thread for middle age to older Christian women.
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Chris, I can't even imagine how you feel or what you are going through. I know that it must be bad because I have "known" you for a few years as much as one can in cyberspace and you are certainly not one to whine or rant. I will be lifting you up right now as I detect fear and worry and I am sure I would be feeling the same thing. I do pray that this is a result of your chemo and flu shot combo. I am going to pray hard that Bria's school district will return to in person learning but I do know your concern over that as well with the bringing home of different germs. I am giving you a big cyber hug. I wish I could do something for you but I can pray and I will definitely do that right now.
Love
Nancy
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Chris, I’m so sorry you are feeling such fatigue with your treatments. I can understand a little of your fatigue, since I felt a lot of that with IBrance but I have a feeling that you are also worn out from the mental stress of working with Bria’s schooling. That is a lot to handle when you don’t feel well, and it sounds like you are also doing a lot of the normal housekeeping stuff too. It’s just too much for you right now. I don’t think I could do it even now when my only cancer med is Letrozole. I am praying for you and also that the schools open soon and you won’t have to do her online classes. You must have the patience of Job.
Nancy, so glad to hear you finished the forms for the VA. Hope all goes well, what a relief that has to be for you. It looks like the weather will be good for you to go downstate to see your mom. Even if she doesn’t understand your reason for being there, you will know that you went to celebrate her 95th birthday and that’s a big deal. Maybe there will be some tiny bit of her mind that will understand. I think you will feel good about the visit. Have a safe trip. You will be in my prayers.
Sending prayers for everyone here and all those reading this,
Love,
Faith (in the future)
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Dear sisters. I write with a heavy heart tonight. I am down at my Mom's and got in last night. The plan was my niece was going to come from Iowa and we and my sister were planning a visit with my Mom for today until I found out before leaving that they don't do weekend visits. So my niece wasn't going to be able to see my Mom at all.
I went over to my sisters house tonight and we were out on their front porch and I didn't hear my cell phone ringing in my purse. Long story short the nursing home called my house and my cell and couldn't reach me and then called my sisters house and she said why don't you answer. I found out around 8:30 or so that my Mom had passed at 6:20. They went to give her pills and she had peacefully passed.
Her 95th birthday was Monday and it was predicted to rain so I wasn't exactly sure when we were going to see her. My niece had to go back to work. I decided to have some flowers delivered to her place today and I dropped off one of my photo cards with Cammies face on the front and said we would be visiting soon. I was not allowed to go inside the facility. I have to take some joy in the fact that she got to see those flowers and read my card. I was so afraid she would think we had abandoned her. God knows best and we have to trust that. This was similar to my Dad passing in the hospital when we were shocked when it did happen.
So I am still in shock and I imagine trying to take it all in. I know she is in heaven and at one point my sister said she has all of her fingers now which I would have never thought of. She lost two fingers in a car accident when she was 9 years old.
We have some challenges in that the church closed it's doors over a year ago so right now we have no place for visitation or a funeral. There will be no church ladies to cook a meal and we can't all meet at a restaurant because of the pandemic so some things need to come together quickly. We do have the prepaid funeral already planned so that is a blessing now.
I would appreciate your prayers for the coming days.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy, you and your sister and family are in my prayers. I’m so sorry for your loss, what a shock this must be for all of you. I’m so sorry you didn’t get to see her one more time but at least she saw your card and flowers and she knows she is loved. Take comfort that she is resting in the arms of Our Dear Lord in heaven along with your dad. I am praying that somehow the funeral arrangements will all come together for you and the family. May the peace of Jesus Christ be with you all.
Love,
Faith (in the future)
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Nancy, my heart joins yours today in sadness over the loss of your mom. You and your sister are in my prayers during this difficult time. May God grant you peace and may the details of what you must do in the next couple of days come together smoothly and quickly. Chris
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Nancy, my heart breaks for you and your sister. May you feel the peace of God surround you.
You are loved,
Carol
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Nancy, I amen the sentiments expressed above. I am so sorry for your loss, but I know that you are comforted by the promise of seeing her again someday, and that she is in the arms of her Savior with a bright mind, perfect body and perfect joy and peace. Please know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers (as well as your sister). May our Lord comfort your hearts and grant you peace now and in the days to come.
With love and a hug,
Ade
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Dear Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you and your sister find peace today and in the days to come. May happy memories of your mom comfort you and your family. You are in my prayers.
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Oh dear Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. May the God of all comfort, comfort you and your sister in the coming days. Love, Jean
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Thank you all dear sisters for your kind words of comfort and your prayers. It has been an exhausting time and right now nothing is falling into place. We still have no church for the visitation and funeral. We are dealing with a funeral home which only goes into other buildings to oversee the visitation and funeral. We seem to be striking out on several fronts. The church which looked good on paper and many of my Mom's friends from her church that closed go to this church. However I just got word late that the pastor is leaving on vacation tomorrow. I left him a message on his cell and on his website and it is after 9PM and haven't heard anything from him. Actually just heard from this pastor and it is a NO. I completely understand with Covid and people coming into his church when he is not going to be there. So he suggested another church which we actually attended growing up. So we'll see. He did seem to think this was the responsibility of the funeral home to help us in this and when we meet with them tomorrow we will certainly bring this up. If we hadn't already prepaid for all of these services I could see just having a graveside service only but the cemetery would very hard to find as it is in the country and it is very small. So to say this has been difficult on top of the usual stresses of these things would be an understatement.
I would covet your prayers for some miracles to happen here.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy, we will pray for a miracle for you for all of these details you are suddenly having to deal with. My heart is heavy for you, but will hope and pray for the miracle that will bring comfort and joy to you and your sister and for all those who will mourn the loss of your mother. My own sweet mother died on her 85th birthday almost three years ago. I miss her so much.
Hugs and much love to you...
Carol
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Thank you Carol. It became clear to me after talking with a Pastor that said a big NO regarding renting out his church for the visitation and funeral that we needed to go to Plan B. Covid 19 was a big reason that it just made sense to not even have a church funeral. We met with the funeral director yesterday and he said they could do a viewing in his very tiny area which is not usually used for this purpose. So that is what we are going to do. The viewing will take place an hour before the funeral procession to the cemetery which is pretty far out of town in the country. There will be a graveside service which we had hoped our missionary cousin would officiate but he was in TX for the week so my sister's new church pastor will be officiating. We both felt a tremendous burden lifted after making that decision. With a BIG help from my niece who has professionally edited and is a graphic design artist we were able to get the obituary done and the picture collage for the guests made and sent off to the funeral home for them to do the brochure as a tribute to my Mom. I feel like we did the absolute best we could and will have to leave it at Jesus feet.
I know you understand the grief and loss as many of you have already experienced losing your mothers. I knew it was coming but you still are in shock when it happens. The Lord is giving me supernatural strength and I can feel the support from everyone praying. Thank you for that.
Love,
Nancy
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Good morning everyone!
Chris I am praying you get through the stress of your treatments... not a day at the beach for sure!
Nancy, I am so sorry to hear of your Mom's passing away. Cannot imagine how hard it was not to see her! My new job I started in Geriatrics in June and when I signed up for it in the fall had no idea I would be rounding on the Covid unit (although my collaborating physician usually does unless he is off). I call families to update them, the nursing home does FaceTime and also visits through a window but cannot tell you how it breaks your heart when someone passes and the family cannot be holding their hand. We have had no cases for a long time now but yikes I cannot wait for it to be over!
Praying for you and that God will give you peace. Sorry I am not on here much but life has been certainly interesting. Let us keep going to Jesus, the author and finisher and be used by Him in this nutty world. I truly believe He is rising up in us to be the light.
While I have not "met" everyone on this forum except when I was off work when in 2014 after my breast cancer journey please know you are often in my thoughts. Prayers for each person who is dealing with so many things. Hugs
Cindy
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Hi dear sisters.
This is the day after the funeral and I am alone today with starting on the legal affairs for my Mom and alone with my thoughts. I was supposed to go to my sisters but got too busy on the phone dealing with the affairs. Being put on hold for all the myriad calls that need to be made will be a super test of my patience for sure knowing that because of Covid they are longer wait times than usual.
Cindy, it is great to hear from you. I can't imagine working in the Covid unit but God has certainly placed you in a very important role in communicating with families who are under such tremendous stress having loved ones sick and not knowing if they will ever see their loved ones again. I never thought I would be one of those people losing a parent and not being able to see them. My Mom didn't have the virus but because of pandemic protocol we therefore were not able to see her while in quarantine. If it wasn't for the Lord I could see how people could lose their mind with worry. I am sure you are a very steady and calming voice of compassion for these families and that I am sure is a blessing. Check your PM's.
This song always slays me and I just had to listen to this tonight knowing that my Mom is beholding Jesus now. It is a strange bitter/sweet time of knowing she is now reunited with my Dad and all our family that has gone before her to heaven but feeling the enormous loss. I think the distractions of the list of things to do before and after the funeral are in some ways small blessings from the heavy load of loss and sadness.
If you have a few minutes this will bless you as no one can sing this like Sandi Patty can. Some of you that are not familiar with the Gaither's will wonder why it keeps showing Dottie Rambo. She wrote this song We Shall Behold Him and she had her own family trio called the Rambos with her husband Buck and daughter Reba.
Have a good night and weekend dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Sweet Nancy, thank you for reminding me of this song. It always stirs my heart also. I have been thinking of this a lot lately especially with all that is happening in current events. Sometimes I want Him to come quickly but then I think of my lost family members and want more time.
I have been praying for you during this time of grief and sorrow.
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Thank you Chris. I understand what you mean. I think we probably all have family and friends who need the Lord and have either fallen away or have just turned their back on Him. Thank you for your prayers. I hope you are feeling some better with your chemo and with Bria's remote learning. I talked with some family about that yesterday who have children who are teaching remotely and how crazy it is. Returning to normalcy is what we all want and I don't know if we will ever have a normal again. It may be a new normal. Take care. Praying you are doing better.
Love,
Nancy
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I haven't posted much lately but you have all (especially Nancy) been in my prayers.
We were exposed to folks who were directly exposed to a covid positive family at their church and who did become ill. So we self-quarantined for two weeks, which are up as of today. Neither of us felt well, but thankfully not truly sick either. (Mild cases?) During this time one of my dearest friends in her 90s lost her only son suddenly, and another dear friend's son had three 90% heart blockages and had stents put in. He now has kidney problems because of being under anesthesia for so long. Prehaps if he had insurance it would have been bypass surgery. One night we were up all night with Maggie. She seemed confused and shook, and her one hind leg was not in control. I could tell she was very frightened. We prayed, gave her an asprin, and watched her and she recovered by morning, but I thought we were losing her that long night.
Yet we give thanks for the Lord's love, presence, compassion and strength in hard stress filled times. Now, Nancy, you will begin to enter into a recovery phase (from which we are never really completely out of) but a new phase of life anyway. Everyday will have its own challenges but you have only to whisper His Name and He is always there for you to comfort, guide and lead you onward until the day you are with Him and your loved ones again, our Blessed Hope. You remain in my prayers, and yes, We SHALL Behold Him, what a wonderful song and reminder!
Hugs to all,
Ade
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Hi dear sisters. My photo below won the newspaper contest and appeared in the paper today. I can see it online but thought I would share that with you again. The Lord has used my photos before to give me some joy amidst sadness. This sunset seems fitting to win four days after my Mom's funeral. I have had the old song I'll Fly Away on my heart this week when searching for music when I thought we would have a church service for the funeral. So with the hot air balloon flying away seems even more appropriate.
Ade, it sounds like you both have been in deep waters for sure. I am assuming that you think you both had the virus. If so I am surely glad it was only a mild case. I am sorry to hear of your friends loss and the other's issue with kidneys after stents put in, I thought for sure the rest of your sentence about Maggie was going to not be good but totally relieved that she seems to be okay.
I was doing really well until yesterday and then had a meltdown. I am overwhelmed by the legal things that might need to be done. I don't think I will totally absorb everything until I get back home after the majority of legal things are finished or at least started. I was able to make a big dent on Friday with legal things and my niece was a big help making calls as well.
God gave me a super gift with a friend who was on BCO when I first joined. We have become good email friends and she is a retired attorney and has helped me with legal documents in the past. She offered to help me now with part of my Mom's estate and that has helped. I really need to get home as I have meds running out and I am definitely feeling time pressure to wrap things up as much as I can so my sister won't be strapped with this stuff. My niece coming from Iowa was a super help to my sister and to me. She stayed the whole week and worked remotely for her job.
My new pastor as busy as he is and as big a flock as he oversees sent me an email wanting my phone number so he could pray with me. I just missed his call a little while ago as my phone said restricted when the call came through. When I realized it was him there was no number to call back.....hence restricted.
I feel like I have been in a time warp this week. I hope you all are doing okay. I know there are so many challenges that all of you face. I am very grateful for this little online community. It has given me so much support and encouragement and love through good and sad times.
Have a good week dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy your photo winning an award and it even speaking to your heart of our 'flying away' are gifts of comfort from the Lord, as are the pastor's phone prayers, your neice's help and the friend's legal help. Meltdowns are normal and even healthy as we need to express our feelings at times like these. When my uncle died (right when I was doing his EKG in the emergency room!) my aunt took it calmly and started making arrangements even then. (He was only 56 and died all of a suddden from a heart attack so she couldn't have been prepared.) We were amazed at her composure. However some time after that she got really ill and I think it was because she didn't release or acknowlege her feelings of grief when my uncle died. I still cry even almost 50 years after my grandma passed when I think of her. It's ok. I pray you are able to just tackle one herdle at a time and not look at the volume of tasks ahead...one day at a time.
It was our son & grandaughter who stopped by fresh from church two weeks ago today - and now his wife (our daughter-in-law) is sick with the virus. To be honest I am so achy, headache, head feels like it is going to explode, nose running/stopped up, dizzy, weak, gut acting up. I am wondering if I am not starting it too now and the mild maladies were just a warm up. I'm glad we quarantined when we did. James isn't up to par but not feeling as bad as I do. We have stuff to take and I just had made a huge pot of veggie soup so we will jsut stay hunkered down and wait it out. Maybe it will be nothing after all.
)Love,
Ade
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Nancy, amazing photo and blessing from God. A meltdown is totally acceptable with all the burdens you are carrying. I pray God sustains you in your grief and continues to send help during all the paperwork and times of stress.
Ade, I am praying that this sickness proves short and mild and that God will send you extra rest and peace. You and James do not need this now with everything else. Hopefully you and your family will overcome all of this and find respite quickly. Claiming the blood of Christ for you.
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Thank you Chris. I know I had not allowed myself to really let down because there was so much to do. I needed to have a release.
Ade, I will pray that you feel much better. I am sorry this is in your family as well. I will take note of your aunt.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy please accept my belated but sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. Love, Jean
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Thank you Jean. I am still at my Mom's house taking care of her estate. These things always take more time that you think they are going to. I ended up using my Mom's lawyer as some of the things needed documents from a lawyer. The VA things of course.
I hope to get back home in a few days.
Take care. I bet the fall leaves are gorgeous in your neck of the woods.
Love,
Nancy
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Good morning dear sisters. This is the day to hopefully wrap up some of the big things dealing with my Mom's estate. After today my sister and I will own my Mom's home providing things go smoothly. Much to do and hopefully I can get home soon.
Walk by faith not by sight. It sounds so easy doesn't it? As we give up more and more control of our lives to the Lord I believe this concept and truth gets easier but we all know that is something we need to work on daily. For me hourly.
Have a great day dear sisters.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy, praying that all went well today and you and your sister now own your mom’s house and can sell it quickly. Although I’m sure that will bring very mixed emotions. You are so right, it’s not easy to walk by faith and not by sight.
Praying for everyone’s needs tonight.
Love and prayers,
Faith (in the future).
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Thank you Faith. The day was pretty crazy and at times chaotic darting all over town filing things and finally collapsing at home. I guess I can call it home now. My new old home and my sisters. It is very surreal at this point. My Dad and Mom had this house built in 1950 so my whole life has revolved around this house in some fashion and certainly a lot in the last 10 years with my Mom's dementia. The thing that gives me peace is her mind is not confused and anxious anymore. She is at peace and living with joy. That helps me to deal with the loss.
How are you doing? Did you consent to see another therapist? Are the meds helping you at all. I sure hope something or some combination of treatments will hit a sweet spot for you and really help you to feel better.
I am going back home tomorrow. I really needed another day here to clean but I have supplements and meds running out as I stayed a week more than I had planned before knowing my Mom was going to pass away.
Have a good night.
Love,
Nancy
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Hello ladies.....
I've been gone for quite a while and I am so sorry about that. I had my bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction, so I was down for the count for a bit. I just recently went back to work, so it's been a crazy time of trying to adjust and get back into the swing of things again. I have not forgotten about all of you and the incredible love and support y'all have shown me. (Thank you so much, by the way!)
Nancy, I am so, so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. Please accept my belated condolences. I will keep you in my prayers for peace and comfort.0 -
Hi Karen,
I hope Isaiah 50:7 has been your verse to sustain you during your chemo and your surgeries. It is good to hear from you and I know going through your treatments and bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction could not have been easy under normal circumstances but during a pandemic is really amazing and I am sure very scary as well. I am glad to hear you are back to work. That is a huge step forward in what has been a long journey for you I would imagine. I hope you can adjust to working and that you will be on the road to a full recovery. I know you will still have your targeted therapy for a while based on how some of my other friends from this forum with HER + have had to do.
Thank you for your condolences. I just got back home on Thursday night and trying to go through my pile of mail. It will not be an easy thing for me but God has seen me through so far in this new normal. I am still dealing with legal issues which take time and still closing accounts etc for my Mom. Now owning my own house and half of my parent's house with my sister seems very strange and surreal. We will want to do what we need to and sell as soon as we can get a plan together since I am three hours away and my sister is twenty minutes from the house.
Take care and let us know how you are doing and how we can pray for you.
I do appreciate everyone's support during this most difficult time.
Love,
Nancy
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Here is a view of God's autumn splendor from my back deck. The mountains in the far back are the Shwangunks where they do rock climbing. Love, Jean
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Jean, beautiful picture!
Etnasgrl, so glad to hear you are recovering and back at work. I am always amazed with you ladies who go back to work after your incredible surgeries.
Nancy, thinking of you this morning.
My daughter and I are considering a quick trip to AZ to visit my auntie (it's about six hours by car.) We were supposed to go last April until the Covid hit. Since my DD and DGD are both doing online schooling, and my daughter's clinicals are over for the semester, it is possible. We did a half-hour (kindergarten) using the phone for my grand-daughter while we traveled to the pumpkin patch the other day and it worked fine. My husband will stay home and deal with the painters (outside condo painting.) I can visit my new sister while there too. Hopefully it will provide a much needed mental boost. This is the best window for me in between medical appointments, etc., until after Christmas. That is the only positive about the quarantine--online schooling means flexible locations.
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