August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Hi Lizzy - I am still blaming the tam for messing with my psyche but I'm doing alright. Lot's of work this week so am pretty pooped. We were proofing an article today reading outloud and I nearly dropped off to sleep! I kindof turned my head so they couldn't see that my eyes were closed and I felt that 'off you go' feeling so I opened my eyes quick. I just want to feel good again. Next Tuesday I have to have herceptin and that throws me off for another week. I just have to suck it up.0
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omaz It's funny, I keep thinking of the herceptin as nothing, but after my last treatment I was exhausted the following week. I had alot of nausea last week - thought it was a bug but had no other symptoms. When I called the onc they said herceptin can cause nausea and to take some of my meds from chemo, which worked. Sorry you have to deal with work through all of this.
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Thanks ckptry - I feel like such a whiney baby sometimes. Work is hard when I am tired but I am glad that I have it to keep myself busy. Thanks for saying that the herceptin affects you too, glad I am not the only one!0
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Happy Friday everyone!
Omaz- I get really sleepy at work too. Since coming back I feel like I'm constantly fighting off nap time and trying to hide my memory issues from everyone! It's hard work trying to disguise these layovers from C-Land.:) But without joking- my heart goes out to you, I don't have to do herceptin and going through active treatment like that and working is a very big deal. You have every right to whine when you want to. Especially here!
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Omaz and sweeney I am with you on the sleepiness. I find that I am still not sleeping as well as I used to before diagnosis. I had a lot of trouble sleeping during chemo so I took Ambien every night but I stopped that shortly after my last chemo. I know it can take a little while after stopping a sleeping pill to get back to normal sleep but it has been almost 2 months now since I stopped and I'm still having trouble falling asleep and then waking up more frequently during the night. I think though that part of it is that I am still trying to get my house ready to sell so between the stress of that and the actually staying up late to do things is part of why I am not getting enough sleep right now. But it does make it hard for me to focus at work sometimes when I am feeling so tired!
Today was rads #15, 19 to go - almost halfway done! One of the machines was broken this morning so they were having to tell people to go home and just get their treatment again on Monday. I felt bad for them. I asked my techs about it and they said there is another machine like mine and there is a third machine that is a different type and that is the one that was broken. If mine or the other similar one broke they could try to squeeze everyone in on the working machine but since there is only one of the other type if it is broken they just have to send people home. Anyway, rads seem to be going well so far and my skin is definitely getting pretty pink now but it is not bothering me at all yet so hopefully that will continue!
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i think i forgot to mention on my last herceptin treatment i thought i was going to pass out- my heart was RACING and i just felt off- i thought it might be my nerves cuz i had court right after the treatment but i will see how it goes next time...
Lisa- okay i will share my problems that i am currently having- my vagina (or more like whatever is in there- my uterus or something) feels swollen and its PAINFUL when we've had sex, lube or no lube (oh yeah and i do have slippery stuff it does work well) i am not sure if its the multitude of drugs i am on messing with my downtown or maybe a reaction from the condoms because thats the only form of birthcontrol i use right now. When i first started tamoxofen i started my period and that was over 2 months ago and it has never returned i am not sure if i am "menopausal" or what!
I see my dr on thur and i am def mentioning it to him (no matter how embarrassing a topic it might be)
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I had to get something to help me sleep and so far it has worked. It is all natural Estroven. I sleep a lot better since taking this, I still have nights sweats sometimes but not nearly as often. My sister told me that melatinin works good also.
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Hi Everyone:
Omaz and Sweeney: I am joining the "nap at work crew". I get so tired in the afternoon, I swear one of these days I am actually going to fall asleep sitting in my chair, LOL!! Seriously though, it is rough. While I was going through chemo I expected it, now it is beginning to really bother me, I just can't wait for the day when I have my energy back!
JSW: Great news on the rads..before you know it you will be done!!
Iowa: I have heard melatonin is good. I am still having trouble sleeping, so I think I will try it soon. I am just really afraid of getting dependent on using something to help me sleep, but I am getting desparate I think.
Texas: I hope you told the nurses at your infusion about your heart racing, that sounds scary. Hopefully you are right and it was just anxiety over the court date.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Debbi
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My port is out. It was uneventful, good drugs, sweet DD and DGbaby accompanied me. Today and tonight I am having trouble sleeping, thus I am back up early on Saturday morning.The incision is hurting and hurts more if I lay on either side. I am not a back sleeper so that makes it more difficult.I took the advice of others and took a photo or two of the incision so I can compare if it gets more red. It hurts.
I am eager to feel more normal again. I start Aromadex tomorrow and hope I have few SE's. I go for a Dexa scan in 4 weeks and another check up.
Lizzy you get massages at Yale? Wow that is a big perk. .
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No Debbi- i know i should have mentioned it, but i didnt want to miss the court date! i had orginally filed in nov and she dodged the constable (who delivers the notices) until March, so i didnt want it delayed any further... i will def 100% mention it if it happens again!
Ginger glad to see you posting
good idea with the pictures! You'll be back to normal soon enough!I brought my radiation team a HUGE basket of goodies one of the other moms at my daughters school bakes and sells. They loved it, but i didnt get a piece of anything
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Hi, I just want to share one of my favorite pictures a year before cancer. I was just looking through my pictures and thinking I should put them on a cd to save them and thought I should share my fav. alltime pitures.
My oldest daughters wedding. Me with my 3 daughters. When I looked so happy and healthy, it was such an awesome day !!!0 -
Iowa: great pic, beautiful daughters and those brides maids dresses are nice! I also love your avatar of Tiger...so cute.
Ginger: yes, Yale gives us 3 free complimentary services with our chemo. There is an ecclectic mix of services but b/c of my messy wound and the port area blah blah (I bore myself with this shit!), I will only get massages at Yale because at least they understand. I really can't go to my regular haunt right now. I hope the Arimidex goes well for you.
Tex: I would totally not be embarrassed to talk to the doc about pain etc.. associated with your sex life. It is absolutely imperative if you know it is to do with the meds, reaction to the condoms or that this is what we can expect post-chemo. I don't hesitate to ask anything! I bet I did not have to tell you that!!!!!!!!!!
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Ginger: Congrats on the port removal!!!!
Iowa: What a beautiful family picture!
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LIzzy i am embarassed cuz 1 my dr is male and 2 he is only slightly older than me (in his 30s) LOL i know its silly but i def have some embarassment!
if he was female i wouldnt have any prov
blems (sorry my 5 yr old wants to add all the smilies LOL)Well its off to bed Hope everyones weekend is going well!
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tex do not be embarassed, I promise he has heard it all before. Sexual problems are a common result of the treatments for our type of cancer. Sometimes staff may seem brupt because they don't know how to deal with it, but that is their issue, not yours and if they don't know the answers they can contact colleagues who do. Do they have a social worker there? Sometimes they can refer you to someone who sepcializes in this.
All, I've hit a rough patch, so this is probably all over the place. Don't really have any outside supports and my husband just can't multitask like we do. The kids had bronchitis over spring break. I got mouth sores and had to stop my inhaler b/c the steroids irritated it. Had to go to the dr yesterday, turns out I have asthmatic brochitis and they put me on 40 mg of prednisone for the next 3 days so I'm puffy again. So now the house is a mess, I haven't done grocery shopping and I'm supposed to be resting. I called my younger sister for support and she said I should be more positive; my cancer is in remission (I haven't had any scans so I hope so) and there are women who would love to have that. She said she feels like ten good things could happen to me and I focus on the one bad thing. It really hurt me. I have two kids with special needs, my son is on mutliple meds for severe adhd, I've been home from work since he was a few months old teaching he and my daughter how to eat, rollover, crawl, walk ,talk. We have a second mortage which we took out to take on the school board, thinking we'd get him what he needed and pay it back over time. He had a great school year with the extra services and then I got cancer. We're still doing weekly psychotherapy with him and he is finally worrying less about things. I've had bmx and 5 mos of chemo, 6 more months of herceptin. I can't take tamoxifen and have to decide on lurpon/arimidex which has two pages of side effects. She said 'I think if someone made you a meal or cleaned the house you'd just find something elso to worry about.' Well how about making my kids a meal and seeing if it helps?. I am so hurt by this. My middle sister has Crohn's disease and I used to take my vacation time when she had surgeries so she wouldn't be scared. She paid for a housekeeper twice a month when I started chemo and it was very sweet but what I really wanted was someone to play with my kids and distract them. Uggh, sorry I tend to ramble on steroids. Am I being too sensitive? When my sister kept going on about me worrying about the house being clean I said it's not just that, I'm too tired to play with my children and it hurts to be intimate with my husband. Then I just stopped b/c I could tell she thinks I'm being negative.
Carolyn
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Carolyn -hugs!!!! You're totally not alone. I get those feelings of being overwhelmed too, and I think some people just don't get it. Kind of like --"Okay, you're done and now you can be normal again!" I will say I'm having some great days, but it surely isn't the same. I want to say "Do you GET that my body will never be the same after chemo?" granted I have one less boob, but that isn't what bothers me. I will always have to worry about lymphedema in the surgery side, I wonder why I never got my period back and am having all these menopausal symptoms - in a way I welcome it since my periods were horrible, but in another way it's changed me because my body is "Not the same" and in another way , in the back of my mind, I wonder what the effects of this will be. If chemo was so strong as to shut down my ovaries permanently, what else did it do? I don't know. The odd thing is that I don't think I was in menopause before tamoxifen. I actually still had a lot of cervical mucus, almost like I was ovulating and I was pretty sure things were starting up again, like I was going to get my period. Then suddenly, a couple of weeks on tamox and it all dried up overnight and stayed that way. I think tamox was just the nail in the coffin of my poor reproductive system from the chemo damage.
My house is a disaster too. Just try to hang in there. My kids have been having some tough times - my son has been exhibiting some symptoms of not only add but aspergers and I'm looking into getting some help for him. After the tax stress of the past three weeks I haven't been able to think about it. I'm still waiting on the results of my bloodwork from the osteopath and haven't been back to the oncologlist yet. I worry about every ache and pain and today I'm just wiped out.
I think you need to allow yourself to feel what you want to. We've all been through a heck of a lot and that's an understatement! It's traumatic and by your reaction to the tamox, that adds to it also. But even without the tamox, it's difficult.
I haven't felt much like playing with my kids either - and that sets off a whole other guilt trip, doesn't it?? So sometimes we just lie in bed and watch silly thing on the laptop on Youtube. Fun old cartoons, or puppies and kittens, or whatever. They seem to like this and it's very low impact. If you have any books you liked to read as a kid, that's also a good way to spend time - I enjoy reading to my kids from my favorite books (the Little House series, kids classics, etc).
RIght now I'm going to force myself to go outside. I feel drained - yesterday was the funeral of our pastor's wife and we were doing dishes at the church for hours. It was wonderful to be able to do something for somebody else after all they've done for me, but today I'm really really tired!
Hang in there - you aren't alone. I find it so helpful to just talk to God at those times. The Bible says that he understands our hurts even when nobody else does. I find I feel remarkably better and not so alone!
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Carolyn-
I am so sorry you are not feeling well and have hit a bit of a rough patch. Big, gigantic hugs to you.
You have every right to feel the way you do and you know what is more real than what you feel? Nothing. Unless someone has had the exact same life as you, the exact same highs and lows, they should not be attempting to impugn your feelings. I am always positive but I am also realistic and a Stage II bc being called "in remission" by someone outside of the medical field is outlandish at best. We do have a cloud of precariousness over us about this whole matter. I think it would take me, personally, years to feel "in remission" and I don't go for the emotional highs and lows the vernacular connected to this disease can cause. Consequently on the great things that could be happening, when you have one, humongous catastrophic blow, catching a double coupon break at the grocery store a good thing does not make!!!!! You have had a lot to deal with and there is no disputing that. By all means, your sister should take you to the promised land of people enthralled about remission but you better pack a bag because I think it is going to be a very, very long trip! People in "remission (whatever the hell that is!)" are too petrified to be optimistic!
Don't worry about the damn house and the groceries. You will get to it when you get to it. You are not a robot and I am sure that if someone did make you a meal or clean your house, WITHOUT JUDGMENT, you would certainly be happy and not find something else to worry about. That would be wonderful. It hurts physically, mentally and emotionally to not be able to play with the kids and to enjoy some time with your husband. It all takes it's toll and, like I said, unless someone is in your shoes, their advice and judgment has no place.
I validate your feelings and I think you should not second guess yourself, not even for 2 seconds, that the road you have been on is considered hell-and-back and don't question if you are too sensitive. Who could tell you if you were? No one. Just take things one day at a time, don't connect the value of your day to particular outcomes or accomplishments and just do what you can and if that is nothing or there is a sink full of dishes, so be it. There are 365 days in a year; don't fret about this one!
The most important thing is not to judge yourself. Every second of every minute of this bc journey is new in some little, pecuniary way and totally accept the way you feel about it. Once you try, and it is not easy, to accept the way you feel about it, you won't second-guess or question the validity of your feelings again. I just wish when you reached out to someone when you were feeling down you did not get judgment but instead got some support. You know what would have been a positive thing today? If your sister said "I understand." That is all it would have taken. Just a simple statement identifying with your feelings.Take it easy today, Carolyn. Do only what you feel like. I hope this day gets better for you, woman!
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Here's my research contribution for the day - really interesting scientific info regarding Kale. I'm drinking my Kale shake right now so I happened to think of it. My healthfood store carries organic kale at a high price, and when I can't get there, I have to buy non organic from the grocery store. It's nowhere near as good in a shake, but when there's nothing else....
Anyway, I have a super power blender- I throw in some frozen papaya or pineapple and some water and blend it all up. I've actually acquired a taste for it.
The info regarding all cancers and Kale is pretty convincing!0 -
kel Thanks so much. I always think of you as supermom:-) so it helps to hear that you are struggling too, though I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It's just a long haul to wellness for all of us I think. I don't know where I am as far as menopause. I got a period before I started tamoxifen (so I had to get an endometrial biopsy) but none since. I'm not getting night sweats since I stopped but do get that head in the oven feeling occasionally.
I'm sorry that your son is struggling. Is he having a tougher time since you got sick? Mine had a harder time after chemo ended. My little guys both have hypotonia, But Aidan has adhd/ocd, global dyspraxia, sleep disorder, sensory processing disorder and GI issues as well. He has made alot of progress so there is help/ hope out there. We did private services for them at Children's specialized Hopsital in Mountainside ; they have a few locations so one might be near you. I always ask around to other parents and drs for referrals, you don't want to waste time with the wrong person. I believe even if the children are home schooled the district is responsible for providing services/evaluations if there is a need at no cost to you. You can look at wrightslaw.com and also contact http://www.spannj.org/. Feel free to pm me if there's anything I can help you with.
I feel guilty about the kids, but I'm trying to find things that take less of my energy. I made popcorn and we watched tangled in my bed the other day, they were so excited to be eating popcorn in "the big bed". old books are a good idea, they're too young but I used to love nancy drew/ the hardy boys, lol. I've lost my voice so I got some books on cd from the library, have you read the skippyjon jones books. The cd does the little chihauha (sp) accent better than I do and the kids were belly laughing. I'm having trouble following simple directions for board games so I am in awe of all of you who are working.
Carolyn
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Ckptry. People just don't understand that cancer is like a boogey man under the bed, we know he could jump out at any time. They don't understand that the end od chemo doesn t mean we are DONE. They don t realize the emotional and physical toll the treatment takes on us. Last week I was helping a student work on researching poisonous plants. Funny to see the pacific yew tree mentioned, since that is where one of our chemo drugs comes from.
Cannot imagine doing this with little ones at home as many of you have.
I have been fortunate to have coworkers that made meals for me or sent gift cards for food twice a week during chemo and through surgery. With little ones I can imagine this would really take some stress off of you.
Texas you are just ahead of my rad schedule.
Libraylil0 -
Speaking of veggies we should try to develop a taste for, Swiss Chard, although not supported by all the cancer-fighting research as Kale, has a lot of same properties as Kale in the polyphenol antioxidants area, and I saw Rachael Ray cooking it up very easily this morning, as follows:
EVOO in the fry pan, drop in the Swiss Chard, salt & pepper and grate some fresh nutmeg over it. It was that easy! She let it cook down and served it with some pork roast....yuck on the roast but yay on the chard!!!!
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Carolyn: I am so sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. I totally get your feelings, however. I would say that I can't believe your sister's reaction, however I have seen a little bit of this myself so I do believe it. She is being incredibly insensitive and has no idea what you have gone through, so for her to give you any sort of criticism or even advice is very presumptious of her!
I understand and share your feelings totally, especially the frustration. I think we too would love for this whole thing to be over and for our lives to go back to normal. I think the whole time we were in treatment, we thought that would happen. However, I am now beginning to believe that it will never get "back to normal". We have changed, physically and mentally, and there are so many new realities, not the least of which is fear of recurrence.
Don't question yourself, you are a very strong woman just to have made it this far. You had a lot on your plate before breast cancer, being a full-time, doting mom and teacher to your children. I stand in awe of your ability to have gone through all of this while also having to deal with the daily issues that come with having a special needs child!
I agree with Lizzy, try to be a little easier on yourself. Do what you can and let the rest go. If the house isn't spotless that is okay. Focus on the sanitary issues and leave the clutter. Spend as much time as you can with your kids, and they will appreciate just the time spent together, it doesn't always have to be organized or spectacular. The popcorn and movie in bed sound like a great idea!
Now that the majority of the "active treatment" is over, I often feel the rest of the world expects me to snap back to normal, and I do too. But it takes a while and it gets very frustrating sometimes. Physically I am still not back to normal and that frustrates me. Mentally, I don't think I will ever be the same...and that is not necessarily a bad thing. I made some very important discoveries about priorities as a result of breast cancer, and some much needed life changes. We are all in the same boat, and nobody who hasn't had breast cancer can really understand. But we do understand and please accept my big {{{{HUGG}}}} and my wishes that your day gets better. Your children and husband are very lucky to have a strong, caring woman like you, and if you asked them they would tell you so! And your sister is being a jerk!
Feel better Carolyn!!
Debbi
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Hugs Carolyn! Hang in there, I hope the asthma clears up quickly. I can't imagine having young kids and going through this and your sister doesn't get it at all! (((Hugs))))0
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I agree - I think nobody gets it. Personally, I"m tired of people telling other people how they should live. I Just found out my SIL said to my daughter last night about how nice it was that I had a friend who came to chemo w/ me even though that was my DH's job. HUH!? WTH!? She knew that his job didn't allow that - it's hard enough to keep a job in this economy - try taking eight Mondays off for this kind of thing when you don't have the vaca time! Sorry, but he needed to keep the job to pay for my treatments! ARGH!! I don' t know if she actually meant it this way - she knew he gave up his overtime for me when I got sick, etc. I think she probably didn't mean it the way DD is saying, but still - I mean why Is she even saying stuff like that at all? ARGH!
Carolyn - I'm going to look into it. I have no idea where to begin. I don't think he's gotten "worse" since I was diagnosed, but he has been showing more signs as he gets older. Unfortunately I can't afford private services for him; I hope his insurance will cover something......
Unless you've walked this cancer road, you have no idea what it's like. I think it deepens our appreciiation of life, but there is so much baggage with it that we carry.
Carolyn - those little things, like eating popcorn in bed, etc., are what kids remember and they are a really big deal to them I've found. It doesn't have to be a trip to Disney - sometimes it's just a backyard campfire, or even a grill heated up to roast marshmallows on.
It's hard to feel spread so thin-- I think we all need to give ourselves a little time and a little break.
Lizzy - I planted swiss chard the other day. I've actually never tried swiss chard, but the healthfood store in town has been getting some gorgeous swiss chard every Wednesday - maybe I'll give it a try. The seed package says that it can grow to be 36" tall -wow! today I started Broccoli Rabe in little seed trays to transplant after the frost. I hope they grow - I love broccoli rabe! I steam it really briefly and then dump the water out of the pan and replace it with some olive oil - mix it together with some walnuts and sea salt, and sometimes turmeric and it's really good!
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My husband and I went out to dinner today for the first time since I started chemo in August. I went once while my sop\n and family were here but I felt like sleeping on the table and had to have soup so I just can't count that. I had a margarita and enchilada and tamale. All good and just right. Now DH leaves until early Saturday morning flying to Fla from here. A long trip.
I decided to delay the start of the Generic Arimidex until DH returns home just in case I have a big SE.
Wound is healing nicely where the port was.
Carolyn I am so sorry to hear you are being subjected to your sisters brow beating. Have you considered you don't have to listen to her and have the option to hang up. I am one to forget that and try to bring about understanding. Sometimes hanging up can be the best option when what you are listening to is hurting you. COnsider asking her directly for what you need, just that, perhaps could help. I hope it will be better for you soon.
Texas, tell the Doc even if it is embarassing. Or write a note with the question on it? Wear a hoodie so he can't see you blush?
Love Ginger
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Carolyn I'm sorry to hear you are struggling right now. That is rough that your kids have been sick and now you are sick too. I wish your sister had been more supportive, it sounds like even aside from all the bc stuff (which is overwhelming and upsetting itself), being sick is just making things worse. I hope that the steroids will get you feeling well again soon and if the house needs to be messy and the refrigerator empty for a few days then that is ok. Like the others have said, sometimes for kids the most fun thing is not something expensive or fancy, but just being able to do something out of the ordinary. Eating popcorn in the big bed is a good example of that and I'm sure your kids had a blast.
I think at this point we have all worked so hard emotionally to get through diagnosis and treatment that now sometimes it is the little things that add up and push us over the edge. Like we are already using up most of our emotional reserve just to get through each day so there isn't as much left over as usual to deal with the milder bumps in the road. Plus I think not sleeping well and feeling chronically tired just makes that worse. I know it does for me. For example, you all know I have been working on cleaning and organizing my house to get it ready to sell. I was hoping to be done Friday, but more things kept popping up that needed to be done so then I hoped to be done Saturday and then hoped to be done Sunday. Well last night as I thought I was finishing I discovered another area of peeling paint that needed to be patched and repainted. At that point I was so exhausted and tired that I just started crying and wailing that the house was never going to be done and I couldn't take it any more. My husband could not figure out what was wrong with me and why I was crying so hard when we really were almost done but I had just completely run out of energy and couldn't deal with one more thing. After crying for a bit I settled down and finished some more work (though tonight I do still need to paint that spot) but I think before all of this I would have been frustrated but not gotten so upset. Anyway, I have just a couple small things to do tonight and then tomorrow the realtor is coming over to take pictures and get the house on the market. Hopefully it will sell soon!
Today was rads #16 of 34 - tomorrow is halfway! Yay!
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Calmytkel. I also did not ask my DH to comp to my chemos for the exact reason. My daughters took turns going with me. We actually enjoyed each other, chatted,used the laptop, etc. My DH would have been miserable also sitting there all day. Libraylil
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Good day chemosabes and radicals-
Happy mid-April to you all! At the very least, we can all be thankful that better weather is upon us, albeit in the form of warmer temps and rain!
Where is Zenith?! I just realized we have not heard from her in a while. Although she was going back to work around this timeframe. Well, Zenith, if you are reading, I miss you!
Sptmm: I am so with you on the mental thing. Even with crosswords and flashcards and studying, am still having wicked weird dreams and I don't seem back to normal yet at all. I keep having dreams of my father, who has been dead for 11 years, and he is alive and these dreams have been going on for a bit now. I am also having dreams about people I have not seen in years. Who knows?! Leftover chemo blessing perhaps!!
Calamtykel: who the heck is your SIL to establish your husband's "duty" list?! My concern would also be the affect of setting such unrealistic expectations of a husband's place upon my DD. I think if I were married I would have preferred my husband work as well especially in these precarious economic times and the fact that we are all so in desperate need of health insurance that the working party cannot afford to be cavalier. People who don't have cancer are clueless as to how many things we have to consider.
Kel-I love broccoli rabe!!!! Love it! You must tell me how that comes out! Swiss Chard is an acquired taste, much like Kale, but in our state of health, we better get acquiring!!! That is my motto because I was never a friend of kale or swiss chard pre-bc!
Did your mom get her dog yet?
Ckptry: you know what I remember most about from childhood? I thought I was some sort of astronomer so my mom would sit by the pool with me at night in the summer and I had my wicked sophisticated Fisher Price astronomical gadgets (!) and I would look at the stars and she would talk to me about life, love and the pursuit of happiness! We would also sing "Frere Jacques" and other childhood songs. I also remember going to the beach a lot with her as we lived in a shorefront town. She was sick at that time also, SICK of my father that is, and would soon be leaving(!!!) but those were my fondest memories so popcorn in bed will definitely stand out with them. Those are the things they remember. Of course I remember the amusement parks and all but not like those summer nights in the backyard singing and me looking at the stars. I also LOVED trips to the book store to get "Nancy Drew" books! "The Hardy Boys" too! BTW, those summer nights were a way for me to also bend my mother's ear about how my brothers were mistreating me!!! Riding me in the pool like Seabiscuit for one!!!!! Yes, I was the youngest and enjoyed every minute of telling mom and dad of my mistreatment when they were not around!
Ginger: glad you got out to dinner and had a good time. It must be hard with your DH traveling. That must be hard on you. I love Mexican and, of course, margaritas! I also love "andale" which is a Mexican Dance. In fact they do it in Zumba!
JSW: congrats on being halfway and for the crying jag over more painting to be done! You have been working non-stop in that house through rads, from what I can gather, and it is a lot. Cry, breakdown, ease the pain, woman!!!!! Let it all out!
Well, my new flip-out is the CT Scan dye for the brain scan! I am busy googling all kinds of mayhem that the dye will lead to and low and behold, what do I stumble on? More research which has been done regarding CT Scans and the potential for them to definitely be cancer-causing!! Just great! Best news! I am backing off Google until it is done!! I hope the people in my crazy dreams do not turn the color of the dye! I will then be getting much less sleep than I already am!!!!
Good day, all-
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My son was sick is now better from his bout with bronchitis and now I have come down with something.....not sure what...feel tired, crappy, stuffy and just overall shi***. So strange as I am exercising almost daily and eating well.....and then feel crappy...go figure.
I am meeting up with disability rehab person tomorrow to discuss a back to work plan and how that may work over the next few weeks and how they will incorporate me back to work.
Further to the other posts, people are strange...how they react when you are diagnosed, going through treatment and post-treatment. People love to give their opinions about cancer and of course, none of them have gone through it. One person said to me last week that "at least my cancer is gone and I am cured!!". As we all know...there is no cure. People think chemo is a cure-all. I just shake my head and can't be bothered anymore trying to explain! Aarrgghhh! Like tht old British war tie saying....."Keep calm and carry on"!!0 -
Carolyn- Nope you're not being sensitive- its our own perogotive to feel down when its seems life's handing us a crappy deck! She sounded insensitive- as "ome of the women that would love to have that" i say feel bad today, but smile tomorrow!
kel- i can not believe she said that!!!! First its none of her business if he takes time off to be with you or not and second tells it to your DD?
Ginger- Might do the hoddie LOL j/k
Jsw19- yeah we all have a "breaking point" and it sucks when we push ourselves to it! Your house should sell quickly seeing how you're doing a lot to fix it up. You'd be surprised on how many people DONT!
Lizzy- what the heck is andale? i am gonna youtube that!
rachel hope you feel better
funny cuz my friend just called and asked if i was in remission yet and i had to go into this long spiel that remission isnt used in stage for mostly NED ect... i felt like a bearer of bad news!
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