August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Ladies - returned from the surgeon a little while ago. Basically I haven't eaten nor slept in like 24 hours. It's horrendous what anxiety can do! I came home and actually ate dinner. Anyway, it's definitely a lymph node. She is not overly concerned, as she says it's possible to have these "normally" (it's .8mm on the ultrasound.) She read the u/s results and said the only way to know for sure is to take the whole thing out. It's too small to biopsy. So Friday I have to have surgery, general anesthesia.....blah blah...it's becoming routine now! Anyhow, so we'll know next week.
Thanks for the prayers- I got a prescription for xanax so I'm hoping to sleep tonight. I said to the surgeon as i was leaving that THIS is the worst part. Not the chemo, not the surgery, not the recovery. THIS - the anxiety and fear.....and stress. THAT is what truly is horrendous for me. The other stuff was "easy" in comparison! My stomach has been in knots and I spent the night shaking uncontrollably last night just thinking about having a distant recurrence.
I pray it's not - God is faithful no matter what happens, but I had almost a "shock" reaction and just couldn't calm down.
By next week we'll know.0 -
Cal - Did you just have your port removed? Was it on that side?0
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Calamaity- you are def in my prayers, my lymph node (well ne of them) was almost 2cm big (def cancer in it- biopsy saod positive) Anyhow i am trying to make ya feel better in the fact that .8mm is a baby compared to my honker LOL
Def try to get some sleep
Sptmm62- wii fit is def fun! but for exercise i prefer jenny mcarthy's Your Shape- one is cheaper (less than 30 at walmart- because it doesnt use a balance board) and 2 you DO get a work out, i've lost 4 pounds since starting it (and watching what i stick in my mouth)
zenith- yeah since stopping my mindless snacking i've noticed too how much ppl eat on tv, or commercials for food! i get so HUNGRY! lol
Lizzy- thanks i was thinking of you too, well i think of all of you when i am away from the computer
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Lady: I'm with you on needing to make the silicone vs saline decision. I found a few short threads here, but not a whole lot of info. I found a few links posted too ... kind of wish I hadn't found that. Oh well.
Liz: I'm glad your wound is looking good! Stay warm.
Lil: I turned red with rads and that is it. But I only had about 1/3 of it radiated.
Cal: I like that your surgeon is not overly concerned. I hope you get some sleep. I'll keep praying.
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Calam: Glad you are a little more relaxed and I will definitely keep you in my prayers and hope that next week brings more good news. Again, though try not to worry. I have an intramammory lymph node very near where my cancer was that they found on the breast ultrasound done before rads. They said it was 7 mm, which is small, so they were not concerned. Basically they are just going to watch and make sure it doesn't get bigger. Have to go back for another ultrasound in April, and they also checked its size when I had the breast MRI last week. I am pretty sure they know when to be worried and when not, at least in my experience. When I found my lump, looking back at it, I think I was the only one who didn't know it was cancer right from the get go. Reflecting back on the doctor's reactions I think they were pretty sure right away that something was wrong. Hopefully you sleep a little better tonight.
Texas: I will check out that Jenny McCarthy Your Shape, thanks!
Lizzy: Snowblower huh.....good investment this winter! I remove my snow the old fashion way....send Taylor, Kieran, and RyanAnn outside to shovel!!! And I remind them that the one thing the breast surgeon told me absolutely not to do is shovel snow!! Don't want to get lymphedema, so I will stay in and make them breakfast! Glad to hear your wound is healing well.
Libralil: My breast is a little firmer after the radiation, but I really haven't noticed a difference in appearance. I have to tell you though, towards the end of radiation I thought it was definitely going to look mutated and horrible. But now three weeks out the skin is healing and it is looking much better, again just a little firmer than it was before.
Good night everyone!!
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Good evening chemosabes and radicals:
I hope everyone is doing well this evening.
Calamtykel: when we refer to swollen glands in our neck when sick it is actually incorrect. The glands in our neck are actually nodes. Nodes are designed to filter out junk, as we all know. There are so many reasons this could be swollen. It is on the unaffected side, correct? Meaning on the side where you did not have bc, right? It is the waiting that sucks. It really is. I say thank God for Xanax because I could never take this crap in stride. I am glad you got it so you can sleep until this is over. I guess each time we develop more tools and an ability to deal with this poking, prodding and testing every anomaly seemingly into perpetuity. It is our collective new reality. For instance, I used to hate going to the dentist but I have the best dentist, going on 12 years now, and I love going. He puts me at ease and no matter what is going on with my chops, I trust he can handle it, will entertain me while I am there and I will feel nothing! I am no longer bothered by going to the dentist. Eventually, I am sure, I will have the same feeling about going to all the bc docs. The news might not be good but hopefully their professionalism and talent will put me at ease. I certainly wish you the best.
Libraylil: I thought the lumpectomy would cause some moderate change in the appearance of the breast. I think the only think rads does is dry out the skin a bit so the appearance may change a bit more. That was how it was explained to me when they talked about lumpectomy with the subsequent requirement of rads if I went in that direction.
Sptmm: I just got a small snowblower. I did not want to deal with the big ones between the shaking from the size of the machine and being out in the cold = no way! I just wanted a small one for quick clean up after the plow clean up. I did not know that we could not shovel after surgery for fear it might cause LE? I still like to lift weights and can't imagine why shoveling is off the menu relative to potentially causing LE. In any case, if it is a story you made up to get the kids shoveling, kudos!
Jarvier Bardem is on Conan....I must tune in!!!
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libraylil - My mom said that her breast shrunk after her lump and rads. She had it 13 years ago. I asked my RO about that and he said that is a very rare occurrance nowadays. I think it has something to do with her incision for the lump, too. Hers is vertical (from the floor to her head) while mine is horizontal (from the nipple back towards my armpit). At least I hope so. I think my breast is a little bit swollen now after 5 weeks of rads. I hope there is no other changes!
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Calamity praying for your health and peace of mind, sweet dreams.
Ginger
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Side: The LN is actually on the affected side, not the port side. That is what scared me - that cells can travel along the breast nodes path and the supraclavical nodes are part of that path! If it were in my neck I would have been less concerned actually. I'm still worried but now we have a game plan......
I just got in from shoveling. Woke up around 2 and had a snow migraine ( a regular occurrence for me when we get a storm!) and I went out and shoveled. We have about 8" on the ground. I'm warmed up and I think ready to go back to sleep now!
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Texas -- I can't remember- did you have your surgery yet? If not, did your chemo shrink your 2cm lymph node at all? Just wonder if they shrink on chemo when it's done before surgery.0
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Morning everyone!
On the lymphedema: I was told unequivocally by the breast specialist, not to lift anything more than 5-10 pounds with the affected arm. And no shoveling as it involves both arms and heavy lifting. This was reinforced by the radiation oncologist, because I also had radiation to the axilla which increases my risk of lymphedema over just the axillary node dissection.
My kids shoveled me out and I am at work. Snow has stopped, so it should be easier getting home than it was getting here!
Hope everyone has a great day!
Debbi
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Debbi -- I try not to lift when I shovel. I just push the snow, walking back and forth. Our driveway is flat and very wide, so this is easy to do.
I actually asked my breast surgeon about restrictions and she said that there is really no proof either way regarding activities and lymphedema (there is as far as injury however, to the arm, bites, infection and such). However it is always best to be safe rather than sorry.
I plan on doing some weight lifting though - as I found this article a while back http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/news/News_Releases/2010/12/weight-lifting-prevents-lymphedema/This is a new study and indicates that there was a 70% reduction in women with multiple nodes removed........
Of course this isn't bench pressing, but moderate weight lifting, probably in conjuction with a decent workout routine.I'll post some phots of our snow if I can - it's pretty even if it's a pain! Trying to not think about the whole lymph node thing today and just pray when I do- but I have my xanax as backup if I start to fall apart!
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LISA I know I'm probably still swollen, but I think it looks pretty dadgum good. Maybe he just wanted to prepare me in case. Anyway, at my appt before the surgery the surgeon was planning on a crescent shaped incision on top,(like most that I have seen before). When I could get to the mirror, my incision is just as you described. From the nip to the armpit. The nip is still working too. I asked about the incision and he said it because of the location of the wire localization. Anyway, you are the first person I've found with an incision like this. He told me several times that I might have a dimple in the breast and it might be higher that the other one. My oncologist told me before the surgery that he would be honest with me and this BS has excellent esthetic results. I just want them to call me today (NC is shut down and evidently the healthcare industry halted for the snow). I want to hear clean margins, happy tales, etc. Libray lil0
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I am rooting for good news libraylil! After my lumpectomy my breast looked almost exactly the same size as before. Once the swelling went down it is now a bit smaller than the other but the shape is very similar to what it was before surgery. I have an incision over the lump since mine was pretty easy to find.0
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Calam: Thanks for the link, I will have to read that when I get home. I have been wondering about how much I really could do, and how much they just try to scare you so you don't overdo it. I have been trying to follow their instructions carefully as I am really worried about developing lymphedema, especially after radiating the axilla. But truthfully, I get frustrated sometimes with the restrictions.
The snow is pretty, until you have to go anywhere in it, LOL!
Libralil: Hope they call with good news!
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Libraylil - I hope you get good news! Waiting for those results can be hell.
Calamtykel - Hoping the same thing for you. So sorry you have to go through this all again.
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Debbie- me too. But I do know one thing, and that is the times when I do NOT do my exercises, that is when the cording sets back in for me and the more limited mobility. If I do my running each day and my stretches and wii fit and such, I don't have the stiffness that eventually becomes pain in my chest, arm, etc. If I take a break for even two days, I have trouble getting that arm all the way up as much as on the other side. So I think the increased circulation and muscle movement is a good thing!0
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Hi all. I'm just back from my 3 weeks post rads visit with my RO. I am still red (better, but still red) and apparently I should not be so he prescribed antibiotics and also wants me to take an anti-inflamatory for a week and then I go back to see what is up. He has decided on a mammo on the cancer side after I've healed from my exchange surgery and then every 6 mos. He said that if the image is worthess then we'd stop the mammos. I want them due to the positive margin after surgery.
I also asked about how sure he was that they got the correct spot w/radiation and he explained that the tumor was really more to the right than where it seemed to be by touch. He showed me a picture of the large area that was radiated and said that they followed the flow of the lymph node and that is why they did so much of my side. I feel much better. I'll still have the fear. Like Texas said, we will always wonder. But at least I know the why behind the what.
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Ann we are all so funny. Don't you love the nanosecond when you totally forget you had BC. Just think last year we were all rolling around with BC in us. As my friend says "At least you have had a full body scan". We know...its gone....our shoe has dropped. I can't wait until I begin to not obssess over whatever. libray lil0
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Cal I'm sorry to hear that you still have to wait for results (and have another surgery, ugh!) but it is good news that the surgeon is not very concerned. I hope you are able to let go of some of that anxiety while you wait for the biopsy and results.
Arm and lymphedema risk I also read about the study that Cal mentioned with the moderate weight lifting reducing lymphedema risk. Based on that I think that including light to moderate weights in a workout routine is fine, so it does make me wonder why shoveling snow would be a no-no. But I say take the excuse to get out of shoveling snow!
Lumpectomy scar Interesting that some of you had horizontal incisions. Mine was vertical and about 2 inches long. I am small-chested and it felt like the tumor was pretty close to the surface so I guess they were able to get to it pretty easily. I haven't had rads yet (still 2 Abraxane treatments to go) but so far all I have noticed is a slight dimple where the incision was.
Librarylil I hope you get good results soon with clean margins. My margins were not clean so I had to go in for a second surgery and it was much easier than the original. They just re-opened the incision on my breast and left the area under my arm alone so no need for another drain or anything like that. The surgery was quick, I think only about 45 min and then I was into recovery and on my way home shortly after. There were still a few rogue cancer cells in the re-excision but my surgeon said to just go on to chemo and that should kill them off. I see my surgeon again next month once chemo is done and he said before that he might do another re-excision after chemo just to make sure there are no more cancer cells floating around in there. I don't really want to do another surgery but I know that is the only way to see if there were any cells left behind.
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Good day chemosabes and radicals-
23 inches of snow!!!!! I cannot believe this. Awful, awful. I can barely open my doors.
Calamtykel: thank you so much for posting that article. I totally believe in weight lifting and I used to body build but not competitively. I was cut but not ripped meaning I was never in the shape to compete...I just had definition. I believe weight lifting helps with so many afflictions. Also muscles are a jacket for our bones and as we get older, especially now with what we all have been through, protecting our bones is paramount. I can't believe that weight lifting could be bad for anything.
As for snow shoveling, if I had 3 kids of snow shoveling age, I would make up any story to get them outside shoveling!
Libraylil: I totally forgot to mention the size of your breasts before lumpectomy has an awful lot to do with what they will look like after the surgery. I was large breasted, non-dense, so a lumpectomy on me was going to really alter the look of my breasts post surgery. If you were on the smaller side with dense breasts, they probably won't look too much different.
Ann97: It is good they are going to go with mammos on the affected side due to your margins but it still kind of sucks that you can't get away from mammos. The implants are a lot more durable than we think so they can definitely withstand mammos.
I am going to try to get some stuff done now that I am snowbound...
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I had lumpectomy--my scar is kind of horizontal--bit slanted to the side. I have bigger breasts and although the right boob is smaller--not really too bad. When I went back to hosp about my bloating from chemo in Dec--the Nurse practitioner said the surgeon did a good job. Originally it looks horrible with scar etc but as it is healing--starting to look better.
Lizzie--went out to the first "healing journey" workshop this AM and was good---teaching you how to relax/meditate etc. Seems like it will be a good workshop.
Can't believe the amount of snow you are all getting--up here in Canada we have only had a couple of snowstorms--today was another--but nothing terrible. Hoping it stays that way!
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Calamity- I have not had surgery yet and YES i actually had 2 lymph nodes that were very prominent- one was 1cm the other 2cm and BOTH you cant feel them at all! That was after the 2nd or 3rd tx that they were undetectable
Ann- Glad to see that they got you on antibiotics- its hard for us to decern what is a norm side effect and what isnt
Lizzy- that is AWFUL! i love snow but 23 inches is way too much!!!!
Rachel- Who offers that workshop? The hospital?
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Thanks Texas! That's what I was wondering - if chemo shrinks nodes. If so, it should have shrunk mine......!? And this would have been bigger to begin with - it should have been scannable...
hope you're all having a good day. I treked off to Trader Joe's today and just got in from running. I need to keep mind and body BUSY until the results are in..........starting to get scared about the surgery....
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We are having another day where the high will be around 20 degrees. I am jealous of Sweeney, off in the islands!!
My latest avatar is a pic of my dogs from Monday. You can barely see the dogs, but it's a good pic of the snow.
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Yes, Sweeney is probably sitting on the beach with a cocktail right now. I am jealous.....freezing my mangled boob off here and knee deep in snow..lol!!
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Lady---Surprised at how cold it is for you--we are minus 11 celsius which is about 12 fahrenheit. For us, it is not too bad--great sunshine today. Crazy weather around the world.
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Rach: Yeah, this weather sucks for Alabama! But we are supposed to get back into the 50s by the weekend. I read yesterday that there is snow in 49 of our 50 states (everywhere but Florida, there is even snow somewhere in Hawaii!) A little Twighlight-zoney, eh?
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No snow here but I'm freezing anyway!
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my surgery's set for tomorrow. It's becoming more "real" and I'm so scared!
I don' tknow when we will know results. I don't want to know them tomorrow - I know that sounds strange.....but I don't think I can handle that all in one day! =:O 0
