The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Its a shame it takes a cancer DX to find out who is really there for you and who isn't. Makes me think that some of these "friendships" were a complete waste of my energy over the years. Hard fact to swallow.
It has to be a fear thing. I'm 8 weeks PFC and even during TX I was social on my good days. Went to a couple of friend events, lunches. Not a Debbie Downer type at all and love to socialize, shop, go walking. Really the only thing I avoid these days is sitting in the sun because its too hot with a wig LOL! Other than that I'm just plain old me sans hair.
Cracks me up right now that the person hosting is expecting me at her daughter's baby shower next week. Not happening.
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Make sure you do something fabulous on that day Myleftboob!
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Chabba - glad you had a sensible inspector!
I think the whole concept of cancer is just incomprehensible to some people, and when they see 'us' with it, its too much to handle, for selfish and unselfish reasons. I often wonder if seeing regular, nice, kind people of their age, social group etc with it freaks them out too much and makes them realise it really can happen to anyone - and therefore them - and they can't cope with that reality. I've also had people ask me what the risk of cancer is (lets say 1 in 9 for these purposes) and watched them do a quick count round the room. I told them not to worry, I was clearly the statistical person with it there :-).
And of course, some people are just a-holes and we tolerate it until something like this happens ;-).0 -
Myleftboob, big hugs xxxxx. If I were having a get together right now, I'd invite all you girls. Stuff the rest of them! We'd have much more fun than all the fakey fakey people who haven't learnt what's important xxx
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Turns out there was a little misunderstanding. The girl "hosting" tonights get together was never hosting at all. Her out of town guest, my "friend" was the one arranging the get together without asking her LOL! Turns out the host is having a load of family coming tomorrow for a week and she got quite upset with her because she said there's no way I can do a party tonight with all I have going on and asked her to go stay at another friends house. Turns out she landed on her doorstep without ever firming up with her and the "host" was not too happy about it.
So while I'm still annoyed at the out of town friend, it wasn't a case of the host not including me. She didn't even know about it LOL!!!
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thats some funny shit......you cant make this stuff up!
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That's pretty amusing. Some people actually get what they deserve.
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Heck, MLB. if you're annoyed at the out of town friend, think how the "host" is feeling about her!
And nice to know you'll go thethe shower next week with good feelings.
Leah
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I ran into a neighbor I have not seen in a while, she asked how I was and if I was done with treatments, etc. she then went on to tell me about her cousin who also had a mastectomy "but she's a lesbian so she doesn't care about breasts". I was dumbfounded. Can people really be that ignorant?!
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wow - people surprise me every day.......thats a new one........
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I was getting a haircut yesterday. My usual, very short. I like it that way. The stylist and I were talking and she started telling me a story about how her 3 year-old had cut her ponytail off and how upset with her daughter she was. I said, "It's just hair; it'll grow back." And I was thinking I shouldn't have to be telling a hairdresser this, for Pete's sake. Then she said, "Oh, she looked awful - like a cancer patient or something!"
My jaw dropped, because first of all, she's cutting my hair very short - does she think it looks awful? Second of all, what an idiot! You have no idea what the person you're talking to has been through! So, I told her, "I was actually diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago and lost ALL my hair. It's just hair - IT WILL GROW BACK!" And she just kept blabbing on and on about how it hurt her feelings to see her little girl with such short hair. I just stopped talking and didn't give her a tip when I left. I'm sure the dummy has no idea why...
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continuing to be further blown away!
good for you for not tipping her! AND speaking up.....
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Beebop, yes people are that dumb. Some years ago at work, a male coworker was positive he could pick out lesbians by sight: "They have short hair and don't wear make-up." And three of us sitting there with short hair, no make-up, but not lesbians all just looked at each other. We couldn't believe it, and he was just looking back and forth at us, saying "What? What?" So one of us told him and his response? "Oh, no. I didn't mean you guys!" *headdesk*0
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Lesbian...hmmm, I'm pretty sure if I was attracted to women that the breasts would be part of the equation! I think breasts are beautiful!!
As for the pink charity stuff, people at work were surprised that I wasn't going in for all the runs and stuff. "Why?" I asked, "I've already lost the race! And besides, they are for healthy people to make them feel like they are doing something meaningful." (no insult intended for those of you who do these races!) In fact, one of the guys who asked me, later his DIL got breast cancer and his family raised $20,000 for their team!!
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Does anybody know exactly where the money raised in those races and such goes? Like what drugs were developed using that money? Which research labs get that money? How, exactly, have I benefitted from any of that money?
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I have been under the impression that the funds raised go to community/local support but really not sure.
It is very much up to the charity, some are better at dispensing the money and some use it in less than sterling ways...like big salaries and overheads
and yeah, have cycled in bunches of the fundraising things...really for the fun!
course now I do have dif ideas
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Big controversy in where the money goes - such as Susan B Komen Foundation. Sad, but true.
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people are so rude..... Anywho I just had my mastecomy it has been 1 month. I went to the store and I was still alittle bloated from surgery and getting off pain meds. I go to the counter and this young girl says are you pregent outloud! people behind me.I said NO I just had major surgery I had my breasts removed... Never saw someone apologize and turn bright red fast enough. Oh well over it but really I did not need that.
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people are so rude..... Anywho I just had my mastecomy it has been 1 month. I went to the store and I was still alittle bloated from surgery and getting off pain meds. I go to the counter and this young girl says are you pregent outloud! people behind me.I said NO I just had major surgery I had my breasts removed... Never saw someone apologize and turn bright red fast enough. Oh well over it but really I did not need that.
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Always so amazed when people say that to women in general.....wth?
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That reminds me of something that happened a few years ago.
I was at a bar and grill with a friend for lunch. Our waitress was quite, umm..round I guess you could say. My friend asks her "So, when are you due?" She says "I'm not pregnant." My friend then proceeds to argue with her about it. "You're kidding, you have to be!" Like the woman wouldn't know. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide. Lol
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Orange, bet that young girl has learned not to ask people that again! Really, no one should ask - if it's any of your business, you'll eventually find out. And if you don't - it obviously wasn't any of your business!! 0
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Here's my rule: "Never assume a woman is pregnant unless you actually observe a baby emerging from her body."
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Good rule!!
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Great rule LOL! I could stand to lose a few now but I remember this one A Hole asking me when I was due and I was like 35 pounds lighter than I am now and not pregnant!
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OK I'm venting---thelast couple of day my dgtr, her DH and my grandson went swimming at my dtr's MIL's house--well my grandson tells me everything we're super close and tole me they were talking about me--the other people there and advising my dgtr what I sould be doing in order to feel WELL. OK I have LE, and a few other things and just got out of the hospital last week for electrlytes being all off and as they said critical, I have neurpathy (SP) I'm sleeping better but not great--I'm on aromasin afer 3 yrs of chemo, hercepton and rads--I really never complain, I act as if it's nothing but I have bad days like most of us. Well my point is these so called friends had ALL the answers while talking with each other no one else has had cancer and I hope they never do, but I was so hurt and maybe they think they can write a book about what it's like and how to be WELL again. OK maybe it's me, but I really did think how could they--they think as long as u finished chemo everything should be fine and I should feel like before---I'm 67 so I'll never feel like before Hahaha--well I actually feel better now so thanks.
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Camillegal--vent away, girl! I've been there, too, although not as badly as you. Most people think that once chemo/rads/surgery is done, treatment is done. Most are surprised to find out about the 5 years of hormonal treatment. Even more are surprised to find out about the long term effects of chemo/rads, especially lymphedema. And everyone thinks they know the answer/cure/best thing to do. It's annoying, to say the least. Some days I get tired of educating people. I hear your frustration and hurt. Come vent whenever you want to.
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Camil....this really makes me very mad on YOUR behalf! I'd tell em put on MY shoes stick a port in YOUR own arm. Hook up an IV for 3 years worth of lifesaving POISON.....THEN & ONLY then can you tell me how I should feel... ect.ect.ect!
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I dont think Ill ever get used to people either ignoring me......while im right there........or staring at me like im a circus freak. I look the same.....its just weird. have to tell my husband to stop telling people I had cancer!
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Thanks Ladies I actually do feel better just talking about it. I appreciate u'r comments
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