Ladies in their 30s
Comments
-
may 2015. These things are super tricky to navigate so the anxiety makes sense. But in the end if the day, the most important things to consider are your very own reasons for making the choices you've decided to make.
0 -
hi tuna27, I had a double mastectomy and I'm glad I did. I have surgery ina week to fucken up with my reconstruction, I have TE's now. I do not question my decision . Post surgery not too bad. Very doable. Good luck with whatever you decide. Hugs.
0 -
hey Tuna I'm 31, i'll Chime in too, my decision was mixed- MO said breasts “don't cross pollinate" and given my zero family history and negative BRCA status, he said I would probably be fine with a single mx.
That being said- my plastic surgeon said I'm young, originally a small breasted individual and my cancer grew into my skin so I would need skin and nipple resection- he said “think of your breasts as sisters not twins" I responded with- you're right I am young and I want these babies to be as close to twins as possible.
I chose double- I have breast Cancer for absolutely no reason, therefore I'm decreasing my risk (even if they don't cross pollinate
) also- I don't want to look in the mirror after all is said and done and be lopsided and displeased after kicking some serious cancer ass.I had my surgery inSeptember, I miss my natural breasts every day. But I do sleep better at night knowing that they tried to kill me and they are gone
0 -
Hey Tuna27, I can offer a little insight from the other side of this - I had a single mastectomy, mostly because I was afraid of the chronic pain some experience after a mastectomy. I thought I'd rather still have one good side. Well, I am now about six weeks out from surgery and I feel fine. For me, the mastectomy itself was not bad, and I want to do the other side to reduce the risk of this ever happening again. I was dx at 32, am 34 now. I'm young and I just can't ever trust my boobs again. I miss my natural breast, and the way my body was before, but not as much as I don't want to go through cancer treatment again. That's just my two cents, best of luck with your decision and recovery. :-)
0 -
Hello, I am 35. I was diagnosed stage 2 Triple neg in June. I finished chemo a couple of weeks ago. I am married with 2 kids.
Tuna, I feel the exact same way you do. My double mastectomy is scheduled for Jan 8th. From the beginning I thought just get rid of them. My surgeon and MO both said a lumpectomy so I am having second thoughts too. Mostly I am worried I won't like how the implants feel. A lumpectomy sounds so much easier but I keep going back to the fact I probably won't need radiation with a mastectomy and being so young I really don't want to worry about a new bc in the future. For me it's a piece of mind knowing I am doing everything I can. I too am going into this with cold feet. Only 1 more week for me. I just want to get it over with. Prayers that everthing works out for you.
0 -
Just wanted to jump in and offer some encouragement for those newly diagnosed. It's been 4 years for me since I found out and treatment and surgery was tough, but one moment at a time will get you through. My daughter was 2. My world changed, and even though it will change you forever there is still a lot of amazing life left. I know that I am so fortunate to be living and enjoying my life. And I am expecting a new baby in March! Most of us doing this well hardly ever go on here, but I still keep in touch with many of the ladies that went through chemo at the same time with on Facebook. The beginning is the scariest time, but you are all SO much stronger than you even know. Good luck!
0 -
Thank you Clarrn! your words are what I needed to hear right now. You give me hope that there is life after BC. I am 33 and 6 months out from my UMX surgery and three months into Tamoxifen. It has been a whirlwind and I often times have difficulty trying not to think about everything that has happened over this last year. After reading your story it gave me the positive outlook on life that I need for 2018. You give me hope that in 4 years I can be where you are now happy and truly enjoying life!
Congrats on your new baby do you know what you are having? Wishing you and your family all the best this year and all the years to come. Thank you for your inspiration and ray of hope.
Hugs,
Sara
0 -
hello all! I’m so glad I found this board. I don’t have any friends who have ever gone through breast cancer, so it’s hard to talk to them about it sometimes. It’s just nice to know there are others like me. I’m 34, diagnosed in November, had a mastectomy on my right side in December, and start chemo on the 12th
all with a 4 year old and a 4 month old! I should be enjoying my kids and my life, but here I am! Wishing the best of luck to everyone here!0 -
-
hi! I am going to do 4 rounds of taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin every 3 weeks, then a year of herceptin. I’m going to try to save my hair using cold caps, but I’m already losing some hair due to post partum hormones, so my expectations aren’t that high. I know 2018 just started, but I’m looking forward to 2019! :
0 -
Hi all,
Hope you all are doing well. When I got diagnosed, I just turned 30 as a newly wed girl. Now I'm 32 and finished my last surgery last month. I survived through 1.5 years of intensive treatments because I couldn't die before my parents who I love very much. They even retired early to take care of me.. :-(
This year, I'm studying to go back to school. Due to side effects and low white blood counts, I cannot work in a lab with carcinogens, pathogens or other types of microorganisms. I cannot have kids because I'm on tamoxifen (and I need to be on it because of my risk), but I have two rodent pets, awesome nephew and niece. I would love to have kids and I pray to God everyday that I want healthy kids in the near future.
While I'm on tamoxifen and childless, I plan to get a doctoral degree to take care of sick people including cancer patients. I don't feel too old to go back to school and I see this as an opportunity. please pray for me :-)
Happy New Year!
0 -
hello all,
I was diagnosed on Nov 1st with stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. I am 31 years old. I have a husband and a 2 year old daughter. I finished my AC chemo two weeks ago and just started my taxol chemo yesterday and it will go for 12 weeks. I will be honest the thing that scares me the most is the mastectomy and the reconstructive surgery. I have decided I want to do a double. The first surgery I had ever had was the port surgery. It is good to hear from people posting that the mastectomy wasnt to bad. Thanks all!
0 -
Hi, introducing myself. I'm Alexa and I was diagnosed in July last year at age 34, although my lump showed up the previous November. Since I had recently stopped breastfeeding, they thought it was related to that.
mabecker - I agree with most that the mastectomy was manageable. I had a double for peace of mind (and symmetry...no one wants to be lopsided
) The worst part for me was the wire localization (I had to have the stereotactic mammogram to get it in the right spot). The surgery and recovery was not bad - I did not get tissue expanders or have immediate reconstruction, though.wonderwoman - I am so with you about the 5 year thing - I want to see my girls (2 and 4) graduate high school, and then college. And I'd really love to hold my grandbabies. We have to stick to this and just live life and love our families with everything we've got! I'm looking forward to reaching that 5 year mark and every mark after that!
0 -
I found the mastectomy to be the easiest. Chemo wasn’t “that” bad. My daughter was 5 months old when I started chemo. She’s 8 months now and I have 1 dose of Taxol left then rads. I sent her to the sitters for 4 days after chemo. Then rallied with some coffee for a couple days after that and we shared an afternoon nap, I don’t feel like “my old self” but I am certainly not “the sick mom” either.
My biggest challenge at this point is a mental one. I get this paralyzing fear that I can’t shake, it keeps me up at night. I find it far worse to deal with than chemo side effects.
0 -
wonderwoman - I get it too. I' currently able to sleep ok with some Tylenol pm, but I am considering getting anxiety meds. I figure if it helps keep my stress down, it might be worth it.
0 -
xtraordinary- welcome and congrats on going back to school! Good for you! Sounds like you have big plans, I’ll be rooting for you.
Mabecker- I think most would agree that the Drains are the worst part after surgery, but they’re only temporary. Explaining over and over to a toddler why you can’t pick her up is no fun either though! Lots of sitting together on the couch helps
0 -
Oh, so many mothers on here with little ones! Mine were 1, 2 and 2 (twins). I thought the same thing...if I make it five years I will live to see...kindergarten? So many hugs for all of you putting on a brave face every day for your babies
0 -
hello everyone,
I’m 39 with a recurrence. My original diagnosis was when I was 34, I had a lumpectomy and radiation. I froze eggs at my first diagnosis and just when i finished rads I started a relationship with a man who I married. The marriage only lasted a year. We divorced. I have no kids, and im having a double mastectomy in a few days. I was very emotional first diagnosis and it is very possible that I was not ready for marriage, or that I rushed into marriage because of the life changing event called Breast cancer. I learned very quickly that he wasn’t for me. My mid to late 30s have been very eventful to say the least. Everyone has a different situation, and a different journey through all this,just figured I’d share my experience.
0 -
Crazy how the month flew by! I am three weeks post bilateral mastectomy and ax d. I have TE’s and had my first fill yesterday. I feel tight but it’s bearable. I would give anything to sleep on my side!! My hairs are growing back everywhere but I’ve been told not to use a regular razor on my under arms. Does anyone have this issue or have suggestions on an electric razor brand or if creams are allowed?
0 -
I'm 36 years old. My story is a bit of a miracle if you ask me. At 35 I decided I needed a mammogram. They fought me on it because I wasn't 40 yet. I push and even told them it was my grandmother (it was actually my great grandmother) who had breast cancer. They finally relented and let me get the regular mammo. Well, right after I lost my job. They called me back for further studies of "calcifications" of one spot in my right breast but I never went. Skip to a year later, I got that feeling again. I need to follow up on this mammo. So I start the process again. Had to fight to get them to pay again. Get a Tommo done this time. Get called back again for more views and an ultrasound. This time on 2 spots. This then led to a biopsy and now I have a wonderful diagnosis of DCIS. HR/PR +. But looks like so far there is no tissue involvement but it is on the verge with papillary extensions. I have not received the results of my MRI yet to see if there is anything else there. I am scheduled to meet my PS today. I have heard so many stories lately of people going through this in their 30's. My gyno said that there was not one reason for me to have breast cancer. It's not close enough in my family for that to be the cause. (I have had the genetic testing but it hasn't come back yet)
How many of us recently diagnosed are in their 30's? And why now is this becoming such a common thing? I've decided because I'm so young I don't want to deal with this coming back. I'm getting a double mastectomy to lower the chances. How many of you have the same thought process? How many of you are considering a hysterectomy after this as well if you are HR/PR+? So many questions....
0 -
Hi Lizzie, sorry you have to be here. It’s great that you advocated for what you need. It’s an essential skill to be equipped with now that you’ve joined this club. What people choose to remove of their bodies involve personal and complex decisions. From my lay knowledge, you don’t have to remove anything else if you’re not brca+. So it will be important to evaluate the risks versus gains of your consideration. These surgeries are quite consequential.
In answer to your question about frequency of younger women being diagnosed, I think the problem is that people give more weight to genetic influence of breast cancer than they ought to. Genetics are quite relevant for some. But our DNA is also fragile and our environment, exposure to toxins, etc. plays a role that makes for a greater impact than most people realize. Until they’re put in our position and are pushed to develop a different kind of awareness
0 -
Hi Lizzie, I was diagnosed seven months ago at age 36, and one of my best friends was diagnosed the summer before at 35. I actually have a strong family history of breast cancer, but genetic testing was negative...go figure. I also opted for a double mastectomy with tissue expander placement and had surgery in August. My exchange surgery is next month and I can't wait! I'm also taking Tamoxifen (3 months in), and it hasn't been bad for me at all. Good luck throughout the process, I hope things go smoothly for you
0 -
Hi Lizzie, I was diagnosed recently at 33. My mother had breast cancer at 58 (she was surviving and thriving recurrence free eight years later when she passed away from something else. I am by far the healthiest in my family and I am the only one to get cancer under 40 as far back as we know. I tested negative on the genetics too. I'm having a single nipple sparing mastectomy with expanders next week. I might do the other one later but they want the cancer out in my case first. My surgeon didn't want the healing of the prophylactic side to cause any delays in treatment.
I know we will never know and can't think about why but move forward. But my risk factor: Years on a Provera birth control, and stress.
0 -
hi I was dx last May at 33 after finding a lump, I had to push for an ultrasound and a biopsy because I was “too young” as well I was a few months out from weaning my twins so I was told it was changes in my breast. Since I was dx I had a bilateral mastectomy no recon, 6 rounds of fec d, rads x16, tamoxifen for 2 months then ovarian suppression with an AI to come, not really sure what to do about my ovaries!!! I am waiting for genetic testing to happen, still no strong history of breast cancer but I want to know for my girls 3.5 and 1.5 (twins). there are so many young women on here!with or without kids it’s a tough situation dealing with this when you’re so young. It sucks so much to see so many of us going through this crap but also comforting to know you’re all out there full of support, love and understanding!
Sending positive vibes to you all!
0 -
I got diagnosed when I just turned 30. My right nipple shape changed when was 28/29, but it was not enough to get a mammogram. No one in my family including my great grandparents had cancer. When I turned 30, I felt a lump right under my right nipple and I was allowed to get an ultrasound appointment. That's how I got my first mammo but it did not show anything because of my extremely dense breast tissue. Using the ultrasound-guided biopsy and MRI-guided biopsy procedures, my team found multiple tumors in my right breast. I had to get a mastectomy. My left breast is still healthy, but I prefer MRI because even with 3D mammo it's hard to see my breast due to lack of fatty tissue. Of course, my medical team sent my blood sample to a lab to see if I had any known genetic mutations linked to cancer. My results came back: all negative.
0 -
hi everyone,
I'm new to this and thought this might be the best area to vent and get some information. I'm a man and most men don't want to talk about this. My girlfriend of 8years, has been diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative bc. She just finished chemo and now in the process of figuring out surgery. We're both in our early 30s, used to be very active and pretty much spend our off work hours together. She's my best friend and such a strong beautiful person and it pains me to see her to through this and not say anythibg. I'm a control freak, I like to be in charge and figure out a solution. So is she, maybe that's why we match.
Anyway, it bothers me that I found out her emergency contacts are her mom and her sister, both over 2hrs away, when I'm the one here with her everyday, cooking cleaning, doing laundry, driving and anything else she needs, and they have never once went to chemo with her or offered to. I have taken every Friday half days for 5 months to make sure I could take her and be there with her.
I wonder if any of you ladies here have been in a similar position. What i mean is with a husband or wife, or with a significant other who you're not married to. I understand it's hard to talk about and don't want to think about it too much but how have you and your partner health with the whole process?
Also, she's thinking about a double mastectomy and possibly no reconstruction. It doesn't matter to me as long as she's alive and well. Yes, I love her breasts and she knows that, but I'm worried that I may not like her anymore after. I told her I'm with her through all this and it's not her body, but her that I fell in love with. Has anyone dealt with this and how was your reaction? I'm asking to understand from a woman's perspective.
Thanks, this was long. And keep fighting
0 -
hi lookingforanswers, your concerns make sense. It’s a shock to both of your systems to deal with this kind of illness, some of your concerns might overlap while others may differ between you and your girlfriend. You might want to be careful about how you post as this is a public forum and if she has triple negative bc, she might find herself here seeing your post and identifying you by details you share. And so if there is anything you’d be hesitant to communicate directly, I’d be mindful of that.
On the other fronts, have you communicated your concerns about being an emergency contact with her? And what it means to you? It sound like you’ve been a wonderful support for her and that you’re quite invested in her recovery. As I was going through my own treatment and digesting my condition at my pace, I had some of the most important conversations I’ve ever had with my husband. There’s a good chance that she’s sensing a lot of what you’re feeling, especially if you’ve been together for a while. Putting it on the table makes it easier, not harder. It makes it shareable as opposed to something that needs to be hidden. Even the concerns about her changing physical appearance, sharing your own uncertainty can be talked about so long as it is done with extreme sensitivity and delicacy.
0 -
lookingforanswers- it’s possible that her emergency contacts are her mom and sis just because that’s who it’s always been. I got remarried 3 Years ago, but I’ve been with my dentist almost 20. My sister is probably still my emergency contact in their system. They just may be her “go to”. You could lightly suggest “hey, do you think you should add me as an emergency contact?” (Maybe you already have)
I can’t speak for her regarding intimacy, but I know my husband a is a “boob” guy, and we’re still doing fine. But I had to make a conscious effort at the beginning to not let that lapse.
Hope this helps!
0 -
rhp268 and Cpeachymom, thank you for your answers, I have tried to discuss some of my concerns with her, however it gets difficult as she doesn't seem ready to share but i also think she's afraid and so am I,knowing how to bring things up in a gentle manner . that being said, we're both mental health therapists, dealing with other people's issues every day and I have no idea how she can still do her job everyday but at the end of the day you just don't want to talk anymore. She's strong, i know that. I hope she's not on this site, as i know she doesn't like to look up any of this and I have asked her not to as well. As far as the contacts. i guess it's not a big deal. I'm the first one she called when she found out and didn't say anything to her family and i believe her best friend for over a month after. She didn't know how.
I'll stand by her no matter what, and whatever decision she makes, it's her body and I'll support it as long as it gets her healthier and we get more time together.
Thanks again and thanks for not being judgmental. Like i said, guys don't really talk about anything like this and it's good to be able to share and learn from those who have/are going through this stupid disease.
Stay strong all of you
0 -
lookingforanswers, I agree with Peachymom. When I was with my fiancé even after six years, I still had my dad and brother listed as my emergency contacts. And my brother moved three hours away and my dad spent half the year 13 hours away. I just never gave it much thought to make it any different. It never really crossed my mind and as had nothing to do with my relationship with him at all.
As for being mental health practitioners and not wanting to talk when she comes home. This is a hard time on her, and you of course. A lot of things she has never thought before she is now being forced to think. I worked full time until the day before my surgery to keep my mind busy. However between work being busy, appointments, stress, getting things tied up, research, etc I was mentally drained at the end of the day and did anything I could to keep my mind off of anything remotely hard or stressful. Maybe she is too. I have a friend who is a psychologist and going through a tough time in her life now, and she said how shocked she was that she can guide other people in meant health but not herself. It must be harder when you’re on the inside looking in.
You seem like you have a supportive and great yet realistic attitude about this. Keep that up. This will be hard for you both and although it won’t be over in an instant, she and you will come out the other side like many others have.
0
