August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Mommichelle: I had a long talk with my sister which helped. After much deliberation, I am just not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If the MRI is clear, I am going to accept it and move on. It is very much in the back of my head that because I had a IIb and it was not radiated that it is bound to spread. I have to control my speculating, however. If what I am feeling is cancer, it will present soon enough and, if it is not, it will most likely rectify itself. The VNA made a very good point in that perhaps it is all just muscular from my recon surgery in October? There is no way to know. I am going to try to calm down and take it all a bit more in stride! Good luck to me on that note!!!
As for you, January 13th is just around the corner and I will be thinking of you! Best wishes, woman!
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Lizzy - I guess I can join you in the "weird things found" or "waiting" club! About a week ago, took off my camisole and realized the shelf bra was super tight! I've worn this one before and I didn't think much about it. It left a big red ridge. The next morning, the back of my shoulder hurt and under my arm felt full. Of course, it was like "sh*t" - truncal lymphedema....
I assumed brought on by having this ridiculous tight ridge across the bottom of my chest near my drain scars. then I rememebered last December I the same thing happen- the weird feeling under my arm, etc. I went to the onc and since my shoulder blade hurt too, they did a rib series of x -rays and they were clear. So meanwhile..now here I am again!
I made an app't with the breast surgeon for next thursday, but meanwhile nothing LOOKs swollen in the mirror, but the back of my shoulder blade feels stinging - it's hard to explain; like the skin hurts. But today at the chiropractor (my nutritionist) he felt several trigger points that we both identified, so I'm hoping I just strained the muscle from lifting. And yes, my muscles are sore. Doesn't explain the under arm weirdness- I can't explain it - it feels like it's swollen but I see nothing there. But the nerves are so shot inthat area - I have huge patches of numness and near numbness so knows WHAT I'm feeling or where it's coming from.
today my chiro did some gentle vibration and laser therapy in order to try to break up the scar tissue that could be preventing the lymph from draining. I know truncal LE can present this way so I'm kinda scared...
I just hope it goes away like it did last year!And of course in the back of one's mind is ALWAYS "what if it's cancer...again..." I took courage and felt under my arms and I dont' feel anything lumpy or any lymph nodes. I pray pray pray it doesn't go into my arm if it is LE....
So here we are again, at the waiting game.
At the same time, just found out that a bill that we have been getting harrassed about from colletions was paid by Aetna last May! I'm SUPER pissed off - it's contributed to shooting our credit to hell and the collections agency was so bitchy on the phone yesterday. I don't know what to do - I got a copy of the EOB from Aetna that said it was paid - got it from my husband's benefits coordinator at work.
Now I have to fight this because as of yesterday the hospital was still saying it was outstanding. Our credit is in the toilet and our cards are maxed out. I never thought I'd say it, but SOME form of socialized medicine would have to help with some of this stuff - I can't believe how they can just shoot your credit and demand payments they've already been paid. It's illegal yes, but trying to fight this is ridiculous!
"hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4
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Good evening warriors!
I hope everyone is well.
Calmtykel: well, woman, I am glad I am not the only one convinced I am on problem-free borrowed time! You know how you had to remind yourself about last December? Well, I find myself "forgetting" things like when I emailed my onc's APRN today asking about tumor markers. She answered my question but I am sure I asked it 5 times already! I found out they don't do markers on Stages 1-III because they can be misleading. In any case, before I repeat myself again I am going to keep a JOURNAL of symptoms, questions, answers etc.... and perhaps you should join me!
At the risk of sounding ridiculous, did you put your bra in the dryer by chance? I totally know what you mean about the inexplicable pains. I am so *&^%$ tired of trying to figure out what the heck is going on that I am just going to lift and do all my stuff and ignore these freakin' pains because according to that CT and MRI, it isn't cancer. I guess I am wicked paranoid because it was a IIb and I wasn't radiated combined with the sono results. You, too, might be paranoid as you did not get along with tamox so my lack of radiation and weird sono is your tamox. I am so tired of playing the tail on the cause in my head that when I was up for my 3AM hot flash that puts me outside in a tank top!) I decided I am just not going to worry about it anymore. I think my sister is right in that our capitalistic healthcare system, and me with my excellent health insurance, that if I keep asking questions, an element of advantageousness might take over and I don't mean Yale. Like if I truck around for seconds or looking for problems, someone might find one for me!
I hope everything works out for you on Thursday and it is NOT LE presenting. Why now, you know? You are right on top of it anyway and none of us are afraid to stare cancer in the face so hopefully it is not mets/recur or LE and perhaps lifting is the culprit. Use ice and try to reduce the aggravation.
Oh just great on the credit report business. Effers. That is going to be such a freakin' hassle to get off your credit but yet we have no recourse but to fax and beg those stupid credit reporting agencies to clean up the mess. It is illegal and so therefore you having to fight is ridiculous but no one cares. When I think of the mess that our credit reporting agencies are WITH govt regulations can you imagine how much worse it could be if the govt was more hands off? It is like calling Ebay for customer service! WASTE OF TIME! Speaking of which, if you have any trouble on Ebay with a buyer dinging you, I found a way around that as you and I both know buyers can ding and sellers can only say "thank you, may I have another!" You know how they refuse to remove feedback? Well, if you are having a problem with a buyer what is the first thing you do? You look at their feedback. Of course, it is all positive, right?! NO, Lizzy figured a way around it! I put in caps with stars, in the positive comment area, *****BEWARE**** 7 DAY NON-PAYER, CIRCUMVENTED UID**** and it is still there today! She took her grand old time paying and then, when I did not ship immediately, she dinged me even though it clearly arrived in time. Ebay can take the rope they put around sellers hands and shove it! Anyway I don't sell there anymore as Ebay and Paypal together are a hot mess. I much prefer Amazon.
Well, happy New Year to you and I sure hope the news is nothing but good on Thursday. I am sorry you have to wait but hopefully it is nothing. I am so sick to death tired of this entire mess. I am going to take my MRI results and just say hallelujah!!!
Sptmm: DEB, I am so sorry, I failed to tell you how wonderful I thought it was that you hit your weight goal!!!!!! That is wonderful news! Good for you because you know, last night on the news the "cancer" powers-that-be know nothing about what causes cancer etc.. but now they know it is linked to weight!!!!!!! They are such a bag of ___holes! Right, now it is weight related...you know where this is headed! I am still writing the comedy on how the whole of the country has gotten so fat the government is way more in our business than they should be! In any case, I am starting to think I am clairvoyant!!!
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Lizzy - I'm about to get on the phone now with them. I can't believe how lightening fast these places send bills to collections - good grief, it was in dispute!! It should NOT have been sent!
About to rip someone a new one!
I think my arm feels better today! The back of the shoulder is still a little sore but I can't believe along my scar line how much "looser" and softer the skin is! The vibration therapy was not very pleasant - he had me pulling one way when he pulled the other and it felt so weird, and then he blue lasered the whole area. But it feels so much different now in a good way.
Just hoping the under arm and back of the shoulder issue resolves. Drainage drainage I guess is always the deal after surgery! I asked could scar tissue flare up 18 months later and he said "sure!"
I guess they'll do arm meansurements and such - praying for wisdom for my breast surgeon next week....I know some of them can be weird about LE, but hopefully she'll know what to be looking for.
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Well, Ladies, hello again! I am very sorry that I have been gone so long, and so abruptly. I lost a dear relative in October, my Aunt Deane, and I just wasn't, I don't know, up for thinking about cancer I guess. Even though her death was not a surprise, it hurt. Then I had to go to Texas to help my parents with some serious health issues that they weren't handling on their own. Etc., etc., etc.
Of course, though, I never stop thinking about you. It's a strange thing. I have desparately wondered about each of you and wanted to know how you are doing, but each time I came to my computer, about to log on, my hands would start to tremble, and my eyes would get teary, and something just stopped me.
I guess, now, at last, out of self-interest I'm embarassed to say, I am back, because yesterday I found a new lump. Description and details are not necessary here because I know that you all know every exact thing of importance when you hear those words. I have told no one. But I did schedule an appointment with my breast surgeon for next Tuesday.
I haven't gone back and tried to catch up on posts, though I probably will, so I'll just say that I hope everyone is doing alright, and I am, as ever, grateful to all of you for being such good friends to me, even when I disappear and come back.
More later....
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(((((Hugs Wherria))))) Here's to the lump being just a lump and nothing to worry about. I hate this stupid disease.
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WHERRIA, I am glad to hear from you once again. So sorry that you have a lump to deal with. Come back and visit with us.
Ginger
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Good day, warriors!I hope everyone is well. We are having some fantastic weather in the Northeast. Almost 60 in CT!! Unheard of! I am enjoying this day, I will tell you all that and actually had a chance to take my bike out! So nice out.
Texas: where are you?! I am concerned about you, woman!
Sptmm: wowie!!!!! Some fantastic weather we are having!! I am so very glad I did not drag the 50 lb glass for the front door upstairs and put it in as the screen is still in the front storm door from summer and it is so nice to get some air in here in January! I just went to Lyman Orchards! I love that place. I also stopped by Powder Ridge to see how the NY firm that bought it is doing with it. Looks good and my favorite, little, quaint ski area in bucolic Middlefield is going to be open again next year!!!!! I cannot wait! It is nice to live within 10 minutes of a ski area!
Calamtykel: let's face it: we have socialized med and it is called OVER-BILL the very well insured so we can afford the freebies! For this reason, these little joker bills should NOT be getting turned over at all on any cancer patients. I am sick and tired of being nickled and dimed by Yale who have already been paid over a ½ a million dollars...is that enough, jokers?! Geez...they have no compunction about sending out these little shit bills and for what? Didn't you all get fat enough already on me?! I despise it. They should accept their egregious amounts they get from the insurance companies and shut up. I am so tired of the entire medical industry at this point I hope to god I am no longer sick and I can't just stay the ___ away from it.
All the ripping is no good for you either. You should not have to get yourself upset about all of this but if you are carbon-based, there is no way having something turned over to collections that was already paid is going to sit well with you and talking to those collection animals is a task in and of itself. I feel for you, woman.
I am glad your arm feels better. Do your own measurements every week and just keep track yourself. It is easier that way and you can rest your head going forward if you have documented measurements and this happens again. You can always go back and reference.
Wherria: good luck with the doctor this week. We all live in this constant state of concern over this mess. Eventually I think we hit rock bottom in that we no longer think we are dying and start living like we are not eventually. The philosophical point that every person, sick or not, is dying a little every day is valid but for us the conditioning has been immediate and the foreboding cumbersome. Here is to "oh, I am not dying?! Great, let me start living again!" in 2012! I need a head cleansing also. This disease messes with you no end.
Everyone: I got a Homedics percussion massager for Christmas and glad I did as my left breast (in the loosest sense) likes to harden up b/c of circulation issues after fat grafting. In any case, massage helps a lot. Well, this thing is the best! I think you should all get yourself one because I use it on my neck and arms, too! I am sure we could all benefit in some way from this. I also got a Massage Envy certificate and am looking forward to using that. I do have 2 massages left at Yale I should take advantage of. Massage Envy, although it is a chain, is nice. I am impressed!!
CARPE DIEM!!!!!!!
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Lizzy: I was very glad to hear that your MRI was clear. You are right, we all live in fear, I think, of spread or recurrence, but we just have to try to put it in the back of our minds and live the life that we have and enjoy it. I would, however, encourage you to take your file and treatment plan to another facility for a second review. You have had a lot of problems, and seem to have some serious questions about your treatment plan. It would be relatively easy for you to go to MSK in NYC and have them review everything. Maybe that will give you a little peace of mind, which is very important.
As for the weather today, all I can say is, WOW!! 60 degrees for a high today. It was beautiful!!!! I enjoyed every minute of the sunshine. A hockey game (outdoors) and a soccer game (outdoors) and then went for a long walk. I couldn't get enough fresh air.
Thanks for the congrats on my weight, and thanks for encouraging my exercise attempts when I first started, you really helped motivate me. And the exercise is the thing that helped me shed the weight. As for the cancer powers to be, it is funny that you mention the link between weight and cancer. I have seen those reports too. And I am also acutely aware that skinny people get breast cancer too.....but, the notion that being overweight can help "make my body's environment more conducive to cancer growth" has definitely taken hold in my mind. Its funny, when I first started a year ago, I only wanted to exercise. My goal was not weight loss. It was exercise to help recover from the fatigue of chemo and rads and feel better, as well as lower my recurrence risk as exercise has been proven to do. But at some point, it did become about the weight, and I must admit I have become a little obsessed. I can't eat anything anymore without thinking about a calorie count and I have to make myself leave the gym after class and not "stay to burn off some more calories". It really stinks. But I am trying to let go of that. Anyway, its funny how things take hold in your mind, and even though logically you can reason them away, they still haunt you! But like I have told my kids, who make fun of my exercise obsession, there are worse things that I could be obsessed with!
Well, I hope tommorrow is as nice as today. Have a great day!
Debbi
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Lizzy - that's what my nutritionist (chiropractor) used on me the other day - a percussion thing! They are pretty amazing - he had me lay face down and he used it all over my shoulder on the mastecomy side and the whole shoulder blade. That area always did give me trouble but since the mastectomy it's the most prone to injury. He seemed to feel that's where a lot of my trouble is coming from.
Then he very gently used it over my mastectomy scar on my chest on the lowest setting. He made sure I was okay with this cause I was kinda scared at how it would feel. But he had me pull gently one way on the scar as he used the percussion and he said this breaks up the scar tissue and allows for cirulation and drainage. It felt weird but wasn't unbearable. I was told that scar tissue can harden and or flare up even now 18 months later! He said the areas tight so I have to work with it - then he used a blue laser to gently help it also.
Love that percussion thing - have to look into one of them!
I'm wondering about something and now that I'm reading about it I'm very interested. My whole area - chest, scar, under arm and back seem somehow hyper sensitive. First it was all numb but now i wonder if some sensation is coming back - if that's why I have this weird feeling under my arm and chest. Today when DH and I were out shopping, I actually reached in and yanked out my foob--and just went without (I had a big scarf and sweatshirt on!) I couldn't stand the way it felt against my chest! It was scratchy and picky for some reason. My whole chest seemed to be annoying me. I wonder if this is whats happening where my arm meets my chest because that's where it feels most weird.
I will be interested in what the breast surgeon says.
Wher-sorry about the lump! Is it on the affected side/? If so, it is scar tissue? I go Monday for a mammo to see if that little cyst thing is still there from six months ago. Praying, Dear Lord please...that it's gone.
Had a great day antiquing with my husband - as much as I miss my kiddies when they were infants, it's great to be able to have an afternoon out together now that the older ones are old enough to babysit!
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WOW THIS BOARD WAS BUSY THE WEEK I WAS AWAY!!!!!!!
Lizzy- Bra story makes sense now LOL
Omaz- I am really glad to hear your friend is doing okay.
Lady- Good idea not to be out with the drunks. I was driving at noon and my DH called and told me to get off the road ASAP because there were quite a few reports of drunks driving from apparently the night before! Noon can you believe it!
Lizzy- No sweat girl! I didnt PM you because I didnt want to share it i think i pm'd you because i was checking my PMs and just quickly responded. I should be saying thank you to you for reminding me that I hadnt yet posted. It would have been funny had I talked about taking ASL classes and of of y'all would have been like "that girl has done lost her mind" LOL HAHAHA no worries!
Oh and the reason I never went to MD Anderson was because its about an hour further (in the opposite direction) to me then San Antonio and I have friends and fam in SA so when i was going for chemo it was much more convenient for them to watch the kids and me stay over night there where i didnt need to pay for a hotel stay every month. I am doing really well right now but DH and i spoke about if i do have progression or something i may look at going there.
New Years- Sorry girls i totally meant to get online but I was asleep by 930!
Michelle- So good to hear from you! I will be praying!!!!!
Lizzy- Negative results!!!!!! thumbs up!!!!! Still have pain
thumbs down! I would suggest it the pain continues you go to as many specialists as possible to get some answers. True nothing showed up on the mri but it may be something non-cancer related so that might not be the best test to find out what it is....Kel- Weird about the pain. I had read some where that cancer is the gift that keeps on giving.... Where is the return department? LOL I am glad you're feeling a little better, but pray that it goes away with no further pain!
Bills- I totally feel you girl! I have been trying to pay down what i owe my oncologist and i paid $100 bucks and then when i got the next statement it shows the credit for $100 but the total only went down by $20! I called and they said they'll "research it". Just one more thing for me to stay on top of cuz you know they wont get it done unless i call a thousand times!
I also had to fight something that had been paid- they were trying to send it off to collections to- i got a notice that it was going to be sent, i called and said my insurance paid and they said well there was a small balance and i was told by my insurance that is the "write off amount" (the amount above their contracted limit) and that i shouldnt be charged this. (it was under 70 bucks btw) i relayed that info to the dr office that was billing and she was so RUDE! said she'll look into it ect.... then a few weeks later i got a collection notice for over $1,400 LOL oh boy did they get an earful! Not only did they send off a paid account to collections they sent off an amount that i didnt owe ect.... It took a few months to get that straigtened up and to be honest i havent checked my credit since all this cancer stuff cuz i couldnt care less.
Markers- I havent said much on this topic because i dang near got my head chewed off on the stage 4 boards LOL My oncologist who is fresh out of med school (or was when i first was dx'd) said he didnt even learn about markers at school- when he got into his residency he noticed that some of the drs did and he asked about it. What he explained to me is that the TMs havent been that reliable consistently enough to keep testing for them. They dont extend your life at all. They in fact get a lot of people over worried about not much at all. As we all have heard/read a lot about how you come through your dx'd is based on your mental state. No need to add more stress to an already stressed out person.
Also sometimes a persons TMs have been very reliable and then all of a sudden they aren't anymore. Imagine if you were told your markers are on the rise and then you think OMG its come back ect and then the dr tells you- oh i guess your markers were wrong this time....
I trust my dr completely and so it doesnt bother me that i've never had my markers tested.
Ebay- Yes i have been dinged, i never tried Amazon- i may sometime
Wherria- I will be praying for you. We all understand you not getting on frequently. I tend to get anxiety when going on the stage 4 boards. I am NED and A) feel guilty when i read what everyone is going through and
when i read peoples recurrence it plain scares me!Lizzy- Part of my physical thearpy is massage and i love it! it really has helped!
Sorry i was offline for a week! My son had a longer vacation than my daughter and Thur he was supposed to go back, WELL..... wed night i found head lice in my daughters hair!!! which is scary cuz we still mostly co-sleep so we ALL were at risk. wed night i was up til 2 in the am treating everyone and disinfecting our beds. Luckily she was the only one to have it, but we of course all were treated to be on the safe side. Thur instead of sending the kids to school i spent 9am to nearly 2 pm at the laundry mat washing everything and then when i got home i had to bag up everything that couldnt be washed.... BTW i called the school first thing in the AM to let them know, friday i brought her back to school to find out that the nurse never checked any of the other kids. Well i said "i am just going to keep her home today" they looked at me like i was an alien LOL i explained it take a LOT of work to rid one's self of this parasite and i am not gonna be doing it again! I called the superintendent's office to complain that now my daughter has to miss yet another day of school because they werent on this like white on rice! (due diligence ppl!) they then called to school who gave a bull faced like about the principal talking with me. Nope that never happened i spoke with the secretary and thats it.... Anyhow, just been super busy with the kids being home ONCE again, first the meningitis then the winter break, then lice... Kel i truly dont know how you do it!!!
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Just a quick note to say Happy New Year....we came back from Cabo last night...catching up on laundry, groceries etc. We had a great time....what a difference a year makes. I have two onco appointments on the horizon ths month....not looking forward to either (as you can all imagine). Fingers crossed for clear sailing in 2012..for all of us:)
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Good evening, warriors!
I hope everyone had a nice weekend. It is 2012 and we need to rustle up some fun for ourselves at every chance so get out there and do what makes you happy!
Sptmm: I actually pm'd ckptry asking for help and/or advice b/c when I called intake at MSK I spoke with a rather commodious (yes, seriously) woman and she was basically telling me if I was not "in a cancerous state" I was not allowed to go to MSK!!!!!!!! People are crazy! I know I can call around and find out what I can do. For now, however, I am looking forward to just relaxing and feeling cancer-free for a while. I honestly think what I might do is go to Houston to see my brother and skip off to Anderson at some point. For now I have to think about getting these darn boobs into a state of quasi symmetry and then get back to my life. One more surgery and then I put this all behind me. Time to move on!
That is amazing it has already been a year since you started working out! Amazing. I recently got a heavy bag on the stand and a speed bag. I also got a bosu ball. I continue to add to my home gym! I really like it. Yes, there are definitely worse things you could be obsessed with! Deb, I so miss my tight, toned body from my body building days and working out is wonderful. It is one of the greatest things this world has to offer so you carry on with your wicked healthy addiction and I will see you on the cover of "Shape!"
The weather was pretty nice today. I had dinner with my sister and although it is chilly tonight, we are so lucky to be having a nice mild winter so far. Last year was a killer.
Calamtykel: the percussion massager I have is a "Homedics" which are a relatively inexpensive line. The person who gave it to me is cheap so I would have to say it definitely came in under $40! I am just being silly about the cheap part but, more to this point, this thing is an inexpensive wonder!
Kel, that would be wicked cool if you were actually "having" feeling again and that is throwing you off! That would be the best! I hope that is their findings on Thursday. Boy, what a treat that would be! Actually regaining feeling could be making us feel sick!!! Thanks, cancer!
That is great that you and your dh got some alone time! Good for both your souls!Texas: hell yes!!! DUI at noon still drunk from the night before!!!! WHOO HOOO!! I better get myself down to TX sooner, and perhaps permanently, as that is my kind of place!!!!! As for my pain, I find that Cabernet Sauvignon is making it go away!!!!!! BOTTOMS UP!
If I have more cancer problems I am going to hike to Anderson most likely. It is my hope cancer stays away for a while and gives me some space! We need to share this body and it cannot be constantly monopolizing my cells, behaving in a desperate-for-attention manner! Cancer is so petulant, fretful it is not getting enough attention! This needs to be like a time share dammit!
On the TMs, that is basically what the assistant onc (APRN!) told me. I guess they are just not that reliable and can cause concern but they way I understood it is taking them is good because it gives a baseline and then they can be taken again if there is suspicion of cancer. I don't know...sometimes my head swims with all we go through and have to keep track etc.. it is a lot.What is going on with this lice business? My friend had to take her daughter out of some private school for a week because they had to clean up the campus = lice problem. Do you remember getting checked in school w/the tongue depressors? Everyone had to go into the gym. I wonder if the schools are still doing that?
Guys, my sis smokes and I love going to visit but when I get home I open my basement door and have to throw all of my clothes into the basement so as to get them in the washer asap. How can I tell her that smoking is killing me?!
Calamtykel: good luck this Thursday and I hope all is well.
Wherria: good luck with your appt this week. I truly hope all is well.
Mommichelle: happy surgery on the 13th and best of luck with your new boobs, woman!
Finally, I am still jealous that you spent NYE in Cabo but alas I am getting over it, Rachel! Good to hear from you and good luck with your upcoming appointments. Wouldn't it be great for all of us to have a nice 2012?
I have seen Pavarotti (the Garden), Bocelli (the Garden & Hartford Civic Center), The Rolling Stones (Hartford and Keith Richards kept falling off his chair and the first few times we, the audience, thought he died!), Metallica and Guns N' Roses (Meadowlands & Los Angeles) just to name a few and, yes, my musical interest is quite eclectic and these were fairly high end shows. In any case, I was very happy to hear Van Halen is touring again and w/David Lee Roth but was rather dismayed to find out the tickets start at $150!!! I don't think floor for Bocelli cost that! *Start* at $150! My friend called me the dating machine was I was living /working in NY so I rarely paid for a concert ticket but seriously, $150?! I find that very high but I will probably pay anyway. I mean how can I possibly pass up listening to David Lee Roth sing "Runnin with the Devil?!?!" In any event, I am really looking forward to this very expensive concert! Going to Kelly Clarkson this week...she is great. Was excellent live on SNL Saturday night.Ok, girlies, happy trails!
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Liz - just saw pm and replied
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Lizzy - Is yours like a super power percussion? When my chiropractor did it the other day it was like vibrate you off the table and down the street! He did my shoulder area and every time I'd try to talk, it sounded really weird - all vibrating!
I'm reading about different ones on line - some have good reviews, some not.
I have mixed feelings about getting sensation back. Last night I was so itchy - all across my chest, underarm and back and even all over my stomach. I guess winter dry skin..but it's more sensitive in the affected area. I read that some women develop severe pain even a couple of years after a mastectomy, as the nerves are coming back. Praying that doesn't happen - it's all very strange!
Mammo today -- UGH!0 -
Lice- yes i do remember that, we would be taken in one at a time into the nurses office LOL- i dont think they do it as often as they should LOL i have ocd about it and check my daughers hairr at least once every 2 or 3 weeks!
I HAVE TO SHARE THIS WITH Y'ALL!!!!- so yesterday i was using a mandellion to slice veggies for a pizza i was making and after i was done i took the top of (its a small compact one that slices right into a bowl) and i like an idiot grabbed it by the top and it slipped and caught my finger, so now i have a 1/2 inch long gash that open 1/4 inch wide. my husband (who is also a trained EMS) took care of it, and i was acting like i was dying LOL it was pouring out blood and my DH explained that it was NOT an atery so i could calm down LOL it still hurts and i imagine it will take a while to heal LOL just my accident for the day (i truly am accident prone!)
Rachel good to hear from you! Update after your appointments!
Kel- love that visual lol reminds me of that old betty boop cartoon where she was using that exercise thing that vibrates your hips i guess to lose weight LOL
About gaining back feeling i also pray that none of us have that severe pain either. Odd tidbit, when something brushes against my scar area closest to my armpit I feel it more towards where under my nipple should be. Like a good 3 inches off LOL
Quick Poll- Do any of us that had mx have their feeling back compleatly or at all????
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Good Morning everyone!
Texas: OMG, that must hurt like HE**, and unfortunately probably will for a little while. Those slice cuts really do bleed for some reason, so I can understand your hysteria. Lucky you had your beloved EMT there to take care of it, a trip to the hospital would have taken hours. Just make sure you keep it clean and watch for infection. It is not on the mastectomy side, right? Anyways, hope it hurts a little less today. As for the lice, I hate that! Every winter when my kids were in elementary school we would get those notices that lice was in the school...and I was sooo worried they would get it. We used to have to send in garbage bags to put their coats in. Luckily, none of them every got it. Funny, but I even use a towel over the yoga mats at the gym, because I am so obsessed with lice! I hear that the delousing is absolutely dreadful, hope everything is getting back to normal now.
Lizzy: Thanks for the confidence boost. Your home gym sounds fantastic! Are you at a point in your post surgery recovery that you can use it yet? As for Shape magazine, I am still a little ways off. I had four c-sections, so I have a little "pouch" of fat that I don't think I will ever be able to exercise away, and my butt and thighs are still a little heavy. Slowly but surely I am working on it. I might try to save up some money in the next couple of months and see about a couple of sessions with the personal trainer to work just on those areas, but I will see. For now, I have switched over to more circuit training, toning classes, and twice a week..Butt and Gutt class. A little less treadmill work. I like your resolve to just to try enjoy being cancer free. A couple of months ago I made the same decision. And you do really have to make a conscious decision. It is hard at first, but I am really beginning to view myself as the very healthy person that I used to see myself as, and less as a breast cancer patient. I am conscious of the danger, but enjoying every day as much as I can. As for the weather, this is sooo much better than last year. It has gotten colder, but I did go for a four mile walk at 7:30 this morning in a turtleneck and sweatshirt with just sweat pants, it really wasn't bad. I had a colonoscopy this morning (routine) so I hadn't eaten anything of substance since Saturday night, so I didn't want to even attempt going to the gym, thought I might pass out, LOL. But wanted to get my 45 minutes of daily exercise in and it was a really nice way to start the morning. Have a great time at the Van Halen concert, I love them. Don't they have a new single coming out tomorrow too? My sister has seen Kelly Clarkson, she said she is very good in concert, so.. have a great time.
Cal: Hope your mammo went well! Did you mention the itchiness/pain to your surgeon or oncologist, or even their nurse. I am sure they will say it is nothing, but it never hurts to have peace of mind of hearing it from the medical professional, that way you can stop speculating.
Lady: How's it going these days?
Omaz: How are you? How's the driving lessons going?
Ginger: Have you settled in to a routine without your volunteer position? Are you a little more comfortable with your decision to step back?
Well, I hope everyone has a great day!
Debbi
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mammo and ultrasound fine -- all's clear. yay!
ANd it really didn't hurt much this time at all.0 -
Congrats Lizzie & Kel on good test reports.
Texas: I am hurting just from reading about your finger!
All, just dropping by to say hello. I've had the stomach bug all weekend. I am so glad that I had an easy time with chemo, because I don't do nauseous well at all!
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Good evening, warriors!
I cannot believe it is 2012 already! They did a skit on SNL about the Mayan calendar and basically said the world is not going to end but the carver ran out of stone! It was funny.
Well, my liver pain is moving to my back...good times!Calamtykel: On the percussion, surely a chiropractor would have a commercial grade. The one I have is good but it has no AC adaptor so it is just batteries and it seems like it "eats" batteries! I use it for maybe 20 minutes each night and I have gone through 4 batteries (takes 2) in 4 days!!!!!! Not good! So that is my first reco: get one that has a plug! I shopped on Amazon also.
So glad your mammo was clear! That is great news. Geesh...what a scary thing to have to go through again.Texas: I definitely bleed a lot more than I ever did before this bc crap upon even the slightest cut. As for feeling, yes, I definitely have feeling back. In fact, I never lost it w/the node removal etc. The only thing I can say is the affected breast has less feeling than the prophylactic removed.
Sptmm: my new addiction: Dr. Oz!!!! He is keeping me honest! In any case, he had this woman on who, w/some blue laser, was eradicating "pouches" non-surgically. It is like $2K for the zapping but she demonstrated it on a woman and she came back to say it worked. Perhaps Santa will bring you that! I can use my gym but I am so disgusted because in a month I am back in surgery. I will tell you this, however, I am making "the most" of my month. I am using it all! Also, I walked on my treadmill with Shape Ups a few days ago...that is a workout! Van Halen does have something new coming out and I have seen Clarkson and she is fantastic live! Dave Matthews is also good live and speaking of Matthews, my nephews like to accuse me of being a pot head because I like DM!!!!! I had no idea that was the connotation and now it has blossomed into me using my bc to score medical marijuana! I never smoked that stuff!! I play along with them, though, because they get a charge out of it! I am considering starting water aerobics also. I am so glad I don't have any implants because I like going from shower to pool, back to shower and into the sauna!! That is my favorite, esp in Winter, and my Xmas gift to myself this year: a sauna for my home!!!!! You all will never hear from me again!
Lady: I am very concerned about your cute, little dogs!! I hope you are doing well.
Wherria: please post the results of your appointment. Thinking of you.
Well, hopefully all of our lumps and bumps will be benign, liver pains will fade and when the odd thing we used to call sensation comes back, we will be less alarmed one day!
Well, girls, I am starting a series of power yawns!!! Good night all-
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Lizzy - my chiro uses the blue laser! It's a very wide laser - he's used it on my scars, etc. He used it across my chest on the scar and my mast scar is much faded. He used the small red penlight laser on a little round scar on my chest where I had a mole removed. This scar was ugly and very raised and red. Today a few days later it's much flatter and the color is faded! I'm amazed - yes, those laser things can do a lot. He's even lasered organs, etc. good stuff - but the blue lasers are very expensive!
thanks for the percussion info! Yesterday I had a good day - my underarm wasn't tight feeling or swelled. Now today it feels weird again. On my way to the surgeon in an hour and a half...we'll see what she has to say.
I forgot - I do have a homedics percussion thing but it's not a real one. Got it at a garage sale. I didn't realize it was made by Homedics. It says Homedics on it but it's a purple handle with a black spikey ball on it. The ball rolls and it vibrates - it takes two AA batteries and yes, it EATS the batteries! I've been using it - it' just a little thing and I'm sure a bigger one would be better, but it does help when my chest feels "picky" or itchy.
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Hi all,
kel, yay on the mammo results
tex -ouch - I've gotten those cuts, usually when I'm in a rush, they hurt so much
lady, hope you are feeling better. I was thinking of you - I see ps, bs and onc this month. Do you have to follow up with two different onc/surgeons every 3 mos? No wonder you took a break from the gp.
I am sleep deprived! The kids have been playing musical beds all week. It's pretty funny when I wake up b/c Colum has half the bed and the three of us are squeezed into the other half. I think they know nothing wakes him so they stick with me. I'm hoping I can get them back in their own beds so i can get a good night sleep.
We just got a call that we have an outstanding bill for $2200 from when we took the kids to John Hopkins last Feb !! I said that's almost a year ago, and you're calling right after the holidays.The supervisor agreed it seemed odd and he would look into it, but off course said maybe our insurance caused the delay. Whatever, get in line!
Hope everyone has a good weekend
Carolyn
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Carolyn- it sucks -the billing stuff. We have some outstanding things that we're waiting to "hit"...it's scary!
Speaking of which, we checked DH's credit report because we got a notification that his credit card rate will be increased due to a low credit score. SO we check the report. The low score is being caused by a $78 bill and a $234 bill both for him from last year, both paid in March of last year! These will remain on his credit score for SEVEN YEARS! yes, SEVEN YEARS it will affect our abilities to get a loan or decent credit card! Seventy eight FREAKING dollars! Never mind that all the other debts- car loans, etc that we HAVE paid on time! Absolutely not fair.
My credit score is being held back by the $350 one we have in collections - and I have just read on line to NOT EVER pay a collections bill unless you get in writing from the collections company that they will have it removed from your credit score within 45 days! So that was something interesting - it really doesn't matter the amount, by the way, that is in collections, but the number of "things" you have ther.e. So that $78 bill could have been $7800 and our credit would still be affected the same. HOW STUPID is that??
ANYHOW -breast surgeon visit today. She dug the heck out of my armpit with an ultrasound machine and saw nothing suspicious at all. She said there isn't any palpable swelling and that if the back of the shoulder is sore too it's probably a rotator cuff thing since that extends to the front under the arm. She didn't think lymphedema was an issue but to call if I was concerned about anything else.
I'm just glad she cleared the lymph nodes - of course that's our first fear in these cases, but she said she saw nothing..... I'm going to take a nap and treat myself to a big cinnamon coffee here when I wake up!
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Good evening, warriors!
I owe someone an apology!!!!! I can't remember who I recommended "Bad Teacher" to but that movied SUCKED!!!! Seriously, the first time I watched it was at my friend's house and we were doing spa night which means manis, pedis, facials, this traveling "massage" clown (he he he!) and COSMOS! I guess I had a few too many because I watched it again tonight and it was really not good at all! My apologies and I think it was LadyinBama who I recommended it to! Sorry, Lady, as if you don't have enough troubles I tell you a movie is funny (perhaps after several Cosmos!) which was awful!Calamtykel: the credit rating system is a mess. It is all designed to "getcha." I despise credit cards and I am probably one of the last people in the Western Hemisphere who likes to use "cash" for everything. I despise the entire credit game and I am sorry you are going to have those bills on there. I have a credit monitoring service where you can make a note or something in your file. More importantly, I would get on it and keep a journal of contacts. For instance, fax every 5 days until they remove it. Just make sure it is consistent and you keep doing it until they remove it from your report. If it is valid, those are small a$$ bills and a credit, unless trying to be super advantageous, should not even be remotely concerned. Repos, judgements and foreclosures...those are the favorites for jacking rates. Your credit card company are just trying to make some money and unfortunately they scan reports all day looking for reasons to jack rates. I would seriously look at the legislation Obama put through on credit cards because although we are always convinced they are knee-deep in lawyers and know the game so much better than we do, that they are always right, is not the case. They try to "get away" with a lot and I was only pretty sure some of the legislation he passed was about them not being able to increase interest rates in such a manner. All I know is I pay my cards off in full, every month, and they **hate** me! Not making any money on me so they hold my payments for like 7 days! You see, banks/credit card companies make the bulk of their money through interest and trading in the overnight markets. The fees are gravy. #fightthepower!!!!!
Hope everyone is well and happy dreams to all!
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Lizzy -we used to pay ours in full every month too before cancer.
Today I just got a bitch of a call from an agency. The other day she agreed that if we paid the balance they would remove it from my report within 60 days. I am POSITIVE she said this! She said "we will send it to the credit reporting agency and it will take 60 days".
today she called, demanding payment in full. I told her I was waiting for the hospital to send me a refund for a credit that they said they would and then I could pay it. But I wanted someting in writing from them that it would be removed as she said.She denied ever saying it and became super bitchy on the phone! She said No, this will stay on your credit report for seven years regardless if you pay or not. I told her I had four surgeries and chemo and an ER visit - this wasn't fair - and she said "I'm ending this call right now". CLICK!
BITCH! I'm sitting here crying that these places can be so cruel and heartless. I can't believe my credit is ruined - our scores are in the tank simply because of medical bills.This isn't fair - not on top of cancer. ;(
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Saw my MedOnc and she switched me to Aromasin. I hope I have many fewer SE's from it.
I had my mammogram and all is good. Happy dance with that! Doc said my labs are all good too.
Now we will see what adventures aromasin holds in store for me.
While at the Onc's office my 17 Mo old DGD said clearly and slowly, "My name is Zoe." Her first four word sentence and first time I heard her say Zoe. Now if only her name wasn't Diane we'd be in business. JK :P LOL
Feeling good
Ginger
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Damn. No, it isn't fair. It sucks.
liz- I thought Bad Teacher was funny, she says sheepishly.
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Calamity that sucks big time. I once had an office that shared a wall with athe back room of a collections agency. They said terrible, illegal things, to creditors. Remember these people are on commision and are surely miserable human beings who must be desperate to be wasting their human potential.
If you are worried you will be bankrupt, and have to file bankruptcy due to medical bills, it won't be the end of the world. Medical bills are the cause of many bankruptcies and the most easily forgiven by future creditors. You would be okay.
In the mean time try not to talk to these people. I think Lizzie might have more info for you, she is very knowledgable about finances.
I am so sorry that you are being harassed. Can your husband take over the bills for awhile. I asked my DH to do that when I was diagnosed. He did and does and it is a real huge relief for me. Not taking any calls relating to business lets me feel free.
Big hugs
Love Ginger
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ginger- my mom took over our bills for us - DH couldn't navigate it and neither could I. She has them all straightened out and will be loaning us the $ to pay them off and the church offered to help us pay a $1100 one as well.
I'm just devastated that someone could be so mean to someone with cancer. Scr*w her! I'm crying more tears of anger than being upset...if that makes sense.
We won't need to declare bankruptcy, but our credit is ruined for seven years anyhow - now i see why people DO declare bankruptcy! Why pay if it's going to stay on your credit report?
Congress is now trying to pass a law that if you have medical bills under $2500 that that once they are paid, they must be removed from your credit report within 45 days. I hope and PRAY it passes because this SURELY isn't fair. So far, the bill is still in review......as far as I know.Damn - I know this should not eclipse my good news. I'm thankful to be alive - but honestly, it seems like if cancer doesn't get you, they'll try to kill you with the finances and aggravation.
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Dear my lovely warriors!
I hope you are all well. Kel, Carolyn, Deb and I are in a freeze in the NY Tristate! No 60s this weekend
I have to say through this entire battle I never discussed what cancer took from me. As follows: I lost my job (thank you cancer), I lost my sense of well-being (thank you cancer), I lost my hair (thank you cancer), I have constant running nose/blood coming out of nose (thank you cancer), my sense of purpose (thank you cancer) and not the least of which was the between $30,000 and $40,000 I am out over the past 2 years due to cancer and this is the short list. I am single living in CT and although I made a lot of money in my Wall St days, I did not just arbitrarily have that laying around to throw in the fireplace we call cancer. I am doing ok but it leaves you in a whipped up state emotionally, physically and financially it is/can be a total train wreck.
Calamtykel: $2-$3K in medical bills, awful as it is that you are abused by creditors, is nowhere near what some people go through as they are completely wiped out by this disease. To keep yourself away from upset, don't even talk to those creditors. The credit bureaus and credit grantors are all in bed with each other and they love getting these little bills and nailing people and as far as they are concerned, cancer or not, if their accounts are still "living" then they are still up for owing. It is disgusting but don't talk to them anymore. It is the equivalent of putting your head through a wall. As your credit is already dinged and they are all on your credit, it is time for the $5 a month plan. Don't race to pay anything off and whatever money your mother was going to give you, put it in an IRA and buy stock. Grow your money now because they have all but screwed your credit so don't race to part with your money to pay jerks. What I would do is write a letter to the head of the money-hungry hospital explaining there should be some "check and balance" for cancer patients, making sure they are back to gainful employment etc... before there is any turnover of bills. It is ridiculous that our healthcare system provides for ruining of your credit due to health bills so that is why I say don't rush to do anything. I don't want any answers from you about this but if you own your house, sit back and relax and don't worry about a thing. Put those jokers on $5 a month and if they are calling your home phone and you *need* a home phone (for alarm purposes etc..) change it. Also, set up an additional line of service on your wireless plan and going forward have a "bat line" for friends and family and have a "business line" for warranty cards, all credit cards, banks, brokerages, insurance companies etc... Let's face it, legitimate businesses are rarely calling us. It is nefarious creeps so I say take a bifurcated approach to how you let people access you.
FINALLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DON'T LET THE CREDIT BUREAUS KNOW YOU HAD CANCER. That is the worst thing you can do. Not only will it affect your ability to get jobs and credit, it will affect your DH's ability to get jobs and get credit. It is a travesty but on top of cancer, way before Obama, this country's administrations let's banks, brokerages, credit bureaus and insurance companies ATTACK US. We are human ATMs to the machine so please, don't reveal you had cancer. That is like putting a knife through your heart. I would sit down with your DH and decide what, if any, credit relationships you need going forward, concentrate on keeping only those relationships you absolutely need in excellent shape and don't attempt any new credit lines for a few years. Just leave it all alone. Make sure you open an IRA and before you go rushing to divorce those dollars so you can save your credit, forget about it, damage done. Put money in the market and put them on that miserable $5 a month plan. You can also get them out of your hair because they are already on your credit, they are *not* coming off and they will not help you so
DON'T help them. They also can't attack you with phone calls once you are regularly paying them. Finally, don't pay them with checks or credit cards. Pay them with a money order (I know it costs but it costs a lot less than having them have your account numbers.) The really advantageous collection companies like to play the "oops, we accidentally added a zero to your payment...sorry-but you owed us anyway so we are keeping it." Just be careful and if you apply for any credit going forward and anyone asks you about these medical bills, tell them you broke your legs skiing! Seriously, with the cancer business, act like a cat in the litter covering it's shit. I know they like to try to make us feel all "kumbaya" about still being alive and how lucky we are to have beaten cancer. Cancer sucks and that is that----it just plain sucks.
I write "odes to cancer "and I wrote a song about cancer! Largely I do this to entertain myself but make no mistake, we have to hide the fact that we ever had cancer. Be smart, be cautious and finally, don't think that a few dollars in bills is going to "ruin" your credit. Remember one of my fav Twain quotes: I have been through several terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened! Don't let your mind get away from you. If you have any private questions or you want to talk, PM me.
WARNING: to those of you heating with oil, thefts are on the rise. I just put $800 in November and I, as you all know, am a human fireplace (thank you cancer) so I keep my heat on 60 and it has been mild in CT. Guess who I am waiting for now? The oil man. I also went outside to look at where the pipe goes into my home and it seemed like there was fuel marks on the house AND the leaves below the fill pipe smelled of fuel. I am the last house on a dead end and there is a huge bush sheltering anyone with a $15 siphoning kit from all view and, although I can't be positive, research reveals it is apparently a crime that is on the rise. Where do they put it? In a 50 gallon drum, several 10 gallon paint buckets or gas cans! I give up!
Ginger: I am so happy your mammo was clear!!!!! Very good news all around for you! That is LOL hysterical about your DGD!!!!! Perhaps she knows better than you all that her name should be "Zoe!"Adey: My favorite movies are the likes of: Superstar, Dodge Ball, Airplane, Old School and that general group. My friend from Jackson Hole called to castigate me for giving her false hope! Seriously? I had to watch it again. It had its moments but friends who enjoy the same movies I do would be disappointed by the lack of "sharp" comedy in that movie. In fact, the movie industry at large is crying about how less people are going. Well, the prices are going up and quality is going down: go figure! More to this point, they are ending up on HBO and friends as well as at Redbox pretty quick so unless it is compelling, or you are an impatient kid, there is no reason to rush off! If I paid $11 to see "Bad Teacher" in theaters, I would have written asking for a refund! They also could have done a lot more with that movie. I feel there is a lot missing from today's comedies.
Girls, remember, we must be happy we are alive and have the opportunity of being incessantly poured over, thereby blowing more money into the cancer machine, for the rest of our existence....YAY!!!!! My sarcasm is disturbing...I know!!!!
I hope you all have a good weekend-
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