The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Iago, Do you automoatically get another kind of test then if your Mamograms are always inconclusive? It would be so annoying to get that result and have noting else offered.
GInger
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Well ladies, I'm brac 2 positive but didn't know this until it was all over. My mom died due to complications of chemo for BC. Had mammo's since I was 34 years old religiously every year. Like Lago said, my 2 cm tumor did NOT show up on the mammo 5 months earlier or any of them--very dense breast tissue. When I had my biopsy, I insisted on seeing the films of the mammo done 5 months earlier and no, I could not see it. No one ever discussed dense breast t with me or told me to have a breast MRI. I was at a major cancer institue and they missed it. My platform is get your mammo but ask about your breast tissue. If it says you have dense breast tissue, insist on a baseline MRI.
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No I didn't but I don't have to worry about that anymore since I have no breasts now. My mom's doctor requested a US on her but the imaging department wouldn't do it. Medicare doesn't pay for it unless there's reason. Hopefully now that she is in a higher risk because of me they will approve it.
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Yes, lago, that is a plus! I had a mammo and an US and the tumor was found with the US. I had issues in my mid-20s and have been getting mammos regularly since. When I think about all the radiation I was exposed to, not to mention the discomfort and anxiety, I'm just so glad I never have to have another mammo.
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I had discharge so the mammo was upgraded to a diagnostic before I had the appointment… so I had an US too. I did have a scare 4 years ago and had a Mammo & US. But they said it was nothing. Guess what, they were wrong. Tumor in the same location. There should have been a follow up OS. They would have found this a lot sooner I bet.
So back to the dumb things people say. Anyone have a new stuff to post?
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suzyqinmiami- Thank you for your kind words. I really tried not crying today, but right before I went for my first chemo today I sadly managed to have a major breakdown. (It was stress, lots and lots of stress built up to this moment) Then, I somehow managed to take a shower and off I went and did what I had to do. Interestingly---I thought of chemo today for the first time ever since I was diagnosed and while I was hooked up the machine --- that it is my life saver medicine and not a poison. Plus, it definitely helped that two of my best friends were there with me and we had some laughter as well. Thank you all for allowing me to share my miseries with you all. I know you are truly the only ones who know what I am going through.
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In September, my boss was diagnoised with throat cancer. He is a really great guy, I really like im and I'm very sorry that he is having to go through this. We all know the conversation you don't want to have with a coworker or friend is how nice the people are at the radiology and the status of the puzzle on the table in the waiting room, right?
Anyrate, he has been out since his biopsy in advance of starting radiation and chemo and the second in command has take over.
I have lost count of the number of times #2 has come into my office or said in passing how poor Boss is going to be so tired from radiation and how it keeps building and how he can't work and how it burns your skin.
Really? I had no idea. .....
Same #2 came in at my review time and complained about my lack of efficiency while I was having rads and how I wasn't getting enough work done. . . . Its like what my boss has is Real Cancer and me, I'm just faking. . . . .Its all stupidcancer---can there really be a competition? Like radiation says "oh not going to be so rough on this person, they don't have enough cancer to merit real exhaustion!"Then there are the people who proclaimed when I was done with zaps that I was completely done and cured and never had to think about it again. They got quiet when I went for my 6 month check-up and ended up with a surgical biopsy [all clear happily enough]
yargh!
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Have I mentioned that the nurse at my Family Practice called to tell me my mammogram was OK, the day before I was scheduled for my mastectomy?
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alexanjb How did this happen?
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I know this isn't the right thread, but I just listened to a voice mail from my radiation oncologist who said that my mammography yesterday was great. He must have just gotten the report and called me immediately - unexpected eventhough he did the same thing with my MRI results.....6 months ago.
Of course he was the one who said when we were first discussing rads......if it were my mother..... and he was right, it would have been really weird if he had said .....if it were my wife....considering I am old enough to be his mother but you can see it still rankles!
Julie E
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Prior to being diagnosed, I was having mamograms and US's every six months for a couple of years. I had calcifications, but not micro so they weren't too concerned. The last time I had my mamo and US and they found nothing (in my dense breasts) they said why don't we do an MRI? It was blarrin on there.
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Jelson: I told my rad onc he'd made my day by saying "If you were my sister" instead of "If you were my mother." He was shocked, said he had brothers my age. Still...I thought it was nice.
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Gingerbrew: That's a good question. She was pretty flustered when I stuttered out that I was having a mastectomy the next day. I had been referred to a surgeon by my primary and I guess there was a problem with communications or something. My mammo showed dense tissue....
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Jelson: The radiologist said to me "if you were my mother ..." and I guess I had a look on my face because he quickly added "or my wife." I can give a good dirty look when it's necessary
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ladyinbama - lol. My onc (only saw him once) is the best BC onc in NZ but is about 75 and he didn't go anywhere near 'if you were my .....' Wonder if it would have been wife, sister or daughter? ROFL.0
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lady and rae--since I'm 68, my guess my surgeon would have said sister since he's not married. He definitely is one of the best around but everyone is afraid he'll retire. No one knows for sure how old he is but the best guesses among the medical community are at least 75 and probably over 80. Looks a young 60. His immanent retirement has been rumored for well over 10 years. He is not only well respected, he is much loved. Our hospital's new emergency wing is dedicated to him.
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When I was in the middle of rads the center where I had my mammo (for a lump I found) called to tell me I was due for a 6 month follow-up mammo. Mind you, this was not even about the lump but the other breast for some calcifications. The mammo center told me my lump was 'nothing'. She went on to say that if I didn't want to to come in that was fine. I told her that I was in the middle of rads.....and had just had a mastectomy for the lump they told me was 'nothing'. Poor woman couldn't get me off the phone fast enough. I know it wasn't nice but I am still a little peeved at them for dismissing my lump. If I had listened to them and ignored it I could have had a very different outcome.
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http://www.slate.com/id/2272767/pagenum/all/#p2
Thought this fit the conversation well today. Happy Halloween and Happy end to Pinktober
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kmmd--great article, thanks for posting the link!
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kmmd-Wonderful article.
Before I started chemo I called the Komen Foundation. I have a small (very, very small) travel buisness. After I was diagnosed I wanted to donate 10% of my earning from my travel business to a breast cancer organization. Of course the Komen Foundation came first to mind...it is everywhere and I was ignorant.
Yes, Komen would be happy to take my money after I signed a contract with them. I had to donate at least $25,000/year in order to "get in with them." I told them that was way more than I could promise...and they said "no thanks." Wow. I was turned down.
Luckily I found http://www.breastfriendsforever.org who would happily take my money to help support women undergoing treatment for BC financially. A much more worthy organization in my eyes.
Yesterday I was feeling good and went to the mall shopping with my husband. One of the stores had their pink October thing going and a rep from a local hospital present. I talked to her. She told me how many people are cured from BC. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that she was full of you know what. There is no cure from BC. Sure, there are those who were once diagnosed and treated and die at 92 from something else...be no one knows why. I told her that women still die from BC. I told her that even though I am "stage 2" I will always have this hanging over my head. I told her I could be diagnosed with mets and be stage 4 at anytime in my life. I told her there are no survivors until these women die of something else. It felt good to rant...I hate cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hooray for you, Travelgal!
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Travelgal I also like the American Cancer Society. While their focus is not just breast cancer I do like the way the organization is run. I also have used some of their services. They really do a good job providing free services and helping people navigate through many of the issues. Gilda's Club looks like another good cancer organization.0
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travelgal ~ Thanks so much for the link to BreastFriendsForever.0
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Hmm. Travelgal, I DO consider myself a survivor. Yes, I know that the cancer could recur (I've had not only breast cancer but non-Hodgkins as well, and either could recur), but I still would like to think that I have survived and thrived. Yes, I get that gut-clenching feeling every time I go for check-ups until I get the all-clear.
But I AM STILL A SURVIVOR.
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Mrs Bee - You and Travelgal are in very different places in your BC experience and that could explain your differing views to a certain extent. Judging by when you joined you are now 5 years out from dx. Time can bring acceptance but it also brings the irrefutable fact that you have survived. Travelgal however is newly diagnosed and still in treatment and is understandably sad and angry as we all were in those rollercoaster times. I applaud your ability to thrive following your treatment but some of us are just not as resilient even years out.
Travelgal - So often we feel we have to bite our tongue but sometimes it all becomes too much - I understand. I hope, at least, that the woman has some understanding now of the emotional outrage women feel toward this disease. She may also be a little more careful in the future talking to people who have had BC.
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Travelgirl, thank you for speaking for so many of us.
Ginger
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It hit me this morning what the dumbest and also, one of the most heartless comments I have received was when I had my interview with the anesthesiologist a week before my mastectomy (very recently: August, 2010). That is, when the anesthesiologist asked me whether I had children. And when I said "no, I didn't" he asked "why?" and I answered: "because I am 42 and have been trying to finish my college and my master's, so it just did not happen to my husband and I". His reply was: "Uhm, too bad, because if you had children then you would fight more" (he meant I would fight more for my life). Needless, to say I cried for about two weeks because for one, having no children is a very touchy subject in my life , as I always wanted a child but didn't get to have one and also, I thought after college I would still have a chance. Now that I am undergoing chemo as I write you this, the likelihood of ever having children is very slim. Oh, and one more thing: I did complain to the patient advocates about the anesthesiologist the day before my surgery, as I was terrified of him giving me the anesthesia.
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Mrs Bee - you are a survivor. You know what a true survior is. Sadly the unknowing public is under the impression that a survior is one has who won the prize (of completely and forever cured) and dances through life knowing they are cured forever.
A real survior like you has survived the treatments, currently has NED and lives life to the fullest accepting the fact that anything can re-occur .... but that will not stop you from living and being a meaningful contributor to society as a whole. You are the true SURVIVOR.
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Katiaw - comments like the one your anesthesiolgist said to you makes me wonder how a jerk like that funtions in life, let alone be a doctor.
Don't you wish we could legislate sensitivity in this world? I know this would be impossible...
Before I went into the travel business I worked as a RN from 1982-2000. What I found is there are only a handful of kind, sensitive doctors and the rest are ego ridden insensitve idiots with a high intellegence and next to no social skills. This anesthesiologist sounds like the leader of the pack.
Also...think about it. Anesthesiologists work mostly with sleeping patients and have little verbal interaction with patients....perfect job when you are smart but a jerk lacking social skills.
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I too consider myself a survivor. I survived a battle. When I tell people about my dx, which happened over a year ago, I say that I just spent a year battling BC. I know that the war is not necessarily over but I am surviving, every day. And every day I realize it could happen again. Maybe when I have survived for 5 years I will feel differently but I doubt it. My survivor perspective is like the "War on Terrorism". It wasn't something sudden, like an attack from a crazed dictator and his militia -- it is something insidious that my own body did. You can't wipe out terrorism, but you can collect intelligence and use it wisely in your defense.
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