Calling all TNs
Comments
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I am so glad everyone is feeling positive! I don't want to break the cycle but I need to vent! Work is getting so hard for me, the chemo is really starting to wear on me. I went to work today and told my boss that my bmx is scheduled for Nov 30 and the doctor said I needed to be off for 4-6 weeks. She looked at me and said "well, you should talk to so and so, she can tell you what it was like and how much time you really need off" I said, well my doctor said I will have drains in for 3 weeks and with this type of job (I am a hair colorist) I should expect to be out no less than 4 weeks and it really should be 6 weeks since I work on my feet and use my arms alot. Trust me, I was trying to get him to say 2 weeks! I can't afford to be off for 6 weeks. Then she asked me if I was getting my new boobs on that day and I said no, I can't have immediate reconstruction and she had a look of horror on her face. Now I know I have given her all this info before, does anybody really listen?! Also, our friend she was talking about had an single mast. no chemo and no radiation and she wants me to ask her how long I need to take off instead of my doctor? I am just so mad!!! So then later I asked my boss if after 3 weeks if I could come in and help with phone calls, emails, just basically hosting to help the receptionist for a couple hours, as they get really overwhelmed and busy during the holidays. She said, "no, that is the receptionist job!" without any thought to it at all. The receptionist always say they need help as it does get very busy, and I thought I could help out and make a few bucks to survive. They don't pay any type of sick leave or vacation pay and no benefits what so ever and she is not willing to help me out by having me work a few hours. Oh well, it is probably better for my health to take the full 6 weeks off! I just need to cut the strings with this place, as it has been nothing but a big frustration since I have gotton sick!
Thank you for letting me vent, I almost deleted this post because just typing it out makes me feel so much better!
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Getting nervous about my first infusion of TAC....on Tues. I hate the unknown....suggestions on how to prepare for this event.
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Maya - just had my last TAC on Tuesday. The only thing I can say is look at the threads that tell you what kind of things to do for side effects. I pretty much went out and bought everything and didnt use a lot of it but felt better knowing it was there if needed. Keep up on your anti nauseous meds and get lots of rest! It's going to go faster than you think! Good luck.
Bak- so sorry your having such work issues. I wish there was something that I could say to help but I definitely admire you. It's a hard job and I'm impressed your working thru treatment.
Ladies, are any of you having severe hot flashes? Any suggestions? This is terrible my poor hubby is freezing and I just want to crawl into the freezer!0 -
Thanks McCrimmon...congrats on finishing it up! I know I will be more at ease once I get this first one out of the way.
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maya,bring a big cup of crushed ice to suck on,helps prevent mouth sores and water. next time i'm going to stop at sonic and get a big limeade slush, their ice is the right consistancy sp?
bak, vent away we all do, it's what keeps us sane being able to vent here! of course,there are some who know me that might say i'm crazy,but i'm saner than them lol. big hug to you !
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bak: I went through the same thing at my former job: All the men telling me it wasn't a big deal-yeah, right. So sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I didn't have insurance or benefits either but in California they pay for your medical if you are a woman with BC or OC. Maybe you could check and see if you are eleigible for disability benefits in your state? I was eligible for 1 year and it got me through the chemo and surgeries. Hugs!
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Thanks Belleast! Great idea!
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BAk: so sorry to hear about your job. Really is aweful when employers can't seem to care about anything but the dollar sign. It is hard to get disability with breast cancer if it isn't stage IV but if you lose your job over it, they do seem to concider approving it for a year. It certainly wouldn't hurt to talk to them. Either way, (((hugs))) and I wish you weren't having this added stress.
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bak - Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time at work. It is hard talking with people who 'have a friend who ....' and knowing as you listen that their friend was a very different case. Are there any local support groups who could provide some advice? Or perhaps there are some groups that have labor attorneys who could advise you on what type of accommodations your workplace must make, just so you know what you have the right to ask for. I hope somehow you manage to get the message across.
Titan - All the best wishes for happiness in your family.
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Thanks all for the support. Even after typing the post I felt better just to get out my frustrations. I am waiting for an answer with ssdi, I haven't been able to work much so my income falls within accceptable limits. I do get health insurance through my husbands work, so I feel very fortunate for that. Missing my second income has been hard on us but we have cut way back and have given up many things in order to survive. If I get approved for ssdi I will quit work completely, I still have surgery, radiation and a hysterectomy ahead of me. How do you all deal with the finances of all this? We are managing, but are one paycheck away from disaster. If something unexpected comes up there is nothing we can do, we already blew through our savings. You see, we have been throuigh all this before and can't seem to catch up. This is my second diagnoses and my hubby has been injured 2 times, all this within an 9 year period. I think the finances stress me out as much as the cancer, and that is not good. I don't know how we will get though a month without any income from me.
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bak94, thinking of you. My hubby lost his job here just after i had surgery. He's now back working in the oil business - 4 on 4 off but won't get paid until the end of october. Then my boss was being a pig so i just finally gave up and walked. When i spoke to the nurses at the hospital, the put me onto a social worker and she has done everything to help me out. Get all the help you can, it really helped me knowing i had someone to fight my corner.
paintingmyway thru. I still have a runny nose and bunged up head. Now i have a stye on my eye.
Hi to all, i get confused as to what's going on with everyone, hope you are all having a good weekend
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PAINTINGMYWAY, my nose dripped, bled and was stuffy for longer than you want to know. I attributed my nose problems to Avastin because I took that in my clinical trial and it's known to cause nose issues. It could have been some of the other chemotherapy though. Also, you know we can develop allergies at any time in our lives. Happy blowing.
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Bak94:
Check out this link I have attached for you. I have not had to use it yet personally, but put it away in a "saved" file - just in case! Make the call - it's free to you - and I have heard good things about this Cancer Legal Resource Center for cancer patients. They might be able to help - I sure hope so - you don't deserve or need to be treated this way, or have this extra stress piled upon your shoulders. Good luck, dear sister - we are all here for you.
Love,
Linda
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Thanks all/ Linda I will check out the link! Teka, a food bank is a good idea, funny thing is we spend more money to feed our animals than ourselves and have thought of trying to find homes for all of them to save money but we just can't bring ourselves to do it, they are our family. We do get eggs from the chickens! I feel funny going to a food bank when there are so many that have less than us. We do struggle, but it is to pay our mortgage, a car payment and such. Others don't have that. I am thankful for what I have, and some at my work have been wonderful, helping me out, others not so much. Yesterday was just one of those really bad days and maybe my boss was going through some of her own stuff or is just a little dense when it comes to cancer. She had cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy, they left her ovaries, and was back to work in 2 weeks, so I think she thinks that is the same for everyone, but not everyone is super woman like her. Oh, I think I was on my decadron crash day also! I was a mess!
And yes, bloody,runny nose, runny eyes all through abraxane, plus avastin. 4 more to go!!!!!!
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We have just done like you Bak and cut back on everything. We still make too much for the food bank, but just barely. Since I'm not working, I have also spent a lot of my awake time focusing on sales flyers and coupons...cut out about $30 a week. At this point that's one of the doctor co-pays so it helps some. The social worker at our local cancer center has been a great help to me too.
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McCrimmon- I am over 9 months PFC and still have awful hot flashes and night sweats. My OB/GYN prescribed Zoloft. He said it worked for about 1/3 of women taking it. A major side effect is weight gain, so I chose not to take it. I deal with them during the day and keep a fan pointed at my body at night. If you find something that works, please let me know!!
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Bak94 - I often feel like the worrying about money, trumps my 2 cancer dx too. One thing I can tell you is that when someone offers to help, swallow your pride and accept it. While you are in rads, take up offers of rides, someone wants to know what to do to help, ask if they can make dinner once a week. Every little savings helps. Bartering can work well too. Who knows, with this time on your hands, you may have reinvented yourself, by the time you're on the mend!
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Very nervous this morning. I am having a bone scan this afternoon. Several very tender spots on lower spine and ribs. Could use some encouragement from anyone that has had pain and the scan turned up nothing! Feeling sick to my stomach.
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TifJ, I had issues with lower back pain and my bone scan was all clear. It showed some arthritis which is probably what caused the back pain.
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TifJ, good luck with your scan..I haven't had one yet, but I'll be praying for good results.
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Thank you ladies. At 45 years old, I will be happy to hear- you "just" have arthritis!
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Lots of catching up to do.
Titan: Hope everything went well this weekend. I'm sure the wedding was stunning. Your new son-in-law sounds like a sweet guy. Looking forward to hearing the news - and maybe a photo or two?
TifJ: Sending positive vibes today on your scan... I know our first thoughts go to mets, but really, there are dozens of things that can cause that kind of pain... and way more plausible ones too, given your stats.
Babs: Congrats on the clear MRI - what a great feeling.
Bak94: What can I say? Some bosses, some workplaces suck. Just so sorry you have to deal with that on top of cancer.
Suze: Sending healing thoughts - hope your cough is better soon. The wigs sound awesome.
Sugar: How did the speech go? Man, the weather sucked this weekend for a run!
Hope everyone has a good start to their week.
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Luah- Thank you. I needed to hear that!
Good thoughts to all with impending scans and/or chemo!
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Hi TifJ, my hands and arms were so painful a few months after I had finished rads. I couldn't even lift my hands or type. My PetScan showed nothing out of the norms, there was no metastasis. But I went through hell in anticipation of the results. When the doc called to give me the results, I started yelling on the phone and before I could tell him to talk to someone else about it, he blurted it out, saying that everything was normal. Next time I visited him, he was very mean to me, suggested counseling and yelled at me, saying, due to my emotional status, he had ordered the petscan. He said he knew it was nothing. Also suggested that I consider double mastectomy, as I am a very anxious person. Imagine that? Who wouldn't be anxious, if you have to hear on the phone that your life is about to change for the worst and that there may be a possibility that you could even die from it. These doctors....... I tell you! I don't think they can really understand.
Have you tried massaging the areas? I have asked everyone this question before and am going to ask again, does anyone have sharp, tender pain every once in a while anywhere around their breasts, especially in the soft tissues on the sides or right under. It is almost as if some liquid or something collects there and then the pain starts. But massage several times for several days, makes it go away. What is that? TifJ - maybe that's what you have? Try massage, see if it makes it go away. Could it be diet related? Or could it be just the bi products of chemo? Am I the only one who suffers from all these things? Sometimes these days I feel that whatever I eat goes right there to my breasts. Never used to be like this before.
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I have been going back and reading posts, sorry was out of here for a while. Bak - I was shocked to hear the conversation you had with your employer, who was a "woman". How awful that she would say all this. Sounds a little bit like my situation, although my immediate boss who said to me "you will be out for how long?". He himself has had skin cancer 5 years ago and came to work every day, except on treatment days, is very proud of all that. He did not have chemo, lose his hair or had to have radiation on his breasts. Anyway, the boss above him, is a wonderful lady who supported me all the way, told the accounting department that my benefits should continue. I was lucky, I applied for SDI right way, right after I heard my diagnosis. SDI pays at least 70% of your income. I told my boss that I was going to try to work from home, had them give me one of those programs which connects my work PC to my home. It is frustratingly very slow, but I was able to work the other 30% from home. After finishing rads on 3/31, I stayed home another two months for healing, went to work full time June 1st, but then took a 3 weeks vacation. One needs a lot of time to heal physically, emotionally and in every other way. My Oncologist told me not to worry about missing work as "I deserve the time off". I still feel that I went to work too early, that I should have taken a month or two more for psychological healing. Apply for SDI, that is if your employer was paying SDI on your behalf, which is the law, so I am sure you should get those benefits. And they do it pretty fast, not too much waiting. It kicks in after 7 days of your sick leave or vacation.
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TifJ- thinking of you today. Try to relax although I know this will be impossible. Sending good vibes your way.
Titan- I just know the wedding was fabulous!!!
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Tif, thinking of you and hoping all turns out to be nothing. I think it is normal to have aches and pains, but now we just have them checked out to make sure.
Lovelyface, we don't have any short term or any type of disability benefits, or even sick pay. I did apply for federal social security disability, I applied in May and called a few weeks ago and they said I should have an answer by October 4, so that is tomorrow! I will call tomorrow if I don't have an answer yet. I really hope I am approved, as working the few hours that I have been working has been a real strain on me. I don't know how those of you do it that work full time, even if it is at a desk. I get exhausted just getting ready for work and am tired before I even start! I know they are hitting me hard with chemo and have upped my dose, so I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself, sometimes I think maybe I am a wimp, as others seem to be doing better than me with this crap. My doc continuously tells me how well I am doing and I just look at him like really? Typing is even getting hard for me and forget about opening packages!
Thank you to all for your support. I was so upset and you all helped me realize that some people will just never get it, or understand that each persons journey with cancer is different.
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My good moment of the day-Making a healthy smoothie for my hubby and I and he really liked it!
LauraJane and Suze- thinking of you both!
OBXK-I too have been getting much better at coupon shopping and bargain hunting! It actually feels really good to get a "good deal"!
Titan, can't wait to hear all about it! Hopefully no more falls!
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Bak94- I hope everything works out for you, and yes this journey is no fun at all. I am tired of co-pays, remeber following-up appt, and just tired of living in fear.
LJ and Suze- we are all behind you guys.
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bak94 - it is a hard fight. i am not good with keeping up with everyone but i am with all of you all of the way.
We have to be strong and support each other. This forum has helped me through
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