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Comments

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hi Ladies

    I have been reading your posts on this thread for months, but I felt like I should not post because I was married at the time (Separated now) I wrote a thread several months ago describing how my husband had treated me when I needed him to be there when I was having surgery (lumpectomy). He refused to come. Not unusual, he always seemed to not be there when I needed him' He has no conscience and does not seem to feel remorse. I am sure he is a psychopath.. Needless to say, I don.t miss him. He just created alot of stress. I would like an honest, kind, financially stabe man. So far, I haven't found one. Plus, I don't think a man would be interested in me because the divorce may not be final for 18 more months.

    I am 62 . What am I suppose to do be alone for another 18 months?

    For most of the time my husband was with me, I was alone  for 12 of the 14years in every way that it counts

    I am tired of being alone. Don't have many girlfriends and no family around. I would like a man to go out to dinner with and dancing.

    Thanks in advance for reading this.

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Hi paintedlady,  I'm sorry your on this boat too !  But welcome into our world of singles.  I can understand not wanting to be alone most of us are or were in that same place.  We just kinda bounce ideas off each other and situations etc.  Its a great place for support !  Alot of gals go online and meet people, I tryed match for 2 weeks but then a man I'd know for 3 Years spoke up and said he did not want me to date other men, so.......so far so good.........Good thing cuz I was kinda scared to meet most the guys online LOL.  But if this does not work out who knows..... Sorry you were alone so much with your marriage I've heard that alot, unfortunately, its esp. hard going thru this breast cancer and treatments alone.   Take Care,  Kiley

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Painted lady...welcome to our group. I'm about your age and have been single for over 20 years now.  Now that the kids are raised I too would like to find someone.  It's not easy.  I go through stages where I go online and then get discouraged and quit for awhile.  My friends are really helpful and I'm learning to be happy by myself, although I think we all enjoy companionship.  It may be helpful if you join some groups or clubs where you can meet people.  Other women can be a great source of support.  Maybe a book club, church group, dance lessons, college course, golf lessons or anything that interests you.  It may help you through this very tough time.  Anyway, glad you finally wrote us and hope that we can support you as you need someone now to listen and be in your corner. 

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    Ladies - I want DETAILS... I know there have been some dates going on.... I've got #3 this weekend.  He was working at night and I had a busy week at work so this is the next time wee could connect.

    Karyn 

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 762
    edited January 2012

    Nice long walk yesterday with Franklin, with holding hands and good conversation.  I am falling, sisters! xo

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Nothing new with me.  Never heard from Steve, and he sounded SO interested.  Figure he went back to  the girlfriend who had cheated on him.  Oh well.

  • julianna51
    julianna51 Member Posts: 21
    edited January 2012

    An evening with my gentleman (yes, that is a good thing to call him...he is so respectful and incredible manners).   Long conversation about reconstruction (I had told him previously what I was considering).  I'm like lovemyfamily....I'm falling!

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    D. and I took pup back to rescue home and had a nice time playing with Dogs and Pups.  And yes I did bring another home.  She is 3 years old and so well behaved !  She's been thru alot of homes, only because she had some unresposible owners.............But shes so well behaved I think she has found her forever home with me !  She looks alot like Chubs and gets along well with my cat.  Tomorrow she'll have a chance to hang out with D. and I all Day !  She is a little moony, missing her shelter home and friends of course but.........I think it will work out well with us.  She's laying on Chubs computer room blanket next to me,  Too Cool.      Hugs,  Kiley    Oh yes I have definately fallen for D. !  He is soooo good to me !  Yes, it can happen and even when your not lookin !

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Congrats ladies!!!! :) Way to go Kiley on finding a new dog (fingers crossed it works out) !! No new news for me. The guy that pays the most attention to me is a little on the annoying side, he talks/texts constantly and talks NON stop on the phone in a know it all way. We haven't even met yet, see good things come from talking on a phone ;) The one guy I think I have the most in common with is SO busy he doesn't text that often, but the chats we have had are GREAT!! So not sure when/if we'll meet up... Then there is another guy that I was supposed to have dinner with Wednesday and it didn't work out for us, so he said something about Saturday and that he'd be in touch as the weekend got closer. I'm not holding my breath on him either.... Don't know why these guys are on dating sites if they really don't want to meet? I get anxious and nervous but really?

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    I think guys get anxious and nervous also, but I wish they woud'nt set up a tenative date and then not call or text you.  It is not very courteous, also when they say their going to call and don't that is sort of rude !  I hope one of them works out for you this weekend, DF !    Take Care, Kiley

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Thanks for your input Kiley and Twoputter. Noticed you all  like dogs: I have 3: a poodle, maltese and yorkie.

    I am happy for you that some of you have found nice guys.

    I went to a Moose Lodge that is near my house tonight because they had live entertainment and there is no smoking.. It was all couples. I stayed about an hour and watched the couples dance than I left.

    I am just sick of looking at the four walls in my house. It didn't bother me at all while I was going through chemo and rads, but it is getting to me now.

    Well everyone have a good evening..

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Painted Lady...good for you for getting out there!  My little ShihTzu died in October so I'm starting to be interested in finding another ShihTzu.  I didn't think I ever wanted another dog because her death was so difficult and I didn't want to go through that again.  But now...maybe.  Question:  has your hair grown back in and do you wear a wig?  I feel kind of like a fraud when I do meet someone I've talked to online and I wear my wig.  Just doesn't seem authentic.

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hi Twoputter

    Shih Tzus are adorable. Do you have any particular color preference. I knew a couple who had a brindle colored Shih Tze: He was so cute.

    My hair started growing in last May. I took the wig off about a month ago. The hair has been growing very slowly. It is about 2 inches long now. I know what you mean about the wig!

    When did you finish chemo?

    I plan to go out dancing tonight. I do enjoy the music and dancing.

    I am not very trusting. I just don't what to get involved with another psychopath. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.

    The psychopath left me financially broke. It is more difficult to recover at my age. I never met someone who turned out to be so lazy and such a liar.

    Have a great day Twoputter

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 762
    edited January 2012

    Painted lady, go girl congrats on getting out there, it is so hard.  Being taken by that psychopath must have been devasting.  I feel for you.  God bless all my bc sisters, may we find love and light!

    xo

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Good for all of you getting out there !  Cheers to all finding nice Men !  (there are some out there)    Hugs,  Kiley

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Well I never heard from the 1 guy so I guess he's not really interested in making plans for today. At this point I've made other plans with friends so too bad!! :(

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    DF - His loss - I think guys play the feild where women put all their eggs into one basket when it comes to dating. 

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    I finished chemo in the middle of July 2011.  Hair is about an inch long.  I'd colored it for so long, I didn't realize how grey it was!  It's salt and pepper.  I'm thinking about going without any hat or wig unless going out on a date, and then I'll wear my wig for awhile longer.  My ShihTzu was brindle colored.  Adorable. 

     I have a girlfriend who also met a sociopath (probably not psychopath) online.  They married but lived apart (red flag) and he tried to take her for her money.  Also said he couldn't talk at night because his phone was charging.  Think he had a wife or girlfriend in the city he lived in.  Fortunately, she is very close with her finances and when he tried to move some assets from his name to hers to avoid lawsuits that was the last straw.  He was just out for himself.  They bought some acreage and she took money out of her mutual funds for the down payment.  He was supposed to make the payments on it, but guess what...never did.  I do agree though that there are some nice men online.  Just have to follow your instincts and protect your assets no matter what. 

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    two putter - I finished Chemo in June 2009 (25th?) and went without the wig for good in September (middle) 2009.... My hair was probably the length of yours.  I used a little gel and pushed it to the side so ir looked like I had a style.  I also used Mane and tail shampoo and Nioxin - not sure if it helped my hair grow but worth a try.  I also took Biotin (B vitamin).  

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Thanks.  I had heard about the nioxin, but haven't gotten any yet.  Will give it a try.  Have a good weekend!

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    Just got back from a week in Boca Raton, Florida. Sounds like you ladies have been busy - a lot of reading here to catch up on. 

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Welcome back HRF :)

  • pixelsupply
    pixelsupply Member Posts: 16
    edited January 2012

    I am a mutilated dried up old woman at 49 due to cancer and my treatment. The idea of waking up in the morning is hard enough, let alone trying to date. I am just trying to live with the fact I will be alone for the rest of my life, however long that will be...

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Come on pixel...49 is young!  I don't know if you're on arimidex or not.  It's not a picnic; I feel quite a bit older since I've been on it and I'm 61.  No reason to be alone if you don't want to be.  As we have discussed here, it's not easy to find someone but it is possible.  I think we've all felt like you are feeling.  Hope it's just a bad day  Believe me, I've had more than a few.  Anyway, we're here to support you.

     BTW, I picked up some Nioxin shampoo today.  I figure it can't hurt.  But I didn't buy the whole package; pretty expensive.

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hello Ladies

    Well, I went dancing last night. Ran into a guy I know. He asked me out to dinner and dancing for next Saturday.

    He seems nice, but don't they all at first! I am really having an issue over his height. He is barely taller than me when I have 2 inch heels on. I always had a preference for tall men. He spoke about having "an attraction" but I felt nothing. I think his height is turning me off. This is shallow for a 62 year old woman right?

  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 320
    edited January 2012

    Does he know about the BC? And if so is he okay with it? If I could find a man who truly loved me bad foobs and all his height would not concern me.

    Of course being that I'm only 5' 1" makes it easy for me to say that.....  Wink

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Pixel

    I think it is usual to feel old and worn out for a while after treatment. I stayed in bed most of the time for months while going through the treatmenta

     The fatique is starting to finally lift. It is about time! Hope as time goes on, you will feel better and better

    Twoputter

    Is your hair growing back curly? My hair came back curly. I had straight hair before the chemo. When I decided to color it last week, lots of the curl left. WooHoo!

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    Painted Lady - I'm 5'8" and always seemed to date guys 6 feet and taller.  My last two guy were my height and shorter.  Give it a shot -

    Karyn

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hi Chil

    Sorry didn't see your post while I was just posting. Sorry for all the posts.

    Yes I did tell him about the cancer. He seemed very supportive.

    I am 5'5" If I put my boots on that have 3 inch heels, I will be taller than him. He also just turned 70. I was hoping for someone a bit younger. He isn't bad looking and he physically is in good shape.

    He has some personality aspects that I like about him. I would like him better if he were 6 ft tall!

    Maybe I am just too old to feel attraction lol

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Yes, Welcome back hrf !  Hope you had a great time !  I've got a serious case of warm weather envy. Pixel, Wecome here, I know how hard it is going thru this stuff alone !  Good news is you are not alone ...... We are here to support you !  I know it is hard to think about dateing and relationships at this time, believe me I've struggled with it !  Just had 1st rocky weekend with guy I'm seeing.  It's not easy, but this thread is important for single ladies, who struggle thru this stuff by ourselves.  Twoputter I'm going to check out that nioxin too.  I hope they have a formula for extremely dry hair.  Due to treatment, my hair has been thinning, terribly and I'm 5 years down from treatment.  What a bummer !  I'm trying Bioten, coconut oil, argon products, without alot of success so ...... Will see if nioxin has a product that will help.   Oh yes must get BIG bottle of fabreeze, rescue dog has had some very strange issues.  Oh well, Anyways,  Kiley

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