Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
Comments
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thanks for all the help, ladies. I will stick with my camis until after exchange when I know what size I will really be. Agree with you, way too lumpy and misshapen now!
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mmtagirl,
Here's another option. The Genie Bra. I got mine from Bed Bath Beyond with a 20% off coupon. You can pull them over your head or step into them. What I really liked were the optional foam inserts...they helped smooth out my TE lumpiness and scar ditches. The ones with lace trim are prettier but not as supportive or good with coverage.
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thanks, will take a look, Dulcigirl. I have seen them at BBB before but would never have dreamed of wearing anything that wasn't full support prior to all this!
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Thanks, all, for the suggestions. I will not jump in to major purchasing until I get my permanent implants for sure! If I get anything, I think I will go for one of the soft, stretchy types (that also don't cost much). As mentioned, I also do have one cami with a shelf bra, plus I have some other camis that I can wear.
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I just had my exchange very unhappy, right now he has me in this awful compression bra which I look like I am completely boobless in clothing unless I wear extremely tight clothing. Anyway I asked when I could wear a bra he said never. He left most of my nipples so they are completely uneven and yo can see them in cloths all you girls seem to eventually be able to wear bras.
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Savedbygod - Did he give you a reason as to why you could never wear a bra?
Sorry you are having such a tough time with your recon
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He said underwire will damage implant by digging and others will force a cone shape on implant. I am currently measuring a 32c not full in one breast full in other and I have been 32dd or ddd my whole life, I am beside myself, I feel unfeminine.
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I can't even wear my prosesis (cant spell it) from when I had my lumpectomy to even them out because they are so flat they dont fill the center of it.
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Saved,
Is it possible he just wanted you not to wear underwires? There are PSs who have said that to some/many of the ladies here. Also, Have you read the Exchange thread enough to see that it takes us all many weeks to have the implants settle into the pockets? It's fondly known as "drop and fluff." When that happens (mine took 3 months for all swelling to go down and things to finally look the way they've remained)...anyway, when they drop and fluff they feel softer and often look more full and rounded. It is so hard to be patient, but they do change. Don't give up and don't get discouraged without giving them some time.
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Savedbygod - Did you have one MX or two? It sounds like you had a nipple sparing MX?
1) Very few of us were happy right after our exchange. Give it time. Most of us were wearing a compression right after the exchange as well. That isn't unusual.
2) Did you/do you have healing issues? That could be one reason why your PS has recommended no underwire.
3) Several of us were recommended by our P.S. to not wear an underwire for 3-6 months after our exchange. Like it says in the header, Plastic surgeon's are all over the place on their recommendation of bras post-reconstruction.
4) If a good, properly fitted underwire is worn it will only help the implant settle, not make it worse. Plastic surgeons can be great at what they do and what they know but don't know very much about bras which sounds may be the issue here.
Have you visited the thread, "Exchange City"? That's a great thread for women pre and post exchange to discuss their fears, their issues … know you're not alone in your disappointment … many of us were disappointed right after our exchange and experienced 'the blues.' It is not uncommon. You are not alone.
Keep wearing that compression bra and know that what you like look now is not what you will see in 3 months. You will experience lots of changes as the implant(s) settle and drop over the weeks and months ahead.
Here is a link to "exchange city"
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Dulcigirl - Posted while I was writing my post..… thank you.
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thank u girls yes double mastectomy nipple sparing though on side with cancer had lumpectomy and they removed a part of my areola during mastectomy I have implant that dont really fluff much I have read it all been going crazy I sent whippetmom pics she gave me some referral s one breast is an entire size smalller is that normal
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Savedbygod - What is 'normal' in this journey?
You are in good hands with whippetmom. It is not common to have two different sizes but depending on your body and your ribcage … it might be normal for you … might not but whippetmom can help you and she will know.
Hugs to you.
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thanks no not normal for me, I will be letting u guys know what new surgeon says thanks for ur info
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please do keep us posted.
Again, whippetmom is amazing and she will help you.
Again, hugs to you.
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Following all the great advice and recommendations, I ordered some non-underwire bras from Amazon (still at the TE phase). I got 2 of the Bali comfort revolution padded (3488) and one non padded (3484). The padded ones are great as they even out some of the lumpiness and asymmetry from my TE. I am still wearing the chicken fillets (silicon prosthesis) so I look more like the pre-mastectomy size at work and it's not too bad. Can't wear all my wrap dresses and lowish cut v-neck tops but look good in higher necked clothes.
Thanks for all the great info. It has been a huge help.
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God bless Bali! Those bras (especially the 3488) has been a lifesaver for me! I've been wearing them for over a year now. Last week I finally got to a Nordstroms. The girl there measured me at 36D (wore 38B before which I'm sure was the wrong size). I bought 3 bras that seemed to fit really well....2 Wacoal and 1 Chantelle. My problem all along has been scar tissue where my drains were that hurts when pressed by underwire. I've been massaging that area for a few months and it seems to have worked as that area doesn't hurt anymore so that problem gone. My other bra problem is that the bras rub (or at least feel like they are rubbing) under my armpit on my UMX side. The girl at Nordstrom put me in contour bras that have the straps sitting more toward the center and they felt really good. Now that I'm home with them and wearing them for extended time (she said to do this before I took off tags and washed), they still seem to be rubbing. I don't know if my MX side is actually more sensitive due to lymph node removal or if it is truly rubbing because my shape on that side is now different due to the implant or if it's all in my head! I really want a pretty underwire bra to finally work for me! Has anyone had this issue and what types of bras did you find worked best? The Bali 3488 is the one I wear and I know it's a bit softer and cut a little lower. Any similar underwires? Thanks everyone!
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Hello, I just went for a second opinion to a doctor referred by someone
on our boards, I decided to change to him....He was very sweet and
understanding, unfortunately for the best outcome on fixing what the
first PS since he cut off all my original excess skin, I will not able
to be my original size but I will have a better symetry. He says in
order to go as close to my size I want and to help fix the shape, I
should redo the expander portion. He also wants to put in different
implants which I actually got to see, he says he will have many
different ones in surgery on hand to acheive the best outcome.
Whippetmom, can you give me some ideas on what you think as options so I
can have a better understanding on having the best outcome. Here I go
again, yuk twice over but at least I will look more normal, and be able
to wear clothes without trying to manipulate everything.0 -
Savedbygod - You need to post your question to whippetmom on her thread … you've posted on the bra thread.
I am happy that your getting some help and have a PS that can help you. That's great news! Keep us posted.
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lala1 - I'm glad you had such a great experience at Nordstorms although it doesn't sound like the bras are ultimately going to work for you.
Two brands come to mind: LeMystere and Natori. Have you tried those brands yet? I've never worn the Bali bra that you are talking about … so I looked it up … it reminds me of some of LeMystere and Natori bras. And maybe an underwire just isn't going to work for your body right now?
I do know that it took me about a year to find a brand and a style that worked for me. Even now, 3.5 years from my exchange surgery, I cannot wear certain brands … they just don't work for me.
Here are some:
http://www.herroom.com/le-mystere-9955-dream-tisha…
http://www.herroom.com/le-mystere-965-dream-tisha-...
http://www.herroom.com/natori-136001-body-doubles-...
http://www.herroom.com/natori-730023-feathers-cont...
Here is a Natori non-underwire:
http://www.herroom.com/natori-139056-cool-full-fit…
It sounds like you had a great, knowledgeable fitter. If those bras end up not working, when you take them back, have another go and see if she can get you in something else. I ended up having 4 fittings at Nordstrom and 3 at a local specialty bra shop before I ultimately found something that worked. Don't give up.
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Previvor101- Yay! Glad you found something that is helping you!
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Went bra shopping today. Macy's and Victoria's Secret. Love my bras!
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I know how you feel Headeast, I haven't got lace or polka- dots yet but feel like I am getting there. Wore it to work today without chicken fillets and felt good!
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Dawne-Hope--Thanks for the words of advice and encouragement. Much needed, especially after the last few days!
As previously posted, I had the infamous Nordstroms fitting last Fri, then today, given the opportunity, I had a fitting at Macy's, Victoria's Secret and at Dillards. Macy's girl had decent knowledge. Measured me at 36D, same as Nordstrom and sold me a Wacoal Pure Couture which seems to be quite comfy (won't know till I've worn it a few hours!) The VS girl wasn't too knowledgeable but was able to find one comfy bra that might actually work(also won't know till I've worn it a few hours!). She measured me at 36D, the same as Nordstroms.
Then I strolled down to Dillards. Got a lady there that locals refer to as "bra whisperer". She was quite a trip....didn't think twice about sticking her hand down my bra and moving the old tissue around. Don't get me wrong, I ain't shy about this stuff anymore and I appreciate those types more than the VS shy little girl who was afraid to see my scars. But this lady at Dillards measured me at 34DDD!!!! What?! She put me in the Wacoal Pure Contour which I had previously gotten at Macy'sin the 36D 30 min. earlier (I didn't share all previous experiences with her to see what she'd come up with) and thought to be the most comfortable of all. I eventually told her that I already had bought one of these Wacoals in 36D and why was she going with 34DDD. (All had measured my band at 34). She said Dillards doesn't add inches to rib cage meaurement and that was what I measured out to be. I have this bra on now. It's not very comfy. It cuts into my arm which she said I'd get used to. She put me in a tight white tee and va-voom out pops these DDDs! I have to say, it made me look 10 pounds lighter and more curvy. But when I look down, my boobs are out to the side...I can basically put my hand between them in the cleavage. I don't have any gapping or extra cup space and it definitely completely encapsualtes my implant. But the bigger cup means it cuts more into my arm and bothers me. I feel the 36D fits about the same (I know, how could that be?) and it doesn't cut into the arm but she showed me how when my "tissue" was pulled in and upwards I had a tiny bit of spillage and that means it didn't fit right.
So.....now that I've totally bored everyone...who's right? and how do you know? I'd rather not wear a bra that's not comfortable but I also want to wear the right one. And in the header, it is mentioned that ideally you want your implants moved more toward the middle rather than the outside. She says you want shape on the outside because it naturally balances your hips and makes you look thinner. I, obviously, like the thinner idea but feel really odd when I look down and my boobs are off to the side when all along I thought cleavage was more desirable.
Thanks for any ideas and advice. A week from today will be one year since my implant was put in. I have tried on, bought, worn and/or returned about 200 bras since then and this epic quest to find a cute bra is about to kill me!! It's taken longer to find a bra than it did to find and treat my BC!!
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lala1....the 36D and 34DDD are really only about a cup size difference...if a 36D truly fits you, than a 34DD would be your "sister size". So it is not that surprising they almost fit the same...though there is still a cup size difference in the end...did the Dillard's lady have you try on a 34DD too?
Some fitters (more traditional ones usually) do go up 4-5" from your rib measurement to band size, others only 2-3" (I find only going up 2.5" works best for me..from 29.5" to a 32 band) so that itself is not unusual. I find women tend to also have their own preferences...but it is important to keep in mind the band does do most of the work though so it should feel snug but not tight (try sliding a couple fingers between band and your body, you should be able to still do this but you should not be able to fit your entire hand in there!).
She is also right that it is important to get ALL the tissue in the cup and there should not be spillage. Spillage indicates the wrong size cups. With my native breasts, I have been told (many times) the correct way to put on my bra is to bend forward and ease my breasts in the cups, then gather all the tissue into the cups - including the stuff that escapes underarms, etc. This can take a bit of manipulating. HOWEVER....as this thread shows...implants do not work quite the same as they are wider and not so "squishable" as your native breasts! Bra fitting them is a bit of a different ballgame.
As for shaping...my understanding is you want the implanted breast to be encapsulated and supported...this includes being stabilized laterally, without really pushing them in or out either way as either can damage the pocket. Just because your breasts are sitting more to side does not necessarily mean they are being pushed out to the sides. How your breasts ultimately best "sit" depends so much on your own body anatomy and so on and how your breasts sit on your chest (and the separation between them). This link on herroom talks about breast separation:http://www.herroom.com/breast-separation,333,30.html.
I understand you are a uni? So this may make fitting even more of a challenge. Are you on the picture forum? It might be worth it to post a picture of yourself in both bra sizes and someone there can give some input. It might be the 34DDD is not the right size...or the right style and you need a different cup shape or something.
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Thanks, DiveCat. I posted my pictures on the Post Your Bra picture forum. But now having looked at my pictures, I think I have a pretty good idea on which ones work better for me!! Would love some good advice ladies!!
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I didn't know there was such a thing as a Post Your Bra pic forum! Awesome! This must be where you go when you're all done... hope to be there someday!
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I just posted a response...note it comes from being passionate about proper fitting bras, not any actual expertise! Ha ha. But it might be a starting point at least?
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OMG...I asked the PS today about underwire versus non...I am 9 months from exchange. He told me he does not care and that I should do what is most comfortable. I asked about braless since I like doing that now days. He said it is fine and that there is a lot of conflicting info on the net. Best PS in my state....so I am going with his advice.
He said underwires can sometimes cut into the implant, and since we are number we might not feel it. And that regular bras do not make a difference in how the implants settle.
Just one man's opinion, but I think I will go with it and go naked from now on. Except when running or exercising.0 -
Not me,
My PS agrees with yours. I asked him to show me some research on how bras help after breast cancer reconstruction. He said there is no research or proof that it helps UNLESS you are running or doing something else that jolts or bounces your body continuously. Then he wants patients in a sports bra to prevent the bouncing. Apparently there is some literature about a benefit after augmentation (boob jobs) but not reconstruction. That being said, he said if wearing one made me feel better, I should do it as long as I don't wear an underwire. So I'm au natural and loving the freedom. Unfortunately after my next surgery I WILL have to wear a bra for awhile. I'm having surgery #4 on my left side. The tissue has been through too much and was thin to begin with. The pocket is failing. We are trying repairs and another row of sutures so that side can have no stress on it until it's healed internally. I don't mind. There's a reason for it.
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