The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Just watched Linda's video! LOVED IT!!!! is she on here? I'd love to thank her for being so frank!
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Just watched Linda's video also. Not only does that explain how I feel about what SBK did, but how I feel about this process in general and how dealing with the everyday fight to beat it make you angry and frustrated. And then when you deal with idiot comments and idiot people on top of that, yeah, Linda hits it just right!!!!
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Great video!!! I hated reading the comments below it, though...some real idiots there...
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I just watched Linda's video. Loved it! I don't know why trolls have to post such inane things, idiots really. Komen did retract no? Not that I think is hasn't hurt them big time.
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I AM deliberately NOT reading the comments (including my own). Linda's messages stands on its own.
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I AM deliberately NOT reading the comments (including my own). Linda's messages stands on its own.
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bGirl- here are going to be so many negative people that have an opnion- you must make up a standard response to all, Mental response is different- what ever words you want to use That you keep in you mind whatever thoughts------------and they are cut out of your life----for, example you have a house party ------write invitations to everyone , but this one person. More work than posting a general invitation, but it keeps the offending person out.
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I did answer to one of those idiots
Sorry, he was just asking for it.
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I heard Planned Parenthood revearsed their decision on Friday. If that was real. And day, I read one of the responses about natural something or whatever was the way to cure cancer and I almost lost my mind.
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Keeping in mind this person is not a friend, her comment struck me down (so to speak) just the same. DH and I were out for a fun evening. After I said hello she replies, "oh, I didn't recognize you with hair". HUH???? That was in 2006 I had no hair. I wish I had said, "how long do you think it takes to grow back?" Anyway, I was rendered speechless and her comment ruined my evening.
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Sharon, we've only known you with hair so that sounds doubly stupid to me at least!! What a stupid reminder about something you'd prefer not to think about. And you know we're all going to say it....you shouldn't let her comment rent any space in your head!!!! (I try to live like that..doesn't always work, though)
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Thanks Barbe. Hey, it's not like my head has a lot of extra space to rent out either. But apparently there is enough space when I'm having a whiny day I guess.
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Sharon, I would have just looked at her, arch my eyebrows, and ask very haughtily "and you are...?" to make her feel as big as an ant.
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Interesting thread.
Unbelievable what some people will say. The dumbest thing that I heard was this morning, at church. The priest actually did his sermon on how illnesses are caused by people being bitter and unforgiving. Cancer, heart disease, kidney disease, etc......... According to him 90% of all illnesses can be blamed on attitude.
I just sat there and tried to keep a neutral expression. There is one lady in the congegration who has lung disease and carries a portable oxygen tank to church. She got up and went outside. Another lady who has cancer was visably upset and was consoled by her husband.
My kids were sitting there listening to all this, and they kept looking at me. Not only have I had breast cancer, but their grandmother has advanced ovarian cancer, and their grandfather is seriously ill with MS, heart disease and diabetis. I was upset that they had to listen to this total BS.
After church we went home and talked about how un-informed the priest actually is and I think the kids felt a bit better. I almost feel like I don't want to go back to that church, and we've been attending mass there for almost 15 years.
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Aw jackiec1964, that just stinks. I have felt let down at church in the past too.
I'd love to know where he got his research to back up his claims. Lemme at him.
Bet his tune would change pretty quick with a similar diagnosis.
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jackiec1964
OMG is all I can say! I would be looking for another church if it were me. I was raised RC and I haven't been active for many years due to many reasons. By what you describe this "priest" is out of touch with reality. How sad that he made so many uncomfortable by his retoric. He really should be told how offending he was.
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So if we are all of perfect attitude we will never die? That is what he is saying, assinine. I feel for you, I hope that I would have been out the door but know I would also wishing I would be able to sit there and listen to the BS, just for entertainment sake. I was at a church once that gave the sermon on fat people being gluttonous and sinful, right up there with murder and stealing, and that is not easy to hide from being noticed when I was 380# at that time, all due to thyroid and not having meds. Like the lady with oxygen tank, no hiding. I feel for you. Disconcerting, definitely.
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Thanks, ladies.
I was considering talking to the head priest (not the one who did this sermon) at the church to let him know how offended people were, if he didn't already notice himself.
I mean even people who were never diagnosed with a serious illness, have all had friends or relatives who were. I don't think there was anyone in that church who wasn't upset to some degree during this sermon.
Oh well.................I tried to not let it ruin my day too much!
Jackie
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I would if I were you. And i'm guessing you might not be alone.
EVERYONE knows someone who has been ill. Who would say, nonetheless preach, such a thing? Has this man ever been educated?
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I have always felt that one of the most important qualities in a a member of the clergy is empathy, obviously not his strong point!
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Wendyspet,
I think he started out trying to say that attitude can influence health,( and sure, I can somewhat agree with that) then he just went off on a tangent. He is really a poor speaker, and usually everyone is bored or confused by the end of his sermon, as they go on so long and usually make no point. There are 3 priests at this church, and he is definitely the worst of the 3
The weird thing is I don't think he even realized he was being offensive, even after a few people walked out..
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I would have flounced, personally. And I wouldn't have even tried to be subtle about it. Maybe it would give others upset by what he was saying the courage to get up and walk out, too. And I would definitely let someone know, so maybe this guy can get a little empathy training.
I was vacationing with my parents once, and we looked through the local paper trying to decide where to attend church. Once we got there and the sermon started, though, it was obvious we'd made a very big mistake and that these people didn't believe what we did, and they weren't at all tolerant of other views. We just looked at each other and decided that yes, we would walk out. And then we got outside and I realized I'd laid my car keys next to my purse in the pew and overlooked them as we left. D'oh! So, I went back inside, picked up my keys and walked out again. It was a little embarrassing, but I wasn't sorry we left.
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Oh Carolyn!!! You have balls, sweetie! ehhehehehehehe I bet you wished the ground had opened up and swallowed you whole!! heheheehehe
And Jackie, I would have walked out, too. Especially to keep my children from listening to that crap. Please read our posts to you kids so they know that we know that that priest is an idiot. Priestly yes, humanitarian, no. Humans do make erros and he made a big one!!
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Carolyn, still laughing...sorry!!! It's like trying to make a grand exit by slamming the door and then catching your coat in it!! ehehehehehehhehee...gasp.....sorry!!! At least the roof didn't collapse on you, so maybe God agreed with you!! hehehehehehehee...sorry!!! hehehehehe
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The saddest part is that you are probably right about him not knowing that he was being offensive. Some people just seem to lack the filter of knowing how they sound to others. Have MIL who does it all the time. She truly never means to be offensive and is shocked when people tell her they are, but she doesn't change as she really doesn't get it. You would think a person in a position of trust would be chosen for more empathy. Lucky our minister is a little preachy, but not in this way. Maybe it helps that his sister had BC in her 40s.
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Jackie: please think about throwing him into the bonfire.
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JackieC1964: Sorry if this offends some catholics. I was baptized RC and raised in that religion, however, now, am bona fide Protestant/ELCA. My pastor agrees with me that catholicism tends to blame "people" for getting their own illnesses, and it is because we've done something bad. Well we all should know that is just crap. I'm glad you stood up and said something !!! Having bc or any other illness is bad enough without uncaring clergy turning people off.
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shelly56
I too was raised RC and while not offended, I just think in any religion there are people that have no business being in the clergy at all. I have great priests and terrible priest so I think its really depends on the person themselves. I can remember as a kid we had a priest that was the most miserable, started berating people in blue collar town in a recession that they weren't contributing enough when the plate was passed. People got up and walked out in droves. He was eventually replaced. Then I can think of another, beleive it or not his name was Father Love! He was the funniest, kindest beautiful person you could meet. Many years later I met him and he had not changed one iota. Alot of religions blame the individual for their problems, hence the reason I don't really support organized religion personally. Not dogging those that do, just a personal choice.
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This thread is awsome. Everytime someone says something stupid I tell my mom (who also had BC) and we talk about how we should write a book with all the stupid things people have said to us. Here is a partial list of what I've heard:
1. While on disablity after mastectomy: enjoy your vacation!
2. One week after being diagnosed w/ BC: You just really have to have a positive attitude.
3. Going from 34 A to C: now you get to shop at Victoria's Secret!
4. In response to chemo (which I ended up not needing): Just thnk of all the pretty scarves you'll get to wear!
5. From my MO when I asked quetions: Being in the medical field, you should really know the answer to that question. No, he is no longer my MO.
6. Good thing they caught it early! My friend died from cancer that they caught too late
7. No, I can't go to your appt with you, today is my day off.
8. I don't wan to hurt you, please don't talk to me about your cancer
9. What friends have said in repsonse to me expressing lack of support: I felt pushed away, I felt like I was out of the loop, I thought no news was good news, But you just look so good!...Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was my responsibility to take care of myself AND you at the same time!
10. I told one friend how angry I was for not hearing from him again (4 months) after telling him I had BC: Well you could have called me, it goes both ways....Yeah, you're right. In the middle of surgery and radiation and greiving I should have thought to call you, how insensitive of me.
I am sick of people telling me to have a positive attitude. I have cancer and I'm doing the best I can. I am royally pissed off and I have a right to feel and express this anger. Telling me to be positive makes me even more angry! I think this reponse is dismissive. I know my anger will dissipate, that time will help heal and I'll sort through the intense response, reactions, feelings and emotions that come with a diagnosis of cancer. It's a lot to digest and it's a process. Don't dismiss my process by telling me to be positive. There is nothing positive about cancer. I focus on the things that are positive in my life, which I relish. Cancer is an incredibly agonizing and personal experience.
Some things that have helped me
1. Reading Barbara Ehrenreich's book: Bright-Sided. How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. She had BC and the first chapter is titled: Smile or Die: the Bright Side of Cancer
2. Cancer support group. It's an all cancer group. Everyone gets it. The groups nic name is "my problem is bigger than your problem" LOL
3. I OWN this cancer. What am I going to do for ME. What do I want. What is best for ME. I am single, with no family around. While this sucks on many levels I also realize it affords me luxeries. I can do WHATEVER I want. And I'm going to :-)
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Great post rockstar.
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