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Comments

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    My hair was always wavy...curses!  It came in curly in the back, but wavy on the top and straight on the sides.  What a mess!!  It's actually kind of funny.  You can go to the nioxin website and answer some questions and it will tell you which product to get. 

     I like tall guys too, but wouldn't mind if the guy was at least my height or within an inch shorter.  Guess that is kind of shallow, but it's part of the attraction for me. 

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited January 2012

    Yikes, what a story!

    I just heard from one guy yesterday after many days of silence.  So I waited until this evening to respond, by then, he had also e-mailed me.   Seems like a nice guy - I'll probably see him again when I get home from my gig.  

    Also talking to a few really cool guys online.  I think I am supposed to have coffee with two of them when I get back.  Considering that my exchange is Feb. 2, I am going to be very busy from the 26th to the 1st! 

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Great sweetbean,  Your goin to be a mighty busy lady !  Have fun on your gig, too !   Hugs, Kiley

  • momof3boys
    momof3boys Member Posts: 63
    edited January 2012

    I am happily married, but, my sister was a divorced mother of 4 dependent children when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor (anaplastic astrocytoma). Brain surgery, hair loss, one year of chemo and course of radiation. The man that she had just started dating weeks before? He's still there, wonderfully supportive, five years later.

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Thanks momof3boys that is good to know.......Wishing you both well !    Kiley

  • momof3boys
    momof3boys Member Posts: 63
    edited January 2012

    Thanks, Kiley! You too. Best wishes!

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    I've got nothing exciting going on here. No dates planned. The one guy I really wanted to meet didn't come through. Must of met someone else.... So just keep chatting with a few and seeing what happens. Sweet bean sounds like she's having fun ;)

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Well the short guy called me tonight just to chat and confirm the date:We are suppose to be going to Red Lobster for dinner than dancing  Saturday evening. We will see how it goes.ft.

    Mom:   that is wonderful that your sister met such a compassionate man.

    I pray that we all meet someone that will cherish and care for us in healthy and not so healthy times.

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Beweare, this is a REALLY LONG post :) I'm on pof.com dating site, today when I logged out I saw this, I thought it was a great reminder to all of us:Why You Shouldn't Write Him Off

    By Rori Raye, Author of best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want and free newsletter.

    It's all too easy to decide a certain man isn't for you - we make such quick judgments from those first impressions. And if you're on Plenty Of Fish, you might think that there's plenty of choice, which means you shouldn't have to settle for someone who doesn't measure up.

    But giving a man a chance isn't settling - it's opening yourself up to the man who may ultimately be right for you. Here's why...

    MAKING SNAP JUDGEMENTS MEANS YOU COULD MISS YOUR MR. RIGHT

    Remember Charlotte and Harry on Sex and The City? The bald, sweaty, often brusque man was not Charlotte's ideal suitor by any stretch of the imagination. If Charlotte had met Harry at a bar and he had asked her out, she probably would have rejected him out right. But, as you may know, Harry was Charlotte's lawyer, so by default she was spending more and more time with him. Before she knew it, she was swept away by the "wrong" guy who was absolutely right for her and adored her like no other. Likewise, the perfect guy for you might not come in the package you've imagined... but you won't know that unless you give him a chance.

    The other thing to remember is that you wouldn't want a man to make a snap judgment about you. Think about the times a man has written you off without taking the time to discover all the wonderful things about you. So, if you find yourself thinking "he's too this" or "he's too that," stop and ask the very same questions about yourself. Are you the perfect height? The most desirable weight? Are you without flaws yourself? Remember that any man who dates you will also have to overlook your "imperfections"... and focus instead on what makes you who you are.

    YOU COULD BE SHORT-CIRCUITING YOUR CHANCES FOR TRUE LOVE

    Every single man who comes into your life - regardless of how long he stays or what kind of an impact he makes - will teach you something you need to know to get you to the next stage of your love life... and help you identify the right man when he does show up.

    Maybe this new man will turn into the best guy friend you ever had, maybe he'll open your eyes to parts of you that are more attractive than you've ever considered. Or maybe there's something about him that will clue you in to something you need in a man.

    Ask yourself: is there something I need to find out here? For instance, maybe he's an artist and you've only dated business-type guys, and this guy shows you how to appreciate the sensitive side in a man. Or it could be that this new man treats you so well that you'll realize you deserve so much more than what you've been settling for.

    BREAK THE PATTERNS OF YOUR PAST... AND FIND TRUE LOVE

    If you've been making bad choices in your love life until now - if you've had your heart broken too often or you seem to pick the same kind of men who aren't good for you - then you need to let a man grow on you in a different way. You need to learn to feel the pleasure of being loved and appreciated by a good man. And the only way to do that is to push yourself past your usual comfort zones and give different kinds of guys a chance - namely, the men who are pursuing you.

    Here's a quick little exercise that will open your eyes: write down the qualities you're looking for in a guy, then write down the qualities of the last four guys you dated. Are they similar? Are you repeating a pattern? Only by expanding your view of what constitutes a worthy date will you finally be able to break the patterns that have been holding you back.

    Before you write off a new man, give him six dates. Yes, six (unless he makes you feel uncomfortable or is disrespectful.) But if you find him pleasant enough, look past the initial lack of fireworks and simply spend time with him on a get-to-know-you basis. Forget the pressure of dating, and just get to know another human being. True chemistry only happens over time and when you feel safe with someone; this is the kind of chemistry that stands the test of time and plants the seed for a lifelong romance.

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Dragonfly

    Thank you so very much for that post. I so appreciate you taking the time to write it. It really helped me put things in perspective and start examing my pattern of picking men.

    Have a wonderful day and thanks agin

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    DF, great article, thanks for posting !  Hugs kiley

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    How are you doing Pixel?

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    DF, thanks for posting that article. It was well worth it. 

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    You are all very welcome... I found it very intriguing, I do see a lot of similarities with the few guys I've dated and the 1 I married. All on the immature side, maybe that's me trying to find someone funny and fun, and who knows what else. I do have to say that I have dated tall guys, short guys, and in between for height, and same for weight. Average, thin and heavyset/stocky.... So not overly picky there... Must be the personality I'm searching for???



    Also got an email from the guy I was going to maybe meet this weekend. He said he enjoyed talking with me but decided he just isn't ready to date right now. He recently moved from Alaska, trying to start his business and raising 3 boys!! So I responded with saying thank you for letting me know, and that if he ever wanted to hang out as just friends that would be cool too. I seem to find the guys who say they aren't ready all the time???

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    Good questions, DF. I don't see similarity among the men I dates (& married) but the end result has always been the same. Maybe I need to think more about this. Nice of the guy to email you and let you know so you're not wondering what happened. 

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited January 2012

    Whoa.  Six dates?  I don't know if could go on six dates with someone I'm not interested in.

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    That struck me as a lot too at first, but..... if the date is not unbearable than why not? I know the guy I recently went out with that burped at the table, wouldn't shut up, bad mouthed my company, I could NOT do 6 dates with him. However if the person is nice, but you may not feel a connection, how do you know if you don't give a fair chance? I think this story ties into really getting to know the other person, being best of friends and partners. So does it take more than 1 date to know this???

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    I think the 6 date idea isn't so bad...unless they have characteristics you know you wouldn't be able to tolerate or make you unhappy.  I have become friends with one of the guys I met online.  We play golf together and then go out for a drink and usually watch a football game.  I'm maybe rethinking that I told him we could just be friends.  He's beginning to be more attractive...so maybe the 6 dates is a good idea.

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Maybe I'm a little slow but.....I was hanging out with my guy for a year and a half before I realized How attracted we were to each other as more than just friends.  Alot of it had to do with the BC, surgerys, and my former husband leaving me after my mastectomy.  So I was dealing with alot of trust and betrayal issues, plus the aftermath of a devastating divorce.  So.......I was just checking out my whole situation, friends who no longer wanted to be my friends, family problems........

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    You go Hadley, I know you've been thru so much !  Glad to know your still getting out there !  Take care Hadley !    Hugs, Kiley

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Okay gang, I'm really down today.  Wondering if I'll ever find somebody and ready to give up. 

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Twoputter, I'm so sorry to hear that :( I'd say don't feel like that but I can really relate. It shouldn't be this hard! Keep trying, or maybe take a break. What's the old saying, you find it when you least expect it... XO XO XO

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    SO sorry your feeling like that twputter, it is hard !  I can relate as well, I was alone for 5 years after my dx. former husband stayed till after mastectomy but had woman waiting for him in another state. I just kinda disconnected from life for awhile, a very long while.....Not very healthy !  I still spend alot of time alone, I got to where I am so used to it that D. kinda bugs me LOL.  Although so glad he is in my life.  No it should'nt be this hard, but for some of us it is.    Hugs, Kiley

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    Hadley - its his way of telling you he's paying....

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Ha Ha Hadley, You Go Girl !  Sounds like some Good food !  Love your tenacity !   Hugs, Kiley

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    twoputter, sorry you are feeling so down. Don't give up but don't have your whole life revolve around finding a man. Find interesting things you like to do and spend time with friends. While it would be nice to have a partner, there is no guarantee. So keep looking but keep yourself busy with other things too. 

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hi Ladies

    Twoputter I am sorry you are feeling down tonight. Sometimes I get down as well.

    Think it is normal with what all we have gone through! Trust me, this feeling will go.

    Hadley  go at least for the meal lol.  Who knows it may be the man of your dreams

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Heck yeah, free meal is so worth it!!! Who cares if he's cheap ;) I don't know that I would of told someone i was taking them and using a gift card, but he may of meant it to just be funny?

    Ok ladies... so I had emailed back and forth with a guy online a few times, and text. He texts very randomly (a couple times a week or so) and will say he's thinking of me and hopes I have a great day etc.. he seems so sweet. We've had some great little conversations, but I don't know if he has any intentions of meeting. He's another single Dad, and owns his own construction business, and is 8 years sober still attends AA meetings which I could care less about. I just don't know if he's super busy, or trying to really take it slow and is cautious. How do I proceed? I always answer his texts, but don't know if I should keep texting back and forth or if I should say enough is enough? It's only been a month or so at the most. He seems like a really sweet guy but I just don't know if he's really interested or playing games or??? 

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    Dragon - I usually end up saying something like - Perhaps we should meet - I've enjoyed getting to know you "in cyberspace"... Will let you know their real intentions... You've got nothing to loose...

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    DF, I agree with kward .... suggest a meeting. It's time and if he says no, then you know it's heading nowhere. He might be shy so go ahead and suggest.

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