The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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They are suppposed to pat you down in a private room if you request it. Most people don't know this & have to put up with the humiliation because the agents don't tell them.
Leah
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I think we should all flash our implants, or our boobs with scars on them or our foobs to anyone...it may be evil...but wouldn't it be fun?
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Yes, but then you might be arrested for indecent exposure...
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I flew American Airlines--supporting Susan B Komen on their advertising. I flew out of TPA recently and did not have to go thru that machine then. I told my husband the next time I will just pull up the top and show it all--new nipples included. I, too, am not the least bit modest about this. I yelled loud enough to get attention. I'm a very outspoken person, but I hate that my "sisters" who are struggling would have to go thru this.
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Can't get arrested for indecent exposure if we don't have nipples! I'll "take one for the team" and do the flash at security for y'all!!! I have no shame..ehehehhehee
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Well, barbe, then I'd better hurry up and do it before my revision for nipples! tehehe
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I would pull up my top too!
I don't regard my implants as breasts either and if people are asking me questions about the recon I offer to show them but rarely does anyone take me up on it. Obviously others see them as breasts.
Before I decided on recon I wondered if I would be able to go topless at the beach if I didn't have recon. My DH said 'you may be able to, but I couldn't' - meaning he wouldn't like to see me like that but I ROFLd for ages at that one.
Rae
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I haven't been through such a machine, yet! But while thinking about it one day, I thought I would like to give them something to look at.
The first thing I thought of was some tin-foil cut in the shape of a skull and crossed bones. Stuck to my flat side, it would probably be taken as a threat and I would get into BIG trouble. There is also a grinning key ring skull which one could paint with metallic paint........or a striking snakes head ...........or maybe a rampant.........um...........male.............whatsit. I'd have to make sure there was someone with a video camera nearby so I could catch the facial expressions of the airport staff.
Sheila.
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Sheila, didn't you know you can't use a camera at customs!!! I almost got arrested last year when I took a picture of my daughter putting her wedding dress through security. I though that'd be a good shot to explain to her kids.
Well, there was a guard with her (?) back to me and when I took the picture she whipped around and belted "You can't take pictures in security!" I was up for a long, lengthy argument on that one, but my DH wanted to get on the plane....
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I'm frequently pulled aside for a hand wand, due to metal in my hip. I gaze around, and see my co-terrorists---the artificial joint club. Some devices go off, some don't, and some personnel have made me cry from embarrassment (sorry, I can't stand on one leg, shall I explain why?). Now I guess I have to worry about all my clips showing up in the machines. We have the body scan type at Salt Lake. My congressman was all for "protecting" us until it was his wife on view, then it became an issue of protecting modesty. Don't complain too loudly, or they'll put you on the no-fly list.
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I'm flying in two weeks out of BWI where we have the scanners. I've been mulling about whether to refuse to go through it and ask for a manual check - something about having my basically nude body on display in a remote dark room with gawd-knows-who gawking at it offended me - I think I'd rather look someone in the eye as they check me.
But after reading this thread, I think I'll go through it, but I'll be very loud if I'm questioned, and if things get bad I'll go the indecent exposure route. I've had recon but no nips yet - I had some scarring issues and I want to have another revision before going for nips, so that'll show 'em if they get too personal - scars, no nips, and all!!
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OK - so where are all the news stories about even ONE person who was stoppped by those scanning machines and turned out to be someone who was planning an attack? I personally question the effectiveness of the machines and a lot of other "security" arrangements.
The trouble is - security at airports tends to be reactive. Planes were hijacked using box cutters? OK, no sharp objects. Someone else put some stuff in his shoes? OK, everyone take off your shoes. Someone else brought liquied explosives? OK, no liquids.
But are any of the security personnel really trained properly? The head of security at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv said in an interview that the first thing to do when screening passengers is to look them in the eye when you talk to them. And EVERYONE is questioned individually before any suitcases are taken at the check-in desks. When I've flown out of airports in the US, I'm never asked anything by any security personnel.
But the TSA keeps going more and more high-tech. And the situation in airports is so abysmal that a lot of people aren't flying anymore if they can avoid it.
OK, down off my soapbox now.
Leah
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Today at the PS office for first post op follow up after BMX with TEs: the lady next to me leans over and says "would you do it again" and I said "I didn't have a choice". She didn't talk to me anymore. My dh said I should have said, loudly, "hell yeah, it saved my life getting these tits cut off and redone".
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Regina, I like your husband already. Sometimes it takes that brashness to get someones attention.
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Sooo........Barbe, would photos reveal the tight security measures in place? Or maybe, inadvertantly, get a pic of someone naked on the scanning machine? Or would the flash detonate a bomb? Or blind the staff long enough for someone to attack them?
I didn't know about the camera thing, has never crossed my mind.
Sheila.
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Sheila, if there is trouble to be found, I'll find it!.....sigh. We used to travel a lot and there were certain countries we wouldn't even go to because of me. If I saw something bad going down, I'd be the idiot who'd step in and try to change a culture from beating their wives or kids. Or I'd get arrested for saying hi to a cop or something. So we just stayed away.
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Leah: I'm with you. I've heard Israeli security guys interviewed on NPR, and they assess people based on reactions to their list of questions.
My son's beard trimmer was confiscated when he flew out of Newark to come home for Christmas. What, he was going to trim someone to death?
I've driven over the Hoover Dam with guns in my truck more than once. They guys stop me, ask where I'm going, middle-aged white lady says "dog show," and I'm on my way. The inconsistencies boggle the mind.
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Talk about inconsistencies. I have flown sitting next to a woman who was knitting. Have you seen the points on those needles? I'm sure that somebody could do more damage with one of those than with a beard trimmer.
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I'm thinking the woman in the mini-mall has borderline personality disorder. they have such inner shame that they project it onto others! Yes, it was a cruel, despicable act. But I get some comfort in knowing that these people are suffering inside more than we know.
My mother has BPD. I have learned that she is mentally ill; but I'm always trying to clean up the "messes" she creates. She'll deny having said anything nasty b/c that would cause her shame. God, I hope that wasn't my crazy mother who said such an atrocious thing! On behalf of family members of persons with BPD, I apologize. I wish we could lock them up and throw away the key. I'd still visit my mother and make sure she is well-cared for but at least she would not be allowed to hurt other people!
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Eileen, One thing I have learnt in the last few decades is that while its possible to go through the world apologising for your children and trying to get them to change their ways, you simply can't also take on the guilt of your parents and you will not get them to change their ways. You can however leave home. You are meant to love them, you don't have to like them. And looking after them is often better done by people with less emotional involvement, who aren't simoultaneously required to hold down another job and run teenagers.: I discovered this when I was considering looking after my mother, and a friend lent me a book called The Selfish Pigs' Guide to Caring. After reading it I knew I was just not up to the job and would have to delegate it to a team of experts: I think it was the cartoon of a wheelchair at the top of the stairs with the caption, "It's normal to think these things, it's not normal to do them. Get out and get help"..or words to that effect. Its a hard call.
Leah, I had the good fortune to come through Ben Gurion last Easter (which was also Passover week) (09: "last" being pre BC, i kind of missed this easter somewhere in my rads) and the security, no all the airport staff, were very pleasant and polite considering the tension at the time. They did query why I had two bibles in my case (actually the second was my huge guidebook, and I had to lie and say it was mine when actually it was on loan......) would do it again anytime.
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Even if I had fipples (and I am thinking about having them done), they still aren't nipples and no one could ever claim that they are. If someone told me that they look like nipples, I would point out that many drag queens look like women, but they aren't no matter how good they look.
I would still pull my shirt up.
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sassa
lol, well said!
I only had recon for the shape under clothes and was never going to have fipples. My scarring is extensive and will remain obvious - very 'unhelpful' skin the surgeon said - but he had always wanted to 'finish off the job' with fipples and said he would revise the scars at the same time. I said 'no thanks, I AM DONE!' I think he will always see me as 'unfinished'.
Rae
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Good on ya, Barbe, every one needs a champion! There seems to be a lot of aggressive people walking the streets these days, I hope you pick your fights wisely, for your sake.
(((((()))))) Sheila.
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I can't believe that woman in the mini mall! Maybe she was a prostitute. What was she doing there so early anyway? Did her John just drop her off! The nerve of people!
Okay, as far as the airport is concerned... I got annoyed when they would make me remove my blazer after having a bmx. That blazer helped me conceal my surgery. All I would have on to protect my foobs was a sportsbra, so I looked very square/funky (esp with the tissue expanders). I can't imagine being felt up and scanned. That is a serious violation of privacy!!!
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Yes, lucky us, because if we have a card, it is only $8 to park. Those poor people who choose to visit us have to pay $16.Tell them if they drive in will you ,or go to work, and stay for a few hours, you will comp them for your parking, lol!
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A little background - my bilat was 10/24/07.
Today I went to visit my brother, his wife and their new baby in the hospital. I was holding the baby up close when my MOTHER says to the baby "are you hungry? you won't be able to get any food from there"!
I wanted to punch her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Relatives, eh, Who'd have them? That's why friends were invented - my favourite fridge magnet says "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves"
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Held- I think some of us would truly choose to be orphans given the chance! Love your tag line, by the way!
So the dumbest thing said to me is after my exchange surgery last month a friend I have known for 30+ years, who had strangely gone AWOL as soon as I got my DX six months earlier, sends me a test message that says, "So, are you voluptuous now?" Needless to say I haven't texted her back yet.
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Just shortly before my lumpectomies, I had to go to the post office to pick up a letter. The little machine I had to write my name in was broken; but the employee didn't explain exactly what wasn't working. After a little confusion, I finally got it figured out.
She handed me the letter and said: "Here's your reward. You met your challenge for the day." Smirking! The "reward" was from the attorney telling me one of my houses was being foreclosed on. If I hadn't been so upset and depressed over the cancer diagnosis, I probably would have told her all about my challenges for the day.
As it was, I just kind of chuckled and walked out.
It will always serve as a reminder to be kind because I never know what another person is going through.
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held - {{{hugs}}} - How can mothers say such thoughtless, hurtful things - mine does too. The worst is that she says again and again how lucky SHE is that she has got to 92 and hasn't had to face a life threatening dx!! She is old and has always been self centred so I am past angry now but every time it happens my love for her shrinks a little bit more.
kate33 - thinking about something really cutting to text back are you? lol
Rae
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