Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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Thanks for the responses and welcome misswim. Question: Anyone else with DCIS that wasn't referred to an oncologist? It may be early since I haven't seen my surgeon post-op yet, but he didn't mention seeing one after he called with my path report. I will request to anyway, but just wondering anyone else's experience.
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Hi all-
I have lurked on this board a little but thought I would join in the conversation. I am 38 with 2 daughters and a wonderful husband. I had a mx in February and am almost done with chemo. I start rads in July.
Regarding kids coping: my daughters (7&8) have done pretty well with all of this. I would recommend checking for some books at the library that you can read together; there are a few out there about mommy losing her hair and having to take medicine that makes her sick. They have been very good conversation starters.
When I told my girls I would lose my hair, the first response my daughter referenced an episode of the TV show Arthur (cartoon) where a character had cancer! It was good to meet them at their level of familiarity.
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MaxineO- I am also 38 (thus the name LOL) and have 1 daughter. When I had my hair cut 13" off she cried.
My daughter has a great attude threw this whole thing. She has read several library books about cancer. She understands the chemo threw something we got from ACS call 'chemo shark' it seems to make some sence.
Candice
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Hello All,
My name is Michelle, I was 35 when diagnosed Stage IIIb. I too thought maybe it was milk (clogged duct) but I was wrong. I'm now 36 and just finished chemo and working through rads. I'm a single mother to 4 kids (boys are 15, 13, and 7 and my lil' princess is 2 going on 3 this Aug). Chemo was HARD on me. I experienced every side effect there was so I hope that rads is alot easier on me. I had a bilateral mastectomy. I had the expanders put in but at the end of Nov 2010 my left one had to be removed due to a fungal infection and my right one was removed in Feb 2011 due to constant infections.
There are way too many women diagnosed with Breast Cancer. But we are all strong (atleast I try to be). Lately, it's been getting harder to be strong.
Thank you all for reading this.
Michelle
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Welcome MaxineO and ShellyAngel75! This is a great place for support!!! Shelly- I am also 36, dx a couple days after my birthday back in Jan!!
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Glad your joining MaxineO and ShellyAngel75 this website is a wonderful resource!
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Thanks soo much ladies. The surg onc went over the path report line by line with me. The first meeting with the onc was actually exactly a week after my surgery. It was a very positive meeting and she was very optomistic prognosis wise. She participated in some of the research when the Oncotype DX test was being tested and felt it important to order it in my case. She was very clear thay if I hit the high end of low risk, intermediate or high anywhere, chemo was not negotiable amd that I should wrap my mind around it. Trying! Any tips on how to prepare, what to expect? No hercertin for me, we have talked about 4 x a/c, then tamox, lupron for a year or teo, hysterectomt, then moving on to AI's. Just so nervous. But, was terrified of my BMX and I am ok. One day at a time I guess., On a happy note, I pulled out clothes I have not worn in ages tonight afraid that the DD's whuch have been replaced by a big B would look awful. Instead, the few dresses and a bathing suit I tried on looked great. A small, insignificant moment, but very empowering. So glad for these boards and you girls! Any further tips would be greatly appreciated. I'll seee the med onc the 15th and update
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Hey misswim- Don't get yourself worked up over chemo. I am so sorry that it was so difficult for you shellyangel. What is crazy is that just the way bc seems to strike at random, chemo reactions are also random. It has been NO picnic, for sure, but it is doable. You will be amazed at what you can endure, unfortunately. I have one chemo left. I will admit, I am THRILLED to be almost done and I never want to do it again, but now I know that there is the other side! I have worked through chemo and have two kids. If you can't, don't be hard on yourself. We are all different, but we will all get through this.
shellyangel- this is so ridiculously hard to get through. Add in children, and it's twice as hard. Some days I get so down on the whole thing. Every success story helps. I talked to a woman just the other day who is 7 years out; she was also stage 3, like me, and it made my day.
Candice- one of my daughters (7) has been obsessed with my hair. She fully expects that the day after my last chemo (next Thursday!) I will miraculously sprout hair! It has been hard on her; she is not good at expressing her feelings, so I think it has been a struggle.
Thank you all for the nice welcome! It's great to have such support.
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Got my drains out today and my first fill! Very happy and now a bit sore! But it didn't hurt at all getting the drains out, but the fill on the left, that needle felt like a hornet! The right must be lower, didn't feel anything. Overall, not bad at all! Everyone have a great weekend!
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Good Positive Attude Message:
Doctors Orders- eat ice cream with lots of toppings, eat shakes with cookies, eat cookies, have whipped heavy cream on things or in them. Eat Pizza. Eat cake, eat frosting. Eat lots of fats and proteins!!
So I have doctors orders to eat all the fatten foods I want!!!
I guess that is a positive thing.
Candice
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I returned to work today after recouping from my bmx. In the month between diagnosis and surgery, I was a complete wreck. I defnatley let things go at work and knew going back there would be some dicussion. Luckily, I have kind boss who told me a talk was coming but that he was totally understandng and just to take it for what it is, and use my time there more wisely now that I am on my treatment path (mind you, I am 37, when I was dx'd I was scared shitless, and you bet I spent more time researching the beast in my body I knew nothing about than working). I figured I'd get a five minute break to digest all this and I was wrong. The office manager on the war path hit me with her list of things that I did wrong in the weeks before "my personal problem". I was stunned, but funny, not hurt. It reminded me that it's a job, the place that pays my medical insurance, and that is all it is. So that is what it will be. Go in, do my job, and leave. No more worrying about it when I am not there. What I was dissapointed in is that this woman has a husband who was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer last year; and she is a brain cancer survivor. So how in the world do you show ZERO compassion when you know just where I have been? That is just a bad person...... Has anyone ever encountered this treatment?
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misswim: Sorry you have to be having a hard time at work, I haven't experienced it myself, but I know it would be hard.
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Missswim.
I am sorry that you had to deal with that. The way she acted almost sounds like she thinks you are lieing about having Breast Cancer.
Candice
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Sorry misswm. Instead of all mean or all nice, I get very mixed expectations at work. Sometimes my boss takes it easy, other times, he acts like I should be on top of my game. I hope things improve for you.
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Hello everyone. I'm sure glad that there is a thread where I can connect with others the same age. A little about myself; I'm 34 years old married with 2 children(8 and 5) Was diagnosed last March. Had a mast. and started chemo in April. After that I started radiation in Sept. till end of Oct. Just resently had a oopherectomy and am now on arimidex. Will be meeting with plastic surg. for reconstuction in Aug. This sure has challenged me in ways that I'm not sure how I even got through it. It's nice to hear from everyone!
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Hi all!
I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy of my right breast at age 36. Now I am 38, still single and unmarried but dating. I still hold out hope of marrying my soulmate and having children. Anyone have experience with post-treatment pregnancy?
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Welcome Maryann77 and JenXX!
So happy to hear all the PS saying we can go braless! Can't wait! I'm thinking a tank top sounds great!
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Thanks for the welcome, Mommyrnx2! Don't give up hope JennXX on marrying your soulmate and one day having children. I was told when I was younger that I may never be able to have children because I was anorexic for many years. So I met my husband and I never gave up hope in having children. And now I have 2 wonderful children, Hunter 8 and Alyssa 5. I thank God everyday for them because now I really can't have any(had an oopherectomy). So don't give up!!
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Hi ladies, I am 37 yrs (will be 38 july 3rd 2011) I was diagnosed with BS on 4/27; it came as a somewhat shock because I have no family history etc so I was a wreck at the beginig; I am doing so much better now. I have 2 small kids (4.5 girl and 3yr boy) and a loving husband; we've been maried 8 yrs. I had a lumpectomy and will be starting chemo 2nd week of july. I am so glad i found this thread and can connect with you ladies who are my age and have small kids also. I feel like I am living 2 lives - the normal, regular one where i go to work, take care of kids, lead a regular normal life AND the one where I am a BC patient, feeling sad sometimes, angry, lonely) I keep telling myself this will pass; I prya alot and it helps me. I am also fortunate and blessed to have a very supportive family and my work mates and my boss are also very very understnading and supportive.
I try and compose myself with my kids and try and be and act normal, they are small and i dont want to worry them.. I told them that mommy is sick and will be going through some treatment soon and that they have to be extra nice:-)
Thanks for listening.
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hi snoopy welcome, this place helps as to know that we r not alone, although sometimes it may feel that way, I finished 8 cycles of chemo and double mastectomy, believe me u can do it! I know it sounds so easy to say but trust me I have zero tolerance for pain or feeling sick, and I got through it. chemo has good days and bads the key is to take nausea meds before it kick in, chew on ice during infusion, try to see dentist before and ask about thrush... I had that it sucks. but found eating ice helped with other cycles... rest lots when u need to but try to stay active as well ...Onc pederá for me found it helped lots, drink drink lots!!
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Snoopy73, welcome, sorry you have to join our group, but it's a great group of ladies for support and answers! I understand the "double life", it seems that normal is very far away after finding out you have BC. But great to know you have a supportive husband and 2 great kids, I do also and I find it keeps me from dwelling too much and too long, they keep me too busy! Best of luck with the chemo, I don't have any advice for that, but so many people on here can give you advice and support regarding it!
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I know what you mean about living a double life. You try to be the woman you used to be before the diagnosis, but deep down I know that I'll never be that same person again. Cancer has changed me, some for the good. All I know is that the fear, angry and saddness is still there just in a different way. Going through treatments your fear is of the unknown. Not knowing what to expect during treatments (will it hurt, will I be sick) Now that the treatments are pretty much done, the fear is still of the unknown,( will "it" come back.)Fear every time you have a head ache, back ache, etc. I do try to put on a brave face for my kids, family and friends, but once in a while I really do need to express how I really do feel. Alot of the time its loneliness, and thats why its so great to be able to come on this thread and really be me. I don't have to put on an act.Thanks
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I agree. It's so nice to be ourselves on here and talk about fears/concerns or anything that our family and friends will never be able to understand. The fear of it returning is what bothers me the most. We are all so young on here, I keep thinking if I was 60 when I found this, my chances would be slimmer, but not even 40! We have such a long life to live and it's scarier thinking that means more time to grow back.....sorry for my pessimism. One of those days.....
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Hi ladies! I was diagnosed in Nov 2010 at the age of 37. I'm mom to five little ones (10, 9, 7, 6 and 3), have a wonderful DH of 15 years and work full time as an elementary principal. I had a BMX in December with TE placement, DD AC x 4 and DD T x 4 starting in January (finished in April), implant exchange surgery on May 10th and started rads on May 23rd. It's been a whirlwind!!!
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about a recurrence. I hope as times goes by that this fear subsides. My GMA is a 25-year BC survivor so I look to her for inspiration.
I definitely put on a brave face for my DH and kids. Everyone comments on how I've "powered through" treatment. Well . . . it's sucked! I have so much respect for any women that's ever battled this disease.
Tammy
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Thank you ladies for your welcome:-) Its so nice to feel that I am not alone on this journey as I have amazing people like you:-)
Wishing you all a great weekend.
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Hello Ladies! I am joining the club... That I never wanted to join. I have been reading the threads for several weeks and decided I needed to post. A little about me... I am 34, mother to an amazing 7 month old little girl and married to the most wonderful husband. Cancer is all I knew growing up, as my mother was diagnosed w/ bilateral BC when I was 5 (she was 30)... She fought several mets for 13 yrs and lost her fight when I was 18 (she was 43). I have been extremely pro-active and prayed I would never be joining this fight. Much to my surprise here I am... And ready to fight!! I am scheduled for my BMX w/ TE's on 6/30... I don't have a stage yet and the dr's say I will know if I need chemo a week after BMX. My fingers and toes are crossed that tamox will be all i need. I am so glad that i found this thread... Being so young it puts us in a different category then most others. It is wonderful to read all of the encouraging posts and the advice and suggestions are priceless. Hugs to all!!
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Your not being pessimistic, Mommyrnx2. Your only expressing what so many of us are feeling and thinking. My friend, who is a social worker, says that what so many of us go through is post tramatic stress sydrome, similiar to what a person who has been at war. Except our war is with our own bodies not with someone elses. And I can certainly relate to that. Waking up with sore joints or a headache sure throws me for a loop. I use to have the advantage of just calling it sore muscles or a headache. But now its do I have bone mets or brain mets. And Tammy I know what you mean when people comment "oh your so brave and strong". I don't call it bravery or having great strenght. I call it doing something that I don't really want to do but having no choice. I call it being so f***ing scared that you just want to crawl into the smallest corner and just wish and pray this disease away. Thanks, well that made me feel a bit better.
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Maryann77; I can sooo relate to what you are saying:-) I have been called "strong" "have a positive attitude" etc etc but as you so well put it, its doing something we dont want to do but HAVE NO CHOICE!!
Thanks ladies... lets all have a great weekend:-) Hugs to you all.
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Welcome new ladies. AJTaylor: Good luck with your upcoming surgery! Maryann: you are right, I swore I could never deal with any of this if it happened to me, but here I am, living, surviving and somehow getting through it with a smile......most days! Have a great weekend everyone!
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I agree!!! Everyone says that I am so strong but a lot of days I don't feel that way. As you said, I am doing what I HAVE to do. I lean on God for my strength and He gives me what I need each day and not an ounce more.
By God's grace each of us will get through treatment and will survive!!!
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