Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Thanks Jeanne
I don't know what happened with him but his loss!!! I find it hard to do the online dating thing because I am ME and that's it, my pictures are current, etc... I've met a couple guys on there a few years ago and I was disappointed because they weren't accurately describing themselves online. Ha ha ha, you have to let them drop and fluff??? I just had my DIEP reconstruction done in NOLA last year and love my new boobs!!
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I hope you ladies meet someone wonderful - God knows we all deserve that
I have to say, when I did on-line dating, the nicest guys I met were from Eharmony. POF was okay, met some good guys. I had the worst luck on Match for some reason.0 -
I think because POF is free it's not the best source, I have had no luck on match.com really, or any in general lol Maybe it's me and not the site? hmmm
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No, it's not you! Yeah, free sites = lots of men living in Mom's basement, lol!
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ha ha ha fearless that's hilarious and so true, reminds me of that country song online have you heard it?
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OMG, that song is so funny! Brad Paisley, I think?
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fearless ~ When I was getting my hair done today, the stylists were talking about a site that made me think of you and this thread. It's called "Meet Up," and it's not a dating site. It's a site to meet others in your area who share your interests. The stylist who was telling us about it is into rock climbing, and she said she'd met a great group of people who were all looking for other rock climbers. And she knew of someone else who found a knitting group through it. Anyway, just thought I'd pass it along, as it sounds like a great way to meet people with whom you have something in common, outside of the typical dating sites! Deanna
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That's the one fearless
I'll have to check that one out Deanna.0 -
Deanna, it is meetup.com, I think. I heard about it, but haven't looked into it yet. But I will!
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When I was on a dating site I had several pictures from super casual to super dolled up and some in between. It let guys see I was versitile.
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I never, NEVER, EVER, put any pictures online that I wouldn't be fine with having my kids see.
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Hey ladies! it's been an awful quiet thread lately. Hope that means you're out living it up
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How is everything with you, Dragonfly?
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Pretty quiet actually, no new news to share. How are you?
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Doing well. No job yet, but my Mom is our of the hospital so that eases the stress. Still must drive 30 miles one way to get our daily visit in. Quiet is a good thing.
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Hadley, of course he loves you! About your Match guy, I think you were spot on about he most likely lives at home. I am sure this puts a crimp in his dating life. Anyways, I do not think it's too bad if the longest he was out of touch was 3 days. If he goes longer than that, I would say forget it, but 2-3 days, I wouldn't kick him to the curb (yet). No, don't call him. If he wants to see you, he will be in touch.
I never heard from M. again. I don't know, thought at some point he might have just emailed to say hi or see how he was, but I'm just a blip on his radar now. Eh, life goes on.
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I don't know the fact that he lives at home would bother me slightly, but it depends on the circumstances and how he's trying to get out on his own again etc.... The other part though is that the conversation really seemed to lag and he seemed to struggle. Again he may have been nervous though. I wouldn't go after him, but see what he does, maybe give it one more date. How old is he?
I haven't had much luck, a couple guys I've been chatting with that want to go out. Why does it sound great and I get along well with them. But when it comes to actually meeting up with them in person I get anxiety and just expect the worst. I think because I'm not a size 6 I assume they'll be instantly turned off. Lame I'm sure but.....
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Dragonfly, I wouldn't worry about that - I don't think too many men over the age of 20 would expect their gf's to be a size 6. I read somewhere that the average US woman is a size 12, actually. Not sure how accurate that is, but that's what I read.
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Again, easier said than done
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Well, spent quite a bit of time with him.......found out a bit too much. Our lives just wouldn't mesh.......a bit different we are in many ways, so after much thought.....I ended it. Oh well, guess in my circumstances and situation I just don't want to settle and don't want to be hurt again, so guess I might try Match.com at some point. Maybe take a break for a bit, I don't know but do know........I am me and will be me..........
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Probably a good idea, hurts so much less now to end something than it does later.
Smart to realize that you deserve more and not to settle!0 -
Dragonfly, don't worry about your size. I think the big thing on profiles is to be honest, so if you have an "average" body type, then put that. And then put up some slammin' photos of you looking all sexy and whatnot. And they will say "average?" She looks amazing!
I think the most important thing for everyone is for their partner to put effort into their health and appearance. You don't have to be teeny, you just want to look put together and healthy. And I'm sure you do!
And honestly, any guy over 30 is probably not rocking the Adonis look, either. The guy who DUMPED me when I got cancer is 38, bald, and 5'6". Did I mourn him? No, I did not. He was a jerk; cancer proved that, and I have not thought about him since. I was hot before cancer, I'm hot now that I am bald, and when I have hair and plastic surgery, I will be hotter still. And if any man is so lucky as to see me naked and see any scars, he will get down on his KNEES and thank God for the opportunity.
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So very very very well put!!!
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Sweetbean, that is one of the best posts I have ever read here...
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you know, there is another thread about women with low self esteem. I feel bad for people who feel super self-conscious about getting intimate for the first time with a new guy. my take is this - if you think a guy will split when he sees you naked, then you are probably getting intimate too soon. i know the first time back in the saddle (so to speak) will be a bit nerve-wracking, so i plan on waiting until the guy is head over heels for me. if he isn't head over heels, then i will be moving on promptly. because the guy who is crazy about you inside and out will NOT care about a couple of scars. he truly won't. and the same goes for a couple extra pounds.
dragonfly, your picture is super cute, so you should be happy to get out there and do your thang!
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Like you said, the 1st time is scary. I was with a guy all through chemo, and surgeries. So he could care less. However as sweet of a guy he is, he wants nothing more than just a fwb kind of thing. I decided I want the full package or none. So I'm starting over with dating, so it's scary.
Thank you though for the compliment on my picture
I'm trying to do my thang 
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Good for you - you are going to find someone amazing! You have to make room in your life for what you want - I believe that very much. You will do very well!
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Hi Everyone!
Like some of you said, "I thought I would never have sex again!" I had a mastectomy on my right side, then an implant, after expansions, etc. The implant was in for over a year, and never really "took," and I was going through lots of pain. At that point, I met someone, through facebook (we had mutual friends) and he asked me out. We went on our first date, and it was magic. I wondered what would happen if we progressed to intimacy. I had to tell him what I had been through: we were going into NYC at Christmas-time and if I got "crashed into" by the crowds on my right side, it would have hurt a lot. I told him on the ride down, and he was so casual, so accepting. He even knew about the reconstruction process! Fast forward two months, when I was going to my implant revision surgery, and there he was, every step of the way. He even camped out at my place, cooking for me, and making sure I took my medicine on time, and didn't strain myself. He doesn't care that I have a reconstructed breast, with a scar, and no nipple yet. He is crazy about me and very attracted. (And like someone else here said, I am lucky that he is an ass and legs man!!)
On the flip side, when I first was diagnosed I was just beginning to date a guy. I called him the day I found out, and was sobbing. He was initially comforting and sweet, but then he took a walk, saying it was "just too much" for him...he was such a selfish individual...but I am glad he showed what he was made of sooner rather than later!!
I think part of what made it happen between me and the new BF is this: going through cancer did really make me a stronger person. More sure that I can get through things. More certain of who I am. More certain of what I want in my life, and who I want in my life. My BF saw this in me. It turns out that we had been traveling the same social circles for 10 years, and he marvels how it is that we never met. I think if he did meet me back then, pre-cancer, he might not have been interested. My new strength is part of what attracted him to me, he even told me that.
So there is hope!
Be well, all, and continue to embrace all the love in your life! : )
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You need to be prepared no matter what. There are no guarantees. I knew my last guy for 3 years. After my treatments, he was no longer attracted to me (although he didn't actually say that -long story) and ended it in an email.
My point is, they can leave after a week, or after years. If a man sticks around great - but you can't rely on men. Their minds change like the wind.
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Fearless, so right on... We have a great group of ladies here
I love running ideas and questions by everyone and getting advice. I've learned so much strength, through all this, and I've learned over the years I count on ME most. I count on ME for financial stability, for my happiness, for everything. Someone has to bring a lot to the table, to offer me a lot to be able to be a part of my life. My good friend asked me today, are you lonely, are you needing someone. I said no, and no. Would I like someone in my life, yes, absolutely, I'd love the whole package, but he wouldn't make me, ME.
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