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Ladies in their 30s

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  • Jamie30
    Jamie30 Member Posts: 17
    edited July 2011

    BTW, some insurance companies actually cover infertility and ivf.  My insurance does and I could write everything off on my taxes.  I am lucky enough to alreay have my 3 boys and do not plan on having anymore but I did see that listed in our coverage if needed.

    We have BC/BS through my husbands work.

  • maryann77
    maryann77 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2011

    I will be seeing my PS in August regarding DIEP. What I do know about it is the abdonmen is only one 3 areas that they can remove skin, fat from. It can be taken from the buttocks and upper thighs. I am opting to go this route but probably have it removed from the butt or thigh. I do hear that implants are not like they use to be. And everyone is different on how they tollarate it.I have only heard of good things about implants,even on the t.v show"The Doctors". Good luck! Hugs

  • spinsight
    spinsight Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2011

    Jamie30, maryann77,  thank you for your reply, which ease me a lot.  I decide to settle down to the implant.

    Before found the breast cancer, I was struggling to get pregnant. My husband and I  desperately  want a baby since both of us are over 30. My surgeon suggested me freezing the embryo before chemo in case I wont ovulate anymore after the treatment. I know this could happen because my ovaries stop working now and then in recent years.  I also have the BCBS through my husband work. It seems like that you must try some non-costly methods before you turn to IVF and the IVF should be the option when the other ways fail. That is the reason why I am not sure if the insurance will cover or not.  I am think of getting pregnant first and postponing the chemo till the baby is born. My cance is not sensitive to hormone. anyone thinks it is possible? 

  • ksmatthews
    ksmatthews Member Posts: 743
    edited July 2011

    spinsight- i dont think I would put off treatment for that period of time.  Cancer can be aggressive.  If you dont get pregnant after treatments, you could always adopt.  Just my opinion though.

  • maryann77
    maryann77 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2011

    I'm with ksmatthews on this one. I wouldn't put off treatment any longer than you have to. You are number one right now. I'm sure that it must be a difficult decision to make, but I know that if I was to choose it would be to continue on with treatment first. Hugs!

  • Jamie30
    Jamie30 Member Posts: 17
    edited July 2011

    I also agree.  I would not put off treatment.  As bad as you may want a child, putting off treatment means that your health would suffer.  So in the long run who would take care of the child if the delay caused issues for you.  I would have my eggs removed and then try to use them after treatment or I would adopt.  There are alot of kids who need parents.

  • blondelawyer
    blondelawyer Member Posts: 104
    edited July 2011

    I also agree that I would not put of treatment to have a baby...it is too much time.  I had my eggs harvested before I I started chemo and had them frozen.  It was expensive, but it was worth it to have the chance to have a baby when I am done with all of this.  I recently lost my husband and with the diagnosis of breast cancer it made sense to me.  I had to make my decision really quickly because I started chemo fairly soon after the dx.   

    Best wishes with your decisions! 

  • maryann77
    maryann77 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2011
    Blondelawyer, so sorry about your husband. I read your blogs and your a very good writer. I can hear the emotions that you portray in your writing and they are very heartening. I couldn't help but cry through some of them. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like.All the best to you! Hugs!Smile
  • blondelawyer
    blondelawyer Member Posts: 104
    edited July 2011

    Thanks MaryAnn.

  • spinsight
    spinsight Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2011

    Thanks for all the advices.  blondelawyer, sorry for your loss. Hope you can get through all these tough things and everything will be just fine. Hugs.

     As the reason you guys said, My plan can't work on my surgeon. I know this is for my own health. The chemo will begin in August, which makes IVF necessary.  The only problem is IVF doctor asked me to pay 5000 in advance, just like deposit, in case the insurance company won't pay for it. Now I am really worried about the finance and afraid the IVF office wont help me appeal against any bad decision that the insurance company could make since they can have the deposit from me. anyone has the same experience as me? I have the comprehensive PPO plan administered by blue cross bule shield.

  • TreadSoftly
    TreadSoftly Member Posts: 88
    edited July 2011

    Lisa (blonde lawyer) - I just read your blog, and as MaryAnn says, you are a really good writer.  Gessner sounded like the most amazing guy in the world!!  Wishing you all the best through your treatment, thinking of you xx

  • aimska
    aimska Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2011

    HI spin!  I just finished IVF yesterday and had my eggs harvested.  what does the 5000 cover?   for me, it was 6200 and that covered everything, dr visits, bloodwork, sonogram, anesthesia, operation, etc.  The medication is expensive also, but through livestrong, cancer patients get the medication for free.  Be prepared for blood test and sonogram every 2 days plus daily injections in your belly.  Hope all goes well, please keep us posted with your progress!

  • Meekone
    Meekone Member Posts: 30
    edited July 2011

    Hey Ladies just checking back in, I finished with all of my chemo treatments on 6/13 now awaiting my exchange surg on 7/20.  I my gosh what a year, what a year indeed.  Will begin with my Tamox for the next five years after the exchange surgery.  Son starts his senior year in a couple of weeks, boy time flys when you are having fun.  On a personal note, for hte most part been handling everything well I would guess. 

    It seems like from reading the post most of the women appear to be married with children.  I must say that has been heavily on my mind, the whole dating thing....I want to get back out there so bad, but everything has changed so much I dont even know where to begin.

  • aimska
    aimska Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2011

    Hi Mieko, congratulations on finishing chemo treatments!  wow I'm sure you're feeling like a million bucks!  :)  I'm 30 years old and divorced.. you should definitely get back into dating, why not???  If you're still kind of uneasy about it, try online (like something free - for now, like okcupid or plentyoffish).. just to browse profiles and see what's out there!  good luck with everything.. keep me posted! :)

    Amy

  • Meekone
    Meekone Member Posts: 30
    edited July 2011

    Thanks Ms. Amy, I am trying.....lurked around on the Internet sites and actually got a lot of feeback and interest from guys, spoke to some of them via email however when they would forward their phone numbers or ask for mine I would chicken out.....so I deleted my profile.  It has just been scary you know?  Deep down inside I keep telling myself I should wait until after my exchange or until my hair comes back.....but I know that is silly.  Not down about it at all, just extremely unsure.  Think the online thing makes it worse, feel like I am not being honest with my presentation of who I am because ....they can not tell it is a wig from pics amongst other things.  Does that make sense?

  • aimska
    aimska Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2011

    Happy Friday gorgeous ladies!!   hope everyone is in good spirits today.. :)

  • blondelawyer
    blondelawyer Member Posts: 104
    edited July 2011

    Meekone: congrats on finishing chemo!  yay!

  • Jamie30
    Jamie30 Member Posts: 17
    edited July 2011

    Havent been in here in a while.  Just did my second chemo yesterday.  I am doing Cytoxan and Taxotere. 

    Congrats on those finishing chemo!  I cant wait to get there!

    Hope everyone has a great day today!

  • whisperingwolf
    whisperingwolf Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2011

    I am 30, and I am just not ready to start dating again.

    I've never been married, but was engaged once. I would love to be married someday, and to adopt kids if everything is right for that to happen.

    But right now, it's all I can do to keep myself sane, and I don't want to enter into a relationship and expect my boyfriend (or even a date) to deal with me. I dont even want to deal with me LOL

    I think, if you want to meet someone on a dating site, do it! Don't worry about wearing a wig, or having expanders vs implants vs anything; if the guy you meet is decent & caring, he won't care. It's not misleading: it's you! And right now you're wearing a wig, and have expanders in. It's not as if you're posting a picture of someone else! I understand the nervousness though for sure.

    I think it will be a while before I'm ready to date again. My rads (7 weeks) start Wednesday; maybe I'll hold out some hope of meeting a doctor or medical person or even patient and falling in love ... what a story that'd be :D

  • whisperingwolf
    whisperingwolf Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2011

    Enjoy your time at the pool and your maragarita!

    I hope it's not mets, but if it is, things have changed so much, my oncologist told me, that a mets from BC is now more like a chronic/ongoing condition than a terminal one.

    My onc. knows people who've been around 15-20 years after diagnosis of the mets ( and he's talking about much older people, so the time frame he gives is based on someone being, say, 75 at time of diagnosis -- so isn't likely they will well, be around, after that 20 years from some other cause - so isn't even a time limit imposed by the BC itself ).

    I have those friends too, who ignore the texts, emails, calls - they don't know what to say, they are afraid - who knows. I am glad you vented - and I agree with you; friendship can't be one-sided!

    If it were to be mets (which I'll be praying it isn't!), maybe you'll find just the right guy who loves you and doesn't give a damn if you're a chronic cancer patient or not - he'll just love YOU.

  • mightymon
    mightymon Member Posts: 7
    edited July 2011

    Hi Hadley,

    I hope too that it's not mets. I also agree BC SUCK! I got lucky last year just before I'm turn 30, find a lump by accident. Had surgeries, chemo and 5 weeks of radiation now currently on lovely Tamoxifen.

    I'm also had start to develope some pain in my back and rib, that really get me worry. Hopefully this is the side effect of Tamoxifen. It's just the very mind pain, come & go. I'm start to get back to training again (i'm a runner and triathlete) so I might be over doing there. 

    I'm was due for CT scaning at the end of this year but I don't think I can wait that long, sign :0( 

  • shevawn
    shevawn Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2011

    Hi, all.

     I'm  brand new here. I was diagnosed just over a month ago with invasive lobular carcinoma. I had a lumpectomy a week after diagnosis. Just found out my Oncotype score is 16, with 10% chance of distant recurrence. 

    Has anyone else had similar Oncotype results & if so, what did your oncologist recommend as far as treatment? I don't meet with onc until next week & the waiting is KILLING ME!!

    Every step is a hurdle... I believe it will all be fine. I just wish it would hurry up & be fine...

  • aimska
    aimska Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2011

    Welcome Shevawn!  I'm sorry you had to join our group :( wow, just a week after diagnosis you had surgery?     are you scheduled to start chemotherapy or radiation?  

  • shevawn
    shevawn Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2011

    I go to see onc next Tuesday - 8/2. That's what's making me CRAZY. Not knowing what is coming next. I'm prepared for the worst possible scenario, but I just want to KNOW!! I hate having so much information and being unable to do anything with it.

    I've heard lots of women complain about the delay to see the oncologist for initial appt. I suppose it's because they're so busy with so many cancer patients! Such a sad reality... :(

    I'm trying to find others with similar Dx & Onc Score to see if their onc recommended chemo+rads+hormone therapy - since we're so young. Otherwise, I think they'd only suggest rads+hormones...

     Thx so much for writing. It does suck to join this group, but I'm confident this journey will make me an even stronger woman! :)

  • aimska
    aimska Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2011

    Shevawn.. I'm sure they are working on your treatment plan.. Aug 2nd is right around the corner!   :).  I'm surprised your surgeon wasn't able to give you some more information as to whether or not chemo/radiation would be necessary.  I had my surgery on 5/17 and didn't meet with my oncologist til 6/7.   Give yourself time to heal..  take care dear, keep us posted on your onc visit!

  • silviazara
    silviazara Member Posts: 15
    edited July 2011

    Shevawn, my oncotype was 14 and I didn't do chemo.... I don't know if that is any help to you, since everybody's diagnosis and treatment is different.

  • shevawn
    shevawn Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2011

    Thanks so much! It is finally closer - they called me today to remind me of my appointment. :) Only 3 more days. My surgeon told me that bc of my age, chemo is definitely still an option but wanted to defer to my onc & the oncotype test results.

    I was just hoping to connect with others who share a similar diagnosis & similar oncotype score, who are also in their 30s. 

    Stay tuned! 

  • shevawn
    shevawn Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2011

    silviazara - do you have any children? lumpectomy, I assume?

    That does sound like good news. Thx so much for sharing! :)

  • silviazara
    silviazara Member Posts: 15
    edited July 2011

    shevawn - yes I have a child and no, I opted for a bilateral mastectomy. I didn't do chemo or rads. Just a surgery followed by Tamoxifen. It will be 2 years soon, yey!!! Soon there will be an option to take a break from Tamox to have another baby. I am so excited just to think about it, even though my onco  recommends 3 years on Tamox before taking a baby break.

    I hope you won't be doing chemo. Let us know, your appointment is around the corner. 

  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 21
    edited August 2011

    Hi there , Im 33 and recently found out I have cancer cells in a lump I found on my breast, the doctor basically phoned and said they found cancer, and I would meet with the surgeon to discuss my options. Talk about being lost, Im so scared! I have a beautiful daughter who will be turning five in a couple of weeks, and my husband and I were trying to get pregnant the week before I found out, ( this was part of my five year plan) , I now feel like my whole life has played a bad trick on me. I don't know how to feel , and what to think, my mom has stage five breast cancer, and is doing great after being diagnosed two years ago. She is the strongest women I know , and told me about this site. This is a great site, but I still feel so alone , is this normal because I feel like Im having a pitty party for myself?

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