Latissimus Dorsi Breast Reconstruction
Comments
-
Hi Momluke, today was better, but I'm just feeling a little discouraged, I really don't feel as good as I thought I would at this point. I'm feeling very hormonal and weepy. I stopped my tamoxifen two weeks before surgery and I've been told to restart it at any time, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. My husband took me out to dinner and they were playing Christmas music and goofy me starts to cry, because some of the songs were always played at band concerts and that made me think of my kids, who are all grown and on their own. My younger daughter moved out in May, so this is the first year without a child at home, although my son will be home at Christmas this year, he lives in Charleston, SC. Boy, I'm just a sad sack today. I really have to snap out of this.
I'm trying a heating pad on my back to see if that loosens it up a bit. I thought this surgery would be a little easier than the tram flap surgery I had in January, but I don't think so. I can't imagine having both sides done at the same time.
Remind me, when did you go back to work and what kind of work do you do?
0 -
Awww Cat...I'm so sorry about your emotional toils right now. Sounds like life and the lat dorsi are hitting you at the same time. I promise you, the lat dorsi part will get better. When my back gets really tight, I stand in a hot shower and do some stretching exercises at the same time.
My surgery was on Sept 6th and began phasing back to work part time on Oct 23rd and started full time on Nov 5th. I am an accountant. I have a very conservative PS so he wanted me to take as much time as possible. I probably could have gone back after 3-4 weeks.0 -
Momluke, I'm an accountant too. My PS said off work about four weeks but my breast surgeon's office filled out my FMLA and short term disability papers and they put me off until 1/7, saying if I felt I could go back earlier I could. I guess I will wait and see.
0 -
It did help to phaseback...I was part time for about 2 weeks. Getting used to sitting up in the chair at the computer for long periods of time was a little challenging. I was quite anxious to go back, though! Being home was driving me crazy.
My PS office padded my FMLA papers too. That might be a regular practice.
Listen to your body and let your dr know when you feel like you might be ready to go back.0 -
Cat24~ It's ok to be feeling the way you are, believe me I've cried in the shower many times and no one knows!!! lol we are emotional, WE ARE WOMAN!!! LOL i was off my tamoxifen also for 2wks and now i've started something else. We are doing all these extreme things to our bodies, so anything is understandable. You will feel better soon, and please don't think of all those things that u need 2 do around the house. U have to put your blinders on for a while. It's more important 4 you to take care of yourself and NOT OVERDO IT!!! Having yourself not "normal" around the Holiday's is trying. I want to bake away & get the Christmas stuff out of the attic and get it done, but that IS NOT GOING 2 HAPPEN. I must depend on my girls & my husband and their time is definately not my time!!! LOL I'm thinking of you and want u to stop and take a deep breath and just relax, we will conquer this, we will look back on this and say... i remember when i felt so shitty and depressed and i am sure glad that is over now!!!
0 -
I just wanted to chime in tonight and tell you all that I hope your recoveries are going well and getting easier every day. I had my BMX and bilateral lat flaps done in March. I took 4 weeks off work, worked from home for a week and then went into the office after that, but left a couple of hours early every day for a week or two. I was tired. I had my drains for a little over 5 weeks, and I feel like that slowed me down quite a bit. But, around week 6, I really noticed a huge difference and started feeling more like my old self. I didn't have a ton of pain, but the stiffness in my back was annoying and made me uncomfortable. I had my exchange in October and can honestly say that I feel totally normal. I have a little tenderness at the bottom of my back scars, but everything looks and feels good and I'm so glad I went this route.
So, hang in there. It's definitely major surgery and your body is working hard to recover. You'll be feeling better in no time!0 -
Thanks for the encouragement everyone, it means a lot to have others who know what you are going through, because not everyone understands.
0 -
That's so true Cat! That's why I am so grateful for this site. It means a lot to talk to others who are on the same road with you!
0 -
Hugs, Cat24! Sorry you are having a hard time. I had my lat flaps done in 2 separate surgeries & took two weeks off from work each time. I am an assistant store manager in a retail store. It gets better! Hang in there.
0 -
@Karen: my incision is about 7 inches(guessing since I haven't actually measured). And responding to others...I am 4 weeks out, drains out (yeah!!) and I still have tightness, numbness and sometimes what has been described as a Charlie horse in my back. I ve been walking since the beginning and the dr finally released me to work out. I still don't have full ROM but i'm getting there. I still sleep in a recliner. I had TE's by themselves and now with this lat flap on my left and they are no less uncomfortable. I got my first fill last week and it wasn't bad but it was only 30cc's. The fills were very painful for me ( not the fill itself...it is numb where the needle goes in and just feels pressure) last time around. I think the first ones tend not to be but as it gets tighter the pain increases. I will try 50cc's next two week fill.
@cat: thinking of you and hoping you are having some better days :-)0 -
Wow, I am a real lazy butt today - I slept until almost 11. Finding it's kind of hard to actually get out of bed. My surgery was on the left and that's my side of the bed so it was kind of hard to get my legs swung around to get up. At my Mom and Dad's everything was set up for me on the right side, which was much easier.
So does the size of your incision depend on how big you are? I am tall and size 16-18 and my incision is over a foot long.
0 -
I was 3 weeks post LD Surgery this past Wednesday. Had my first fill that day, wasn't to bad. Left flap side was still numb but I could sure feel the right side but was no worse than accessing your port during chemo. I had a mini meltdown yesterday morning, told hubby I just wanted to feel real again. Everything is numb or tight and just feels foreign right now. Just have to keep on keeping on.
I went back to work full time the third week, I found that my back gets really sore very easily. I think a lot of it is from the tightness and soreness in my chest that pulls my shoulders forward. Really trying to concentrate on some light stretching to help alleviate that.0 -
cat24 and others that are just out of surgery. Hang in there! I had mine last October. So I was pretty much drain free and back to work by this time. However, it was hard. This surgery really does take time to get used to. Not only your body healing but the BC factor, and the effect of surgery and pain medicine. All of it can make you feel very up and down in your emotions.
I was off work until around Thanksgiving and then worked from home and went back part time at first. It does help to ease back into it if you can. It can be hard just getting up early, taking a shower, getting dressed and driving to work. All things you haven't had to do in weeks. Take it easy and don't rush it. I too have had to adjust to time sitting at desk/computer at work. Even a year later I notice a difference and have force myself to get up and stretch and wander around a bit.
I feel I'm lucky. A year later and I can exercise same as before. I feel it sometimes when I do things like mop the floor or vaccuum, so I try to avoid them. Ha Ha! But overall I am lucky that I basically can do all I did before. Does it feel different on my lat side? Yes. But not so much that I'm in pain. I think that if you do feel stiffness/pain then ask the dr about PT.
Anyway, I wanted to try to help everyone new to this recovery to feel that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better.
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
0 -
Thanks jwilco...it's nice to hear from somebody who has been all the way through but still remembers. It has been very difficult to get up in the mornings and shower and get to work, lol. But setting home is very depressing for me.
0 -
hwhranch - I thought being home was depressing too. I loved just going to the store to get out of the house and away from the tv. Once you can get back into your normal routine you will feel better.
Even though it's been a year since my surgery I still come to this site for advice and to share my story. Plus after revisions, my most recent in August, it's been a year since the original surgery but only a few months since the last one. I did get my nipple tattoo on Friday. That has made a huge difference since I'm a UMX. I'm finally starting to feel like I can put some of this BC crap behind me.
0 -
Let's talk nipples....I don't think I want an actual protruding nipple, that defeats the purpose of being able to go braless. Can they just tattoo the whole thing or do you have to have the little "nub" put there for the nipple.
0 -
I agree with you hwhranch, I am pretty sure you can have the tattoo only if you want. I am interested in having fat grafted from a tummy tuck to create the nipple if that is possible, two birds with one stone
but I think I would rather go braless for good.0 -
I have felt depressed since I came home. Maybe at my Mom and Dad's I felt like I was on vacation. Well not quite on vacation, people don't go on vacation with giant incisions lol. Maybe since this is the second time to go through this in 2012, this is wearing me down. I had recovered from the January Tram flap and had the rest of my reconstruction scheduled for November 20, but instead felt like I was starting over with this surgery on the 15th. So, I guess the plan is now wait for swelling to go down a little to see if I need any additional fills other than what I got in surgery. Then, have the exchange surgery with the permanent implant in a few months. Then, finally nipple reconstruction, revision of the edges of my abdominal incision from the tram, revision of the lat scar if necessary and a little lipo here and there. It seems so far away, but maybe one day I will actually be done with this.
I think I am planning to have a tattoo of some sort on my back scar when everything is healed.
0 -
My nipple was one they do with the actual skin from the lat section. Since I had skin sparring UMX with the lat, my lat scar on my UMX is round. So he did some sort of origami type incision that creates a raised section that looks like a nipple. When it was first done it was large, but it went down. You can see an slight raised section but it's not stiff like a real nipple. The tattoo was done by a permanent makeup artist that works with the PS on BC patients. She did a good job in matching the color to my real nipple and with the coloring it does give the illusion that there is more projection. At first I was concerned when my nipple recon flattened out. I emailed the PS and he mentioned a plug they can use. Well, at my tattoo appt last Friday I asked her if she had seen any and she said it's still a new procedure and she has seen three. One sort of looked like it was starting to point to the side. She said not to bother or at least wait until the procedure has been done more.
I do hate it that if I wear a thin bra my real side is sticking out and not the other. But...I usually wear a lined bra because I didn't like my nipples to stick out before BC. Yes, you can get the tattoo and no nipple at all. Looks very real. I think it depends on what you want.
That's my take on the nipple subject.
cat24 - It will get better. Just take each surgery one step at a time. Heal from this one and then wait a few months before you decide what needs to be done at the next one. I had four surgeries last year...Sentinal node in Sept, UMX/Lat in Oct. Then revision and implant swap on Lat side and lift implant swap on right (I had implants before all this) and also fat grafting & lipo, all in March. Final was in August for some more skin/revision, fat grafting/lipo and the nipple. It's a lot! If I had thought about any of this too much all at once it probably would have stressed me out. So, one thing at a time and pretty soon it will be finished.
0 -
Forgot to add that the last year was also an emotional roller coaster. Feeling down, worried, scared, happy, sad...you name it. This was no cake walk so I completely understand when you are feeling like crap. I drove my husband nuts with the worrying and pondering of every decision.
0 -
I am also on an emotional reller coaster, you name it, I feel it all in one day.
Has anyone had to sneeze? I thought I was going to burst, scary..
0 -
It is amazing how much this BC can disrupt our very being. There are days that you feel incredible about having beat this little bugger. Yet, there are days you feel like you can't get your emotions to stay stable enough to function. It all takes a huge toil on us.
But the bright side is hearing the story of jwilco. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. There will be some stability in our lives again. There will be a day when we can encourage someone else with our own story of emotional roller coasters and physical dismay.
We will get to the other side of this!0 -
Thanks Momluke. If you only knew what a worry wart I am. But yes, we will get through this. After this last year I've decided to make some real changes in how my mind worries over things I can't control. I took a mindful meditation class and will be trying yoga soon. Another positive change, I'm switching oncoligysts. I never really "clicked" with the one I was assigned and my husband didn't like him at all. So, I'm going to see a new one recommended by my Gyno (she had BC last year too.) I figure since I have to see one for the next five years of tamoxifen I may as well get one I can talk to.
No more just taking things I don't like. That is another change.
0 -
I kept my nipples, but they're kind of uneven now as they were cut and moved around a few times. I think I'm more critical than anyone else would be, though.
I have a friend that had nipples tattooed on...the center is darker and looks 3D...at first glance, you'd never know that there wasn't an actual protrusion there. So, that route can look really amazing!0 -
I have a question, do the tissue expanders change in appearance prior to the fill? My left side looks different, like it has dropped a bit and looks bigger today. Is that possible?
0 -
I get my nipple tattoo this Thursday! So excited to finally be winding this down. This year has flown by. Seems like it was yesterday that I came home from the hospital with 6 drains and was in such pain that I wished I had never had the LD flap done. Just like childbirth, doesn't take no time to forget how painful it was and I would do it all over again in a split second.
)0 -
Congrats on getting closer to the final stage with your nipple tattoo. It was really interesting and best part...it didn't hurt!
0 -
I have an appt with my PS on the 10th to set up some additional revisions. There is a small area at the top of my foob that is raised above the scar. My PS said that area can be liposuctioned to make it flush with the scar. We will also set up my fipple reconstruction. The area from my back on my foob is the shape of a football. I am hoping the fipple will make it the entire foob look better. He wants to create the fipple, then wait a while for it to fully heal then get the tatoo. My healthy breast has a pretty prominent nipple so have a little more balance between the two will make me feel better.
0 -
I had my nipples done. At first I was like holy crap, I will never be able to go braless!!! But then now they have gone down considerably and I can go braless, although I don't do that often. I am having the tattoos done on Thursday of this coming week. I am glad that I did this, debated for awhile, but it makes me feel like at least the foobs are semi normal.
I had my port taken out this past Thursday, and that was exciting. The breast surgeon told me I graduated!! LOL. I am winding down now, and as exciting as all that is, I have that typical fear of "now what?" Now I have to wait 3 months for oncologist appt. For the blood work. For the assurance that yes, it is all still good. It's the sit and wait and hope period. I keep a positive attitude, know I did all I could, but still. Its the scariest time, just waiting........
0 -
Awesome updated on the nipples...I had the modified radical on my left so no nipple there, and then had skin saving only on the right so no nipple there. I will have virgin land to tatoo my nipples on, lol. I guess what is hard is that I was diagnosed with BC in Feb 2011 and went into chemo right off the bat...no surgery till chemo was done and the tumor was shrank enough to remove. Then you've got all that radiation, so that was 2011. 2012 has been a waiting period...couldn't reconstruct till 6 months after radiation and then I couldn't get in till September...then my company switched insurance carriers so I had to wait another 2 months for coverage.....I will be at my 3rd year post diagnoses when I am finished next year. It seems like forever.
0
