Australian Sisters

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  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 1,422
    edited June 2013

    Kazzie - you need to read a book I just bought - 'Will I Ever Be Good Enough' by Karyl McBride PhD - it's for the daughters of narcissistic mothers. I'm reading bits of it, but it looks like I've already come to terms with the whole issue and keep contact at a minimum. My mother's reaction to my bc was - 'How could Susan do this to me' - enough said

    Kate - what an old prick

    I've been reading but haven't had much to say - hi everyone!!!

    Sue

  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2013

    Hello again, it has taken me a little time to catch up on all the news....



    Kate, good on you standing up for yourself with FIL, I was absolutely horrified as I read your story, bullies need to know that you can't be bullied!



    Mandy, great work for your cancer support group, you are an inspiration.



    Delvzy, great to read that you will be running again! I saw you comments on the running discussion board so we can catch up on our mutual progress there....



    Annette, you are entertaining as usual...



    I got my test results last week. The chest x-ray was clear but the scan showed a tiny spot in the spine at T12 which they are 99% sure is OK but they are not prepared to commit (or at least that's how the Dr explained it to me).... He is away next week but was kind enough to ring me late on Friday to speak to me about the result so I just didn't get a call back and then have to wait over a week to see him. At this stage, it seems that I could have more tests to follow.....



    On a more positive note, we are spending the weekend in Dubbo! We had a lovely day at the zoo (although I was expecting more spacious animal areas given the location). The highlight was a baby siamang monkey who will turn 1 next week...beautiful :-)



  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2013

    Karen and Jenn, I just saw your posts after I'd finished mine....go girls!



    Jenn, it seems we'll have something else to celebrate at the get together :-)

  • Kazzie61
    Kazzie61 Member Posts: 418
    edited June 2013

    Sue.....your mother could be mine! My cancer (bearing in mind mine is now terminal) is all about her. Like your mother, it's how could she do this to me??!! Both my sister & I are learning to keep her at arms length but the 'good daughter' comes out & we feel guilty. I don't even want her there when my time comes to an end!! When i got my first good news scan she said 'you must be relieved but you cant imagine how i feel'!!!! HELLO....who's the one dying here! I think I will check that book out.....



    Karen xox

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2013

    Same with my mum, that's why she never knew I was stage IV.

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737
    edited June 2013

    Well done Kate, the laugh really is against your FiL because if you read the article she is that woman is one of the richest women in the world. But you really did need to put him in his place as rudeness is not necessary. My DD2 is great like that with her FiL as he is quite domineering so she calls a spade a spade and tells him off.

    We had a great day and our new DiL was introduced to the wider family and lots of our friends. She actually coped with the craziness extremely well.  All DGS wanted to do saw sing happy birthday to Grandad because he saw the cake on the bench, for him that was the party.

    Now we have to get through next Friday when the family leave.

    Hope you all had a great weekend.

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 1,422
    edited June 2013

    Kazzie - my daughter told me about it - she has 9 criteria in the book - my mother meets 8 of them. The book mainly tells of different experiences, but I am now browsing the end, where I notice she talks about severing contact, or keeping it to a minimum. I certainly don't feel inadequate now, so I must have had the strength to deal with it.

    The worst thing she has told me was that when she was pregnant with me, she had a threatened miscarriage. I was interested because babies exposed to a drug around that time (Stilboestrol) have 4 times the risk of getting breast cancer. She thinks she was given tablets, but said she stopped taking them because they made her feel sick - it's a wonder I was born.

    Recently, she said she wishes she had never gone to NZ - well neither my brother or I would exist if she hadn't.

    Steve wants me to tell her how I feel, but she wouldn't take any notice and I don't want to hurt her - she's nearly 85. I did tell to get f'd recently but she didn't hear me unfortunately. I did write to her once and told her how hard it is to love her - she never took any notice, so there's no point in trying again.

    Aly - we are coming to NZ on the 5th December - mainly for an Uncle's 60th wedding anniversary, but it looks like he may not survive until then (prostate cancer). If anything does happen to him, we are still coming over and will stay with couzzie bro in Birkenhead - we maybe could arrange a meet up. We might go to the Bay of Islands, as we missed it when we did our Nth Island tour.

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737
    edited June 2013

    Suzie love to meet up so let me know what you are doing when you get here.

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 1,422
    edited June 2013

    Aly - trouble is, you might be over here for the Sydney get together. We'll have to wait and see - the party is scheduled for the 7th Dec in Napier - if anything bad happens wé won't be going down there. We come back on the 11th, so there should be time to find you in Auckland.

    It's funny - I call my uncle's wife Aly - they are in Remuera.

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737
    edited June 2013

    Will certainly be back before then. Had hhoped to get to Adelaide but it looks as if there will be a wedding in Prague next year so  will have to save some money.

    I am playing around on the computer tonight while DH watches cricket - do like cricket but I prefer test matches - I know that's strange.

  • Trisha-Anne
    Trisha-Anne Member Posts: 1,661
    edited June 2013

    Hello girls



    Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend.



    Kate, you go girl, I wouldn't, have expected anything less from you though :-). Yes, you have a ride to Canberra, no problem. Do you need a bed too? You can stay with us if you would like.



    Tammy, not exactly what you wanted to hear, but it's so nice of the dr to have called you. Will keep everything crossed for you.



    Jenn, looking forward to seeing the new nipples! Lol, nowhere else but here could that not be taken the wrong way :-)



    I'm sorry to hear about all the issues some of you have with mothers, you would think mothers of all people would be better!



    Take care all



    Trish

    xox

  • Kate60
    Kate60 Member Posts: 523
    edited June 2013

    Hi girls. Yes I do agree that some in-laws (and other family members) seem to belong on another planet when it comes to showing care and compassion towards their family members. I can only put them into an odd box. Sorry for everyone else who has not been supported as they should, especially from their mothers. That is just so wrong and so tough.

    Thanks for the offer of a bed Trish. I will probably have accommodation with my old GF's. They are going to throw me a pyjama party. I'd invite you Trish, but you don't wear any and that would be awkward (ha ha).

    Have been an unwell girl today, but don't waste any sympathy on me, it was self induced. I drowned my sorrows over yesterday's episode well and truly. I swear.... I will NEVER drink again!

    I'm going to a ball on Saturday night. I've never been to one before. I have bought a long flowy white dress (it's them is winter wonderland) I am hopeing I look more like an ice-maiden than a bride. I have some lovely bling to go with it and am getting a spray tan too. Oh and first time ever I've worn false eyelashes. They are not rediculously long or thick and have taken a bit of getting used to but I like them. My SIL says I have turned into a Ball Monster. I have been getting a bit carried away with it all Laughing. Unfortunately my DH is away, so my BIL is escorting me as well as my SIL. She bought the same dress as me except in a different colour. I will post a pic afterwards I promise.

  • Jennt28
    Jennt28 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited June 2013

    Hehe Kate. We are due to go to a winter wonderland theme ball on the 21st. Want to post that dress over here when you are done? :-)



    Jenn

  • Kate60
    Kate60 Member Posts: 523
    edited June 2013

    Sure can Jenn. Heck, not like it is going to get much use in my wardrobe. Seriously, if you want it, I can post it over. It has a silvery shawl too.

  • aussie12
    aussie12 Member Posts: 421
    edited June 2013

    Hi all

    Have been reading but not posting.

    I am so mad, got home from work today and one of my rosemary bushes out the front had been cut right back !!! I rand Dad and he hadn't been around, he sometimes does stuff without asking me. I am pretty sure it was my neighbour, what cheek to cut back my rosemary on my side of the fence !!! The only reason I can think why he would do it is because there are bees there at the moment. That's still no excuse to cut back my plant on my property !!! I will go and ask neighbours tomorrow and will give them a piece of my mind if it was.

    I know this isn't much compared to what some of you others are going through but I just had to get it off my chest.

    Goodnight all

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2013

    Oh dang Aussie, what cheek!  I hate when thing like that happen and rosemary grows reasonably slowly too.....what a pain!  I'd give them more than piece of your mind.....the cheek!  Hope they haven't damaged the plant by cutting it back so severely.

    You are welcome to explode here any time you like.....we all need a place where we can do that in safety.

    Love n hugs.   Chrissy

  • Kate60
    Kate60 Member Posts: 523
    edited June 2013

    Aussie. Perhaps tell them that they have trespassed and destroyed property? I know that sounds extreme but that is basically what they have done and they have NO right to do that. I'd be so pissed. Like Chrissy says, I hope that your plants haven't suffered permanent damage. But you'll have to say something otherwise same thing will happen next year when the bees come back.

  • kyliet
    kyliet Member Posts: 587
    edited June 2013

    Aussie - that really stinks. What cowards they are.

    Kate - your dress sounds wonderful, photos please.

    Trish - I hope your job is going okay.

    Jenn - We all called it 'show and tell' when exposing our boobs. Is it another full operation for your nipples?

    Racy - happy holidays.

    Sue - good to hear from you, I hope you are well.

    I am having lots of pain on my BC arm, throbs like mad down from shoulder to fingers. It isn't swollen so hopefully no LE. Will get it checked out.

  • Kazzie61
    Kazzie61 Member Posts: 418
    edited June 2013

    Sue....I think we could swap 'horrible mother stories' forever! I'm sure you can't beat this one......she told my sister & I if she had her time over she wouldn't have kids!! lol

    Anyway, I have downloaded the book you suggested, looking forward to reading it...



    Aussie....vent away, I believe that's what our little group is for! The cheek of the neighbour - or whoever cut it back - I'd be pretty pissed too & have something to say...



    Kate....can't wait for pics of your princess dress! Hope you have a fab evening.



    Kylie....good luck at the docs, hopefully it's something simple & logical & easy cured....fingers crossed for you.



    Alyson....a wedding in Prague! How wonderful. Prague is one of the most enjoyable places we've been to on our recent 'world' travels....lol. Great food, great shopping, great sights, just great everything! Start saving!!



    Racey....have a lovely holiday & don't forget to post to some pics :)



    Not much happening in my world.....which is a good thing. lol

    I have a list of people wanting to catch up for coffee or lunches, I need to try work it out so it's not too full on! My poor little old body can't handle it these days......



    I've decided to start knitting.....haven't done it since my kids were little so should be interesting! I went to Spotlight & bought the wool yesterday, which just happened to be half price one day only!! Which is just as well in case I stuff it up! I'm knitting myself a cardigan.....hopefully!!



    Hope everyone is having a good day.



    Karen xoxox



  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 1,422
    edited June 2013

    Kazzie - eeek - sounds like our mothers would get along really well. My Dad died of cancer at 65 - no wonder.

  • mandymoo
    mandymoo Member Posts: 632
    edited June 2013

    Hi everyone, I thought that I would share my good news. My tumour markers are down to 60!!!! I just cannot believe it, and I dont know wheter to laugh or cry (lol x). Cancer is definitely under control including the bones now. What is showing up on the bone scan is now the scarring as the Xeloda is killing the cancer and the Denosumab is building more bone cells ( that is how the onc explained it to me today, he says it is mainly scar tissue so that is good news indeed. So unless I come up with any symptoms, we keep going for another 3 months, wahoo!

    Kazzie, I am glad that someone has been on Xeloda for 5 years, that is inspirational news indeed. During the first round, I had really bad side effects with abdominal cramping and constipation and then diahhroea as well as blisters on the soles of my feet and in between my toes and even on the tips of my toes! My dosage has been reduced to 2 tablets in the morning and 3 in the evening and the side effects are a lot milder now but they have not gone away. I can deal with that!! I havent lost my hair with Xeloda though, but my hair has always been very thin and I lost all my hair with chemo 6.5 years ago. I lost all my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, hair on my face etc. I am not a hairy person  at all (I dont even have to shave my legs - never have)  and all my hair is very fine, but gee was it uncomfortable when I was completely bald. My hair is even thinner now, and I like to wear a hairpiece (lol).  I had no response on Xeloda after the first round (my tumour markers were still rising, but after the second round, my tumour markers started to go down. I am very lucky that the tumour markers are a good guideline for me as I know that is not the case for everyone.) After 6 rounds of chemo, I had MRI of the brain, CT scan of the chest and a whole bone scan to confirm the tumour markers and shrinkage of the mets. 

    It's raining cats and dogs at the momen, so we definitely got your weather.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2013

    Oh Mandy that is fabulous news!!!!!! Doing a happy dance around my living room for you........lol. Here's hoping that it works for a long long time without any new SEs and the ones you have now stay in the handling column.



    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • mclark55
    mclark55 Member Posts: 92
    edited June 2013

    Hi all you lovely ladies.  Been a really long time since I visited here - sorry about that, I've missed our chats.  DH came back from Perth all fired up with new ideas, long story short we're moving back to Perth in a few weeks!  Just took out time from packing up boxes and talking to our real estate agent to come here and post the news.  DH was offered a very good job and they are paying our moving costs!  Huge!  Happy!  So you Perth ladies, look out.  It would be great if we could all get together at some point.  I would love to put faces to names and have a good ole chin wag with you. 

    More later (just have to get the house to sell now - send me some good juju will you?)

    Hugs and kisses

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited June 2013

    Yay Marnie! How lovely! Do consider coming to the get together in Sydney at the end of November, I'm sure we'd all love to see you there and it will be a great opportunity to be able to put names and faces together of a lot more of us.



    Hope the move goes smoothly and your house sells quickly.



    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • Trisha-Anne
    Trisha-Anne Member Posts: 1,661
    edited June 2013

    Oh Mandy - that's such wonderful news to start the day with!  Yahoo!! Yay!!  I'm doing a happy dance too (but around the office lol lucky there's no-one here yet).  I'm keeping everything crossed too - that you don't have an increase in se's and the Xeloda continues to work for you for many, many years to come.  :-)  I can't keep the smile off my face!

    Marnie - that's lovely news from you too - how exciting for you.  Hope the move goes smoothly.  Having just moved and only moving 60odd kms, I cannot imagine moving from the other side of the world.  Makes me shudder lol.  Let us know when you get here and as Chrissy says - if you are able to make our get together in Sydney at the end of November please come along, there will be quite a few of us there.

    Hope everyone else is going well.  Kylie - my job is going well.  Everything good here at the moment, they've even said that with my photography business going so well, that if I want to cut back to four days a week I'm welcome to.  I'm thinking about it really hard, it's very tempting, but it will probably have to wait another 12 months or so.  We aren't taking a wage from the business yet - still lots of equipment to buy, so all the profits are going into that.  It was nice of them to offer though.

    Trish

    xoxo

  • Kazzie61
    Kazzie61 Member Posts: 418
    edited June 2013

    Mandy....that is FABULOUS news! I am so happy for you & of course, it gives me hope!!

    I too had no response (progression in fact) after first 3 rounds but after the 5th round there was shrinkage in one of the liver lesions. I'm on 4 tabs am & 3 pm & I'm pleased to say I've had very few side effects. Very little hand/foot, just a bit of redness in my hands & of course the stomach issues!! I do get quite tired & need a good 9 or 10 hours sleep at night :) Lately, I've been getting very itchy....particularly on my hands.....

    I've read of a few woman who have been on Xeloda for 2 to 5 years......obviously like all treatments it doesn't work for everyone but does give us hope!! I also have the monthly Xgeva... My tumour markers have only started to move since it spread to the liver....while it was just bones they didn't move..... Doing the happy dance for you :):):)



    Marnie....it would lovely if us Perth girls could have a get together & perhaps regular coffee mornings....it's always nice to have new friends! Where abouts in Perth will you be located?



    I was a bit naughty yesterday & did a bit of lifting I shouldn't have & am now paying the price! I had to double up on painkillers last night & feel quite sore this morning! That'll teach me for thinking I'm Superwoman.....lol



    Beautiful day again here in sunny Perth, so off to walk the dog & do some grocery shopping.



    Have a great day ladies.



    Karen xox

  • Kate60
    Kate60 Member Posts: 523
    edited June 2013

    Yay, another sandgroper. Well Perth girls, when I come up I'll partake in a coffee too.

    Mandy, that is truly great news. Actually that deserves caps. GREAT news indeed. I'm very happy for you.

    Lovely day here in Buno too Kaz. I also took dogs for a walk. There is no better day for it.

    I have my 3mth appointment with Onc tomorrow. I have been reading up about Radiation Fibrosa. Apparently only affects about 3% of people and guess I'm one of those. My breast is in most parts, rock hard, hot and hurts a lot. It's bearable but uncomfortable and unfortunately seems to be getting more pronounced over time Undecided. I don't think there's any treatment for it except to put up with it.

    Will know more after I've seen Doc tomorrow. 

    Nighty night all. xxx

  • Tammy_M43
    Tammy_M43 Member Posts: 565
    edited June 2013

    Kate, I hope the Doc has a solution for you...



    Mandy, wonderful news :-)



    Marnie, welcome back to Aus!



  • midnight1327
    midnight1327 Member Posts: 1,331
    edited June 2013

    Hi girls,  am off to wellington today, in the truck. But thought i would write this before i head off in a little while. I had my yearly mamo taken  other day, so hope for a positive result and went to my diabetic wellness class. it was the assesment, took all my 02 levels, heart, BP and sugar levels, with the finger prick thing and  everythng was good except that, it was 9.3. and i am on metformin to lower blood sugar and it still higher than it should. anyway i went for thyroid test and thought i would go and see Docs as they all in same building, but docs all shut up for lunch, so decided to call them when i got home. i needed some info for the diabetic clinic and i told nurse that they did my sugar levels and it was 9.3 and she says, well we don't go by that, we do the brac1, which is the fasting blood test for Diabetes.  i said, well they don't and they thought it was important that i  tell you as i was going to be asking for more info re previous lab tests and you may need to be testing me again for the blood sugar with the fasting one as i am on the  sugar lowering pill that aint doing much or it would be lower than 9.3. People at home dont give them selves fasting  blood test, they use the prick on the finger every day and that tells them how  high there BSL is, dumb nurse, they need to think outside the square. I may just need to go and see Doctor and get the info i need, working with those nurses like trying to get blood out of a stone.

    Chrissy, i was telling you girls about the entertaining the neighbours and the next night i was watching tv and i hear the neighbour yell out to me, HEY Neighbour, so i went to the window, he says, do we get a concert tonight? lol.  i said no, not tonight, and he says, Bummer, we were looking forward to that all day, lol, i said, i will have to start charging for  my concerts, he says, oh neighbour, just pretend you are practicing for  NZ got talent, lol that is free. typical.

    Hope everybody ok, mandy very happy for yr news. hope it continues to be positive.

    Marnie, welcome back to Down under, you be much closer to us now.

    well i better get ready for journey to wellington. so catch up later. hugs everybody XXXXX

  • Kate60
    Kate60 Member Posts: 523
    edited June 2013

    Hi everyone. Had my checkup and apparently yes, I have some sort of radiation inflammation thing happening. Onc said it is similar to mastitis, and he's had patients who have developed it years after radiation. Nothing can be done for it. It's not too bad, just uncomfortable. Visually, I have one up and one down boob now. The inflammed one is nice and perky and up (due to the swelling and hardness) the other one is, alas, heading south - in keeping with everything else Undecided LOL.