The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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I had a woman from my son's school come up to me the other day and asked me if it hurt when they cut my breast off. What an idiot. I should have told her she had nothing to worry about because only smart woman get breast cancer.
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that has got to be the most idiotic comment on this thread to so far Dianarose!! She wins the prize!
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I love this thread. Reading your posts I am trying to learn what more I can expect from people as this journey continues. So far only 2 things that people have said/asked have bothered me but they don't compare to what some of you girls have had to put up with... wow!!
1) My RO basically told me that he didn't feel that radiation would be sufficient to take care of my anterior margin that was dcis-positive. He recommended mastectomy because of the margin, the size of the dcis, and my family history. Going into the appointment I figured I was getting setup for radiation treatment so the mastectomy idea came as quite the surprise and I was in shock. To add to this, the RO's nurse who was there for the whole appmt said to me on the way out, "You may as well get both breasts removed, at our age what do we need them for anyway." Give me a break, I'm 47, and kind of attached to my girls thank-you very much!!! ...maybe she was an alien.
2) I was still not sure how to break the news to friends and family about my mastectomy so I thought I would just say "I have to have another surgery" when people asked how it was going with treatment (which, like I said, was supposed to be radiation until I saw the RO). I had not come to terms with the whole idea of mastectomy and thought I should find some peace with it first. Not a chance for that... the first phone call I got from an acquaintance asked when I would be starting my follow-up treatment and I said "well not sure yet, I have to have another surgery" now doesn't that statement say leave-it-alone loud enough, guess not, her next question was "Are you having a mastectomy??" Well I can't lie so I said yes, and just about hit the floor after I hung up ... another one bites the dust.
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Hi Quilted, as a nurse I am disgusted by that nurses' response to you, I would have soorly been tempted to slap her. Your journey has been very similar to mine in relation to the surgeries that you have had and will be having and I understand how difficult it is to go from thinking you are having one treatment only to find that you are having something else and telling family and friends. Big hugs for this journey and may it be a really smoothe one with very few idiots saying dumb things to you.
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Clarification ... I did NOT mean Jenlee's comment was brutal - I was referring to the doctors!
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OK here's a comment that my surgeon made during our initial consultation:
Him: Do you have any kids?
Me: No
Him: By choice?
Me: No, we've been trying for more than a year and a half.
Him: Obviously not hard enough.
That really pissed me off. However he is doing my surgery in two days. Apparently everyone says he is a really skilled surgeon, and that he's the best one around locally. I want the tumor out rather than waiting to travel afar to have it done. So he does not have to be a nice person as long as he is a good surgeon. Hopefully he doesn't come up with any choice comments after surgery but hey maybe the anaesthesia loopiness will protect me from that.
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they say the most socially inept doctors......are the best surgeons.....
He must be a friggin' genius surgeon!
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oh i loved, you dont look sick
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As Shayne said this guy obviously has no manners, so sorry. Really there is no need for this arrogance or ineptness however brilliant he is.
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It is my opinion that surgeons are NOT required to take Bedside Manner 101! I don't think I've ever met one that engages brain before inserting foot in mouth!
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Kathleen, My surgeon is one of the kindest sweetest people I have ever met. He is a true physician, dedicated to his profession and his patients. My biggest fear is that he will retire while I am still under his care and I will have to find someone else.
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Chabba ... there is an exception to every rule! I hope he sticks around for your sake! I did not mean all surgeons are a$$e$, but they seem to have a higher percentage than most specialities.
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The joke I've heard is that there's a reason they work on unconscious people!
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LOL - we should take this on the road ladies!!
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The lady from teh surgery center called me on Tuesday to do the normal pre op questions (exchange is next Thursday). She goes ON and ON and ON about me seeing my cardiologist (which for my other 3 surgeries, I haven't had to) and then she asks me if my primary care physician knows about my "Problem, er, I mean Procedure". No, not really because I am being seen by my MO EVERY 3 weeks where he gives me a good once over much like any other physical I have ever had, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!! I have never wanted to reach through the phone and choke someone as much as I did Tuesday night. My PS is part owner of the surgery center and you better believe I'm going to let him know. He is a perfectionist and I know he would want to know. I don't know who this lady thinks she is and for all I know, she is just someone who calls to get the information and isn't even medically trained for anything!!! (I'm still ticked off about it, can ya tell??)
Now, tonight, I got an invitation to a friend's littler girl's bday party. She is the one who has said to me..."I've just been so busy, I'm sorry I can't come see you and help you out" or "the price of gas...blah, blah, blah"....Well, I guess I will be busy that day, too.
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Lori -- I would be busy too --- funny how when they want something they can manage to get right there --- unfortunately we all discovered we have one or two of them.
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Right before my surgery the surgeon asks me completely straight-faced, so which breast are we doing, the right or the left? I was too stunned to answer, I am thinking if you don't know I want out of here right now.... I understand they have to double check for liability reasons but the question scared me. For those of you who have seen Arrested Development where Dan Castelleneta is the surgeon, I thought oh no this is who I have...
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Ha velo, I must have had 10 people (not exaggerating) ask me for my birth date and where we are doing surgery, and what for, when I went in. I would not have been surprised if the janitor had checked...
My friend had a brain tumor, and they removed a chunk of his skull so he could swell. When the time came to put it back they wouldn't take him into surgery until the surgeon came and initialed the surgery site. (Surgeon is this tiny little black man, very volatile person. Picture surgeon pitching a fit... he only has the one hole, only one place to put the %*^& skull. Jay was ready to get up and go home without the rest of his head...
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Its a pain in the butt to keep repeating yourself at surgery time I remember. But we have a local hospital that when it opened about 5 years ago ended up doing amputations on the wrong limb to more than one patient in a short period of time. It was in the news and an inquiry was called and everything.
I have to say the follow with the piece of skull missing was a bit much.
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The surgeon did the same for me when I had my R prophy MX (the left was already gone). We laughed about it a bit, but he said he doesn't ever want to get out of the habit of verifying it EVERY time. You start making exceptions for "obvious" cases and the next thing you know, you forget to do it. So I have no problem with the surgeons developing safer habits.
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I was also asked about a bazillion times which breast was being operated on. I said left....that's "my" left, not yours.
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Mine took a (sterile) Sharpie and wrote "YES" on that shoulder. And then threw the Sharpie away. Oh well, I'm sure that didn't add terribly to the cost of the surgery. It also went with the (nonsterile) Sharpie I used to write "NO" anywhere on my L arm they might have tried to stick me or get a blood pressure, as I'd had lymph nodes removed when they did the initial MX. The surgeon and nurses liked that. Never can be too safe.
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Yeah I still have the writing on my shoulder.
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Here's a good one. I was just stopped at the door of Wal-mart for suspected theft. They thought my drains were stolen goods I was trying to smuggle out of the store.
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Stormynyte: Oh dang, I just spit my coffee out of my *nose*. I hope you showed them exactly what you were trying to steal under your shirt - and I hope it made them fell *really* uncomfortable and even a little stupid. I appreciate them "just doing their job," but wow. Wow.0
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Ok, stop the thread I think Stormynyte just won :-). What did they say when you showed them?
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Had my lumpectomy yesterday. Pre surgery, the guy across from me was getting hell from the docs/nurses bc he had done NONE of his pre-op labs and ekg. They were all kind of exasperated. So right after all this, i feel like i have to use the bathroom, so a nurse takes me back with my iv fluids.......and we walk in and the guy had left the seat up! The nurse and i both looked at eachother......and both said at the same time - " that says a lot about a man who doesnt put the seat back down" and laughed about it!
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One really clueless TSA agent told me I had to remove those things (surgical drains) so they could go through the xray. I said "they are drains from my surgery", she said, "but there is an unknown liquid in them, that is not allowed". UGH!
Had to demand a supervisor, then a private room, complete strip down (nearly) and educating of personnel on surgical drains! What a ditz! They wiped every inch of the tubing, dressings, etc.0 -
omg!!! and Im sure you had some kind of doctors note.
My friend said she wont go thru those full bodyscans since dx, and carries her path reports with her when she travels and hasnt had a problem, but does have to go thru patdowns.
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