The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
-
It really helps to come here and talk to people who understand!
0 -
I am almost six months PFC, my hair is almost two inches long, not styled, just there. I work at a retail store, the other day, a customer came up to me and asked "Did you pay someone to do that to your hair? Or did you do it yourself?" I get comments similar to this almost daily. It never ceases to amaze me how people feel so free to say anything they want to a complete stranger.0
-
babsbrink -- honestly I cannot believe that someone would have the nerve to say that to a stranger ... I wish I had a response for you ...
maybe something like .... I didn't have to pay anyone ,,,, it was free with the chemo !!
0 -
Just posted here in response to my not wanting to know my specific % of possible recurrence . . .
"If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem."
I don't think I've ever been more offended in my life!0 -
Babsbrink-I would have to say, "since you fell comfortable asking, I feel comfortable talking to you about the side effects of chemo...". I would the go into ALL the gorey details and please don't forget to explain about the side effects of the loss of estrogen. When your done talking about hair loss, tell the nosey person all about vaginal dryness. That should shut em up!
0 -
@NCbeachgal LOL!!
0 -
Sundermom I'm am so sorry you had to encounter such a comment at a place we come for support! Everyone has there own way of dealing with their BC! Some are crusaders & some quietly fight their own battle! We shouldn't hurt one another in our quest! Big Big Gentle Hugs!
0 -
Sundermom-I'm shocked someone on these boards would be so rude and seemingly judgmental. You have every right to the level of info that makes you comfortable. I hope you won't let it bother you.
0 -
Did you pay someone or do that yourself?
Hmmm, I thought about it and here's your sign, read between the lines...
Both?!
I paid dearly, hope you don't have to...
Like it?! I love it! Much warmer than the bald I was recently...
My insurance paid for it.
I can hook you up, I know a great oncologist.
I'm sure there are more, was just feeling a bit snarky.
Sometimes you just have to laugh- at yourself, at others and what life throws at us when we aren't looking. Too bad it's not pie...0 -
Good ones, Marj!
0 -
I work in a retail store, and there were two women shopping today, one of whom was bald. After helping them choose their items, I said to the bald woman "can I be forward and ask if you are having chemo?" She was okay with my question, and after I explained that I had chemo two years ago, we ended up having quite a long chat about our respective experiences. Later in the afternoon, one of my coworkers, who overheard a bit of our conversation asked me "The lady who you were talking to earlier today, is she a cancer victim too?" Victim??? I said that we prefer not to be thought of as being victims, but that yes, she does have cancer. She was a bit embarassed, but I think that she will be more careful about choosing her words.0
-
We had different cancers but here I am, 7 years later! Worrying about every ache and pain does lessen with time, but the fear will still flare up around those onc appts! Also, I remember someone posting something about statistics... that even 99 to 1 means that 1% will thrive (think Lance Armstrong) so why not consider yourself part of that elite group! Statistics are for the birds... they really mean nothing.
0 -
Unbelievable!! People with such low class shouldn't be allowed to use good oxygen.
0 -
Victim? Yeesh. It seems (to me, anyway) that's it's a good thing to be considered a victim of whatever these days. When I was growing up (get off my lawn, you damn kids!), 'victim' seemed to be reserved for accidents, assaults, etc. When did that change?0
-
Ok so my SO was telling female supervisor that he would be going to dr appts etc. She told him if worse comes to worse we can live without our breasts. I'm ok with that.
Then she said if worse comes to worse we can live without the person. REALLY!!! So glad I wasn't there.0 -
Maybe your SO should ask his supervisor if her SO would feel the same way- do people have no filters anymore? Speak before they think ...
0 -
Trinity, see your diagnosis is very recent. People are often shocked, especially if you are younger, in the beginning. Will often say crazy stuff. Even medical staff. Recovery room nurse told me you had the good stuff, 95% curable, I was so lucky. Not exactly message I was getting from MO with my age/diagnosis. So often, even those who know better say stuff. Try not to take it too seriously. Keep your chin up. Glad your SO is going to be there for you.
0 -
Sometimes its the silence from others whom you thought would be there for you - that is deafening. Even an "Im thinking of you" email or text or phone call is better than staying away from me bc its too.....whatever......to deal with.
0 -
Shaye
I'm feeling the same way today. Just found out a "friend" has been in town for the last 3 days on FB. Not even a phone call.
0 -
Yea.....similar thing happened to me too. I dont get it...?
0 -
This is one of the girls I grew up with. We've been friends for over 30 years. With the exception of one haven't seen any this group of them since Mid February. Hardly any calls, emails nothing. From my one friend that I do hear from, I get a text message last night asking me if she would see me tonight at so and so's house because there's a get together in honour of the out of town friend. I wasn't invited. Very upset right now.
0 -
Myleftboob - I think that is one of the most difficult lessons of BC - who is there and who isn't. Now that I just finished chemo, many of the people who abandoned me are starting to call. Difficult part over. I don't return their calls. They abandoned me for 7 months.
I had a whole family I had been friends with for over 30 years. They all abandoned me. It's horrible. I really feel for you.
In October, when I am done with all medical treatment (it will be a year) I am throwing a big luncheon for all of those that were there for me. Absent will be many I had hoped would be there. I will make sure they hear about the luncheon! LOL!
0 -
MLB, that is so hurtful. And it makes no sense.
0 -
on a brighter note - the people who HAVE showed up for me, people i barely knew.....have stepped up and been there for me in big big ways. Like they say - you find out who your friends are at times like these.......
0 -
Shayne, I have many folks who stopped calling or e mailing and act like I am on my death bed (I am way not there!) but I have tried to focus on the folks who offered help when I needed it
as I told my 90 yr old aunt is now fighting cancer of the salivary glands, stay away from the negative folks hang with the good and positive folks
I will confess that folks who see me at the gym all the time, are better as well, if I am running on the tread mill.....I must be in reasonable shape
0 -
You just never know when someone will surprise you. A neighbor who built across the street 2 houses down from me a few years ago maybe 5 now in fact. She brought over cookies today. Just because! It was so nice & very unexpected as we hardly every talk & maybe only see one another once or twice a year. I work nights & sleep all day. You just never know who will step up to the plate! It was a sweet morning! I'm trying not to beat myself up about anyone who walks away....of course I'm new to all of this & not sure who is gonna weed themselves from my life yet!
0 -
omg--MLB and Shayne talking about people not inviting u--why do u think--(I'm not being sarcastic) ImeAN ARE PEOPLE AFRAID TO TALK TO US OR FIGURE WE ARE TO SICK to be fun. It amazes me how some react to friends having cancer and what is said, well at least we're here to tak about it.
0 -
Kinda wish i could wrap my brain around it - why people who were you friends - dont want to check in, see how you are doing? Think its a fear thing? LIke cancer is catchy? I remember years and years ago, my grandmother had bone cancer. Hardly anyone knew in the family, in fact, they didnt even tell my grandmother - but hey - youre seeing an Oncologist, doesnt take a brain surgeon to figure that one out. But it was like a shame thing back then...... i dont get it. Im not dying, Im dealing! I even have a few friends who call, but go on and on about themselves and dont ask about me - which sometimes is a bit refreshing, lol!.
anyway - guess it doesnt really matter if I dont understand it. I know I would never do that to a friend or even acquaintance.
0 -
I'm a volunteer cook at our Senior Center. Someone called the Health Department and told them I was sick and shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen because I might infect everyone. You should the look on the inspectors face when he was told I have cancer--he just said "Idiots".
0 -
chabba, some folks are too dumb for words, I really do try to stay away from folks like that as I do believe dumbness is in herited
0
