Ladies in their 30s
Comments
-
Hi Girls,
Thank you for the positive comments, I appreciate it. We can always encourage each other and be the sweet angel
Let me share to you a lil bit of my story. Well I always thought that life is unfair, you see cancer runs in our family. My Mom died 3 years ago of Breast Cancer, but amazingly she fought hard and survived it for almost 20 years. Isn't it encouraging to even think that it is possible to survive 20 years or even longer? Specially when you detected it earlier and treatment kicked in. With my Mom's case she didn't even have the best medical treatment back then, we were so poor at the time of her diagnosis and coudnt afford any treatment, all she had was mastectomy on her right breast and no hormonal therapy after that, can't even afford a scan or radiation. She was raising us by herself and she was determined to live longer. I was in high school that time and was not in good shape to help her so I had to study hard to finish college so I can send her for treatment.
She was diagnosed when she was 42 and didn't get any treatment until it was 7 or 8 years later, it was when I was able to work and afford to send her for treatment. I made it possible and she survived treatment after treatment for another 12 years. Sometimes I blame myself thinking that I did not do enough, I did not even know that this website exists, in my mind it would help her possible at least to extend more of her life because there is a lot you can learn from here, like sugar feeds cancer etc....those things I didn't know before. But I am so proud of her because I have seen so much of her being so strong and her willingness to live.
2 years later, it didn't occur to me that I can have it too young so I thought I wasn't really prepared the time I was diagnosed. All along I didn't know that God has just prepared me for a much tougher battle. I've seen it and know exactly what cancer can do. I've taken care of my MOM for 20 years and I was by her side till her last breath.
Honestly, I am not afraid to die, I am just afraid to leave those people who I love so much specially my daughter my adopted son (he is 3 days old when I adopted him last year from my vacation in the Philippines) and my husband. This cancer didn't change the way I look at life, I am still upbeat and I have remained positive since my diagnosis. I always think that I dont live with cancer, cancer lives with me.
I'd like to inspire you of how much courage I have, aside from taking care a 2 year old toddler, I work full time as an IT Analyst and 2 months ago, I started my wedding/events and photobooth rental business. I am living life to the fullest and enjoy every moment of it, yes there were days seems like cancer tries to pull me down but I always bounce back with courage to live whatever years is left for me. Determination to live and fight cancer is what other people makes live longer, and of course, you just gotta have faith...It is my faith in him that keeps me going and making me strong.
I am very hopefull that we can live more years together and we can encourage one another, it is a battle and we need to keep fighting.
All the best,
Sweetangel
"It is my prayer that all of us may find peace amidst of this difficult times in our lives"
0 -
Sweet angel what a great story you shared. Your mother was so lucky and blessed to have you. Keep up the good attitude and you too will have many, many more years with your kids too. I think attitude helps so much and of course the God above..
0 -
Hi ladies,
I am also new to this thread. I am 32 y/o and was diagnosed in the middle of July. And as you all know, the rest is a blur. I have been feeling pretty down recently since my hair is falling out in clumps. I knew this would be hard, but I didn't realize just how hard it would be. I feel pretty crappy today from my last dose of TCH. Also, yesterday I was doing some research on YSC.org and it said that survival rate amoung young women is lower because the cancer tends to be more aggressive. I'm not saying this to scare anyone else, but really looking for some positive feedback or someone to call BS on that! My little boy isn't even 2 years old yet and the only thing I want is to see him grow up.
I'm glad I found this group. It sucks that it has to be this way, but also helps that I am not alone in this struggle. Sorry if I came off as Debbie Downer
0 -
Hi Kelly,
I learned not to read too much into statisticts, 'cause they dont represent individual case. If i remember well, I read a lady's post in '' inspirational stories'', she is 22 years survivor and grade 3 with 6 nodes affected, she got this disease in her 30s as well, and back then there was no Her2 analysis.
I suggest you read some successful stories in this forum, it would probably make you feel better afterwards.
We all feel down time to time and we have the right to be this way
. Just keep in mind that worrying or fear does not help anything or make things better ( this is what I tell myself all the time).We will win this battle!
All the best!
xoxoxoxo
0 -
I just read a great book called "Mum's List". by St John Greene. I cried most of the book, but I know that life is short and I have to live each day to its fullest. Not only for me, but for my kids. Enjoy!
0 -
I get like that too, I found that I had to stop reading some of that, just too much to process. I think we have to stay as positive as possible, easier said than done some days. I have an 11 year old and I want to see her graduate high school, college, get married...but I know there are no guarantees in life, as my husband says anyone could get hit by a bus tomorrow, way to cheer me up lol
.
My big struggle has Ben the why mes....I am at the point where I am retted to see some kind of lesson or something, I know that we were way too busy prior to my dx, we have had much more family time and my husband and I are closer than we ever have been.0 -
My have two post out there but c'ing how informative, educated & supportive you ladies are here, I thought I should ask. I'm 34. Had a mammo & ultrasound a week ago due to two lumps i & my doc felt. I was told by radiologist that my breast are very dense so he couldn't see anything. Ultrasound didn't show anything but he said I need to go see a breast surgeon. I have my appt next wed (9/5) and am wondering should I ask for MRI or biopsy? I'm asking bc a good church friend of mine (who passed away from BC two years ago) who had a clean biopsy only to find out that the doc missed the lump area. She pushed for the removal of the lump and that is when they found that it was cancer. What would you do? MRI, biopsy or leave it up to surgeon to decide?
Btw... Waiting is driving me NUTS!0 -
Ashley, waiting can be the worst part sometimes. Hang in there. Don't jump into anything. Listen to what the BS has to say then go from there. Listen to your gut and remember you can always get a second opinion. Best of luck to you 0
-
Ashley: Keep in mind that MRI's can show lots of false positives and cause a lot of anxiety for nothing. I opted for the biopsy and that showed my cancer just fine. I later had an MRI pre-chemo to ensure the cancer was no where else. But yes, trust your team of doctors and listen to what they have to say. At the end of the day, you have to live with the decisions so if you feel you need/want more then advocate for yourself. Keep in mind that the majority of lumps and bumps are nothing so although the waiting is the worst part, stay positive.
Kelly279: I was diagnosed at 33 years old with a 1.5 year old and 3.5 year old. I had to put pictures of me and the boys away after I was diagnosed as I couldn't look at them and every time I looked at their faces, I felt sad. Every day I hope and pray that I'll be there to watch them graduate, get married and have their own babies. The doctor was talking about 10 years survival and all that. I said, "well I need more then 10 years.....my kids will still be in grade school for God sake". I am almost 5 months post chemo and I still look at their faces and feel sad but I'm thankful for what I have and they have proven to be the best motivators ever. Yes the stats for young women with BC dying is high but who really knows why. Is it that our cancer is more aggressive? Is it that some many women are diagnosed late because we're young and cancer is not the first thing on doctors minds when you present with a lump? The more aggressive your cancer, the better it responds to chemo. The fear of leaving my kids without their mom is very real for me and I'm not sure will ever totally go away. I sit and think "if I die tomorrow, my kids are to young to remember me" and that makes me SO sad that I keep fighting every day.....fight for your children, fight for yourself and you WILL get through this!!!! PM me if you ever need to vent. I can relate to your fear and feelings about your kids.
0 -
Tweetyb422,
I hear you. I feel the same way... I am 39 and have a six yr old daughter, a job of my dream and loving husband. And then THIS!! Trying to stay positive tho. Do you plan on doing Hormonal therapy, tamoxifen?0 -
Healing123,
I'm supposed to start tamoxifen after rads. I am almost done with chemo, one more to go
Looking into options after, I have always had irregular cycles so I want to make sure I am doing everything I can to reduce recurrence.0 -
Hi everyone, I have been on this site for a long time, but didn't see this thread. It's nice to find a group of women who have younger kids. We all have to deal with the BC issues, but it's different with small children.... not harder, just different.
I just turned 39 and have a 6 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. They are taking it really well, which is exactly what I want. I also have a very supportive husband who goes to all the treatments with me. I don't want to burden him any more than I have to, so you girls are so wonderful to talk to!!!!!
I hope everyone has a great Labor Day! Thanks for all being here to hear the rants and try to stay positive!
0 -
Kelly. I go to a local support group. For the most part the ladies are all retired. But most of them were young at diagnosis. One lady, her baby was 6 mon. old. The only tx offered to her was rads, which she had to leave home, stay with family to recieve. That was 50 years ago. So I try to remind myself of all the survivors. I cant imagine what tx was like back then, how refined chemo and all the s/e meds have become. Although we do still suffer through it.
Ashley. I think the BS with examine you and decide. Thats what they do everyday, so here's to hoping they are good. Its a very stressful road, the waiting. I hope it turns out to be a cyst and that be the end of your journey.
0 -
Hello. I'm christy diagnosed May 25th 2012 4 days after my 35th birthday. I was diagnosed with IDC in the left breast. I have two very beautiful kids a 16 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. I have had an amazing support system, without them I would not have gotten through all this in the last 4 mos. I have had a double mastectomy on 6/5/12 and just recently had the beginning stages of Breast Reconstruction with expanders and hoping to finish the last part of surgery in December 2012.
i would like to know how some of you told your children the crappy news? My husband and I waited for our kids to get out of school, as we found out only 4 days before the end of the school year. I had tried to find any and all books on how to approach the subject.
I never wanted to be a part of this group only because the stigma of what a breast cancer patient or survivor looks like. I did not have to have any chemo or radiation, just the DM and now I am cancer free. When I speak to most people their eyes automatically go to my "non-existant chest" as they say " well what treatments are you doing and for how long". Or " are you going to lose your hair?"
I've never been so angry as I was when I found out. I feel I am very lucky to be a part of this group now. We are an amazing group of Daughter, Mothers, Wives, and Sisters. My husband is amazing I had asked him what he thought about me doing reconstruction and he told me he didnt care what I looked like, just as long as he didn't lose me in this whole process (not death but mentally and physically).
Thanks for listening
Christy
0 -
Hi Christy
My kids were 1.5 and 3 when I was diagnosed so we just said that I was going to have special medicine at the hospital and my hair would all fall out but when I was done it would all come back. We also told my 3 year old that my boobs were "sick" so the doctor took them off to make me better. Your kids would understand a lot more so I hope you can find resources to help. Maybe contact the local cancer centre and see if they have any suggestions for books etc.
Can I ask why you didn't need chemo or radiation? Just curious. I didn't need radiation but did have chemo. I also had a double mastectomy after I was diagnosed and they got all my cancer in surgery but I still did chemo. I am thinking about reconstruction but want to give myself a bit more time to heal etc. Keep me posted on how that goes. I'll be doing the same tissue expanders when that time rolls around for me.
I am glad you found us
Meredith
0 -
Hi Meredith
Thank you for your response. I did not have to have either because the cancer did not spread to my lymphnodes. I was so greatful to hear that. The other reason was because my Oncotype was a 7.I went to my cancer advocate at myhospital and she did not know of any books for kids. It turned out ok though. We had a family dinner with my mom and stepdad present and we told the kids,(ok my husband and parents told them i was too busy crying) not my finest moment as a mom. I waited 3 mos before doing reconstruction, i also wanted to heal more before going onto the next phase. Now that i have some form of cleavage i feel odd now. Haha ive been so used to pulling at my shirt,that i really dont have to do that now. The tissue expanders are not the most pleasant thing ive dealt with. But ive only had them for a week today. I go for my next appointment with the surgeon tomorrow and hopwfully get my drains out then and get my first fill.
Im glad i finally decided to come on here. I didnt want to be like others. No offense to anyone. I wanted my own personal pity party. I had it and now im on my way tohealing mentally and physically.
Thank you all for responding and listening. Im glad to be a part of this fabulous group of women.0 -
I just turned 36- I was diagnosed in May -
I have been married for 12 years and have 2 kids aged 10 and 2.
and I have a wonderful mom who lives 5 blocks away and is also an 18 year survivor of Hodgkins Disease so she knows the drill. and is a HUGE help.my BMX comes in November- Ive got 3 taxols to go.
eek.Kelly- where are you being treated?
I go close to you in Mount Holly at Virtua.0 -
I can't believe I haven't found this group before! I am so glad to have found women that can relate to the unique struggles that we face being diagnosed on the younger end of the spectrum. I was diagnosed last summer when I was 33 and 7 weeks post-partum. I have 2 children, 16 months and 4.5 years. It's been a crazy year or so, but I am finally finishing up the "active" treatment. I have had my surgeries, chemo, and just finished a year of Herceptin. I will get my port out next month. I am so relieved that the worst is behind me, but I find myself still struggling every now and then.
0 -
Kelly- We are eerily about one year separated. I had the same chemo regimen as you did but started early last fall. I was diagnosed at 33. My kids were 7 weeks and 3.5 at the time. I can certainly relate to the fears. I had to stop reading the statistics and stories about recurrence.The farther distance and the healthier you feel, the easier it becomes to look forward. I still have bad days, but I feel that the chemo, the changes to my hormones it caused, and the steroids were not a good combination and that I experiencedway more anxiety and negative thinking than I did as I moved on thenext step.
0 -
I just had my permament implant surgery this week after basically two years of breast cancer crap. I was diagnosed when I was 30, and I'm now 32. I had a bilateral mastectomy after my one-year checkup (following lumpectomy, chemo and rads, and 6 months of Tamoxifen) came back abnormal. I feel like my life is on hold, and so does my boyfriend. We both feel stuck, forever in cancerland. Neither one of us have mentioned marriage, but we were are talking about kids in the near future. I want to have kids ASAP, but now I'm regretting my decision to stop Tamoxifen back in April because I was so ER+.
I feel like I just can't let this disease go. It's chasing me. I want to move on with the rest of my life, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just not done with this damned disease.
0 -
I wrote an opinion letter to my local paper about those of us under 40. The link is below first time I have ever done anything like that, amazing how cancer can change us you have to scroll thru link, about third letter in.
http://www.ocala.com/article/20121005/OPINION02/121009834/1024/OPINION?Title=Letters-to-the-Editor-for-Oct-5-20120 -
Wonderful letter Tweety!! Thank you for giving a voice to us under 40's in this BC hell. Everything you articulated was point on!!
0 -
Thank you for giving us a voice, Tweety.
0 -
Ladies- I have a clinical psychology background but have been a stay-at-home mom for the last few years. In struggling to find some meaning in this BC journey, I have been thinking about using my education to address some of the unique issues faced by women our age. Right now, the "young breast cancer" group where I get treatment is 50 and under, which encompasses a broad range of experiences. As Tweety's letter highlights, though we have a common bond, each age group faces their own set of challenges, and I would greatly appreciate any feedback you women would like to share with me about issues/struggles that you have faced as 30-somethings that you felt were not addressed in books/support groups/other resources. Feel free to private message me. I greatly appreciate anything you share.
0 -
I agree, I have a social work background, I am surprised by lack of support. When you are under 40, it is hard. People don't know how to react, I have really had no outside support thru any of my tx. I tried a local bc support group thru American cancer society, they had 4 members and I was well over 10 years younger....tough to relate to. In addition, I find I am kinda irritated with all the pink ribbon stuff everywhere....yet I have not seen any pink ribbon products donated to local chemo infusion centers...I think it would be nice to see something done for current patients. All the early detection stuff doesn't help most of us under 40, if you have no family history you would have no reason to get a mammogram before 40. Also most of us diagnosed under 40 tend to have aggressive types of cancer, so we are all of a sudden facing scary treatment options.
0 -
Love this thread. Can't remember if I've been here before. I had my biopsy on my 37 birthday. My baby was only 5 months. I also had a 3.5 and 7 year old. That was almost 18 months ago. My little guy is turning 2 next month. I've walked up the diagnosis ladder from stage II/III to stage IV. A single met to the spine did that for me. I am going through another round of treatment. Perjeta/Herceptin/Taxotere are my new friends. My pet/ct/MRI/and bone scans came back clean. Even my tumor marker is down to 25 ( normal is 0-40). But I am so sick of this beast lurking around. Praying that my MO's aggressive approach is going to keep me in Ned for 30+ years. Yes I said 30+. I'm dreaming bigger these days. I've got plans to be the swimmer in a relay triathlon in May, I'm actively involved in my MOPS group, and next year my Mom and I are going to Hawaii. Thanks for the rant space cancer at any age sucks. But I can laugh my way through this, my kids help me do that. It's hard not to when my 5yr old says "But mother ...wait I'm not calling you a butt mother....hump" and walks away.
0 -
good for you fujimama.
way to look ahead.
I met a woman during a recent Taxol infusion who was Stage IV BC in 1982. Doctors told her to get ready cause the end was coming soon. 30 years later and she's still kicking ass. Does everything she wants and lives life- she was 26 back then.xo
'
0 -
Have any of you ladies found that support groups of women mostly 50+ have been helpful? I'm 31, mother of two girls 7&8, and married. The local group is mostly the older demographic, but I'm sure we will have a lot in common beyond age.
CJRT- I think my biggest struggle is the push to get back to normal. I was 30 at diagnosis and very social. Now, most of my time goes towards family because I get so tired and feel self conscious about my pixie hair and weight gain. Also, my husband says things like, I just can't wait for this to be over. Well, me too buddy!0 -
Markat - Definitely can relate! I had the expectation that the worst of the treatment would be done and that I would just transition back to normal life right away. I know I need to cut myself some slack that I am a different person that I was about a year ago.
0 -
I was 35 when diagnosed. Because I didn't need to have chemo I feel like I've been forgotten about. There aren't any young support groups that I've been told about and I do feel that I'm in a different place than someone in their 50s+. I have little kids still. And since I'm so young, I don't have any friends that are going thru this either. I was never contacted by the American Cancer Society either. I figured that's something they would do. Other than this board and my Mom who has been thru bc, I don't have anyone that I can relate to about this hell. So, I became the soccer team manager for both of my kids' teams which keeps me busy and I've tried to forget about this entire mess. It has helped but there are moments that it hits me and it would be nice to have a group of people to talk to. I feel too that my MO's office should have friend referrals or something. I would be willing to talk to someone newly diagnosed in my similar situation.
0
