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Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

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Comments

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Good idea ladies!! :)

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited January 2012

    Totally.  I generally give someone 3-4 e-mails, if they haven't asked me out by then, I move on.  Some guys just want to e-mail and I don't have time.  I have two first dates set up for when I get back to CT and I will probably have a first date with J. and a second date with N.

     Then there is always D - I can't tell if he is interested or not.   My gut tells me he is, but that he is proceeding very slowing.  He's the only one who knows about the cancer, because we have known each other for years.  He actually googled me in Feb 2011 and found a fundraising site that my friends set up.  Even though we hadn't spoken in years, he donated and has been incredibly sweet and supportive this entire time.   He's funny, cute, single, successful, and lives 10 minutes from me.  If he asked me out on a date, I would go.  But I don't want to push the issue - he has to make the first move.

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 762
    edited January 2012

    twputter

    so sorry you are feeling low.  It sucks, I know.  I pretty much hibernated my first year out of treatment.  Don't you forget it girl, you are BEAUTIFUL and somebody is going to be very lucky to get you! Love and light to you! xo

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    For me moving slowly texting, e-mailing is not such a bad idea.  Good way to find out who he is and if you have common interests.  I think a person gets into more trouble jumping right into something  their not comfortable with.  Expectations are always so high for both parties, getting to know someone slowly is sometimes more prudent and I think jumping into meeting someone right away leads to alot of anxiety IMO.  Your probably e-mailing others and texting others too....so if you enjoy his communication I would continue, nothin wrong with being friends first then see.....The main thing is that your not giving up Df, and with that I know your going to find a great guy !     Hugs,  Kiley

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 762
    edited January 2012

    PAIN--he broke up tonight--PAIN sadness tears Idon'tever want to love again

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Well he text tonight to say hi, ask how my day was and that he hoped I was doing good tonight. I text back and said that my day was good, not as crazy as yesterday. Then I said you set some time aside so we can meet soon, just a thought :)

    Another guy I messaged on POF last night wants to have dinner tomorrow night, we talked tonight for about 30 minutes. He was blown away by how much we have in common and how similar my profile matches him and his likes and dislikes etc... He really seems like a nice guy but we'll see. He's from here in town, is an electrician, has 2 girls (10 and 13) the 13 year old goes to the same school as my girl lol... Here we go again with the small town stuff :) He went on a date last week with a girl from my work. We have 8 buildings so I have no idea who he went with, said she was in accounting but they didn't hit it off.... Of course my curiousity is really going :) Then have 2 other guys that want to meet up with so we'll see about this weekend!

    love my family, I'm so sorry sweetie, thats got to be horrible :( When is he leaving, he's moving away right? Many hugs to you <3

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    lovemyfamily .... so sorry....

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Oh dear !  I'm so sorry, lovemyfamilysomuch.....I know how much you cared for him, so very sorry ! Hugs, Kiley

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited January 2012

    lovemyfamily, i'm so sorry - that totally sucks!    How long had you been dating?  Ugh. Dating is hard.

     this guy that i have been e-mailing sent me a fairly odd e-mail today.  something about my sexy shoes.  *sigh* and he seemed so normal. 

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Lovemyfamily...so sorry for your loss and pain.  It is heartbreaking.  It's disappointing not only for what you had but what you thought you might have in the future.  My heart goes out to you.  You're not alone.

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Went on a date tonight, almost didn't make it. So fun being on call 24/7, had a minor travel emergency to deal with. I made it, he was nice, not sure what to think of his personality, and poor guy was coming down with a cold :( I hope he didn't share lol... Anyway that's it for me as updates.

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Lovemyfamily

    Sorry that happened to you.

    I tend to keep a wall up, but I really don't think that is healthy. I just don.'t trust these guys

    But that is just me.

    I am keeping this short because I am feeling very tired from a cold. 

    All of you have a great weekend

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    (((lovemyfamily))) .... thinking of you. In hindsight were there any signs? Not that it matters and it won't lesson your pain ... please know you can vent here as much as you want. We understand.

  • julianna51
    julianna51 Member Posts: 21
    edited January 2012

    lovemyfamily - Big virtual hugs.   I am so so sorry.   The pain of breaking up always seems to hurt like the first time.   Sending you lots of comforting thoughts and I hope that the pain lessens each day.

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hi Ladies

    Hope everyone is having a good evening.

    I am home early from the date I had tonight with the guy that I had mentioned.

    First of all, he was sharped tongued. A feature that I don't like. Just on that basis I would never go out with him again! After going to Red Lobster, we went to this dance but the only thing you could buy there are soft drinks; unless you bring your own booze in. Well we danced some then he said that he was going to buy some booze and he would be back in less than ten minutes.

    I thought "what a double jerk, now I can get away faster" So I lefty when he went. He has called me and left voice mails but I haven't answered

    That  was my night

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Sorry bout your date paintedlady, seems like we pick alot of toads first !  But at least you got to leave.  It can be exasperating though !  I'd rather be home by myself than with a jerk !  Oh yeah, I am home alone LOL !            Kiley

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Kiley

    You made me chuckle with your comment at the end of your post. lol

    He has called me 5 times in an hour and a half and each time left a voicemail. I haven't answer.He claims he is worried that I am okay and it is "not fair to leave" him "hanging like this" I think if I talk to him it will only drag it on. I would think it should not be difficult to figure outthat if I am not answering him then I am not interested.

    Sarcasism really turns me off. I just will not tolerate it. I don't feel that I owe him an explanation.

    I find it rather odd that he can't figure it out as to why I left!

    So now we are both alone lol

    But maybe tomorrow we will meet a prince!

  • twisted steel
    twisted steel Member Posts: 14
    edited January 2012

    Painted,

    I am new here so take what in say w a grain of salt. I understand you're not interested in this guy, but why aren't you going to talk or text or leave a msg for him. Imagine if you stepped out for something on a date and when you returned the guy was gone and then ignored you.



    Everyone over 25 has had bad experiences w the opposite gender. Just communicate to this guy that you're fine, but don't think you and he are a match.



    I don't get why being like this to him is ok, bc I would call the guy a total jerk ass weeny if he ditched me w no explanation.



    Again, not wanting to get in a tizzy over it. Just offering perspective.



    TS

  • paintedlady
    paintedlady Member Posts: 228
    edited January 2012

    Hadley

    Glad you had a nice time. Do you think you will see the guy agin? by

    Twiste

    The guy was harsh and condescending to me. I am 62 years old. I was talked to like that by my soon to be ex. I don't believe someone that has so little respect as to talk to me like that deserves an explaination!.

    May all of us Sisters have a peaceful, nice day.

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Kward...how's it going with you?  The firefighter?  You see I am living vicariously through you.  LOL

  • pixelsupply
    pixelsupply Member Posts: 16
    edited January 2012

    twoputter

    thanks for asking, but nothing going on here...just the same ol' crap...I won't write again, just bringing the group down. Glad so many of  you ladies have the courage to get out there...its just not in me.

  • kiley56
    kiley56 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2012

    Hi Pixel, Hope you feel better !   Your not bringing me down, believe me I've been there !  Hi Hadley, so glad your getting out..... Painted lady, If some man was harsh and condescending to me on first date, I'd sure be looking for the back door LOL !  At my age I'm not going to put up with something I'm not comfortable with, No Way !        

  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012

    Two putter - thanks for asking the FF is good.  He came over last night, I made dinner and we watched the Patriots play football.  Since the game was going to end late, I told him before the date that he could stay for "sleep only".  he did and it was nice.  I'm a light sleeper and he didn't snore (big plus for me). I normally wouldn't have guys to my place so soon but we were set up and have many mutual friends.  At 1/2 time we went in the hot tub (suits on) and the entire night was nice. 

    Hope everyone has a good week...

    Karyn

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited January 2012

    I have a question for you ladies .... with all of our collective experiences ... good and bad ..... if you met a guy and he told you on the first dae that he had a serious illness - and that if you had a relationship you might have to be a caregiver .... would you continue to date him? Or would you cut him out from the beginning? I'm not sure what I would do ..... 

  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 320
    edited January 2012

    I would say no, not because of my BC but because I already went down this road with my husband.

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    Honestly.... On the 1st date I don't know what I'd do? My heart is too big, it would be hard to walk away. Unless of course I felt no connection or interest.

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited January 2012

    Oh my lord, on the first date?  Talking about me being a caregiver?  That's a lot of information and a lot of pressure.  

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited January 2012

    I agree sweet bean!!

  • twoputter
    twoputter Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2012

    Hrf...are you talking about us?  Isn't that our situation?  At least it is a possibility in our futures. But is it more honest and forthright to wait?  Dilemna I've been struggling with for sure.

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited January 2012

    I think she is talking about us.  However, I think a first date is just too soon to have a conversation like that.  I have been on three first dates in the last few weeks and will go on a few more and the subject of cancer will not come up.  Quite frankly, it's not their business yet.  We could not work out for a bunch of reasons, like he is rude to the waitstaff, so why bother bringing cancer into the equation?  I'm not bringing up my health history until I feel like their is a real connection there.  And then, I will give him a "Get Out of Jail Free" card - a chance to bolt if he needs to.  If he can't handle it, then I don't need him.  But the first date is too soon - I would probably bail myself.

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