I am not wih someone right now or not looking....(she has been in Canada for 5 years and has gone from one man to another with no break in between...so yes, I can understand how she would be flabbergasted by my saying 'no thank you...not right now')...not MY biggest concern at the moment...as for staring at my boobs...I thouhgt it was odd. She is also big busted...she could look at her own and ask "why am i so afraid of going for a mammogram?Maybe these puppies deserve to be looked at?!"
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Sandee: maybe she's affraid because 99% of the time the mammogram techs are woman, she'd rather have a man looking at her "puppies". Sorry, just trying a little humor.
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You might be right...this is the same pal who , despite my experience, refused to go have a mammogram done because she didn't want to know....didn't have insurance and wanted to first have her insurance in place for big events like heart attacks and cancer..ok...i understand it. I missed the boat on that....but oy...if your friend got cancer and you were now in a country where the medical was free...wouldn't you go? Just fear, right? Hopefully, she will go...
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I have similar problem with my sister. My mom and I both have had breast cancer but does she go have a mammogram? Noooooo. She is 53 and has only had one mammo her entire life. She has insurance and all the free time (does not work). Her daughter has a huge fear that she will get breast cancer since both her grandmothers and her aunts have had cancer and she had thyroid cancer in her 20's (my mom also had thyroid cancer). She is having problem getting screenng due to her age (early 30's) and also her insurance told her, get this, but your mother does not have cancer. How does she know when my sister will not take the steps in finding out and giving her perhaps piece of mind. Sure would ease my mind. I'm waiting on my brca results which may determine and pave the way for all my nieces and nephews to be screened and my sister and brother.
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One of the dumbest things people have said to me is " you don't look that sick as they say" comment from a young nurse just a couple of days after I nearly died! Another one you will get better soon and you won't have to take all those drugs and that is from a sister who knows I am dying and denies being in denial says I can't look that well and be dying! How is a dying person supposed to look and what are we supposed to be doing sitting in bed waiting to die or getting on as best as I can with life in spite of what is happening to me. I am at peace with my situation it is what it is but it is not going to stop me having the best quality of life I can have for me and people just don't get it unless it is a fellow BC person!
Sorry my dears it has been a pig of a day and I needed to vent and it is back to hospital again to play with some more doctors tomorrow good night and be well
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JE....strong woman....yes,,,get on with your life....alll we can do love...all we can do
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OMG, I had MY first "you look good" yesterday. Don't I look good everyday? I guess I needed the cancer for you to tell me.0
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Just a little reminder of what to say when people are surprised you look so good:
I have/had cancer in my breast, not my face!
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I love that Barb. I went yesterday to pick my DD from school she was sick and ran into the assistant principal and she is a very sweet lady she asked how I was feeling how the medication was goin etc ... then said ' but you look so good I never would be able to tell if I didn't know. I do believe they mean well but I find people look at you and if you don't look like your at the end they assume all is well.. they have no idea what it does to you emotionally...
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A "friend' told me yesterday you look fine and normal. Yes I do but I have damn cancer. do you get that? she didnt see my bald head, I used to have a hair down to waist. Dumb insensitive people.
also, I was told because I was always leaving 'healthy' life i deprived my self of nutriets and I got cancer. WTF
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I just had a Physician's Assistant say to me this past Wednesday: "The great thing about chemo is how wonderful your skin looks afterwards. It really does great things for your complexion."
Yep, you're right. Chemo is freakin awesome. I went through 12 weeks of hell that made me look about 10 years older, but my complexion is FABULOUS! Thanks. (asshole)
And yes, she had the audacity to start a sentece with the words: "The great thing about chemo is......"
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" The great thing about chemo is how wondeful your skin looks afterwards. "
When are you starting YOUR chemo complextion treatments?
Is cosmetic chemo covered by insurance?
Does complextion improving chemo cost the same as 'regular' chemo?
Idiot.
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NativeMainer, that is brilliant! I've got to start taking you to my doctor's appointments!! You crack me up!
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Brought to you by The Final Edition - whose brand new radio show airs at 8:30 tonight!
http://www.progressiveradionetwork.com/the-final-edition/ Click this link to go to their take on the dumbest Susan Komen stuff,supporting companies that cause cancer and pretending to put a pink ribbon on it and make it ok. This affects all of us and our future generations. Did anyone see Linda's video? There was a link on the disc boards somewhere.0 -
I have to be honest, when my mother in law was diagnosed and had a lumpectomy, I would often look at her breasts to see if they looked the same. I have NOT noticed anyone looking at my cancerous boobs but maybe they will when their my new boobs. A friend close to me has already said he is certain there will be many awkward moments when he's caught staring at them
I have few regrets when it comes to how I live my life. One of the first things that came into my head after I was diagnosed was..."thank DOG (my version of the word god) I twirled fire topless at Burning Man last year! I had never, ever, felt comfortable with my body especially my breasts but my gut told me to celebrate them and I did.
Also super glad I got my eyes fixed instead of a boob lift.
I'm certain I will not regret my decision to have a bilateral mastectomy!
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I usually go with the bald look. At one of my appts, my onc said "I've noticed that you don't wear a wig or hats." I think she's great and I like her a lot. Still not sure if that comment was insentive or just weird.
Phyllis0 -
I did see Linda's video, it was GREAT! Everyone should have to see it.
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I will, I m still wondering what people think, glowing skin sftre chemo ? I look so old in 3 months since i have been diagnosed. wrinkles in my hands like crazy
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Wow, this is such a great thread! I can add a few for sure!
When telling a coworker about the diagnosis she says "is your boyfriend going to leave you?"
What?!?!?! What an ass!
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Oh, one more....
My mother took FMLA to help me through chemo. When she told her boss about it, her boss says "WELL, MAYBE NOW YOU'LL LOSE SOME WEIGHT BECAUSE OF THE STRESS OF YOUR DAUGHTERS DIAGNOSIS"
Really?
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Oh ya some 'friend ' called and told me why did I do this and she was horrified for me and my kids.I have so many things people have said, one said now you should enjoy what ever time you have left. LOL do u know when you are going to die?
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call me cancer crazy, but where is the link to Linda's video?
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That link was posted somewhere, but not on this thread, I don't think. Let me go looking--
Here is the site address: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZwpSwm_4as
sorry I can't make it a click on link, but copy and paste will get you there.
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I was walking with two casual friends today and one started in on the "Because you've had everying scanned to death you know you're safe from anything else" routine. I tried to subtlely dissuade her from pursuing that line of conversation (hell, I just had my surgery a couple of weeks ago) but she kept at it. "Isn't it great that you know? We're ignorant about whether we have anything, but you don't have to worry about that. The rest of us have to worry but you know!"
I was pretty irritated and I know the second friend got it because when I commented "I was kinda enjoying my ignorance" she let out a little snort of laughter. Unfortunately the first friend didn't let up. "But at least you know!" She kept insisting.
Finally I snapped. "Yes, I know my doctor's concerned about a spot on my ovary that he wants to monitor, the radiologist at my pre-op mammogram marked a spot on my other breast as suspicious, and I have a one in four chance of not living long enough to watch my daughter graduate from high school."
"Umm..." she stammered, the conversation petered out, and we went on to another topic.
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GREAT response, Lulu!!!!!!
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At one of my appts, my onc said "I've noticed that you don't wear a wig or hats."
Phyllis, this was so dumb, I had to laugh. If she didn't notice, I'd be worried about her eyesight!
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