August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
Comments
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ckptry - Happy New Year!!
Tex - Great idea for the career direction change. Brilliant.
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Good evening warriors! HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!
Ckptry: you have no idea how grateful I am to have you, a nurse who worked at MSK, on this thread and I appreciate your advice more than I could ever tell you. OMG.. they are never dismissive in person as I definitely have a tiger in my tank!!! It is more like when I have emailed about a bunch of problems I was having I get that "it has nothing to do with cancer or chemo" bullshit. That is what I mean by dismissive. I just feel after chemo there is a major, major disconnect. It is almost like they are desperate to say you are cured or something? I don't know. In person they always write everything down but I still get the feeling they are trying to paint a rosier picture than is reality. You are right, I will get a second and you encourage my lazy ass with your talk about having to get sitters etc... and go. I will be going.
Tex: she never recovered my bra because she could not get his attention!
Happy trails, all!
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Guys, right after I posted this article popped up:
http://community.breastcancer.org/blog/holiday-stress-breast-cancer-a-challenge/
It is a quick, interesting read. Some good reminders in there!
Ladyinbama: may the force be with you! You had a really, really, really rough 2011, healthwise and personally, and I truly hope 2012 is much, much better for you
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My firend who got Guillain-Barre was over tonight for dinner with her husband. She is walking well with a cane and looks great. It was wonderful to see her making such a good recovery.
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Happy New Year Everyone!
Omaz: Great news about your friend. Very glad to hear that she is recovering so quickly! As for the driving lessons, that is horrible. Your poor daughter, she must have been so nervous. What a way to start out. I am glad to hear that she is back out on the road and that first drive didn't scare her aware. Strong girl. I am not sure if I can stay up to midnight on the pacific coast..LOL...but I will come be around during the night and keep checking in.
Lizzie: I will be sending positive vibes your way on Tuesday, hoping it is all nothing! But I do understand the worry. Try as you might to ignore it, the worry does creep in on occasion. As for the dismisiveness....have you been secretly seeing my onco...LOL. I got the same feeling. Any problem/symptom you mention has nothing to do with chemo or the Tamoxifen, it is very frustrating. Its like you are now taking up valuable time in their practice for no reason. I actually changed to another onco in the group, who is better, but still a little aloft. I really miss the nurse practitioner I saw during the chemo...she really listened to everything you had to say and explained...unfortunately she left the practice. I have found a good PCP however who I think is going to work out well. He pays attention and shows an appropriate amount of concern, but doesn't overtest, if you know what I mean. NYC on New Years Eve...you are brave! I hope you have a wonderful night....this is going to be a better year, for all of us!
Tex: Switching your major seems to be a very responsible and intelligent choice. You will still be doing a lot of good to a disadvantaged community, but not at the expense of your own children. Very smart!
Carolyn: Your advice really is right on. Unfortunately the one thing that I have learned is to be vocal and forceful when I disagree. There have been several times where I had to ask medical professionals for things that they later agree I should have been scheduled for right away. I have learned to be proactive in my care, and not to assume that all the doctor's know everything or are always right. How was the kids Christmas? Did Santa bring them what they wanted?
Ok, time to go to bed. I have had a rough couple of weeks, going to bed relatively late (11:00) every night. Unfortunately this is no longer okay for the post chemo me. I am like a walking zombie, literally falling asleep at stop lights on my way home from work..ARRRGGGHHH. And the stupid onco just keeps telling me to be patient, it takes a while to bounce back. But I am off now for the next 3 days and looking forward to some sleep in mornings and early to bed nights. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Debbi
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Happy New Years Eve everybody, Ginger
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Thanks Lizzie, yes, 2011 truly sucked.
Happy 2012 everybody! I'm staying in tonight, first because I hate to be out with the drunks on New Years Eve, and second because it is my Auburn Tigers last game of the year. They are playing in the Chick-fil-a bowl tonight. So War Eagle all!
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Happy New Years Eve my lovely warriors!! You all fought the good fight this year and we are all still kickin' so a collective GOOD FOR US is in order!!
Tex: I feel moderately treasonous for announcing your major change that you communicated to me in PM...I am sorry! I did not mean it. I really feel bad. You should have been able to make your announcement when you were ready. I hope you accept my apology.
Tex, question: how come you never went to Anderson? Perhaps I am wrong and you do go to Anderson. I just found out they are the #1 cancer hospital in the country. Then again I am starting to remember when I talked of meeting up with you when I was supposed to go to TX in the fall, you are as few hours from Houston. About going to TX, probably in the Spring so we will meet up. I am looking forward to meeting up with you. We will make a day of it! Trouble, Inc. traveling around TX together...we might end up on that joker Perry's watch list!!!!!!!
Omaz: the scariest story I heard last year was your friend with Guillain-Barre Syndrome. I was stunned. I am so glad they were over for dinner and she is walking with a cane and doing much better. It is still, however, scary that the syndrome relegated her to the state she is in right now and details about causes are negligible. I am very happy for her just the same. I still just can't believe it. Scary stuff, indeed. May she have a much better 2012 with 100% recovery in order!
I hope your dd is getting better with stick! So much fun to be driving...she must be having a blast!
Sptmm: your post made me LOL at the idea that I might be seeing the same onc as you were! I am glad you made a change to another. If I have mets off to MSK I go.
I am hoping we have under 2 surgeries this year! That would be a huge gift for both of us, sad as it sounds! If I have mets, however, well....we know the story there! I will probably exceed 2 surgeries in January! Hopefully that is NOT the case!
Ckptry: I continue to be in awe of all that you handle with your children, challenging the "get in the middle or else" mentality in the public school system and keep yourself together at the same time. I am in awe of everyone on this thread, as I am the only one without children, who have gone through this battle and had to look in the eyes of your little ones and know that you had to reach deep inside and fight very hard to battle this disease for their sake. I don't know how you, and everyone else here, has handled all that has come your way. It all speaks to, and is very much indicative of, human nature at its very finest. As always, I have to thank you for your insight along the way as it was a total blessing. May 2012 be easier in every way for you.
Ladyinbama: my BIL who died this past February was a very good hearted guy. His brother, on the other hand, pretty much a self-centered jerk. My sister just saw him a few days ago and he said he separated from his wife and that she threw him out etc... Well my sister knows how he is so she called his soon-to-be ex to find out what was going on. She is STAGE 3 and her prognosis is not good. It turns out he was not taking her to any appointments and was being indifferent ie: mentally abusive through her entire cancer battle. Finally she threw him out because she was disgusted. When he told my sister the story, however, he never mentioned she was Stage 3 and not well. My sister is 10 years older than I and her BIL is 55. At 55 he is acting like a pathetic sack. They reap what they sow, lady, and there is no gift in store for such blatant disregard of a soul. I think I told you my father had a friend whose wife left him when he was dxd. There is a special place in hell for these people. I wish you the best and onwards and upwards, my friend! A much better 2012 and may you find a man, if you so choose, who values the soul over the body. They are indeed very rare but are out there. Make a list of what you want in a partner and check it twice. The first alarm, walk away. Don't waste your time and treat all dates like interviews. I wish you the best!
Calamtykel: your battle with the terrible SEs from tamox was awful. I am glad you found vindication in learning exactly why that was happening. It feels good to know you are not going crazy. Your battles with the health insurance nonsense in NJ was cumbersome as well. May 2012 bring you less insurance hassles, better health and may no idiots from FB ever judge you again!
Ginger: may you continue to have wonderful times with your dgd and dd! I hope you have cleared out your sewing room and are still taking your class. More importantly, may you feel better and stronger in the coming year.
Adey: I hope you are enjoying your new boobs and you have a great NYE! our experience has been very much sympatico and in this I took solace on more than one occassion.
Wherria: I know you pop in and out on us but I want to tell you I hope 2012 brings you back to your running roots! I hope you are well and best of luck to you in the new year.
As it turns out, 2010 we were all dxd except Rachel who I think was dxd initially in 2009. 2011 was pretty much a year of clean-up from the dx, chemo, surgeries and all the "omg, did it spread?" terrifying moments. Hopefully 2012 will be the year we make peace with hopefully having moved beyond bc and hit our stride with this whole matter.
Finally, to all our "viewers," I hope you have found help, understanding, hope, information and a sense that you are not alone. You don't have to post but I am very happy that, in some way, you have found our posting interesting enough to read and, in this electronic way, it is my hope our reach has far exceeded our grasp.
I wish you all happy times and a very good holiday weekend and may the FORCE BE WITH YOU!0 -
May the force be with YOU Lizzy!!! A big hug to you this New Year's Eve for all that you do to keep us together. Best wishes for the new year. Omaz0
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I am about five minutes early, but I am exhausted and can't wait to get to bed so.....
HAPPY NEW YEAR to the greatest group of women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing!
Debbi
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Happy New Year Debbi!!0
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It is here!!!! 2012! Good times, ladies! Let's hope...!
Sptmm: off to bed early?! I am not sorry to say I woke up at 3! Good times!
Omaz: thank you as I do need the force with me! Good point! I hope you had a good NYE.
Lady: check your pms.
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
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Omaz: Ditto. Lizzie is a true fearless leader!!!
War Eagle, my team won big last night. I went to church this a.m. and had the Lord's Supper/communion, so maybe God will have mercy and give me a better 2012 (that is unless the Mayans are right and it all ends anyway)
Love all you ladies.0 -
Happy New Year to all my chemo sisters!
I must apologize, reoccurance fears have kept me to myself for a while and I try not to get on the boards because I always seem to have the same pains someone else had right before they were diagnosed with a reoccurance. Not sure if any of you feel the same or have those issues. I have been to see a counselor last week for the first time. Hope she can give me some tools to deal with my fears. I have DIEP surgery scheduled on the 13th of January so I am gearing up for that! I think of you all so frequently and keep you all in my prayers. Let's all hope for a beautiful, worry free, healthy 2012!
I'll be popping in again!
Hugs,
Michelle
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Good morning warriors!
I am having some of my luscious hot flashes and have thrown in the towel on sleep! I am now here visiting this site which is always open!
I hope you all are doing well and had nice holidays.
Mommichelle: we all have those miserable recurrence fears. It is quite natural and don't let that keep you away. I am curious to find how you like seeing a social worker. I have my MRI tomorrow and it will, of course, tell more about the mass they found this summer. In any case, if it is mets I know I am definitely going to start talking to a social worker or the like asap. Even if I don't have mets I might start because I am finding it a bit difficult to deal with the fact that there are no absolutes and the way I feel about not knowing what is going on is driving me berserk!
It was good to hear from you again and I am will be sending you the most positive vibes on January 13th! Best of luck and I hope you and your family have a great coming year!
One thing I am surprised about as I have this awful boob tube on in the middle of the night is that "Trojan" is now advertising vibrators on E!!!! When did that become OK?! Oh...I better go read a boring book that will hopefully be the alphabet anesthesia I need right now!
I hope you all are having sweet dreams while I am busy trying to cool down from my trip to the imaginary equator! I was so startled as I went out on my front porch to cool off and my neighbor was heading to work! All of the sudden I heard noise and there went the headlights and meanwhile I have been barely able to get 1 hour sleep! I have no idea where he is going at this hour but apparently duty calls!
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How did you test go today Lizzie?0
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Omaz: I went and they actually did my pelvis as well so I guess they are checking ovaries. I have the MRI disc here but a lot of good that will do me! I will have the paper report that accompanies the disc by Thursday. Here's to hoping!
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Sending positive vibes your way Lizzy!
Debbi
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Thinking about you Lizzie. I sure hope all is well for you.
Hugs GInger
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Good evening warriors!
Omaz, sptmm and ginger: thank you all for thinking of me. I will keep you posted and let's hope I have nothing much to post! I have my MRI disc but I put it into my computer and immediately took it out because I will only spook myself with my untrained eye looking at those blasted images!
Night all-
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hope everything is fine Lizzy!
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Good evening my lovely warriors!
I hope you all are doing well and are feeling optimistic about this coming year
As it turns out, my MRI was negative but that does nothing to explain the tremendous pain in the liver region. The other night I felt such sharp pain in my liver area I nearly doubled over. What I can't seem to figure out is how a sonogram done in July showed, and I quote the radiologist:"There is an area in the right lobe of different texture measuring 2.7cm. This probably represents focal sparing but I cannot exclude the possibility of hepatic mass." Why is it that this "mass" does not show on an MRI or CT scan but showed on a *sonogram?* Something is not making sense. What would you all do? These tests are very oddly not showing anything. Also, the disk they gave me after the MRI does not play for whatever reason in my computer, my sisters' nor my friends' computers.
This sonogram report also refers to "paranchymal liver disease." Parenchymal" liver disease just means that they do not have a clue what is causing the problem and what ever it is that is damaging the functional cells of the liver.
I would not be concerned if this was my leg or my ass or neck but we all know bc likes to spread to brain, bones, liver and lungs. Those are its hot spots. How could this mass be "hiding" on CT scans but apparent on a sonogram? There is something wrong here, people. I would very much appreciate your opinions.
Before the question is even asked, no one has ordered AFP blood work and as Carolyn asked about my "tumor markers," those have not been tested either.
If I felt better I would be happier but I just don't.
Thanks in advance, girls-
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Lizzie - Check out the description here Biliary Pain or Colic does that sound like what you are experiencing?0
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Omaz: it is right quadrant, that is for sure. My bilirubin is within range. I guess whatever it is is going to make itself known eventually. I still do not understand, but will get to the bottom of, why something would show up on a sonogram but not CT or MRI. My sister, who has had 6 kids, is all too familiar with ultrasound/sonograms. She said they are a jumping off point and if something is found on a sonogram it will definitely show on an MRI. I think we really need socialized medicine so we can get the malpractice lawyers out of the equation and get rid of the doctors that are in it for the money and only then will we truly have "health *care*" in this country. In the interim all we have are a preponderance of money grubbers looking to avoid lawsuits.
The woman who did my sonogram is the one who found my bc. She did the same thing with that wand running over and over that spot and what really bothers me is she had a student with her and although I could see the screen myself and I saw what she had found, she had a student with her from a local university who was "apprenticing" with her. It is the look that was on that woman's face that haunts me as I watched her stare at that screen. She looked petrified.
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Lizzie - What do they do after the MRI? Can they do a PET scan or something?0
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Do they need to do the other tests with contrast?
My DD had Pancreatitis about 9 years ago at 23, and no cause was ever found. she was in Cedars Sinai in LA for a week or so, and the specialist who was working with her called in a specialist who works with cases of unknown origin. They never ever found the cause. She really wanted a cause so she could avoid whatever it was.
I am sorry they can't tell you a cause and the pain continues. Maybe you will want to write on another thread where peoople with more experience can help you think this through.
Hugs
Ginger
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Hi Ginger ! How is your hair coming along?0
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When I worked in NYC I dated someone in the healthcare field. He was a huge partier...very funny guy! In any case, I called him tonight and he made a very, very good point: if it is mets it has to have reached a certain size to be found on an MRI or CT scan. I guess what comes next is it becomes big enough, and I get sick enough, for it to be found by a scan or I don't drop dead and I just carry on! Who knows....I think it is just one of those frustrating things. I am adamant something is wrong but what it is only god knows.
My brother lives 20 minutes from Anderson. I might just take off with my records and see if someone can help me put this together. I am going to wait to see how I feel in a few days about this whole matter.
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Omaz, my hair. Ai yi yi. I cut some of it off and it is much closer to straight now after being insanely curly. I think I need to go get a profesional hair cut. My hair seems thinner than before and I am sure the anastrozole isn't helping. I am hoping it goes back to its natural curl. I don't even own a comb, I just finger curl my hair and am good to go. I am thinking I do need to buy a comb for now anyways.
How is your hair? How are you in general. Our houseguests just left so I am pretty well behind on everything.
I go for my scheduled mamogram next week on Thursday and see the MO. I will almost certainly be going back on Anastrozole (Arimidex) and while I know it is important I hate the idea of all the pain coming back again along with serious brain fog. My mind is clearer than it has been since before chemo. I still hurt in my hands and to some extent in my knees but the pain when I went on vacation from the drug had been really severe. I am hoping I am in the 45% who have fewer side effects when they go back on the drug. Fingers crossed, say a prayer.
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Lizzie,
Thinking about you and hoping you do get to the bottom of this. It is very frustrating to not have answers, to feel as though something isn't right, but no one can tell you what is wrong. It is a little reassuring that the MRI was clear. Have they thought to do another sonogram?
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