Join our Webinar: REAL Talk: Healthy Body and Mind After Breast Cancer Treatment - Jan 23, 2025 at 4pm ET Register here.

The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

1211212214216217333

Comments

  • phgraham
    phgraham Member Posts: 909
    edited February 2012

    I'm generally a positive person , I think.  Last week a woman was talking to me saying it was great to see my attitude and something about a glass half full.  I said "Yep, I'm a half full kind of woman.  I may be bald, but I still have half my eyebrows and half my eyelashes!:  Was I over the line?

  • Myleftboob
    Myleftboob Member Posts: 983
    edited February 2012

    phgraham

    Not in the least!   Love it.  I'm the same and am hanging on to my sense of humour.  Was out for dinner last week with a group of friends.  One of the girls sister sdecided to join us at the last second, why I don't know, guess she wanted a gander, I don't think she said more than the following to me all evening.  She says, "your hair is lovely".  Meanwhile I've just stared chemo and while it's still there at this point, I could really use a cut and colour, but I figure put the $60 towards the wig.  I told her to get a good look at it because the next time we run into eachother it will be gone LOL!  Love seeing peoples eyes get REAL big LOL!

  • lmanalo
    lmanalo Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2012
    I had a co-worker tell me that people weren't meant to get sick and that the reason we do is because of negativity in our lives.. If we're not negative, we won't get sick Surprised  I told her I must have been REALLY negative to get bc. She wasn't quite sure what to say. I didn't ask her how that works with toddlers who get cancer - were their parents too negative and they caught it from them?  She is a very nice person and she is entitled to her beliefs, I just politely told her I didn't share them.
  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 10,154
    edited February 2012

    It's so interesting reading this thread.  Just when I think nobody could come up with a dumber comment, someone does.

    Imanalo, I wonder how she would have responded to your question about toddlers getting cancer.  Likely that would have topped the DUMB metre.  Edit to say, I guess it's a DUMB meter.

  • tinkertude
    tinkertude Member Posts: 1,998
    edited February 2012

    Shelly... I was born and raised catholic. The truth is your right. When I was diagnosed the pastotr at my church said it was Gods way of sanctifying me and redeeming me. Really???? Don't get me wrong I love my Faith, the problem with it is the mortals that run there mouth thinking they know exactly what

    God wants. It is not a punishment it just is.



    Okay... my bff sends me an email and says I thought you would want to know this... in it is an update of a coworker of hers that has cancer whose treatment is not working and is going to try some experimental drug. OK why I ask why would I want to know this.. thanks????

    OK I've run my mouth enough

    have a good day ladies

    Maria

  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,781
    edited February 2012

    I have had a number of people recently tell me that stress caused my cancer and, subsequently, my heart attack...that I need to think positively....well folks, I am one of the most positive people I know. Let's talk tamoxifen and hereditary factors with the heart attack...as fo rthe breast cancer...who the hell knows...but not thinking positively is NOT the cause. I had the right to be sad after a long term split up...did my break up cause breast cancer? HARDLY! Good grief!

    You cannot go through life without a few crappy days, months, years...does that mean we are all going to get cancer?!?!?! Seriously...? Don't tell me that sorrow started my cancer...how paranoid will that make me next time something sad happens?!?! Does that mean I cannot ever grieve something again? Sadness and disappointment did NOT cause my breast cancer. Give me a friggin' break!

    Jackie - I hope you do get the opportunity to speak with your priest about his comments. Clearly he is unaware of what his 'flock' needs. Would not inspire me to go and speak to him if I were having a bad day spiritually!

  • xocwjjb
    xocwjjb Member Posts: 2
    edited February 2012

    Gosh, you all have soothed my soul. 

    I was really peeved when my sister's reaction to the news of my cancer was "not again!", as if I had done it to inconvenience her.  (The not again referred to my other sister's death from cancer.)  And then my sister flew over to "help" me and seemed to quaatsch all day about friends and acquaintances who had cancer or died from cancer  - even reported an acquaintance's dog who had died from cancer! 

    But my goodness, none of that was half as rotten or hurtful as what you all have heard.  I have now realized that my sister is just a generous-hearted lady who unfortunately needs to fill every minute with talk and the topic of cancer was at the top of her mind.

    Cheers to all of you who have squashed the insenstives or cut them out of your lives.  With friends like these who needs enemies?

    hugs,

    Caroline

     

  • GG27
    GG27 Member Posts: 1,308
    edited February 2012

    Shortly after I was diagnosed, I went house hunting with a friend & I knew the agent as she sold us our house, anyway, she came to pick us up at my house & said to me "I was surprised that you didn't bother to come to our breast cancer fund raiser"  I said, I was recovering from a BMX that week & wasn't feeling up to going out.  She turned on me & said "oh you were not!"

    I was so flabbergasted that she wouldn't believe me, that I yanked up my shirt...  her mouth hung open & she just stammered, oh so sorry....    but within a few minutes she just carried on like nothing had happened.  She's never bothered to call to find out if everything was fine.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited February 2012

    I laugh when people ask me for donations or efforts to a breast cancer charity!! Like, SERIOUSLY????? I have paid the ULTIMATE price. Those do-good events are for those of you who feel guilty that YOU don't have cancer!!!

    (I don't mean you ladies, I mean the ladies out there in the real world!!)

  • Survivorwoman
    Survivorwoman Member Posts: 70
    edited February 2012

    Here is something that a stupid person told me:  last week at the doctor's office, the woman who handles the insurance issues at the front desk/waiting  area, in front of about 30 people said : "How are you? You look very cheerful today, maybe a bit hyper, you SHOULD calm down! It is not good for you, you know !" --- Truthfully, I was speechless. It took me over one year to start moving on with my life and to feel a bit lighter and here comes this little miserable person who tells me I need to "calm down"? Plus, aren't we constantly bombarded with the "think positive" messages....right? But when we are, indeed feel well and being positive ... people --miserable people-- always find something stupid to say to us to put us down. Anyway: I said to her: "I am in a good mood and would like to get this Herceptin treatment done, so that I can get going and do some FUN things while I CAN? OK?" I did not talk to her after that. Next day she said something, but I ignored her. Unreal!!!

  • Elizabeth1889
    Elizabeth1889 Member Posts: 509
    edited February 2012

    I talked to a therapist who thinks that all of us have cancer somewhere inside of us, but as long as we keep our family relationships balanced and stress free, the cancer will not bother us.  She thinks detectable cancer is a symptom that our lives are out of control.  So on top of everything else, should I feel guilty for not handling my life better?  And she gets paid to say this!

  • kingjr66
    kingjr66 Member Posts: 406
    edited February 2012

    I had someone tell me that same thing, we all have cancer in us.  She said that it ususally takes some type of surgery or other health issue to bring it out/to the surface.  Well she had major surgery a year ago, I guess I'm kinda waiting for the news that she has cancer.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894
    edited February 2012

    Jackie C1964----this will be posted two pages after your post about the priest. I'm afraid of what I may have done. Like walk to the front of the church and made a statement. Have been known to do it under similar circumstances, but in different places. He owes the congregation an apology. What a stupid person. Wish the whole congregation would have walked out.

  • riley702
    riley702 Member Posts: 575
    edited February 2012

    kingjr66, I've heard this theory, too, and want to know how they would even begin to test this theory. And we all know what a theory is, right? (I read this years ago and thought it was cute) A theory is a beautiful idea ganged up on by a brutal bunch of facts!

    And that reminds me of more wacky definitions. Like: What's the difference between "naked" and "nekkid"? "Naked" is when you don't have any clothes on (duh), and "nekkid" is when you don't have any clothes on and you're up to something!

    Does anyone else have any more wacky definitions for our amusement?

    Addendum: Went googling and found some more.

    • Gravity: Not just a good idea; it's the law!

    • Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

    • Alarm Clock: A small mechanical device used to wake up people who don't have children.

    • Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf".

    • Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

    • Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

    • Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

    • Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

    • Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.
  • icefishinglady
    icefishinglady Member Posts: 21
    edited February 2012

    "It's not like you're having an arm or a leg cut off!"

  • kingjr66
    kingjr66 Member Posts: 406
    edited February 2012

    Riley & Icefishing:  LOL....good ones.  I'm brain dead this morning, can't think of any.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited February 2012

    riley, if you like those, you should come join my "Wacky Definition" thread in the humour section here on bco!!

  • riley702
    riley702 Member Posts: 575
    edited February 2012

    Thanks, barbe!

  • dougieswife
    dougieswife Member Posts: 74
    edited February 2012

    Haha....the medical assistant at my MO's office said, "well, you are still alive", after taking my pulse. Gee, thanks!!!

  • momof3boys
    momof3boys Member Posts: 63
    edited February 2012

    I think I'm just in a "mood" today! But, two things irked me today....

    I called the American Cancer Society late January to sign up for their "Look Good Feel Good" seminar to be held on Feb 7th at my oncologists office. The lady I spoke to told me they had nothing scheduled for that day (I had the flyer in my hand), but she would call me back with the next date. Well, someone called me today, on my cell phone....a month later, at 11:38 am and invited me to the seminar that was today at 12:30pm. I said "gee, I called a month ago, I can't come at 12:30, I have an interview" she said, "oh, ok, I know it is short notice, I hope you get the job" I said "um, thanks, I'm actually the one doing the hiring". Idk...just wanted to rant at their incompetence, but didn't, and also at her assumption that the cancer patient has to be the one being interviewed... Maybe I'm just grumpy.

    Second thing... I was into my office and a woman that I rarely see is right there when I walk in today. Guess what she says to me; "oh my God, I haven't seen you in forever! And, you look so professional!!! Your hair looks great!!! (I'm doing chemo) I just glared at her and said "I haven't seen you in forever, either, I was wondering where YOU were...." how about the...you look so professional? WTH? I've never NOT looked professional! I've never even walked into my office in anything less than a skirt or lacks with blouse and jacket? Ughhhh people....

  • Myleftboob
    Myleftboob Member Posts: 983
    edited February 2012

    Momof3

    Gee, she must have expected to see you in your sweats and buff.  What a dumbass.  With the exception of running to the grocery store and hanging out at home, if I'm meeting clients, I actually am finding I'm dressing and fixing my make up with even more care these days.

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,955
    edited February 2012

    I was in the ER Saturday with an asthma attack and scared to death. The ER doc says "you cancer patients are always over-reacting to things.  There's nothing wrong with you."

  • NCbeachgal
    NCbeachgal Member Posts: 67
    edited February 2012

    NativeMainer-I would have cussed that doctor up one side and down the other! He would've seen the true definition of over-reacting. My sweet southern charm would've been out the window. What an idiot that doctor is!

    I hope tour asthma has settled and you are feeling better.

  • mebmarj
    mebmarj Member Posts: 143
    edited February 2012

    NativeMainer-

    Please contact the ER nursing manager of that facility, administration or patient advocate. That place needs to have a review of compassionate care. I know people get jaded from the frequent fliers, but that was totally inappropriate and uncalled for by a physician.

    What an @$$.

    hope you are feeling better with the asthma, those flares are scary.

    -m

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited February 2012

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{ Native }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 10,154
    edited February 2012

    NM, that ER Dr. should get into another line of work.  What a dork!!!

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,955
    edited February 2012

    I filed a complaint about his comment with the hospital.  Don't expect much to happen, but at least he'll know I heard what he said. 

  • tinkertude
    tinkertude Member Posts: 1,998
    edited February 2012

    Native. So sorry what an idiot! Hope you are feeling better and I hope your complaint is taken very seriously. That's unacceptable

  • Anko66
    Anko66 Member Posts: 30
    edited February 2012

    I went to hospital the other day for a minor surgical procedure.  I was met by a nurse whom I thought I recognised.  She asked me what I was being treated for so I told her that I regularly visited the oncology unit.   She then said that she used to work in that unit but she found it so traumatising that she transferred to another department after a couple of weeks!! 

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 179
    edited February 2012
    So, my grandma has come to live with us. Shes almost 80. I understand things were different in her day, but good grief, she says stuff that makes me wanna pull my hair out.  She seems to think cancer will spread if they cut it, so I shouldn't let them do a mast because that will only make it worse.
    She also thinks they are just making it up and I really don't have cancer, the Dr's just want to get more money out of me.
    Just this morning she asked me how I'm feeling, same as every other day, I told her I'm fine Gram. Then she tells me "Well if it's not bothering you or making you sick, just leave it alone. No reason to go to the Dr if you don't even feel sick."  What the... I had no reply.