thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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Hershey, yes I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think once I can resume walking it will help but just doing what I feel like I need to in my house and yard zaps my energy for now but it is improving. Yes, I spend a lot of time on YouTube watching tutorials. I have saved myself some plumbing repairs on my toilets by watching them too. Finding the water pump tutorial hopefully will really save me money over time. However I was obsessed with making a birdbath for hummingbirds but decided to take advantage of Amazon's sale and bought a big saucer type birdbath and then a tiny little solar panel that will shoot water out. I think the birds are going to love this.
Chris, I am so glad to hear that your scans are tomorrow. I know not only the afternoon time but just to find out what your new med is doing will help. I will be praying for a GOOD result. Yes, I understand the short growing season but that is not stopping me from buying another flower possibly today. On sale at least. More of my flowers bit the dust so even if I enjoy them for a short period of time I will go for it. Your anniversary cake is gorgeous. Your Aunt obviously has some cake decorating skills for sure. The history of all the 50th anniversaries is really special. Okay, I will admit that sometimes I am a little clueless BUT with that said is the first picture of you and your DH? I think I get that it is your parents as the topper of your cake. Who is the couple with the guy in uniform? Lovely pictures. If that first picture is you two you both look so young and beautiful!!! I will be praying that you will not have added pain from your shot mixing with your chemo. I know this has not been an easy time for you. Praying that things will improve.
Have a good day everyone.
Love,
Nancy
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Chris, it's wonderful your scan has been moved to tomorrow. The afternoon appointment time is a nice bonus, too. Your photos and the history behind them are really special. You and your beau are absolutely beaming, so full of joy and love. The faux cake looks good enough to eat, and the teapot is a lovely family treasure. Thank you for sharing with us.
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Hello, ladies. I am 4 years out from diagnosis,6/18 two mastectomy surgeries, 8/18 (BC), 8/20(prophylactic) and a prophylactic oophorectomy (ovaries and Fallopian tubes). 4/21 I have had treatment for lymphedema left side as I also had 5/8 positive nodes on left(cancer side)
I also suffer from OCD. I really struggle with fear of reoccurrence. Have had some scares, pet scans, biopsies, but PTL, NO REOCCURRENCE. Every bump or lump I panic. Still see Onc every six months. Lately I’ve had muscle like spasms on my cancer side in my armpit. Dr Google says it could be strained muscle, etc, or BC! Anyone else experience this in armpit? It’s usually when I’m active, cleaning, or up and moving. I see my Onc in August and will certainly mention it, but was curious if anyone else has experienced this.
Thanks in advance,
Heather
PS do you ever get over the panic
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Heather, welcome to this thread. You have asked a question regarding do you ever get over the panic and fear or recurrence. You are still fairly new on your cancer journey and you have a had a lot of surgeries over that time and dealing with lymphedema as well. All of those things will remind you that you have had BC. I am going to answer only from what I have observed from being on BCO for over 8 years. I think some go on with their lives after their treatments as if it was only a hiccup and don't look back. Some are fearful. I think it is normal for us to interpret every pain or lump or bump as something that could possibly be a cancer warning. Your OCD may be coming into play which makes things difficult I would imagine. Your user name has a great verse on fear. I would cling to that verse and say it out loud every day. I am guessing that your faith is something very important to you. I have a strong faith but I did have a scare about four years ago and the stress of that sent me into a crisis. I ended up seeing a social worker that worked in my cancer clinic and she only saw cancer patients and it was a free service. She was a Christian which I didn't know initially. That was very helpful to me and I did see her for quite a long time. I was dealing with some other big stressors at the time and it all came together as one perfect storm. This whole thing took me by surprise and for me the fear or recurrence hit me like a brick wall. I had a biopsy and it was sure feeling like deja vu. Before that time I was moving forward with my life and it would only be a couple of days before my mammogram that I would get nervous. As far as the armpit sensation you are having I have not experienced that before but I have had knots appear in my armpit and at that time my muscle therapist would say it is probably only swollen lymph nodes. That was before my BC and cancer was not on my radar at that time. If you have someone to talk to about your fears that might be very helpful whether it be a professional or a church counselor or a trusted friend or family member. I do know there are ladies that have been on this forum that have suffered from a lot of fear and anxiety. You are certainly not alone in that regard. My suggestion would be to send a message to your oncologist regarding your concern about your armpit area and see if he/she could give you some advice and if it would be okay to wait until your apt in August.
I hope some of our sisters on here will weigh in to your questions. It is always good to get different perspectives. Each of us has our own unique experiences in our BC journeys.
This forum is a great support and encouragement and a good place to get prayer. I will definitely be praying for you.
Love,
Nancy
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Heather, welcome to our little group.
Nancy has offered a very helpful and thoughtful post. I was diagnosed with lymphedema in 2018 and occasionally get odd sensations on my left side that feel like fullness/stiffness in my wrist, elbow, or armpit. Messaging your MO now puts your concern on his/her radar. A message to your lymphedema specialist may be helpful as well.
I will be praying for you and your upcoming appointment.
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In my devotions today this scripture jumped out at me. I thought many of us need to cling to this even though this is a Scripture that we don't relish living through. It is 2 Cor. 12:9 in case they resize to where you can't read the verse.
Chris, I am praying for you for peace as you wait for results of your scans today.
Hershey, how is your shoulder doing? How is your Mom. I pray for her often and think of the residents enjoying their community garden which hopefully is doing well now.
GB How are you doing?
Carol, how are things going for you?
Wheatfields, how is your stomach doing?
Jean. how is your LE therapy going?
Teka, I hope you knee is continuing to cooperate so no more Flamingo poses
Heather, we are praying for you.
Praying for a good night for all.
Love,
Nancy
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My lymphedema therapy is going well. Thanks for asking Nancy. Welcome Heather. For me the anxiety about a relapse has never completely gone away but it is something I don't often think about. I was initially scared when diagnosed with lymphedema a few months ago but I have now accepted that the treatment for it is manageable. I like have to keep reminding myself that it's not cancer. Staying positive has really helped me. Jean
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Heather, welcome and we will be praying for you. You have chosen one of my favorite verses in your user name. Both Hershey and Nancy have posted helpful ideas.
Nancy I'm glad you are feeling better, I am impressed with your learning to do repair tasks online and watching tutorials. Also, I like your devotional verse for it is one I always think of when I begin to despair about my hearing loss. My stomach is about the same, a burning sensation a lot of the time. But I have a good report on blood tests, stool test, and gallbladder test. That is where what the doctor called "starting simple" stops. Now he suggests an upper and lower scope. It's been a while since I've gone all around on this issue, so maybe it would be wise to check it out.
Chris, praying that your scans have turned out well today.
Hershey, I'm praying for your shoulder and for your Mom.
GB I hope you are enjoying your birds and work is going better.
Praying for all of you that you have a weekend full of blessings!
Wheatfields
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Welcome Heather! I don't have OCD but I do get pretty
debilitating anxiety. It definitely makes the cancer harder to deal with. I think a normal coping mechanism is to not expect the worst, but when you've literally had the bad things happen over and over again, that no longer works for coping. I have my yearly MRI on the 26th, a year after my recurrence. I can no longer go into these anticipating all will be fine. I have to go into it with, as Nancy mentioned, 2 Cor 12:9.Nancy, that's pretty much my life verse. 2 Cor is such a rich book. The part about where the spirit of the Lord is, there's freedom. I'm going through the Breaking Free study (on my own), and I recently had a life changing realization thanks to Beth...my truth + God's truth = freedom. It's a formula that I've been able to actually apply while worrying about things that's really helped. Moment by moment of course.
MRI coming up. Better be ok! Work is ok. I'm dealing with orthodontia issues, which for some reason always turns into a drama. I needed new retainers (my teeth are quite happy to be mobile almost several decades after braces). It's been a time trying to get them right (multiple remakes). I just wore my new set last night and I think they need to trim it off my gums a little more. I worry about osteonecrosis with gum pressure because of the Zometa. But it's hard to tell if the retainers are ok until I wear them overnight. I only wear them every other night, alternating with a night guard, so I will wear them again Sunday night and see how it feels.
We had baby blues hatch and fly away! We got to see one fledge (and hop awkwardly into a bush), but missed the others. One egg didn't hatch, but the rest of them survived the heat waves we had!!! These blues don't tap on the window like the previous family did, but it was still a joy to have them here!
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Good morning, dear ladies. I've been more a lurker but I'll try to catch up with everyone's posts now.
Nancy, thank you for that reminder. I love that verse. I was reading a blog post by a Christian woman who was writing about envy. As I read it, the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" came to my mind – especially the part that goes, "All I have needed Thy hand hast provided." Isn't that wonderful? It gives me such peace.
Zjrosenthal, I'm glad your lymphedema therapy is going well.
Wheatfields, I'm glad to hear your bloodwork results were good. I haven't had GI scopes. Do they put you out? I think I'd be a bit anxious about that (not the "putting out" part.)
Gb, I hope your orthodontia issues can be resolved.
Welcome, Heather!
My apologies to anyone I didn't mention. Insomnia is contributing to my loopy-ness (as if I needed any help with that!)
Carol
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Carol, I am singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" right now as I read the results from my latest scan. The results show no cancer activity anywhere including my liver, esophagus, stomach, spine, femur, etc., that all had activity in my precious scans. After six years of Stage IV treatment I can now say I NEAD, No Evidence of Active Disease. I have not spoken with my oncologist yet so I might have missed something, but I don't think so. God is so good! I feel lousy and have no energy and some pain, but if this is my trade-off for this new medicine I will accept it. I will let you know if the doctor says something different.
I am thankful Jean and Wheatfields that your treatment is going well.
Nancy I continue to pray for your complete healing from Covid, and I also keep gb and others in my daily prayers. Heather, welcome to this amazing group of ladies. I am praying for your peace of mind.
Praise God. Love, Chris
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Jean, I am glad you have come to the acceptance of your LE and realizing it is doable and not cancer. That is a great place to be.
Hershey, thank you for giving Heather some good advice. I hope she has found this thread again. I remember when I first found it when I tried to find it again it wasn't so easy.
Wheatfields, it really is important to get those scopes. I have had GI issues for years and when I changed to a new gastroenterologist years ago he immediately wanted both scopes done. I was not thrilled BUT if I hadn't got them it could have been bad news down the line. They discovered a precancerous polyp in my colon and polyps in my stomach which I think is unusual. They do a twilight kind of sedation where you won't remember any of it when it is done. I was able to have both done at the same time which makes it much more convenient as you have to have a driver for these procedures. If they find polyps in the colon they simply remove them while you are in your twilight sleep.
Carol, we should compare notes on the insomnia. I may try a new cocktail of supplements starting tonight. I have found that my system sort of gets used to certain meds and then becomes ineffective. So we'll see. Looking forward to your next blog post. I volunteered at an assisted living facility for 8 yrs and the last few years of that my ministry partner and I were on the "lockdown" floor with dementia patients. We would have a time of singing the old hymns. I would get so teary eyed and emotional that I had to stop singing. Some of the residents who who hardly spoke would sing and light up still remembering the old hymns. Great Is Thy Faithfulness is such a great reminder of the goodness of God. Thanks for sharing that.
GB. I am glad to hear work is going okay. Your orthodontics hopefully will be a good thing once they can get them adjusted. As someone who never had braces but now probably need them (not happening though at my age) I don't have a lot of experience with that other than my night guard I wear at night for TMJ but hopefully the discomfort of them will pay off in the end. Your bluebirds sound wonderful. I am watching two baby bunnies on my patio. One came right up to my patio door looking inside. It would have been a beautiful cute pic but I was too tired to get up and take one. I ordered some things to create a hummingbird fountain. I can't wait for the the last of the set up to come on Friday.
Chris. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to say I can't believe it because I have prayed for this for years for you and still pray for that. Wow and wow and wow are my words for the moment. Now my prayer is that your body will adjust to the new med so you won't have so many side effects. That must be one powerful med that God has led the oncologist to use for you. I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now. I am SO happy for you. That just made my day!!!!!
Thank you for all for welcoming Heather. I do hope she will post again and let us know how she is doing.
Thank you for your prayers for me in my Covid recuperation. I am doing much, much better but I am still having some fatigue. I FINALLY got my master bathroom completely clean. Just finished cleaning the tub this afternoon. That felt like climbing Mt Everest just a week or so ago even thinking about doing that. I did resume my walking on Saturday and had planned on going to church yesterday but had another night of insomnia so stayed home and was pretty tired the whole day. Today feeling much better.
Have a great week dear sisters. It is always so uplifting to hear some great news.
Love,
Nancy
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Chris I am so happy for you, and yes indeed you made my day too with the good news on your scans! Now I'm praying that your body adjusts to the new meds and you feel better each day! Praise the Lord and Great is His Faithfulness!
Carol also praying for you to get the rest you need, and yes if you ever need a GI they do put you under like Nancy said, in a twilight zone, or sleep.
Nancy, continuing in prayer for your complete recovery and for any GI issues and also insomnia. Thank you for sharing your experience on the GI issues. I've been to this gastroenterologist before and it was recommended that I have a scope every 10 years, but since it's been 8 since the last one he thought it a good idea. So unlike most people, I would drink the stuff for anyone, if they could do the IV for me. I have an upper and lower one scheduled for September 14.
Praying too for Hershey, Jean and GB (I saw a red bird this morning and thought of you) It wasn't a cardinal but it sure looked red.
Love, Wheatfields
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Chris, that is such amazing news! I'll be singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" all day today!
Nancy, I actually had a decent night's sleep last night. Will try to replicate yesterday's schedule to see if it works again. Congratulations on getting your master bathroom cleaned. I get it – that's a big deal. I'm sorry you didn't make it to church.
Love and prayers to all,
Carol
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Chris, I am so happy for you! God is good, indeed!
Nancy, I'm glad that you are feeling better. Cleaning the bathtub is my least favorite housework job, so kudos to you for tackling it while still recovering from COVID.
Wheatfields, I will pray for successful upper and lower endoscopies on September 14. I too am a "hard stick" and will especially pray for a painless and easy IV placement.
My mother has been diagnosed with COVID. Again! Everyone from her assisted living facility attended a luncheon at a local restaurant that turned out to be a super spreader event. Other than feeling tired, my mother seems to be doing well. She should have super immunity by now: she's fully vaccinated, boosted, and twice recovered from COVID!
Blessings on everyone's day.
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Hershey, I am really sorry to hear your Mom has Covid again. My neighbor just told me that she had Covid at the same time I did and she just had it at Easter time too. I sure hope your Mom has a very mild case of it. Since getting this I have read every article I can on the Omicron BA 5 variant that is the dominant one that has overtaken the country now. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to offer much immunity and is know for reinfection. It also has a great ability to evade the vaccines and boosters so it is problematic in that regard. There is supposed to be a new booster coming out in the fall which will have protection for Omicron.
Wheatfields, I didn't realize you had experience with the scopes already. I hope the IV goes well and that you don't stress out too much since it is several weeks away. I am like Hershey and my veins are really challenging. I have a brain MRI coming in a few weeks and will be dealing with that again. I do hope you can get relief from this burning feeling in your stomach.
Carol, I am glad you had a good night's sleep. Last night I had a new version where I got to sleep okay but woke up very early and couldn't get back to sleep so I just got up for a while and then went back to bed.
Thank you all for your prayers. I have been walking and I am doing much, much better. I can't say if I am a 100% yet but my fatigue has not hit me today so maybe it won't. At any rate I am so grateful to be getting my life back.
Have a good night everyone.
Love,
Nancy
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Waiting for an insurance determination on the breast MRI I'm supposed to have next week. The hospital called yesterday and warned me that my insurance company has started denying hospital MRIs recently and instead favoring freestanding facilities. They were going to reach out and tell them my reasons for picking the hospital (terrible IV stick--need access to the vein ninjas and their little vein scanner, and need a MRI table with the hole so I can look straight down and not have to twist my neck for an hour since I already have neck pain, and needing the bigger machine because of claustrophobia). My insurance case manager told me today that the auth is now in physician review. She's supposed to call me again today to update.
I guess if it's denied I discuss with the surgeon at my appointment next week and see if she'll call them and do a peer to peer or something. I hate delaying the scan, but that freestanding center is someplace I'd rather not go back to.
I hope it will just work out....
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Well, it was denied. I have a call out to the doctor's office. I'm so upset. They said it's not necessary to have it done at the hospital and I disagree.
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GB, I hope you can get some satisfaction if one of your medical team reaches out for you. Dealing with insurance issues can be so frustrating and upsetting. Praying things resolve in a way you will be comfortable with.
Teka, welcome back. I hope you are enjoying your summer and your knee is continuing to do well. Yes, I think I can say I am almost back to myself. I know Covid can be very insidious and so I am waiting for several days in a row of feeling good before thinking I am fine. Do you get any of this really hot weather? Glad to see you back.
Have a great weekend everyone. When I tested positive for Covid on June 21 it was my five week hair apt that same day. Needless to say that got canceled. Today I finally get to have my hair apt. With this hot and humid weather by the end of the day after working in my flowers my hair looks like a wild women!!!!! I will be so glad to get it cut this afternoon. All of my pieces were shipped for my hummingbird birdbath. I can't wait to see how it works. I will have to send a pic once I get it up and running.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy, nothing is resolved yet. The MRI was denied unless I go to a freestanding facility. The doctors office was supposed to call on Friday, but I never heard anything. My doc is on vacation, so someone else was going to call. They sounded annoyed when I talked with them on the phone though.
The MRI is scheduled for tomorrow, so I need to make a decision today about how long I give this before I cancel that appointment. I will see my doc on Wednesday so we can discuss then. I'm not thrilled that insurance could cause an imaging delay here. They shouldn't get to do that. It could be a couple of months delay because of how appointments book up. I'm actually considering filing a grievance because there was no indication that they even have policies like this anywhere in the plan documents. You think in-network is safe so you schedule your appointment. And then, nope. They need to be more transparent with plan members, because I would have been all over this ahead of time.
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What's particularly frustrating is that they're spinning this like their decision will save ME money. I have the same co-pay no matter which facility I go to. I just feel that this needs to be in the plan documents somewhere so people aren't blindsided by it at the last minute. I also see that they are possibly balking at the endoscopy I'm supposed to have next week, but I can't deal with that right now....
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gb, I am so sorry you are going through all this nonsense with insurance. You are right, they shouldn't be allowed to do this. And noone files a grievance so they get away with it. I am praying for quick resolution for you.
It seems like one thing improves and another crops up. My gut feels somewhat better with less distress but now I have an aweful pain in my left back. It feels like I strained it but I don't know when or how. I have given it five days and am just starting to have some relief. It seems like we can't get a break. Have a good week everyone.
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GB, it's upsetting how much the insurance companies may determine care after our doctors prescribe a procedure or treatment. I hope your insurance company quickly approves your MRI at the hospital and not at the ambulatory imaging center.
Chris, it sounds like your back pain is improving. I hope it continues to get better.
For everyone in the midst of this excessive heat wave, I pray you find some cooling relief today.
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GB, in my huge network of doctors I think every single procedure has to be authorized ahead of time. They do that. I don't have to. I have a Medicare Advantage plan. I doubt that I could even get a breast MRI and I believe it is because of the cost. I am sorry you are dealing with this. If you are going to cancel I wouldn't wait too long because they may end up charging you for it anyway. I hope your doctor will be able to intervene in this when you see him/her. I remember having to fight tooth and nail with insurance companies in the past. It is SO frustrating and time consuming but I have found that if you really believe you are in the right persistence does pay off. I have never filed a grievance but if you feel like pursuing that maybe you will get some action. I will pray that it will work in your favor.
Chris, I hope your back pain will just disappear. I will pray for that to happen.
Hershey, I am praying for your Mom that she will recover quickly. Unfortunately I am still dealing with fatigue. This weekend I was just tired the whole weekend but our weather could be part of that . We got 5.13 inches of rain in two days. We are actually getting relief from the heat this week but I know so many parts of the country are not. How is your shoulder doing now that PT is over?
Teka, how is your knee doing? Is the heat wave affecting your area so far north?
I got my hummingbird fountain all up and running. I recorded a video on my cellphone but I am not having much luck getting that on my computer to actually run as a video. I was going to post it here but I think I have to redo and figure out what I am doing wrong. I don't do videos so that is part of the problem!!!
Have a good week everyone.
Love,
Nancy
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It looks like they did a doc to doc and got authorization!!
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YEAH FOR GB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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GB, that's wonderful news!
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GB that's great! So glad it worked out and praying all results are good! Hershey also praying for you and your mom's quick recovery. And Chris, that the back pain would disappear. Praying for you all. Have a blessed week!
Wheatfields
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Got the MRI yesterday without issue. The girl was kind and when she heard of my IV woes, went right for a smaller needle. Went right in. Was fine for the rest in the larger machine. See the doc on Friday for results, though it occurred to me I might see it pop up in the portal earlier...dare I check? I think I'm mature enough in my two time cancer life that I can handle reading any shenanigans that might be there. But we'll see.
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gb, happy news that the MRI is done and prayers were answered. Now praying for good results.
Back pain is improving. I can't tell if extra fatigue is from meds or new puppy night woes. My daughter got a new puppy and we are night training the puppy when my daughter goes to work nights. Hopefully it won't take too long. I am getting too old for this!
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