The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
-
Oh kerberlady - I am so sorry for your experience with your co-workers. I retired early from teaching - the year before I was diagnosed. I was teaching Alternative Ed. - very stressful-I did not know I was ill. I was always exhausted and did not feel well. I just thought I was burned-out, so I retired early and supplemented my very small retirement check with subbing at a different school than the one I taught at. I would never sub at the school I previously worked at - Only three people out of all the staff even bothered to send me a card when I was going through treatment. I worked with those people for TEN years at a small rural BOCES. There were only 15 staff members - I thought we were a very close group - obviously not. You are right - it really hurts.
0 -
Kerrberlady, it is clear why that is hurtful, and your co-workers should get it. That is terrible that the super promoted a fund-raiser for one person and not another. That is terrible policy. I think you should send a note to the HR office pointing out the favoritism. These people are really naive if they think that every year there won't be some new health crisis in the lives of the staff. What will the criteria be for who should be supported? If co-workers decide on their own time who to support, that's one thing, but to have an officially sanctioned fund-raiser for select employees is ridiculous. I'm so glad you got it out--and that you spoke out about the unfairness.
0 -
Kerrberlady I would feel so hurt too. --Especially raising kids on u'r own and working all this time doing it. If a fundraiser was planned it certainly should have been planned for u also. I'm not saying it was wrong for him--but u'r right The household was bringing in money and I' sure they would have been all right--maybe less $$$ but enough. I'm glad u had the guts to say what u thought and I'm sure other people will hear (as they should) and as far as I'm concerned U did what u felt was right and good for you.0
-
This is such a great thread. Tomorrow will be my first day going without a wig or hairpiece at work. I've got maybe 1/4-1/2" of hair. I'm dreading to hear what people will say.
I've had a handful of idiotic things said to me. Speaking of fundraising, we had a staffmember at work dx'ed with end stage cancer (not sure what kind) about two months ago. It was very abrupt. My company threw me a big fundraiser after I was diagnosed, which I greatly appreciated, so I was eager to offer to organize one for this staffmember. The day of the fundraiser, the co-worker's boss came to me and started out telling me that she appreciated what I was doing, and that it was basically my obligation to give a fundraiser since I'd had one. Really!?! I thought that was really mean. I don't feel like I "owe" people fundraisers now. And also I am still going through this and have a rough time getting my work done some days, without the added work of organizing a fundraiser.
I have nicknamed myself "The Cancer Ambassador" at work because after people found out I was diagnosed, everyone with a loved one who has cancer started coming to me to talk to me about it. There's two women with parents who have terminal cancer and they are sure to update me at least once a week. I sympathize for all they are going through, but seriously, I don't want to hear about it.
I've had a couple people cheerfully tell me that I must be excited about getting reconstruction to get a nice new breast, and maybe a tummy tuck too if I get a DIEP. I'm seriously thinking about printing out the worst DIEP photos I can find off of the internet to show people who make stupid statements like that. Really, a scarred, numb breast is a good thing? Really!?!
The best though was a co-worker who came to me to tell me about how she can relate, because she has been through it too. I asked her what had happened, and she said she had cancer surgery. I pressed a little more and the story was that she had a lump in her breast, had "cancer surgery" to test it and thank goodness it was benign. I wanted to say "WTF!" and smack her but I held my tongue. If she ever dares to bring it up to me again I'm going to kindly but firmly explain to her that having a biopsy on a benign lump is not "cancer surgery." I can't believe she goes around telling people that.
0 -
Camille and riley I have a place that i save posts. It's really related to wounds , but our discussion would be incomplete unless I transferred camille your question and riley your resonse. I'd like permission to transfer your posts so , when the time comes to refer someone --there is a logical sequence. If i don't hear from you here I will PM you. sassy
0 -
Go right ahead. I don't mind.
0 -
riley thanks-
sassy 0 -
That was wonderful that u'r co-workers gave u a fundraiser--but I don't think it means u r obligated to do the same. It's supposed to be a kind giving, nit an obligation. Geeze
Oh and the cancer lady--wow she wants attention, tell her be careful what she thinks about it ight come true and it's a nightmare.
I still amazes me what people think like telling u about their terminal parents, I know they are in pain and rightfulky so--but to try get get comfort from u--they're not thinking cuz they think since u have it u understand not realizing how u feel about hearing the stories of what is hapoening. Maybe if she comes to u again u can politely say it upsets u so much to hear about her parents and u'r so sorry, but it's to difficult to talk about for u.??? I don't know I probably would do that, maybe LOL
0 -
Almost as good as the girl that told me, after I told her to stop complaining about her job to me, and if it was that bad she should quit, because life could be worse, you could have cancer. I totally went off on her when she told me, "Well, I almost did."
I got in her face and said, you can almost have a car accident, you can almost fall down the stairs, you can almost flunk a class, but you don't "almost" have cancer, you either do or you don't. I would appreciate in the future that you keep your complaints to yourself and stay away from me with your negative attitude. I am trying to avoid all negativeness in my life right now.She didn't talk to me the rest of the year. Oh she talked about me, but then ignorance is ignorance. So I don't care! But yeah, there is no almost in cancer.
0 -
Kerr u got lucky u don't have to talk to her anymore----she can talk about u all she wants--u have other matters to attend to.
She almost had it hmmmm she might go into a trial for almost having cancer.
0 -
"Almost only counts in horseshoes."
Don't remember where I heard/read that, but I've used it many times to good effect.
0 -
NM, I always heard it as "Almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and drive-in movies." And aren't I dating myself by mentioning drive-in movies? Hee. Not that I ever made out in a car at a drive-in movie. Of course not.
0 -
Don't you guys mean "CLOSE" only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades?
0 -
D'oh!
0 -
Thanks for the Chuckle!
Riley as for your pick....I'm thinking I also forgot my V-8 this morn too! Hahahaha!
Good Job ladies!
0 -
The other day, a work friend of mine told me to "Turn that frown upside down." Really?
0 -
I am learning to be friendly, cool but distant with those that completely ignored me during my year of cancer treatment when I run into them. It is quite the challenge, but I am up for it!
Sometimes I am more grateful for the people who said stupid sh*t to me than the ones who were supposedly my friends but said absolutely nothing!!
0 -
Hi Denise- I am newly diagnosed and only beginning this process. Its mind boggling that your friends have said NOTHING to you??? You have to wonder what in the hell is going through their minds that they say nothing...fear maybe? BTW, gonna check out your blog.
0 -
OH mrskimber47 - the incredible disappearing friend is remarkable in their silence. Several people I considered very good friends just vanished when I got my dx. Other people whom I would have considered merely acquaintances stepped up and were much more supportive. It's weird. I understand some of it. My best friend for these last 32 years old has never brought up the subject of my health and gets real wiggy if I talk about what's going on. I understand it. She lost her sister to bc a few years back and she's always lived on the shores of de river nile. But others who don't call, or write, or even comment on my FB? It's hard to deal with. I'm sure fear has a lot to do with it.
0 -
Cindy- since my dx, 80% of the people who know have shown some interest in how I'm doing, while 1 friend who I've known for more than 2 decades as disappeared from my fb... To be honest, I don't really care. My best friend since my early twenties has been amazing and sends me cards to cheer me up. Its my family that's stepped up for me thus far. I keep trying to tell my mother, who lives with my husband and I to relax a bit. She's 80 and is taking my diagnosis pretty hard. I don't want her health to decline because of mine.
Sorry about your dificulties and hope hope hope you're on your way to a full recovery!
0 -
had a good one today...old employee who quit the day before I left to have my BMX came into my store today to shop. She asked me if I at least was given the best case scenerio? I looked at her and said "No ..it was a very aggressive one and has a high risk of recurrence." So she asked the splendid "Oh well did they at least get it all?'" ERRRRR!! I just looked at her and said " I sure hope so"
Mags
0 -
Mags- I am sorry that you were faced with the epitome of ignorance today
but you handled it very well... I bet you're wondering what it would have been like to slap her, how it would have felt to vent, or scream and yell, but you didn't... You kept it together! We're all sisters in this place and I am so very happy to have found all of you. (((hugs))) 0 -
mrskimber, what does your avatar say? Looks interesting...
0 -
It does I was trying to figure it out too. On e of these days I'm going to remember how to do avatars I've done it before so I could do it again. Well I have nothing to do hahahahaha I give it a go. LOL
0 -
You can get a close up of an avitor by just ckicking the zoom on your keyboard or the little 100% button on your monitor.
It says NO NO
Not the Buttons
0 -
barbe, I blew it up and it's Mr. Bill on his back with a hand coming down, and he's saying "No, no. Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!" LOL
0 -
Oh that's so cute I always like Mr. Bill Oh No---funny stuff.
0 -
Not Mr. Bill. Its the gingerbread man from the movie Shrek. He is protesting the removing of his gumdrop buttons as he was being tortured so he would tell where the rest of the fairytale creatures were hiding. Lol
0 -
Oh I loved thst movie---it was so fun.
0 -
Everyone, its actually Gingy from Shrek and he does say; "NO NO, not the gumdrop buttons!" I was thinking of my nipples when I chose this. Humor in EVERYTHING, makes everything a little better. LOL, even though today I hate every thing...
0
