Calling all TNs
Comments
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I took miltivitamin and vitamin D (calcium too I think) and my onc had no problem with those. It's all pretty moderate, she said, no worries. The only food thing that gave me a scare was something I read on the Internet about grapefruit and taxol - but they checked it out at my cancer centre and said not to worry about that either. You can drive yourself crazy! In my experience, food sources are usually considered okay by docs, but double-check with your MO to put your mind at ease.
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HUGE panic attack today. The little hard spot along one of my incisions, which I had my oncologist check last week, seemed to me to be a big lump when I examined it today. It is the same shape as the tumour in my breast was, although smaller in size. I became convinced it was more cancer, despite my being in the midst of chemo, and I melted down. As in totally. As in snivelling, bright red, snotty, incoherent mess.
I called my breast surgeon, but couldn't get an appt for 2 more days. I called my oncologist in a state of utter panic; I could barely breath. I was told that it was almost surely scar tissue and they would definitely check it at my chemo treatment tomorrow, but I could come by right away if I wanted to. You know I flew over there at top speed.
Yup, it is just scar tissue in my oncologist's opinion. The same scar tissue he examined a few days ago. So what did I do when he told me that? I fell apart in his office. Started sobbing, and begging him to please tell me how to stay alive, and I don't want anyone else to raise my babies, and and and...
Omg, I have been cool as a cucumber at all my appointments thus far. I only freak out in private, generally in the middle of the night. But I sure lost it today. Sigh.
And I didn't cancel the appointment in 2 days with my surgeon. I figure it can't hurt to get another opinion.
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DesertMama- I noticed something similar on the scar line under my arm a few days ago and am trying to be rational and not to panic and am thinking it must surely be scar tissue or something, possibly aggravated by the chemo (I've done two of six FEC-T). I have an appointment for pre-chemo blood work tomorrow and will get it checked then.
I haven't posted here before, but I've been reading the comments regularly (stalking!) since being diagnosed in June. It's been a really helpful source of information and comfort during a difficult time. I'm 37 and I've now come to terms with the situation and see the treatments as a job to be done. Luckily the chemo so far has been manageable, even if not entirely pleasant. What I find most difficult at the moment though is thinking about the long-term, especially in relation to my two daughters (aged 8 and 12). I've always been a planner (and a bit of a control freak!), so coming to terms with the fact that, apart from a few lifestyle changes, there's nothing I can do to influence the future has been difficult. It really helps to hear long-term survivor stories and to know that there are many people who have gone through this and are still doing well after many years.
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Inmate - thinking of you and wondering how you're doing with the radiation. I know it's a tough road you're traveling and I am sending hugs, hope and love to you.
Bernie - LOL!
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DesertMoma I cried as I read your post I could see myself doing the same thing. No one can every prepare you for how emotional bc is, I believe it is worse then the chemo and last a lot longer.
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Karen - welcome!
Titan - well done you!!!
Desertmama - oh, Sweetie, my heart breaks for yours. Once those meltdowns start, it's hard to stop them. I hope your BS confirms it is just scar tissue. Try to remember the odds are in your favor. Do you have any meds to help you with stress? I take Ativan.
Don't feel bad about losing it at the doctors office - more of us should do it, so they'd have a better idea of the emotional toll, this disease has on us. Big hugs.0 -
Anyboday else dreading PINKTOBER??? The ads are starting again......sigh. It's not that I do not appreciate fundraising for awareness but I want a CURE, Dammit.
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Talked to my onco nurse today - of course they detailed a TOTAL list of medications/supplements that I take, and that is updated every visit - but I had to ask, and onco nurse said the only supplements they don't "allow" are those that are "natural" and hormone based . . . what I'm taking is fine. Huge sigh of relief.
I haven't had any major melt downs (YET) except the IV nightmare that was Round 2 - still have the scar on my hand from that day 4 WEEKS ago.
I have paid for 3 massages now for scar tissue - well worth the out-of-pocket expense. I also went to PT for exercises specifically for the range of motion and tightness in my chest from the BLX . . . haven't kept up with those exercises during chemo, though. Hopefully, I get back on track after Round 4 is done on 10/2.
Signing off now, worked the whole day - TIRED!!!
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Ditto NavyMom....
I'm getting out my F*CK AWARENESS FIND A CURE shirt very soon (and the "*" is *my* addition.... the word is spelled out on the shirt)
Anyway, I'm never in here anymore.... skim to the last page and read about once a month. Hope everyone is hanging in there best they can. I'm still keeping busy with boats, horses, animals, teaching at the nature center. Plus, I apparently did such a nice job organizing a regional 4 day carriage driving event that they want me to be the regional director. Off to Wisconsin end of month for the annual meeting. I'm pretty excited about it cause, though many of you know my lifestyle, I'm happy to have something purposeful to focus on (being one of those empty nesters who's kids are all growed up).
Cheers.... see you in another month!
PS- I almost never think about BC anymore, except when I think of my friends in here! It's so great if/when you can get to that point.
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Hello Everyone. It is getting closer by the day for my first tests and results after all my treatment and every night I get less and less sleep. Have my CT & Bone Scans on the 27th and my Mammo on Oct 1. I am thinking about making them reschedule my Mammo. I have been having pains in my right breast for the past couple of days and I am sure I AM CONVINCING MYSELF that it is back!! Gonna go crazy by then. I usually paint and make art dolls evey day and I can't seem to focus on anything else. Tons of talking to God all day long too. LoL I know he hears me.
Hang in there DesertMama I know what you mean, I almost got on the phone today to complain about mine but I am afraid so I will be patient and wait until Oct 3. I have pain releivers. I am so afraid they will confirm my fears!! Just want a break from crying and being afraid. Prayers that will happen soon, but I know it will be awhile
Can I ask if anyone in here was told not to eat dairy??? I eat yogurt daily and I stopped because someone told me not to? How do I get calcium if I can't eat dairy???
LuvRVing I am pretty sure my oncologist is going to suggest I keep mine in for a while
For some reason it is bugging the crap out of me!! Prayers For ALL of You
Gonna try to sleep tonight!!
Karen
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My dr's told me to eat or drink whatever I want. In moderation...
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Karen, I am totally with you on the stress for the upcoming post treatment scans and mammo. From the looks of your timeline you are a bit ahead of me in everything except rads. I have my mammo scheduled on my bday on teh 2nd. I am oing to reschedule that for next week. I just don't feel like waiting anymore. I have such hard spots, lumps and bumps in my right boob. I also have pink spot, with a pea size bump under the skin. My breast surgeon said it appeared to be benign, however, now I have 2! Scared, nervous.. but also realize it's in Gods hands.
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HeidiToo - Wow, it has been a long time since you logged in girl! We have missed your wonderful nature pictures. Good to hear from you.
My Oncologist is moving to Seattle, they told me on Friday. I cried and cried at work. I realized that I connected him to my cancer journey. I can't describe the feelings I had, it was of fear, sadness, high level of anxiety, and many such mixed emotions. I have booked one last appointment with him on Thursday, then they will transfer my case to one of the other doctors in that office, there is a new lady doctor, and the remaining doctor is also a woman. I don't do very well with women doctor chemistry's, so not sure what I will do. The last doctor is a man, who as you all know, I had at first and had to change him to my current doctor. I am so devastated with him leaving, but I have got to remain with the group, I feel they know me and they will understand me better than if I joined a brand new group. I have a really very hard time with changes.
Dawn - sweetie, I have been thinking about you non-stop. If love can heal, as they say that it does, then I am sending you so much love your way, hoping that you will get healed this time.
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HEIDI!!!How the h*ll are you? Glad to hear you are not thinking of f*cking cancer much! Good for you.
My heart goes out to those of you that are having scares and scan anxiety right now. It is so tough. I know years ago when I had bc the first time and had a lumpectomy I felt all kinds of lumps and bumps, especially along the scar line. It always turned out to be nothing. As far as ports, I still have mine and my last chemo was October. I actually like having it for blood draws and my once every 3 month zometa infusion. Anyone else getting zometa? I can't believe I am coming up on a year since I finished chemo! Why haven't I gotten my energy back?
I had a stress test, ekg and echo today. Anyone else have a stress test before? Wow, I was surprised how tough it was for me! The treadmill they have you walk on goes steep! I did not last very long. I had to do it because I am participating in a clinical trial where you have to exercise at least 3 times a week to see if it cuts recurrence down. For me, being forced to exercise is a good thing! I hope I passed the test! I have been having hip pain that I am trying to ignore, as it scares the crap out of me. I have had it off and on for years, but it doesn't seem to be going away this time:( I had a ct scan, would that show spine stuff and hip stuff? I know they did my pelvis area.
We are having crazy nice weather in Seattle. It is perfect! Sunny and not too hot. I hope you are getting a chance to enjoy it Inmate! I know how you love your garden. Those rads better be taking the pain away for you.
Happy end of summer to everyone! I love this time of year.
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Hey Heidi: Nice to hear from you. Glad things are going well for you.
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Morning ladies,
There is a lady on the Canadian thread and her tag line is 'FOKTOBER'
I have my date for rads... October 4, Mon-Fri for 5 weeks, so will spend the next couple of weeks enjoying feeling pretty darn good.
Sending everyone hugs and love and sunshine for their day.
And I agree Bak... this is the best time of year.
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Bak, since I was 1% progesterone positive, doc advised I take zometa with aridimex. I absolutely could not tolerate aridimex, so stopped it after 3 months. I did take one zometa and then stopped. It was supposed to be taken every 6 months. Are you taking it every 6 months as well? Don't worry about the energy - After Rads, I remember each day after work, I was lying on the couch, thinking the stuff was back, its got to be that. But it is just part of the process. There will be one day very soon when you will feel normal again, believe me, if I can say this, then anyone can. I never thought I would get out of that lethargy situation. I did go through lots and lots of checkups and doctor visits, to clear one thing after another. After the cancer diagnosis, the chemo, the rads, then came the lethargy, hair thinning - diagnosed with a thyroid nodule, did some biopsies, and then came the eye pain, now am diagnosed with an eye condition. It is one thing after another, non-stop, the down trend. But I can handle the nodule and the eye pain - just can't ever go through that other crap again.
Got my blood tests done for tumor markers yesterday - get my results tonight after work. I honestly am so numb from fear getting those results that I become like a piece of stone or something, without any emotions. Bak that clinical trial sounds great, you get the benefit of the exercise, as well as first hand results of their findings. Good luck with your hip pain - maybe it is the zometa, since it works on your bones. Hope everything checks out just fine.
Love to all you lovely ladies today.
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Hang in there Lory. Today a little better but my brother baked me a pumpkin spice cake. LoL WW points are out the house!! LoL Like everyone else in here, I JUST WANT A BREAK & I am sure I will have to learn how to breath again, how bout you?
I felt some lumps back too but they disappeared~No pink for me !! I pray mine is psychological. LoL ~~ I pray yours is good too. When are your tests? Prayers
Well not worrying about what I eat today and I sure haven't walked today either. Lazy Daisy Today!! Back on it tomorrow and I am pretty sure I will be buying some yogurt tonight at the grocery store ksmatthews, can't give up everything!!
Prayers
Karen
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Inmate, been thinking about you lots. Hope the treatments are going well, check in when you can.
I went and saw my therapist for the first time in almost a year yesterday. I've been seeing the psych for my meds, but I don't really talk to them. Well my poor therapist had a lot to catch up on in my disastrous life! I saw her because I'm OK during the day, but my nightly nighmares have become unbearably grotesque and disturbing. They even seemed to freak her out a bit when I described them. She didn't have much help to offer, but it was good to dump out all the mess of the last few months on a listening ear. And... she thinks I'm on too many drugs, and is concerned about the opiates. They'll have to pry them out of my cold dead hands, there's no way I'm giving up my pain meds!
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Hi Minxie
I'm afraid if I see a therapist, she will quit her profession. haha I bet it is nice to talk to someone though!!Inmate haven't met you yet but PRAYERS!! Sounds like you are definitely the survivor in the group!!
Minxie PRAYERS for your nightmares.
Karen
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Hang in there BAK, I started walking again, for a while after rad I was tired all the time and was afraid that I would fall on the treadmill. LoL
I really appreciate you sharing. I actually feel great but late at night when I TRY to sleep, everything goes thru my mind and next thing you know I am crying and panicking. I am just happy I am not the only one. Well NOT HAPPY because don't wish this on anyone!! But releived I am not the only one. Thanks a bunch for sharing
Karen
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EnglishRose, how did your exam go today?
Lovelyface, how about your results?
Fingers crossed everyone will get clean reports. I have a strong feeling that all will be well!0 -
Ugh. What is wrong with me? I had a sweating episode at work today like u wouldnt believe and it sent me into an anxiety attack with crying involved. I called my doc and spoke with a nurse. I guess i am not tolerating tamoxifen well at all. That is drug number 2. I just really wonder how much good it does with my 3% er anyways. I also wonder if the flashes and sweating will go away if i quit tamox. And then i am having hyster. next month. Errrrggg. I am tired of all this crap and really i should be thankful. Thanks for listening.
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bak94 I had my worse hot flash ever today while I was in the docs office and let me tell you I look terrible when I have one because I get these big red splotches every where and the sweat just runs. Therefore, she put me on chlonidine and said it should help. I hope so 0
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Just couldn't resist this ladies
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Bak - I was ER+ for the first go round. I took tamoxifen for 1 year. I thought I was going to die, I felt so badly. So I stopped taking it for 30 days. I felt 90% better in 3 days. Started it again felt miserable in 2 days. I told my onco, I needed QOL! And stopped taking it.
Hope you can find one that works for you!0 -
Good one Cocker!
Crap on the hot flashes..nasty stuff...my DD told me I was a bitch during chemo...well of course...I went through menopause AND chemo at the same time...it's a good thing I didn't kill anyone...
Now I'm just an old bitchy lady and loving it
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I'm going through Chemo and Menopause at the same time. Hot flashes are horrible, especially at night...... Sleepy Time hot tea at bedtime and a room air conditioner helps me a lot. We keep the house at 76, but I turn the bedroom unit down to 68 at night. Even my Akitas get chilled :-).
BTW - whoever in my earlier days recommended Watermelon to snack on shhould get a gold star. I too have eaten my weight in Watermelon this year and it's kept me cool, easy on the gums/stomach and helped with hydration! Thank you, whoever it was. BTW, I get the Chemo Brain thing now...... 14 weeks later, I can speak to it!
Hugs to all!0 -
Hi Ladies !! Officially dxed last week with IDC and DCIS, 3cm, stage IIA, T2 NO MO, in left breast, just found out today I am triple negative too. Enough already !!! Am I reading all these posts right,,reoccurance is higher if you are TN ??? Had just called my BS yesterday and told her I wanted bilateral mastectomy and immediate reconstruction, followed by chemo.Waiting now for appt with PS and hoping I have made the right decision for myself
. Can't believe how much my life has changed in 3 1/2 weeks !!! Any advice would be appreciated. Prayers to all.Pam
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