Calling all TNs
Comments
-
Hi everyone, dont post much these days - just trying to get on wtih life - and I know I'm lucky enough to be able to. I am so sad to hear about Naan and Michelle - FUCK U CANCER (sorry for the potty mouth).
ALHusband - my tag signature line is the same as your wife's t-shirt. So true !!
I send you all love and hugs and remember cherish every moment of this life you can.0 -
Fighter34 what does HBD stand for? I do not know how doctors do it either..............nor vets. I have cried all day today and they always stand strong. I would not be a good doctor or vet because I would be bawling along with the patients........My vet says it is hard sometimes but they stick with it because of all the good they can do. My biggest question is how they don't lose it when helping us help our babies to the Rainbow Bridge and he said it took a long time for him to get through them but they just have to keep telling themselves it is ending the pets suffering. With human doctors I am not sure how they do it because they don't end our suffering in the same way0 -
stupidboob - is skittles a dog? I have lost 2 dogs to cancer and it just tears one apart. It is so, so difficult. Hugs to you during this difficult time.0 -
stupidboob: I figured out that skittle must be your pet. Just want you to know that I feel sorry for what's happening to skittle. Life is really hard, and we all have to strong as there is no other choice. Hugs to you.
J0 -
adagio yes she is my fur baby...............100% Mama's Cancer has stolen so much from me. My mama, my aunt and various fur babies with different types of cancer.... I am sorry you lost your babies to this too. Thank you for sharing and for the hugs
J thank you0 -
Hi Stupidboob - same here, I sent you a PM yesterday, not sure if you saw it. Thinking of you both. Hugs.0 -
I am terrified of my DX. I am a 21 year veteran of emergency nursing, and have never feared much in my life, but the DX of TNBC has thrown me into a total tailspin. Is is normal to think of your death? Is it normal to plan? Is it normal to figure out "around the time I'll prolly die"? I am driving myself and my family insane. I am 46, my mother had BC in 1989, alive and well today, however we so not know her pathology and HER testing was not available then. Chemo or surgery first is my dilemma....0 -
Any thoughts you have during this whirlwind are normal. I was absolutely convinced I was going to die for a very long time. It got better for me, although I still have worries of course. I had chemo first. What I liked about it was they could see how effective the chemo was. In my case, it was not that effective, so I had additional chemo in a clinical trial after my surgery. I also chose to do radiation (I was in a grey area, with 2 positive nodes.) BTW, my initial diagnosis was triple negative and they retested the remaining tumor and found 5-10% ER receptors after surgery. My oncologist believes the tumor mutated in response to the Adriamycin - so I ended up getting to take tamoxifen afterward. The tamoxifen may or may not help, but if I had had surgery first, I would not have this additional option.
I wish you all the best! These boards helped me so much as a tremendous amount of support!0 -
tumor -- Oh I was so sure I was going to die! Almost 3 years ago. Been NED for at least 2 years. I was so ignorant about protocols for treating CA that I just did what the doctors suggested. Mod Rad Mast first, then chemo, then rads. On my 1 year dx anniversary I was basking in the sun in Hawaii. I was still a bit weak, but I was so happy to be alive. I was 69 at dx. Best wishes to you. J0 -
Hey Clyde..hell yes you think you are going to die right away when you first are dx'd....and then...you find out that no..you aren't going to die right away..or possibly for a very long time...takes awhile to get your mind around the whole cancer dx.....you are perfectly normal with your freaking out......been there done that..and awaiting my 5 years out in March...0 -
Titan...we are cheering you to the 5 yr mark....YOU GO GIRL!
clyde...we all feel that way in the beginning....our mind wanders to dark places. In time we go to those places alot less and then realize that we can beat this monster! We are all here to support you in any way that you need so ask anything
Maggie0 -
I can relate to the fear of thinking you're going to die when first diagnosed. I was so scared not only for myself but my kids. My kids lost their father about 2 years ago and immediately I thought OMG if I die they will have no parents. But thankfully, shortly after I was diagnosed I went into survival mode. Yes we have lost some great women to this horrible disease, but I believe the survival rate is increasing.0 -
Such encouragement from each of you. I affectionately named my tumor Clyde, no specific reason why, the name just fit. I am very OCD and have researched TNBC so much that my dear husband has threatened to turn the WI FI off, lol. I have known 4 women since 2005 that have passed on from BC, but do not know their history. One was my sons elementary school principal, then her replacement passed on a year later, so he has been dealing with this with such a fear that it tears me up to c him struggle with all these emotions. He is 13, and my daughter is 22. I did the BCRA testing but results not back yet. I seeing MO Friday and saw surgeon yesterday. Bilateral double mastectomy planned, but am leaning towards chemo first. It seems as tho that is the trend now. Still scared, still convinced death is imminent, and feel so lost. My family is very supportive but clueless to the severity of TNBC. Can't really talk about it without crying when I try to talk to them...0 -
Clyde, I know exactly what you mean. I too researched TNBC to death (pun intended). I was fortunate to have a cousin who is a doctor to have gone throught the same thing 16 years earlier than me so I relied on her heavily to give me the honest brutal truth and finally she said, "Well I am still here!" I guess at that point I had to accept the fact that no one knows how or why cancer works the way it does. Good heavens, I can't even find someone else who has the exact same cancer diagnosis and treatment that I had.
The support that you will find here will carry you through the tough times and we will celebrate the good times too. Nothing is off limits here, feel free to rant, cry, scream or what ever makes you feel better. Just know you are among some of the most wonderful people who is here to share your journey. Sending cyber hugs your way. :-)0 -
I am so happy to have a place to vent.
So, hello my name is Tina, I am a mom of 2, wife for 23 years, RN for 21 years and my mother is a 24 year survivor of BC. Scared, but optimistic. Thanks for the welcoming words of encouragement, peace and love....Tina0 -
Welcome along Tina!
It's scary as hell, for me personally I've found it gets easier to live with. those first few weeks were terrifying and I was numb and detached from allot of it, I literally took it a day at a time, heck an hour at a time if I'm honest - and slowely the fear and anxiety has greatly improved. I'm still scared but it doesn't consume me and I'm really positive about living a long life and seeing my little ones grow up, we're all here to support you, lots of love and hugs xox0 -
Hi Tina,
I was diagnosed 7 days earlier than you. Sigh! How are you doing now?0 -
Tina - I am almost a year from dx and I still battle the mental demons. They creep in often but not as intense as they used to be. I suggest doing chemo 1st as well, I didn't and I regret it bc I will never know if chemo was effective. Here for you!0 -
I am three years out and still have days when I feel sorry for myself, and then I have to remind myself how lucky I am that I got a second chance and that yes I have some side effects I am dealing with, I am still here, still living every day to the fullest and loving my family to death. Remember each day is a gift to be treasured.
0 -
GuyGirl- good for being 3 years out, it does get easier.
HBD- means HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you enjoyed. I would be lousy in the medical world. Definitely not for me. I hate going to my ONC office now. I just want to be seen and run, brings back all the horrible memories! I was at a very low place prior to DX, and it took that fight it regain me. I never want to go down that road again. Just typing that made me FEEL better.
Clyde once you have a plan in place things seem to get better. People would say that in the beginning to me all the time, and it is true.
I had a BMX two years ago now. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Take care of yourself.
0 -
candi - EVERYONE tells me, let me know what you need!! We were very self sufficient! and I thank God for that. I was very surprised by ONE friend, who I havent seen in years who took me to radiation and she insisted. She came to keep me company and it was so nice that she was there for me in that way and we reconnected. Its hard to ask, In reverse I would like to think I would jump in and DO. And I have, we had a friend, very young, mid 30's , new baby and a teen daughter, when she was diagnosed, we and another family cooked a weeks worth of food - drove down to her house 2 hours away and delivered it and got on our hands and knees and cleaned up her house for her. We did that a few times and once she said all she wanted to be able to sit on her deck and have a cup of coffee -her husband had taken it down and never replaced it - my husband got 5 guys together and drove down one day and they built her deck for her. I'm not expecting anything like that, but yes a little more comfort and checking in to see what they (our friends and family) can do for us. I have one dear dear friend who told me she couldnt talk to me because she has her own problems that she cant put aside and she would be compelled to discuss her problems which would bring me down so best she doesnt talk to me!!! (her boyfriend committed a crime and is in jail).. Really??? you are that selfish that you cant talk to me for a few minutes about what i'm going thru...you dont care whats happening to me...wow, I guess shes really not a friend. And i was comforting her about her boyfriend and never mind i went way out last year to get her the current job she has. People are very strange. I would take it as a learning lesson, dont stress about any of it. You will find who your angels are around you and you many be surprised by who they are. Some people just dont know any better.
There are services that can help you with food and anything else you might need. Please reach out to the hospital treating you and the american cancer society. I was offered food and other services, but I am blessed with a wonderful husband and two kids and truthfully even though i went through a lot, I was able to function and work and cook and do whatever I needed to with the help of my family, so I know I am one of the lucky ones.
0 -
Thanks to all of you for sharing your survival stories they are very encouraging.0 -
Ugh...now I have shingles.0 -
Everyone has their stories about "friends" and going through dx/treatment/etc....I have to admit there were some friends I was totally disappointed with and some that totally surprised me with their caring....sometimes I think about the ones that were totally uncaring that I really hoped nothing bad ever happened to them....however, I have learned to let it go..some people just don't have it in them to really care...they are just superficial....friends when things are going good...nowhere in sight when they are not...I have learned alot about people during my cancer journey.....and it's ok...its just how some people are.....I have learned how I need to be...0 -
Hello to all. Haven't checked in a few days because I've been as they say knee-deep in alligators. I so thank you all for letting me know that life does go on because it sure going on in my neck of the woods. My 99-year-old mother-in-law is in the hospital slowly failing but she'll go back to nursing home tomorrow. To really make things ironic I'm one of the ones that has medical power of attorney. So I get all her news and updates and things, it's a mess. But sitting back today just looking at the last few days has made me realize yes life does go on. I haven't really thought about my diagnosis, my having to quit chemo, my just throwing the dice, my holistic treatments, nothing, I've just been doing.... Actually is in some ways it's sad because it's coming to the end of her time but it made me realize it's not the end of mine yet. I've still got things to do. Still going to my yoga still watching my diet but my BC is not my primary thought for the day anymore. Actually such a relief. I'm sure I'll have up-and-down days and maybe someday I'll have to face it again but right now I really have a positive outlook. And I can thank a majority of you for letting me see that. Life goes on and we have to live it the best way we can. We can't have that cloud hanging over us 24/7 waiting for the rain. Some days we just have to look for that rainbow.
God bless those we have lost. So now we fight in their place to beat this CRAP!!
Let's go ladies (AL husband too). Give a cheer. We're still here & doing our best day to day to keep on - keeping on.
Love to you all. Keep looking for that rainbow!
)0 -
Jianchi,
I am still in panic/ fight/flight mode.
I can't seem to stop crying and can't bring myself to leave the comfort of my home. I know it will get better and I hate being so down all the time. Seeing MO tomorrow to try to get started on Chemo. I never thought I would look forward to something like that, but I am so ready to start fighting this monster. I wish that this crap would just go away and leave everyone alone. Has anyone out there heard of ESSIAC tea? My daughter studied plant biology in college and has tons of research on healing herbs, so she brought me some and I have been drinking it...it can't hurt.0 -
Debra I did not receive a pm from you..................but thank you for thinking of us0 -
Lookingforw I feel just like you although I didn't in the beginning. I'm grateful for every day and I try my best not to let it get me down any more. I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. I find laughter is the key and it doesn't take much to make me laugh plus a very loving family.
To all the newbies hopefully things will get better for you.
With regards to friends I found everybody was supportive and helped cheer me up no end. With my friends, family and you ladies I think all that really helped me.
Titan just for you, we have a long weekend so I will think about you slogging away on the computer on Monday!!! And it is also my wedding anniversary. I have been married to my old feller for 47 years and he is still as wonderful as the day I married him. Sure just a few little spats along the way but he's never given me any cause to worry and is there 100% for me and his family. So I reckon by now he is a keeper bless his heart.
Have a great weekend and try not to worry everyone. Do something you really enjoy and have a lot of fun if you can.0 -
Just a note to tumornamedclyde.
Sorry about your diagnosis. Your in the beginning stages of fighting this CRAP. Your feelings are well understood by this group. We have all been there.
I have not made one year yet but determined to do my best.
Glad you are being proactive, but as someone that had no alternative than alternative medicine due to allergies & chemo complications. I strongly advise you to tell your MO that you are taking the Tea. It may have side effects with chemo. What ever you decide keep your team advised if what you are doing. It is very important. All my doctors know exactly what I am doing. They can't prescribe my choice, but can monitor me.
Good Luck. Keep looking forward.0 -
Cocker- WOW 47 years!!! Happy wedding anniversary!0
