Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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Sandra!!! That is an AWESOME FIND!!! Thanks so much for sharing!! And I never knew this either til bc and reading through this thread.
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Yes, Sandra, it is interesting isn't it? I knew this early on in life (my sister and I both were professionally fitted at young ages...she is a 30F, and I am (usually) a 32DD/E but our breast "volume" is same...she just has a smaller ribcage. She also has a narrower ribcage side to side, so the appearance or her breasts is very different compared to my wider looking ribcage. My mother was a 34D before her MX...and again same volume as my sister and I but very different appearance! But, we could all wear each others bras....the cups fit, but the band just would not be right right. I found going up a band size/down cup size was good for a sleep bra but not supportive enough for a daily bra.
Yes, most women are in the wrong size. Department/chain stores where many buy their bras often have a limited selection of sizes (usually no bands under 34 for example). So usually women are actually in band sizes too big for them...they look for cups that fit but do not have selection of right band sizes and so are in a 34B rather than a 32C for example. Then they find themselves over tightening shoulder straps, pulling down back strap of bra, and so on. Meanwhile the breasts may fit the cups...but they are not being properly supported. No wonder so many find bras uncomfortable! In my experience, in a proper fitting bra you forget you even have it on...except to know you feel supported and comfortable. It can take some getting used to though for those who have been used to wearing too-large bands as it will feel snug (but comfortable) at first.
I am very passionate about proper fitting bras...every woman whether she has small or large breasts, is skinny or overweight, should get a PROPER fitting (not at VS!). I am also passionate about women being in proper fitting and properly supporting sports bras....but that is another topic!
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So true!! After my first exchange I was fitted at Nordstroms and my size was 34G!!!!
I grew up wearing 36B, so that was CRAZY!!! Lol. I also always bought bras at Target or Kohls. Well. NOBODY with a 30% off coupon carries a cup that big in a band that small. Sad me.
After my revision I am now 34DD. YAY!!! I can find bras much easier now. But of course now I've discovered how great a GOOD bra is!! No wonder in highschool I always felt kind of floppy.
My band initially feels a bit tight on a new bra, but after I've worn it a few times it loosens up and I truly forget I'm wearing it. A good fit is totally worth an extra few dollars.
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Dulci said:
"A good fit is totally worth an extra few dollars"
So true! Also important to know what is a good fit can change...there are women who will routinely just buy a 34C every time they buy new bras...for decades! Well, it is quite possible that their size has changed even just a bit over those decades
And yes, bands on new bras are often a bit snug...I don't mind this though as once broken in I often find myself sewing in elastic or ribbon to the band to tighten things back up again, ha.
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So fun! Thanks, ladies!
When I realized that my actual measurement around my rib cage was 28.5 inches and I had been wearing a 34 band for most of my life … that's ridiculous!
What other clothing item do we wear something that is several inches bigger than our measurement? Nothing. That's crazy! I second how comfortable a well-fitted bra can be. Before I was properly fitted, my bra straps fell down all the time and the band was always riding up. Totally worth a few extra dollars to get something that FITS and is good quality.
Such a fun and informative discussion.
Thanks!
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The Wacoal fitter told me lots of other things I didn't know. She said that a bra should "tack" in the front...be right up against your chest at midline but that is usually only a possibility with underwires. So she said if you don't wear underwire bras, you should find a wireless that "tacks" as closely as possible. (Boy, she should have seen me with my pre-mastectomy gi-normous FF's. Tack? Are you kidding? The whole bra just kind of perched on the ends of my girls. I was truly "tack-less".
)Another thing I learned is that you should always buy a bra that feels snug on the last hooks at the end of the band, not the first ones, closest to the cups. She said that even good and expensive bras stretch out after wearing and washing. You should go back to the middle hooks after a couple of months. When you get to the first set of hooks, it's time to buy another bra. #olddog #newtricks
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I had my exchange 2/14/14 and my PS told me to get a good underwire and push them up...he said "I don't want them smooshed up in a sports bra". The lady at the specialty boutique was in shock and said they didn't even carry underwire. I think he wants this just during the capsule forming stage...not sure but there is not a Nordstrom around me...Dillard's is the closest thing I can think of. I'm clueless as to size as well so any suggestions where I could start? I thought about having the shop measure me then I could shop elsewhere but I hate size discrepancies that I used to run in to. Maybe now that I have perky, mostly round breasts that won't be an issue???
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You know - wouldn't it be great if a manufacturer or two actually started designing bras SPECIFICALLY for reconstruction patients that combine the appropriate levels of cup width and depth (or lack thereof)? I'm starting to wonder why in the world we still have to struggle so badly to find bras after this journey. There certainly are enough of us out there that some enterprising soul could make a ton of cash with this idea!
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Romyles, someone said Soma shops also measure for bras. Maybe you could look into this?
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My PS says wear a bra if I want to, but if I do, do NOT wear an underwire. He says if I'm exercising I should wear a good sports bra. Otherwise, it's up to me. I asked him for studies on how bras helped after surgery and he said there was none. It's a personal preference by the doctor, not a rule you must follow in order to have the best outcome. Doctors are very different in what they say and it makes you feel like if you don't follow his "rules" your breast surgery will fail. Apparently not so.
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I went shopping the other day for a bra to wear when I'm done with the 24/7 sports bra post exchange. It was so depressing! I did not have a fitting, tried to do it myself, but had no clue as to what size to start with. I tried on dozens of bras, underwire, soft cup, etc. Nothing fit. The cups were either too narrow, or if the width was right then the cups would have too much material and didn't fill out. What made it even more challenging is that I have one reconstructed breast with implant and one that had a reduction, so they have different shapes from one another. I finally ended up with a Bali bra that is really stretchy and comes in S, M, L, and XL sizes instead of cup sizes. It'll work for a while while my breasts are still morphing and changing in the next few months. Then, I'll probably go and be fit somewhere.
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Sweet & Special, looks like someone beat you to it? Let Mystere No. 9 claims to be designed for implants.
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whitenack...that bra is for post-breast augmentation....there is a big difference between an implant augmented breast and an implant reconctructed breast for all the reasons sweetandspecial pointed out, especially in respect to cup depth (related to projection of breast). This is even more apparent in women who have not had nipple sparing procedures which many cancer patients cannot have. Augmented breasts have the benefit of their natural breast tissues to maintain (and actually increase) projection of breast which is the opposite issue, though they may have to deal with wider breasts at the base like with reconstructed breasts.
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Hi, hope everyone is buying their favorite bra. Has anyone tried the Jockey bra with the Fit kit from the TV commercial? I was thinking of trying that. I have a sports bra but the store didn't order anymore of them. guess I could order online but wanted something better.
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Monis - Bali stretch bras are what I wear and they are exceptionally comfortable
. I'm putting off the bra fitting and shopping experience until after my next procedure (mudflapectomy). I do, I do , I do want to get back into pretty, sexy, colorful, preferably underwire bras! But I figure I may as well be patient for a little while longer.....sigh0 -
romyles - It seems strange to me that a specialty bra shop doesn't carry underwires. I live in a rural area but I googled 'specialty bra shop' with the nearest city by me and I came up with several that are a couple of hours away.
Why we talk so much about Nordstrom's on this thread is because they have specially trained fitters who have the knowledge/experience to fit reconstructed breasts. You need to ask for one but they are specially trained to help women who have reconstructed breasts, not augmented breasts, which as mentioned above is a whole different ball game. They also will help you with insurance billing. Yes, some insurance policies will pay for bras.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/bra-fit-specialists
If you do go to Nordstroms for a fitting, call ahead and asked for a certified fitter. Like I said, they have training to help women like us and our needs. My nearest Nordstrom is two and a half hours away and I've gone up there numerous times (all of my doctors are up there too). Make a day of it. It is well worth your time. You'll get an idea of what works and doesn't work. There is no better way of knowing what is going to work for you than having someone with experience to talk to, ask question and try on bras. Lots of trying on of bras.
It's worth it.
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I've also have a good experience at my local Dillards. So, try your local mall too.
The basis for starting to find a well-fit bra is knowing your band size.
Take a soft tape measure and measure right under your breasts or your foobs (the IMF). Take that measurement and add 2 (absolutely no more than 4 inches) to that measurement and that is your band size. For example, my measurement around my IMF is 28 inches. I add two inches and 30 is my band size. Most of us were wearing a far too big band size before breast cancer so this is probably going to be smaller than what you were wearing. Before BC, I wore a 34B. Now, I wear a 30D. If your band size goes down, then your cup size will go up. The problem is … it is difficult to find band sizes in department stores that are a 32 or smaller yet that may be what you need. That's why it is important to go to a bra shop (not VS) to accommodate an appropriate band size. The underwire should never rest on the implant or impinge on it in anyway. It should hug the hug implant not rest on it. That's why many of us need a bigger cup size … we need it for the width (not for projection). It's completely normal with reconstructed breasts to have room at the end of the cup. That's normal … we no longer have an areola complex.
Here's a helpful video on why band size is important:
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Dawn I am glad you mentioned that sometimes we have room on the cup I do get that in some bras but its a minimal amount at the tip and not visible at all if its a molded cup. The unlined cups tend to pucker too much on me.
I am a bra fitter at Soma we do bra fits with a special tape measure so we don't have to add anything or do any math lol. But before we had those the rule was to add 4 inches to your rib cage measure if its an even number and 5 if its an odd number unless its 40 or above then you just use that number. it seemed to work really well for me. My rib cage is 32 inches and 36D fits perfect. I have tried 34DD and its too tight and I pop out of a 38C. That said some of the demi cups I use a DD. Perhaps that only works at soma I don't know. We don't carry anything below 32 so perhaps the rule is different in the smaller sizes.
Soma doesn't have reconstruction "specialists" but since so many women have had it most of us get a lot of experience with it. Many times they defer customers to me just because many women feel more comfy with someone with the same issues. But they are all qualified to do it if they have worked there a while. I'd say I see at least one woman with breast cancer of some kind every shift I work.
The bottom line no matter what kind of breasts you have finding a good fitting bra is sometimes a process of trying a lot of styles on until one looks and feels great.
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Thanks for the replies regarding how long to wait after the exchange to start trying on bras. Let me ask a related subject. What about bathing suits?
We have a trip to the beach planned 10 weeks after her exchange. She is going to be a different size than she was before the PBM, so none of her tops will work. I guess the best thing to do is wait until a week or two before the trip and do the shopping then? Right now her expanders are the size she wants to keep, but I assume the implants will sit differently than the TEs (although the TEs look pretty natural right now) and trying on suits right now won't do much good?
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Carrol2...for smaller ribcages, the recommendation is usually to add 2" if an even number, 3" if odd. So if I measured 29", I would go to a 32 Band. If I measured 30, I would go to the 32 Band. But, of course, every body varies too. I am actually 29.5" and wear a 32 band. I always start on largest hook and tighten it as the elastic loosens. A 34 is way too big for me...not supportive enough therego uncomfortable as well.
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Whitenack, the other thing to also keep in mind: swim suits can not always be returned (in some areas, in some stores) so if a big enough change occurs (and not just size but design cut to hide the stitches - depending on style) between TE's and exchange, you may be stuck with something unsuitable (no pun intended).
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Whitenack,
I would wait. You might actually be surprised though. After my exchange I tried on old suits. One I had gotten on clearance and had never worn because it just looked weird/lumpy in the top. Well!!! Va-va-voom!! It fit very well after exchange! Too well for my shy personality. Lol!!
Another idea, though. If your wife finds that she loves a bra brand like Freya she can get suits in same sizes. I ordered a tankini suit top from the website Herroom and wore it with the black bottoms from my previous suit. It is a beautiful suit top and fit the same as the same brand bra. And they have a great return policy.
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I saw my PS yesterday for a pre-op appointment and learned I will have to wear a bra after my next surgery. Not just in the hospital like the previous three surgeries, but for an unspecified time after, at least a couple of months. <sigh> I have so enjoyed the six months of no-bra freedom after being trussed up like a chicken for the previous 53 years. The procedure I'll be having on one side during this next surgery is going to require some strong support until it heals. I'll finally be wearing that Wacoal bra I bought last week. I must have had a premonition. Now I'm on eBay looking for more Wacoals at a reduced price. They are damned expensive otherwise.
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sandra,
I got one on ebay already and once I'm done babying my new nipples I'll be hunting for more. Happy hunting! And watch out for low pricing bait with high shipping cost!
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I am about 4-1/2 weeks post-mastectomy and reconstruction. I have two more "fills" to go with my temporary implants. When I asked my PS about what type of bra I should get, he laughed and said I wouldn't need one. I'm sorry, but I am just not comfortable going without, especially when at work and the like. (I plan to go back to work next week - I am out an extra week or so because I had additional surgery last week to have my fallopian tubes and ovaries removed.) I do have a camisole with shelf support, but I would rather have a comfortable, proper-fitting bra to wear as well.
Any suggestions???
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I am back to work next week as well and my PS said to wear whatever was comfortable or not. I have been wearing camis without the shelf. My TEs are too wide to fit comfortably in a shelf bra, even. I can sort of fit into my old sport bras but will probably just go with a cami. I would be interested in other options, too.
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Ladies - you'll find many, many recommendations if you read back through this thread. There are links and style numbers and stores. But you'll also find that most women say it will take LOTS of trying on to find what fits "the new you" and everyone of us is different. Since things continue to change for some time after final exchange, the wisdom is - don't spend a lot until everything has settled. Sounds like both of are still at the TE stage, so you need interim solutions. Good luck trying and don't get discouraged.
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Brdrcol and Mmtagirl, I'm a little farther into the process than you are. I had my BMX and permanent implants in late August, lost one implant and got a TE two weeks later, and had my exchange to a new kind of implant on both sides three months ago in December. My plastic surgeon feels the same way as yours. (Except for the early days after surgery when you have bandages & drains and wear a surgical bra.) Brdrcol, unless you are keeping your nipples, you absolutely cannot tell that you don't have a bra on, even in the sheerest or tightest tops. I'm 65 and have enjoyed not wearing a bra for the first time in 52 years! You will look great in clothes. Since I have "Barbie boobs" now, I can do it, but wouldn't if I had nipples. Your new body will not bounce or move around so it doesn't look like it used to if you go braless. It just looks like you have a snug minimizer bra on all the time. If you aren't comfortable with the idea, of course you shouldn't go braless. For the TE phase, buy something cheap and stretchy. Even most docs who say you don't have to wear a bra if you don't want to will agree that if you are running, jogging, or exercising, you should wear a sports bra. I'm about to have another surgery and was told that after this one I WILL need to have a bra, at least for awhile during the healing phase, but he said no underwires. I investigated, tried on a bunch, and am now ready.
I took the advice of the women here and went to Dillards (Macy's and Nordstrom's are other options) to look for Wacoal Bras. The Wacoal rep was there that day. She measured me correctly and helped me find something I could wear. It wasn't easy because implants are not shaped the same as a natural breasts and don't fill out the cups on many of the styles. In the end I found three Wacoal styles that will work for me and bought one. (They are expensive, $65.) If you try on Wacoal, try style 85567 which comes in soft cup or underwire and 85276 soft cup. I tried on, but didn't buy, several underwires that fit well: 855192, 853255, and 953292. I also found a less expensive Dillard's Modern Movement brand, Y22BM333 Hidden Comfort soft cup, for $38. When I got home, I went on eBay and found several listings for Wacoal styles that fit, new, for $20-$25. So now I have four and am ready to return to "bra world", hopefully not forever.
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If you're still in the TE phase … DO NOT wear an underwire. Your skin, tissue, muscle is being stretched and it isn't wise at that stage to even consider wearing an underwire.
Most of us at that stage wore a cami, a cami with a shelf bra or a zip or button up the front sports bra or nothing at all.
My TE's were too odd shaped and it hurt to badly to even try to fit into a soft cup bra. I spent my entire TE phase wearing a cami with a shelf bra.
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Freya Arabella http://www.herroom.com/freya-aa5721-arabella-unde...
has long been a favorite for several of us … a non-padded encapsulating bra that is good right after your exchange and beyond. Just noticed tonight that it is being discontinued.
Makes me sad. Get it while you still can if you like her …
Edited to add: For whatever reason the link isn't working. I'll try it again.
http://www.herroom.com/freya-aa5721-arabella-under...
If it doesn't work. Go to the her room site here: http://www.herroom.com
and put in "Freya Arabella" in the search line
Bareneccesities has it too … but it's a couple of dollars more:
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