Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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Hi Jen: I had a BMX and no reconstruction. I did 4 months of chemo and no rads. I saw a PS about reconstruction but I am not emotionally ready yet. Sunday will mark my 1 year of diagnosis. Everything happened so fast for me that I wanted to give my body time to heal and rest before having more surgery, drugs etc. Just not ready to sign up for all that and enjoying my body just feeling normal. I don't miss my breasts and my DH is fine with it. I can snuggle my babies and all that. I have a few good mastectomy bras and in my cloths with my bra on, you'd never know. It's a personal choice and don't worry what everyone else is doing. Do what is right for you.
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Hi Jen,
I agree with what borntosurvive said. I had BMX w/TE's. I just finished rads so I'll be waiting 6-9 months for final reconstruction, which I'm good with because thinking about going into surgery again is not a super exciting. I chose this route because I felt it was the right one for me...the one I was most comfortable with. I don't think there's a "right" way to do any of this crazy cancer treatment stuff other than this: listen to the doctors' professional opinions then decide what's right for yourself.
Glad your scans came back negative! (((hugs))) to you as you move into treatment. While it may not always feel like it, you're strong enough to go through all of this!
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Jen, So glad your tests came back negative. What a relief. Glad you now have a plan and can move on.
I was 38 when diagnosed, kids 8,5,3,and3. Young kids are great, because they dont really get it. They love mom always, doesnt matter what she looks like.
I had UMX, chemo and rads. Having one breast is a pain at times, but just come here for support because Im sure we all cope a little different. I havent explored recon as I am still trying to get used to this changed body and it doesnt really bother me. This is who I am now. Like others, Im not emotionally ready for more surgery. Would like a few months off from appts.
Good luck with your treatments.
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My name is pinkpower78 and I am 34 years old. I am an African American single mother of two children; 11 and 13 and I am the youngest child of 8. My journey started just a few months ago in August 2012, when I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Grade 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer, also invasive ductal carcinoma? My world, as I knew it, was over! I initially discovered the small knot back in March 2012 but circumstances prolonged my capability to get to the doctor. I relocated from Raleigh, NC to Columbus, OH after living there for 7 years. I had previously lived in Columbus for 26 years. After a failed business deal gone bad and the fact that I lived with my parents and they had filed bankruptcy and were moving back to Indiana, I stepped out on faith and moved too. I, my kids and my kid’s father moved in with my sister, her husband and their 3 kids. After a month, in April 2012; we all became homeless! My sister apparently was not using the money that I and my kid’s father were giving her to pay the rent. We all went to the YWCA homeless shelter. Because I was in between jobs and had limited funds, I could not get healthcare; hence, I could not get to the doctor to see about this knot that was now twice the size. Because my sister was evicted while I was at work, all of my things; including myself and my kid’s social security cards and birth certificates; were set outside and lost!! Because of this reason, I could not go to social services to try and get help because I had no identification. The shelter helped me get the birth certificates and social security cards, which came a month later. Moving right along, myself, my kids and my kids dad got on our feet; and with the help of the YWCA were able to secure a low income apartment, we were thrilled! With us both working, things started to get better in April 2012. In July 2012 I finally got my Medicaid card in the mail and immediately scheduled an appointment with my family doctor. 2 days before my scheduled appointment, I ended up in the ER due to severe pain in my breast. I was immediately referred for a mammogram. On August 2, 2012; the day after my oldest child became a teenager, I got the disturbing news of my mammogram results. I have since then had emergency surgery for a port and have had 3 rounds of chemotherapy. My first round of chemo was September 19th 2012; 8 days before my 34th birthday. My kid's father left and abandoned us the day before chemo started; stating that he was not ready to deal with any cancer. After my second round of chemo on October 3rd 2012, by that weekend; around October 7th 2012 I removed my head scarf to discover that all; I mean ALL of my hair was in my scarf and not on my head! Even though the oncology nurses had warned me of such, I was still devastated! Because I was not able to work anymore due to the hectic chemo schedule and the sickness that lasted for days after, I was threatened with eviction. With no money and no help in sight, my 2 children and I were forced to move in with my parents. I was very thankful for that; seeing that I was just homeless months prior. The problem was they lived in Indiana and they had a small 2 bedroom apartment. So the guilt of having to move my children now for the 3rd time this year and being crammed into one room left me feeling hopeless! Today; November 2012, I am happy to say that I have food and shelter and support from my parents and I have began chemo treatments here in Indiana. The enormous mass has shrunk a bit and I am treading along on this journey. My oncologist was concerned that the tumor was not shrinking quickly enough and referred me to a breast surgeon. I met with her last week and she suggested a single radical mastectomy, it is scheduled for next week on Thanksgiving. I am soooo nervous and anxious because she said that one possibly two of my lymph nodes are swollen and that may indicate involvement. In addition to that, my hemoglobin is 7.9 and I may have to have a blood transfusion on Monday if it hasn’t gone up to at least 10. Has anyone out there had a blood transfusion or a mastectomy? So sorry for writing a book but I am in such a panic for a number of reasons! I always bragged to people that I have never been in a physical fight in all my life but I tell ya I am in the fight of my life!!!! I have to survive to be here for my kids! I just need encouragement! I am praying for us all that a cure will be found!!!
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Pinkpower, your story is heartbreaking. I am SO sorry you are having to join this thread, but there is much comfort from connecting with younger women who are in similar circumstances. I am relieved to hear that you are in treatment and have stable housing, etc. I can't imagine the stress you were under when your basic needs were not being met.
I need to say too that I can hear the fight and optimism and "sass" in your writing, and that is simply fantastic. Keep it up! (But know that you can cry and scream too. It's ALL ok.)
I was diagnosed at 38 with a three year old daughter. I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction and LOVE my results. If a mastectomy is what you need, YOU CAN DO IT. There are women on here with a million different experiences, but I am one whose surgical experience was extremely positive and successful.
I will be praying for you and your kids, pinkpower. I see you are a believer (I assume! Sorry if I'm wrong!) My own relationship with God has grown by leaps and bounds since this all started. And THAT is a crazy blessing! Lastly, if you or your family still have needs (financial, medical, etc.), I hope you will share. I'm connected to an amazing group of women through "momastery" (go google it!) who work together to accomplish AMAZING things for people in need. And really, that's all of us! Much love and hugs to you.0 -
P.S. pinkpower, the university of Michigan is doing some incredible work with triple negative diagnosis. It's worth keeping in mind for a visit or second opinion, especially because you are not too far. Your fight in this is about getting the best possible treatment - as it is for all of us, so we can be here for our little ones. Trust me when I say: there are people who will open doors to help you get there.
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Oh wow Pinkpower. You have been on a very hard rd. So glad you are somewhere safe with your children now. You are a very strong woman to keep going through all of this. I know you have no choice as you are a mom.
I had a unilateral mastectomy. Compared to chemo it was easy, I didnt have any recon and no complications. Hope your parents will be there to help you recover. Thinking of you and trust that you will be ok and survive this week also.
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Hi Ladies! I am 35 years old and going in today for a biopsy on my right breast a spot was found a routine mammogram. Songogram was done yesterday and doctor was concerned. She thinks it might be something called a Radial Scar, but isn't sure. I will get my results on Friday to find out if it's cancer or not. I just never dreamed this would happen at our age....we are too young to think about this. I guess Cancer doesn't pick an age. I have two little girls age 7 and 4. I'm just so glad to have found this site. Everyone around has a hard time understanding what I'm going through because I am so young.
Finger crossed for good results on Friday! If not, I will face what I have and fight to get through it like each and everyone of you. Your strength inspires me!!
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Hang in there, kimbr7, you are at the most difficult point of this journey - the whole "not knowing" part. Try to enjoy the holiday (as best you can). I find that really focusing on all the things I'm grateful for helps alleviate any anxiety I might be feeling. I've heard that a person can't be fearful and grateful at the same time. I'll be thinking of you. Take care of yourself these next few days!! {{{{hugs}}}}
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Thanks so much everyone! T-6 hours for my results scheduled call....scard and nervous but ready to hear what I need too.
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Pinkpower - my heart breaks for you and your family. I hope you can find strength in the support of your parents and get the treatment you need.
Kimbr7: yes, waiting is the worst part hands down. Soon you will know and can move forward either way. If it is cancer, you CAN do this. Remember that most things are B9. We're all holding your hand and we'll be right there with you. Do you have someone to go with you and take notes? Let us know how you make out.
I had a bilateral mastectomy 1 year ago now and no reconstruction yet. Just happy to have my body back and be feeling good. I will venture down the reconstruction road one day but just not ready right now.
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Hello,
I'm not new to breast cancer, but I am newish to the boards. I was 30 years old when diagnosed and now 32. I have had the works: chemo (including a severe allergic reaction to Taxotere the first time), radiation, and then later a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I decided on the BMX after my year checkup came back abnormal. I did Tamoxifen for six months, and stopped when the SEs were just too horrible. I've been off Tamoxifen for almost eight months, and will likely get back on it next week. I thought I wanted to try to have a family ASAP, but cancer has just completely bombed my relationship with the BF that a baby isn't realistic. We're in counseling right now and it's just not looking good. Babies don't repair relationships.
Besides, my path report said I was strongly ER+ so I feel like I need to give Tamoxifen another go, or I'm just going to keep thinking METS every unfamiliar bone pain. It just hurts my heart when everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant and/or getting married, and here I am, with a broken relationship and an uncertain future. I want to be that healthy young mom, chasing rugrats around. But I want to be alive. Right now my best friend, also 32, is about to undergo a hysterectomy due to stage 3 endometriosis, giving me perspective.
No matter what, I do have the Boomer dog. I always will have the Boomer dog.
Lara
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Boomersmom - I know I'm not in the same situation because I just had my daughter when I was diagnosed, but I do know the feeling of having this image of what your family will be and then having it taken away. Just like everyone else on here, I had a plan of what my life would be like. I've always wanted a large family, but with my diagnosis came the realization that things would have to change if I wanted to even think about kids in the future. For me, adoption had always been a thought anyway, but now with the realization that I will need to be on Tamoxifen for five years if I really want to give myself the best chance at keeping cancer at bay, I'm even more convinced there will be a little soul out there who will need me for a mom. Only you now what is right for you, but I truly believe someone who has as much love to give as you seem to, must have a little soul out there waiting to call you mom - even if it isn't your own biological child. Best of luck as you move forward.... you are not alone in this struggle.
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Hello Ladies-
I will be turning 30 this next year and found this board. I am also a young mom, and the only thought that crossed my mind when i was diagnosed at the age of 29 with no family history was being there to watch my son grow up. I had my lumpectomy and start my ACT chemotherapy treatment regimen next week, as I am triple negative, Grade 3 and they want to be aggressive. I, too, planned on having a large family, and as Kmadigan noted, there are so many options out there. A girlfriend of mine just adopted 1 and a half year old twin boys and their dynamic is already incredible. Keep fighting and stay strong... This will not define your future! Hugs and prayers!!!0 -
I am also TN and stage 3. Check out the TNS board also. LOTS of great support and advice. I also had ACT.
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Hi. I'm pretty new to the boards. I'm 32, no family history of breast cancer (or any cancer, for that matter), DX September 2012 with IDC in left breast. I had BMX and SNB November 20 (staged during surgery as Stage I) & opted for immediate recon with TEs. Will hear back in a week or two on Oncotype DX testing re: chemo or no chemo. I am married and have 2 daughters--aged 4 & 2. BRCA testing came back negative.
For those with kids, I highly recommend the book "Sammy's Mommy Has Cancer." It helped my 4-year-old tremendously in understanding and processing what our family is going through right now.
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Nowhere Hair by Sue Glader is another amazing book. Simple and rhyming. Terrific for my 4 year old. We read it every night the 2 weeks prior to me going bald. I think the book was a tremenous hlp and I highly recommend it.
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Thank you for the tips, ladies!
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My 3 year old held my hands while my DH shaved my head. Then we all had suckers.
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Borntosurvive, you are an inspiration with your courage! I love that idea! Think I'll have my one year old sit on my lap when that time comes... He always makes me smile! And you're absolutely beautiful, by the way!
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Was anyone pregnant when diagnose. abitmuch needs to hear from you.
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I was not pregnant when I was diagnosed but was diagnosed at my post-partum appointment. I know that is a much different situation, but I can empathize with what it is like to have a newborn while going through treatment.
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I had decided to stop taking Tamoxifen because I wanted to get pregnant, plus the SEs were so bad for me, but now I decided to go back on it next month because my relationship is so freaking unstable right now. There is no way he and I could try to conceive when a month ago, we were talking about breaking up. It's so freaking heartbreaking when friend after friend are having babies, and I'm thinking about what I can do to live for the next 5 or 10 years.
I wish I could rent a uterus. That'd be awesome.
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Thought I would say hello. When I go see my oncologist I don't ever see anyone my age & when I found the lump in my breast it took a lil time to find a doctor, mammograms are offered to 40 & older. I started being seen right before turning 35 in April 2012. Guess good thing was seen quickly I am HER2+ stage 4. Married with 3 kids that are 14, 11 & 7. Was hard to swallow at first. Good & bad days. Breast cancer wasn't a part of my family on either side. My 11yr daughter found a lump in each of her breasts & her doctor recommended her getting checked to be sure, my breast surgeon scheduled her in for an ultrasound & releaved that it was nothing but my surgeon was sweet to tell her how proud she was of her to notice & tell someone at her age & will do yearly check ups on her. I plan having the test done to see if I carry the gene hoping it becomes more affordable maybe when the patent is up.
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Wow there are some amazing stories here. I just had my chemo orientation today and wanted to wish everyone well.
Xx kk0 -
When it came to loosing hair it felt better that I was able to donate it to locks of love. I donated 15 inches before I started chemo. When started falling out shaved it right away, seeing it fall out felt worse than shaving it. I am just on maintenance drugs for the HER2+ now. Herceptin every 3 weeks for life, maybe start back on perjeta also in a month or two &I guess waiting for TDM1 to come out. So since hair has been slowly coming back in but seemed lil bit more gray so finally colored it. Color was a lil bit diferent this time (probably due to meds) but happy with it. No more grays
. I am working on skin care maintenance again. The chemo drugs made me break out like a teenager again. Plus no sleep hardly because of steroids. But happy meds are helping me fight the cancers & the side effects are nothing in comparison when they keep me alive & kickin. Luckily I was already done having kids & had already tied my tubes after my 3rd. I just pray this never passes down to my 2 daughter's. I also hope I will be around for many years with my husband & kids. I try not to think about it but do try to enjoy every moment more, definatly is a new perspective to cherish every moment more.0 -
I'm 38 and 6 years out!! I just came off tamoxifen and lupron shots in June 2012. Feels good! Now we are discussing having a baby. I'm 38 with no children, and finally now can start the next chapter in my life. Glad I found this board! Of course I'm very interested in the pregnancy and bc threads. Love to you all!
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Hi. 30 years old, just diagnosed in December. No family history, but have not yet tested for BRCA. Doing fertility preservation prior to neoadjuvant chemo.
At this point I want to ask "why?" Although I'll likely never know. One day at a time. Bought my first wig today...sure makes it start to feel more real. Despite my diagnosis, I do remain positive. Great docs, excellent nurses, etc. It's amazing how quickly you must put your trust in these folks.
Not married, no kids yet.... But I've got so many great friends and family as a support system. I'm very lucky in that regard.
Would love to connect with other "girls" my age. I'm already tired of hearing things like, "you're in the minority!" Heh.
-Lindsay0 -
Hi, it's been a long time since I've been on the boards. I lost my cousin and a few friends to BC and for a while after cancer/chemo/recovery I was sooooo depressed from the losses that I couldn't stand to hear about cancer anymore. But I'm happy to report that on February 2nd it will be my three year cancerversary- and I'm now ready to celebrate this day, because I'm cancer-free and mostly back to "normal" (whatever that is!) All of you beautiful ladies on this journey take heart... the friends I made along the way absolutely changed my life. Blessings to each of you!!!
PS My profile photo is myself and Dr Slamon, the Dr who developed Herceptin and likely saved my life. My hero!!0 -
Hi I am 36 diagnosed November 2012. No family history that I know of. Tested negative for BRCA 1 & 2. Choose to have have the bmx on Jan 8 so I could avoid radiation. I am scheduled to have my DIEP reconstruction April 19. I am looking at this as my one positive since I do get a "free" tummy tuck. Much needed since I have 2 boys ages 4 & 6.
I have found that keeping up with the women in my January 2013 surgery blog has kept me in good spirits. It reminds me I am not alone and I am a warrior..
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