Calling all TNs
Comments
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Jen; I was 33 when diagnosed last November and my boys were 1.5 and 3 at the time. I can relate to your fears and heartache for your kids. I am here for you!! I am taking an anti-depressant and seeing a counselor every 2 weeks. I am just over a year out now and it does get easier and different. But I am always waiting for that other shoe to drop and yes, every ache and pain sends me into a panic attack. PM me if you ever want to. Xo
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Jenjen - I had dark thoughts in the beginning and was crying every day. It got worse with the lack of sleep and the steroids. I'd walk for miles and cry. They reduced my steroids and it got better for me. It could be the meds need to be adjusted? I was crying everyday thinking about my daughter and what would happen to her if I didn't make it. I don't believe in being positive all the time but you need to fight your way out of those feelings.
Hope - Yes, I had my surgery. I posted on the Sept 2012 thread about it. A long post. It sounds like you are going through a lot. How many more Taxol? I think I remember your surgery date, January 24th?
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QueenKong. Just read your surgery post. Sounds like it went really well! I'm so happy for you. You have been through so much with your pneumonia. I had to laugh at the Chinese Food cause I have been craving it like crazy! I guess I told one of my girlfriends during a chemo session when I was wiped out on benedryl that we needed to go for Chinese food after my last chemo. I haven't had Chinese food in years. I guess I was just blabbing away. That's what makes me nervous about surgery....I'm probably going to tell my most darkest secrets. Anyways, glad your doing well. Keep us updated!
My last taxol is the 27th...yay...doing much better on it!0 -
Hi, My name is Anne, i am 43 yo. I was just diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carsinoma, Grad 3, no lymph node involvemen, margins were all clear, and Triple negative receptors. I'm a week out from a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy. Oh and my mass was 1.6 cm. I detected this myself. Very scared and anxious. Have an appoiontment tomorrow with oncology and my surgeon. Not sure what they are going to tell me. I do believe chemo and radiation are going to be part of the plan. I don't think having cancer has hit me yet but I'm afraid tomorrow it will. My best friend died of breast cancer 2 yrs ago and I know she used this site and got lots of information what other people are going through. I'm sorry to everyone that has to go throughthis. Cancer sucks.. I am going to stay positive and I have great support system so I am going to beat this. Thanks for listening.
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Hi, I am Fatma from Ontario Canada my first diagnoses was at 2005 (38 yr) left TNBC treated with LUMPECTOM,TCA AND RADIATIONS ,last week at age of 45yr I had local recurrence on the RT. side wasn't sure about surgery type but end up by RT. LUMPECTOMY waiting now for the results and Oncology appointments I am with my four lovely kids and caring husband. Now I am terribly scared because I forget it and it come back hope I can make it this time too. Sorry not on mood today. I know it's crazy to go again with LUMECTOMY but it happen .....
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If a shop assistant in Toys R Us or similar tells you a toy is ‘easy to assemble’, that assistant is probably lying scum
Just saying: Women do not an electric toothbrush
Avoid gadgety shops unless you want to get your head spliced off by a remote control helicopter.
- This year’s top-selling gadget gifts, by the way, are expected to be a USB carpet, night-vision socks, cheese-eating slippers, a hat that writes upside down and a toffee that is waterproof to a depth of 100 fathoms.
- I think the waterproof toffee makes the best gift, as what is the point of a toffee if you can’t take it down to the sea bed without it leaking?
Women do not want any of the following as gifts: WD40; an outboard engine; petrol for the car; a fitness DVD; an electric toothbrush; any book with a title such as 1,000 Recipes For The Freezer; Canesten; anything from the Pyrex range.
Keep working on your story. ‘Mummy, how come Father Christmas’s reindeers can fly?’
‘Because each morning he gives them a big cup of Father Christmas’s Most Excellent Flying Juice. It is especially for reindeers who need to fly.’
Goats, bees and donkeys are nice thoughts as gifts, but hell to wrap and to keep secret. Hot-air balloons are also a problem.
Keep the scissors and Sellotape for your sole use. If necessary, hide one in your knickers and the other in your bra.
Plan a Christmas gift budget, then don’t look at what you have spent until April — or ever. Eat your bank statements and teach the children that game called Quick, Quick, Let’s Hide From The Bailiffs!
Why not spare yourself the tiring agony of producing a traditional Christmas dinner and offer something different for a change, such as salad?
This will make small children cry and frighten older people, but, hey, you can’t ever get through Christmas without upsetting someone anyway.
Instead of just watching TV, why not play a traditional family game. The rules for Quick, Quick, Let’s Hide From The Carol Singers! are as follows: turn off lights; hide behind sofa; be very quiet; pretend to be out.
Shallots are the work of Satan. It can take a whole morning to peel one. They are not worth it. They are only tight, nasty little onions with mean and ungiving dispositions.
Try not to get competitive about cards, eyeing up how many others have received. But it’s sensible to send yourself a good number all the same. Plus, you can send yourself charity Christmas cards, thereby proving to yourself that you are a good person, which is nice to know.
Baileys: just because it’s Christmas, it makes it all right to drink a mixture of whiskey and cream, does it? Oh, OK. I get it now. I’ll have a triple with a Tia Maria chaser, thanks.
Should anyone ask if you’ve seen the scissors and Sellotape, it is important to say ‘No’ quite firmly. You may wish to check that the scissors aren’t poking out of your bra, which will only demonstrate to others that you are a liar and the sort of woman who hides sharp implements in her smalls.
Before attacking the shops feverishly in search of the perfect office party dress, check that you work in an office and you’ve been invited to a party. If you don’t work in an office and haven’t been invited to a party, you don’t have to attack the shops feverishly.
Never throw a party yourself. No matter how many chairs you provide, someone will sit on the edge of a low (glass) table and tip it up.
Giving your parents or any older relatives a £5 note and saying ‘Buy yourself something nice’ can offend, so up the amount to £10 (or at least £7.50).
It is important to congratulate all the children in the school Nativity play, even though yours was the best by a mile. Seriously, has there ever been such a brilliant sheep?
Keep working on your story. ‘Mummy, is Father Christmas really Daddy?’
Don’t be silly. When has Daddy ever done anything useful round here?’
A copy of The Times dated the day someone was born makes a thoughtful gift. But, failing that, you could opt for a copy of yesterday’s Times with the date crossed off and ‘September 17, 1932’, for instance, written on it instead. This is not only a far cheaper option, but is also a good gift for an elderly relative in a care home who has no idea who they are or what day it is.
Bread sauce was invented by the Let’s Dream Up Things For Women To Do Society, founded in 1792 to dream up things for women to do. Bread sauce is, therefore, wholly unnecessary, as well as really quite horrible.
Request the Christmas Day shift at work. If you are refused, beg. If you are refused again, turn up for work anyhow. This will make you the Christmas martyr, and everyone knows martyrs don’t have to shop, cook or clean up.
Just because you feel you ought to invite your mother-in-law, it doesn’t mean you have to let her in.
If an assistant in PC World or similar says: ‘Yes, it’s easy to set up; it’s just plug-in-and-play,’ they are probably lying scum. You may kick them.
Beware the tombola at the school Christmas fair because there is every chance you will win back that nasty vase you donated, having won it the previous Christmas.
Also, approach the school fair Santa with some apprehension and expect tearful complaints afterwards, along the lines of: ‘But it wasn’t Father Christmas. It was Christopher’s Dad!’
The Argos catalogue is an excellent place to start your shopping because it features more than 30,000 products — except the one you want, which is out of stock. How does that work exactly?
Gift tokens may seem like a cop-out, but after driving around Brent Cross for four days trying to park and six days trailing around the shops trying not to cry, you’ll be amazed at how sexy and on-trend they suddenly seem.
Keep working on that story, even though your energy may be on the wane.
‘Mummy, how does Father Christmas get into houses without chimneys?’
‘Through the hole in my wallet where my money used to be, I expect.’
If you have done nothing yet about Christmas and are in denial, have a triple Baileys with a Tia Maria chaser. You’ll be amazed by how little you care
If your husband’s idea of a gift is to wrap up the kettle at the last minute (‘How thoughtful: our kettle!’) it is only fair that you give him the cheese-grater in return. Alternatively, you could give him the finger, which is cost-effective and extremely satisfying.
You do not have to keep up with the Joneses when it comes to Christmas trees and lights. It is perfectly fine to keep things tatty and half-hearted in the hope you will eventually drag them down to your level.
’Tis the season to be jolly, so, of course, you are going to feel depressed. Accept it and move on.
Stop working on that story. ‘Mummy, how does Father Christmas get round all the houses in one night?’
‘That’s a good question. Though, first, let me ask you this. Isn’t there anything on telly?’
Brandy butter was also invented by the Let’s Dream Up Things For Women To Do Society (see bread sauce, above), as was wrapping bacon around fiddly little sausages. Cranberry sauce is OK, and at least you’ve had that same jar on the go since 1952.
That toffee is still the perfect present.
If you have done nothing yet about Christmas and are in denial, have a triple Baileys with a Tia Maria chaser. You’ll be amazed by how little you care.
Obviously, you want to arrive early so as to bag rooms before your sister arrives. Tell your sister you’re arriving on the 24th. Drive up on the night of the 23rd.
Bring earplugs, holly and manners. A good idea is to wash up immediately after arriving. Everyone will say: “Oh, no, you really shouldn’t.” For the rest of the visit, heed their advice. A good ruse is to be the one who befriends the aged relative. When in doubt, sit on the sofa and nod.
Just accept it: all mums are insane throughout Christmas. There’s little you can do. Peel potatoes. Keep smiling. Ply with drink.
Steel yourself for siblings. You’ve not talked in a year; suddenly, you’re sharing a lilo on the floor.
Go to bed early and don’t make festive innuendos such as “I’ve got to stuff the turkey”, or “I’d better get to bed. Later, I’m coming down the chimney”.
You’ll be under surveillance from mums determined that everyone should have fun. At all times wear a smile, a festive hat and the ugliest and most garish present you’ve been given.
Remember to enjoy yourself. If you don’t, someone will attack. ’Tis the season to be jolly. And if you can’t be jolly, get drunk.
Should a sexual encounter come your way at Christmas time, remove scissors and Sellotape from pants and bra. Or don’t if you want to give them a night they will truly remember.
Lastly, if the going gets tough, just repeat this special Nativity prayer: ‘Forgive us our Christmases just as we forgive those who Christmas against us.’ It makes no sense whatsoever, but it is still strangely soothing.
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Oh Bernie! You are priceless!
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Bernie - I Needed the tape in the knickers suggestion! Where the hell, does that stuff get off too?
Russell33- welcome! So sorry for the loss of your friend. You will feel so much more in control, when you have a treatment plan. Please let us know if you have any questions. The thing I like about support groups, is the very practical advice. You can also let your hair down here - vent, rant or be just be silly.0 -
Hi - I was diagnosed with TNBC officially in Sept 2009, although I knew I had it long before that and was in an abusive marriage. I had Taxotere and Cytoxin followed by Adriamycin in April 2010 followed by radiation. I had a modified radical mast in September 2010 and in Jan 2011 had a tram flap reconstruction. I was out of the woods... so I thought. In May 2012, I was rediagnosed with it back in my femur. I went on Vanilorabene which only let it spread and started Taxol in November, 2012. Already I can feel a difference in my hip and and femur. I 've been told I will be on this for the rest of my life, 3 weeks on and a week off. I am terrified. I go day to day which I know we are all told to do.. Sometimes I wonder by the reaction by some people will I be here next Christmas... I should have said I HAVE NO SIDE EFFECTS.. My doctors have been amazed that my bloodwork never showed anything, I had no pain.. it was only because of a fall walking my dog that it was discovered. Please send me any encouraging words... I am scared to death.
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Thank you OBXK.
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Mermaid - I and a few others on this thread are Stage IV. I am so sorry this has happened to you. Have you looked on the Stage IV thread? You might find someone who has had bone mets for many years, to cheer you on. Wishing you all the best...
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Mermaid...I'm so sorry to hear your news! Please know you can vent, cuss, cry here with us. I do know there are many people on these threads like OBXK said that have lived with bone mets for a long time and are doing well. Please keep us posted and know your in my prayers!
Erin0 -
What are your thoughts........ either my cancer has grown ridiculously fast or my tests are way off. Ultrasound showed 3 cm mass. Mri showed 4 cm mass. Clinical exam 4 X 5. Then pet scan showed 9.5 cm mass and a spot in my armpit and one in my mammary chain behind my sternum. First test was November 29. Last test was last week. I don't even know what stage i am clinically now. Does metastatic disease just mean its gotten into nodes or something more ominous?
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Can you hear the screaming in my head?? Just kidding. Not really.
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HopeFC - here's a link that explains staging:
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/staging0 -
Thank you
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HopeFC - you may see your onco before your treatment on Tuesday. Here are some questions you may want to ask:
http://www.caring.com/articles/questions-to-ask-oncologist0 -
Forget cancer for five minutes and think of these little angles
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HopeX: That Chinese food was the best I'd had in years! I'm glad you understand. What is this about blabbing secrets in surgery? Does that happen? I had some very strange dreams when I came up. I hope I didn't blab my secrets!
HopeFaith: That sounds frightening. When I first found the tumor, it was growing very fast. My goal was to start chemo as soon as possible. I don't know what it was when they started finally but it was over 6cm when I had my first MRI. I could see it coming out of the side of my breast, has skin change and nipple pain while I was going through tests to get started. When do you start chemo?
Mermaid: That sounds like a lot to deal with. It sounds like you are on the right track with treatments and very lucky to have no SE's. All I can say is keep going, you're doing great.
Anne: Welcome, there is a lot of great info on this site and keep us posted with your progress. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.
It's bed time.
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CS-that is heartbreaking. I cannot imagine what the parents are going through or the fear the little ones (and adults) suffered during the last minutes of their lives.
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hopefaithcourage...my results read metastatic disease because it had gone to 3 of my lymph nodes. It did travel quickly through my body. Surgery happened pretty quickly for me 6 days from official diagnosis.
mermaid...I am sorry that you must endure all of this. Your treatment plan sounds about right and horray to you for no SE's. We are always here to listen to anything
Maggie
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RUSSELL33 -- your diagnosis is very similar to mine but I did have SN involvement. Originally they told me radiation only but with the TN they had to add chemo. Good luck and you will feel more in control when you have your treatment plan in place.
Unfortunately chemo kicked my butt this past week. This is the first day I have even felt like getting on the site since Tuesday. I took the meds like clockwork but still dizzy and nauseous. My DIL buzzed my hair on Wednesday and DH shaved it slick. I have some stubble though so he says I did it too soon. I've cried and felt sorry for myself some this past week but realize how blessed I am when I think of the tragedy in Conn.
Planning to head to a Look Good Feel Better class in a little bit. I wish for everyone to have a good day.0 -
5thsib...the goody bag they give you is so nice...enjoy your day!
maggie
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Just left my chemo class...with a headache. I can't get a grip since they changed my dx to triple negative...so hopeless. I hope the chemo kicks some serious ass, I am so worried - I think going back to work will help. I have too much time to think about death and every ache and pain. I went from being a power player to a total crying wuss. DAMN IT.
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Chin up jenjen. There is plenty of hope. I am wondering what a chemo class entails? When do you start chemo?
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yes, 9:15 Adriamycin, Cytoxan and Taxtore (sp). The chemo class was to go over what the day will look like, the SE, what to expect/preventative.
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all drugged up and on my steroids, clariton, depression meds, xanax. I have had quite the back and pelvis aches (for a while now...maybe 1.5 weeks) and headache (not eating enough) I am drinking lot's of water. List made for tomorrow, bag packed, list of questions for the MO...after my dx I had a CT scan which was clear (but I understand it identifies larger/pronounced area's of concern) now that my dx switched to TN I want a baseline PET scan bc of some of the pains I've been having with my back and pelvis....he's gonna hate me but I would rather baseline and check now vs starting chemo since those are SE.
Making a dinner tonight since I know I will LOVE it. No bath for the kids tonight...yay! Tomorrow - drop kids off, go to church, then off to treatment. Calling it treatment is a huge step for me before I called it poison.
Recieved nice flowers today and a box from my boss. She has sent me a box of goodies every 2 weeks for the last few months.
I feel a little more peaceful today, i guess I just know IT'S TIME TO DO THIS SHIT! Tomorrows game time is 9:15!
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Good luck, Jenjen! You'll do fine tomorrow!!!
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Jen - I will be thinking of you. I did the class and the AC/Tax regimine last year. Here's a big hug.
Sherry
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Jen..good luck tomorrow...you will do fine..you are ready and prepared....the first chemo is the scariest...after that ..well..it's something you just have to do...hang in there..!
Cocker..I'm just so sick about the Newtown murders of those babies..and the adults...to be honest I hope that the shooter is burning in hell right now....
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