Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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wait...do we have to wear bras 24/7 for the rest of our lives? oh boy!
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Hillick thanks for clearing that up. ok yes sometimes different bra styles or brands can fit differently, if you go up in band size in something new, you may need to go down in cup size, not always. My concern is that people that shop online, and know there size in a certain bra, should not think they can just switch sizes if their size is not on sale. We get that at Soma a lot. Right now they have a sale rack with bras 50% off and some women will just wear the wrong size to save the money and then end up unhappy. Most people wear the same size in most Soma bras, but yeah the cami bra is very unique so could fit differently.
Size is so important for comfort and especially for us recovering from surgery. I know that European fit is very tight. I have heard from customers that they were fitted at Clare de Lune and were way smaller than what I measure them, and the bras they got there were expensive and they were very uncomfortable. Maybe I am lucky, but the bras I wear are not uncomfortable for me and I am getting great progress from wearing them. The first month I wore the surgical bra, then month two underwire, and it was like night and day when I saw the changes.
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Interesting, Carrol and Hillck. So Carrol, here's my question. I was fitted as a 32DDD and the fitter put the bra on the tightest setting. After not very long, I developed deep gauges from the bra and finally put it on the loosest setting. It is much more comfortable now, although still very tight. What's your take on this situation? I guess that is why I was thinking that I might be able to get away with a 34DD at some point in time. I honestly am not too psyched about being a 32DDD.
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If, when you buy a bra, and it is already on the tightest hooks, the band size is not correct...you need to go DOWN a band size.
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I don't think I need to go down a band size - I already have marks from this bra being as tight as it is. Having that chick put it on it's tightest setting made the bra super uncomfortable. Now that it is on its loosest setting, I can stand it.
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sweetbean well I am not a doctor so I don't want to steer you wrong. I can only give my opinion. I don't think your bra should be that uncomfortable or give you any really deep or red marks or indents that you see when you take it off, some light marks from the band is normal but should go away fairly quickly. When i fit people, I try to make sure it fits on the middle hooks, so you can make it tighter if it stretches or you lose weight, and you can make it looser if you gain a little weight. Everyone's weight fluctuates a little bit. Again, I am not any kind of expert on this, I am just a sales associate that fits people at a bra store. Always get advice from your doctor. All I can tell you is my personal experience. If you came to me at Soma I would have your try on both the 34DD and a 34DDD. If the cup fits but the band is too tight no reason to go down in cup size, unless somehow you misinterpret what is causing the issue, it can be tricky sometimes to determine what is the issue, the band or the cup or both. So that is why I say try them both on. I have seen some women in underwire that is so big on them it digs into their armpits, so that can be odd to determine since there is no spillage or gapping in the cup. Go by two things how does it feel, bend over stretch your arms over your head, jump up and down, whatever you have to do. Then look in the mirror. Does it give good support, are you popping out anywhere, are you getting the coverage you like, are the cups gapping, do you feel like your slipping out, can you get your finger easily under the band all the way around, do the straps stay put, do the straps dig into your shoulder? I could go on and on.
I could be wrong ladies. My doctor tells me to be comfortable. Perhaps sometimes doctors like the bras to be very tight, I do not know. The only time mine kept things tight was the surgical bra which was awful. I persoanlly don't want to deal with that if I don't have to.
Again this all my very humble opinion and I am not qualified medically in any way.
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Thanks, Carrol! I got the impression that this fitter hadn't seen so many BC ladies. I'm going to stop in at BraSmyth in NYC when I am there for my post-op next week.
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sweetbean like I said earlier European fit is tighter than here so she could be just doing what she was trained to do. I would say get lots of opinions, and yes someone fitting with experience in recon will help. But keep in mind, as the title of this thread suggests, there is a debate about what is the right thing to do here. Get informed, then decide for yourself.0
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sweetbean - That all depends. I asked my PS the exact question, and his response was sort of two-sided: Without the support of a bra, the implants WILL move - how much depends on a variety of factors which differ between individuals (rib cage slope, implant size to some respect, additional suture support, etc); however, if wearing a bra to sleep causes significant disruption in lifestyle or comfort, then it's not worth it. Either resign that somewhere down the road a revision might be needed, or embrace whatever changes come as part of the whole reconstruction journey. That's essentially what he said, and it makes a lot of sense - at least to me.
Even now 2 1/2 years post-exchange I'm not comfortable without a bra - and I'm not even comfortable without a WELL-SUPPORTING bra (which for me means unlined underwire.) In fact, just today, I wore one of my medium support lululemon pull-over bras (not the "Tata Tamer") to go to Pilates. After running a few errands - about 4 hours - I was sore. Off came that bra and on went my trusty Freya Pollyanna! Happy foobies!
Speaking of comfort, yes, there are different schools of thought about the tightness of bras. My experience was with a PS that believes that the bra helps shape the capsule ("pocket"), so tightness is paramount - straps hiked as tight as possible and band the same. I will be the first to tell you I was absolutely miserable for about two weeks. Since I couldn't move my arms, I'd have my DH unhook my bra every once in awhile just for relief. Then, as I've related before, one day I realized that I hadn't thought about my bra that day. A significant part of that was undoubtedly the bra relaxing - which they definitely do, which is why you shouldn't by a band that you have to wear on the tightest hooks - but it was also my body just becoming accustomed to that feeling. Heck, if the Europeans do it, so can I!
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Val, when you say you were sore, what was sore? Your incision? Foobs in general? I'm OK with wearing the bra 24/7, but I don't think I can wear it on its tightest setting right now. That's just too painful.
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Today instead of tears I said screw it- I have been trying to connect for 2 weeks with the only place in my area that does specific fittings for recon apparently only one lady can give you an appt and we miss each others calls- My hope was she could help me come up with something so when I go back to work people will not stare at my chest related to nmy failed recon . I am now running out of time they are closed Fridays and I need something for Monday - So I decided today to try a bra specific shop. I have to listen to we really don't have anything that meets your needs - Lady could not even take the time to mearure me -
Home I go mad as crap toss all 32 bras ( yup 32) on my bed and find one that will work if I do a bit of manipulation - I throw all the other out read through the thread get some ideas go on line and order me a few to try- thank you ladies for all your suggestions on different types to buy.
Darn it why does this BC journey have to be this hard right down to a stupid bra ...
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[[[[[[[kburdic]]]]]]] Grrrrr! So sorry that things have been so frustrating for you right now!
We've been through so much and when it is something that shouldn't be a big deal but it turns out to be ... that sets us over the edge. 
Been there. I gave all my old bras away. Seems I had been wearing the wrong size for over 20 years.
Did ANY of your old bras work? When you talk about 'failed reconstruction' what does that mean? Are you flat and need prothesis? Do you have implants and aren't happy with the result? Or something else?
For most of us (the exception being tall and broad shouldered women), add two inches to your rib circumference and that is your band size. Do you have a soft measuring tape? You can measure your ribcage (just below your foobs) and come up with your likely band size. Because your need is urgent ... get that # and go to a Dillard's, Macy's, Nordstroms would be PERFECT if you have one nearby, or even Target or Victoria's Secret and start trying on bras.
Edited to add:
I just went back and found your post on the previous page. I understand your predictament now. The bra Val61 recommended is this one:
But I'd bet that your local mall or again, even Target may have bras that can meet this immediate need.
xoxo keep us posted.
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Sweetbean -- sounds like it is worth your while to at least TRY a 34DD!
Deborah -- LOVE that Natori Feathers bra... I just googled it and its VERY pretty.
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Sweet bean-I wasn't sore, per se, in my implants at all. My discomfort came just from the tight bra band and straps. But like I said, it went away after a couple of weeks
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Sweet bean-what part is painful to you? I had a great deal of pocket work done -both with my original exchange and even more with my left side revision. Regardless of the bra, that wouldn't have felt good no matter what I did. Pocket work is just not fun.
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kburdic: You can always email me a photo privately and perhaps I can come up with an idea for you.
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sweetbean - I have a 28 inch rib cage. After my exchange I couldn't stand anything near my implants. I wore bras with a 32" band. A few months out, however, the pain shifted and then it became I had to wear a tight band or I hurt. Strange.
I call my foobs diva foobs for that reason. 
So ... now I wear a 30 band and my left side aches and my foobs themselves hurt deep inside if I wear anything less than a 30 band. I can get by in snatches wearing something a little loose, but not for long. Totally agree that pocketwork can make things worse ... increased pain.0 -
Interesting. I actually think that I popped an internal stitch on Monday - I scratched my back. (Who knew?) So that little tiny section has really hurt. I think that the super tight bra has helped it heal in the right place, though. Everything looks good - nothing's out of whack. But man, so painful.
Wearing the bra on its tightest setting leaves me with DEEP grooves in my skin. Very uncomfortable. Putting it on the loosest setting improves things a lot.
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Good news...I called a local boutique & they have certified fitters & said if I get a script they will submit to my insurance company & I have coverage for 4 bras!!! I see my PS next week so I'll get it then. It's only about 10 miles away!!
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I have a beef with these doctors.....why don't they give patients this info. I am dumbfounded by the lack of info we are all given....
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Dawn-Hope: You asked about old bras fitting. I'm 5 months post exchange. My favorite pre BMX bra was Bali #3383 in 36DD. I was hoping my new size after reconstruction would be B. No such luck & I'm still a 36DD. The old Bali's still sort of fit. They are stretchy & not lined, so there is just a little "slack" where the nipples were. My width means some new bras are 36DD and some are 38DD. Sigh. I was so looking forward to an 'average' size & shopping the sale racks. But frankly, I wear Danskin sports bras 98% of the time & 24/7 since the compression feels good.
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I have been following this post for awhile now and have not posted. I am excited to say that my exchange is on 2/22 and I can't wait!!!!! I asked my PS about underwires, and he said after three months I can wear underwire, by then I think my foobs will have settled and I will be ready for some bra shopping. The nurse told me to go to Walmart and get the Fruit of the Loom Comfort bra to wear the first three months after the week in the bra they send me home with. I have bought 2 of those after my appt last week and wear them everyday to get used to them. I had LD recon and I find any bra for a long period to be annoying on my back, but I think preparing me for this 24/7 bra wearing is a good start.
The closest Nordstrums to me is about an hour away in Charlotte, but I found a Soma's in Greensboro, so when I reach the point that I am ready for buying good bras I will call one of these and set up an appt. So far I have had no complications and hope that continues, so I can move forward in this journey.
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kerrberlady - It is worth a drive to Nordstrom. They have specially trained fitters. Soma is good and if you need help, Carroll2 works there as does Delilahbear.
Nordstrom has a history with helping breast cancer patients and the training to fit reconstructed breasts. It would be the first place I would try. My nearest Nordstrom is 2.5 hours away and it was worth it to me to go there and get fitted. It is important to make an appointment with a surgical fitter before you go.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/prosthesis-program0 -
I have been wearing a Soma Vanishing Back bra for a few weeks now. It is so comfortable. It is not very tight, but seems to give me decent support. I also bought a couple of their cami bras that have smooth outside, they are cut high on the chest and are very supportive.
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kerrberlady - I will chime in here. Thanks Dawne-Hope for the mention. I do work at Soma and there are several bras that those of us with reconstruction are able to wear. As far as non-underwire there is the wire-free vanishing back and several others. Dawne-Hope mentioned the vanishing back and everyone who can wear it finds it comfortable. For some reason I cannot get them to fit me. I like the allura for the contoured cups and the Selena and Emma for the unlined. I wear a 38DD or 38D so am a bit larger than some others here. Carroll2 also works at a Soma and may have some other recommendations.
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Delilahbear - It wasn't me who wears the vanishing back, was it Val61?
Soma doesn't work for me ... doesn't' come in my band size and doesn't give me the side support that I need. I have a t-shirt bra from Soma (79984) and after a few hours I begin to hurt when I wear it. But I'm like that with a lot of bras ... seems the only ones I can wear with comfort are the 3 part-cup bras. I do love the Soma bamboo nightwear ... so soft and cool!
It's important here as we talk different brands to realize that what works for one may not work for another. Some of us are Soma gals, others Wacoal, others Anita, others Natori, others Freya, others Chantelle and on and on. None are necessarily better ... but we all have different bodies and different needs. Some of need small band sizes, others larger. Some of us need the support of a 3 part cup, some of us have side issues and we need tons of side support, some of us need a lot of separation in the middle ... different needs, different bras. We have to find what works best for our individual needs.
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I agree with Dawn Hope we are all different, recon or not, luckily there are lots of choices out there. I can only speak about Soma since I work there but I am sure there are lots of other brands that will work well and some better than others. If any of you would like to get anything at Soma and need help with any advise with them I would be happy to help if I can. Also I am able to help with getting money saving coupons so pm me if your interested in getting that.
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WOW! Deborah I really like the Natori Feathers bra!!! Very pretty and sexy!!! Might be looking to buy that one!
OK...I found it on 6pm.com for $19.99! Thanks! Jessica
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There are two different styles of Natori "Feathers" - one is a contour plunge - which is the one I have - and the other is an unlined version.
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