Bonfire of the Goddesses
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veggy - WooHoo! 3 down and one to go. That is great news. How much longer do you think for the last pesky one?
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I have to call the plastic surgeon office on Monday and let them know how juicy I am. I am hoping for Wednesday... a week from now. I just took a nap on my non-drain side and it felt wonderful! I woke up with my chest feeling tight from the fill. The tightness only lasts about 24 hours.
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double theyoo-hoo- veggy---sassy
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veggy - I hope so too.
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veggy - good you are down to one drain, I didn't have any for surgery or node removal, but I did have a huge seroma that looked like baseball under armpit but felt like a football. It drained 90% but not after weeks of draining into bandages, yuck, would run down my side after a shower. Doing it again, think I might choose drain, we shall see, but don't know why bs did not do drain to begin with.
ducky, wish i was there for your bad day like you were for mine. sorry I am just now checking in, the second tornado-like windstorm that came through here yesterday morn took my power until today. hugs for you. I have to say these days are worse than i remember ever in my life, w and w//o tornado like storms.
Onto the fire - tornadoes. Question, if a windstorm takes out in its path 200 trees JUST IN OUR AREA OF ONE MILE SQUARE, yup, not to mention all the otehr areas here......... and two weeks later takes out another 200 trees, and oen is one the way again.... and we do not live on the coast where there are hurricanes, but we do live in Midwest where there are tornadoes, then why cannot we call it a tornado even if no one could see the funnel?
So onto the fire with tornadoes. May I not wake up with "one" in my face through an open window like I did yesterday morning.
Onto the fire, power outages during 100 degree heat waves. Thank goodness for the gas generator for fans and fridge, don't know how people are surviving this anywhere, not just here.
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Veggy, have you been throwing the drains on the fire as you go along, or are you going for a big flare up when the last one is out? Glad to hear your progress.
I just caught up with 2 weeks....I don'tknow where I've been, but the summer is flying by.
My one year mammo tomorrow. I hope the girls are behavin'.
Saw my MO today - never liked her...but today made a decision to not dislike her because there are bigger problems in the world and sick people.I was feeling pretty down after the appointment...I guess it just made me think about BC all day. And tomorrow.....
Hugs to all,
Joan
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I've been throwing the drains in the fire as they come out. I plan to dance around the fire when the last one is out. At least the last drain isn't aggravating as much as the last one was.
Tomorrow I see the breast surgeon and oncologist. Oncologists always get me into a dark place. This one is a new one. Hopefully she will hae a different approach to what kind of chemo to try. I really don't want the "Red Devil" again.
My day is just beginning and nothing is done. That's a normal morning for me.
Gentle hugs!
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Joan, I think we may often not like various health care providers because they just happened to be the person that we saw when we were most ill or vulnerable, and we associate all the negative feelings with that person. I became very angry with my team because they just happened to be the ones that recommended the "standard of care" for me, and I just happened to be one of those who had major adverse reactions, and they really did not have any good way to predict whether I would respond well or poorly to the current therapies. I still do not like my BS, but she does a very good thorough exam every time I see her, unlike my PCP (whom I ADORE) who just listens to heart, lungs, checks my belly, and that's the end of it. And my MO also does a very thorough exam, and I have come to terms with her, appreciate how deeply she really does care about her patients overall, and me in particular. (I see her today for PET scan results, so am also a little down and axious right about now). And you are so very right: there are bigger problems all around us.
I am reading a book "Between Heaven and Mirth" by Father James Martin, SJ that addresses humor, laughter, and joy as primary elements of spirituality. He has a lot of fun with jokes about himself, talks about them across a variety of religions (not just Christian, but also Buddhist, Muslim, Judaism...) and as I read I realize what a curmudgeon I have become and need to lighten up a bit. Laugh more. Love more. Play more. Scowl less.
That does NOT mean I don't have a whole bunch of stuff to toss on this fire yet, though.... I am beginning to think about decluttering house as well as heart and mind.
DianeE- there are "straight line winds" that can cause as much if not more damage than tornadoes. The only difference between the 2 is that tornadoes rotate and straight line winds do not. Both can be in excess of 100 mph, lift trees, etc. I drove through an area in southern Illinois a few years ago where straight line winds took out several miles long and several miles wide worth of trees - snapped them like they were toothpicks - but they all were lying in the same direction. If it had been a tornado, they would have been lying in all different orientations. Still didn't matter - homes, lives, and property were lost - damage was devastating. Glad you survived your storms, and hoping things quiet down a bit for you.
Veggy, I will count the days with you and celebrate next week.
Hoping today will see some moderation for all of you - wouldn't want this bonfire to become a wildfire with all the drought conditions here!
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Veggie--im waiting to party in person with you...BUT I will party here too when the last drain comes out....
today im throwng once again all the stupid drs.who dont know shit about LE.....
And the fitters who fit me all wrong......and all those stupid bras i bought for nothing that my insurance doesnt cover.
so i guess this fire gotta burn....slow and steady.
huggggs everyone K
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I can usually handle the chain e-mails about finding a cure for cancer even if it does feel kind of self serving to forward them so I usually just delete. But today I got one that really sent me into a tailspin, probably because I had a specially hard time dealing with the SE's of Tamoxifen today and I had just been looking at an e-mail from my brother with a picture of just taken yesterday. Today is 3 weeks since his diagnoses of a very large, very aggressive malignent mass in his throat and upper chest. He has lost 30 pounds since diagnosis and looks like a very ill 90 year old--he is only 66. It hurts to look at him.
So onto the fire with the thoughtlessness that allows people to pass these chain e-mails on to those who could so easily be upset by them.
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Chabba, let me help you toss those thoughtless spam mail...right alongside the thoughtless tv ads that have reared their ugly heads as we get into the fall campaigns for BC. I do not even know wat most of these organizations stand for or do..except collect money from anyne. Wen people hear "cancer" they feel they have to give. Into the fire wit the non-genuine emails and fundraisers spread far and wide.
I am so sorry to hear what your brother and your famly are going through. It must be so diffcult for you. Hugs & prayers foryo.Veggy, so sorry that you are facing chemo again...it just sux...the only good thing is that the sooner you start, the sooner you finish. I hope they have found something a little easier for you totolerate.
Lynda, such good advice about focusing on laughter and joy. It can be a choice some days. I am beginning to feel the same about decluttering. I cannot handle the physical and mental chaos any more.
Had my one year mammo and got a report card that aid "normal, come back next year" It made my day a good one.
Hugs to all,Joan
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Thank you Joan.
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I went to a different oncologist today to see what she would recommend. I am too lazy right now to get up and check to see what it was. I told her that my doctor wanted me to get the Red Devil again and that I really don't want to go through that one again. She agreed and recommended something else. Then she went out of the room and asked another oncologist what he thought. He agreed. I would only need 6 treatments and no port. If my oncologist doesn't agree then she is fired! I told the new oncologist that I want to take her home with me. She was so nice and pleasant.
I need some rest. It was a long drive asnd we had to do it twice this week.
Hugs!
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veggy - Time for rest now. Think about your options over the weekend.
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For all that are having troubles
May the spirit within not weaken
May fear be taken from you
May your faith not be shaken
May love surround you
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SAS What a beautiful thought to go to sleep with. Thanks for bringing it to all of us.
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hello all, been away for a few weeks, but back to this thread. Many months back I had thrown my 1st surgeon onto the fire for misdiagnosing me 2 years ago, told me benign when it actually was cancer all along. Went the route and tried to file lawsuit only to find that the lawyers would not take my case because I survived, my prognosis was too good (WTF). Well anyway, I had to go for a monthly RO visit and who do you think was sitting in the chemo waiting room......any guesses? Yup, she looked right at me. I had to restrain myself because I did not want to disturb the other patients. Now, I would not wish this on anyone, but I did have that moment of karma. Am I bad for thinking/wishing that?
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Sas - What a beautiful mornig thought.
King - Glad you're back. I could only dream that it would happen to my surgeon who said the pain I had was "common".
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SAS - What a beautiful thought to start the day on.
King - Glad you are back. You have more restraint than I do. I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut.
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King, It would have been so hard not to mummer Karma!
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Nice goin Karma...the wheel keeps turning.
King.there is such a thing called instant karma....you did it sista.You are not wrong to think like that.
hugggs k
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King, if we are truly honest, I suspect each of us has at least one or two people in the health care field that we would not be terribly sympathetic toward if they get BC..... I try very hard to have love in my heart for all people, and I would not wish BC on anyone, but some of those who just don't even TRY to understand what we are going through, even though they may have dedicated their professional lives to "stamping out disease" - well, I would rather they "helped people through their illness" rather than "curing the disease" with all the treatments, SEs, angst, fear, etc. that entails. You are honest. Also, glad to see you back!
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P.S. If I ever encountered a specific member of my health care team in this situation, I am not sure what I would say, but boy, would it be tempting!!!!
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I too would never wish bc on anyone but must admit it is nice to have an ONC who is one of our sisterhood.
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I had an Onc that had some form of cancer, he was an analpore. I switched oncs
Thank you for your wordsregarding my words, it was meant as a prayer, but not knowing if someone is offended by prayer, is hard. BUT we all have a spirit . That spirit keeps us going day to day, Fear keeps us from doing and moving forward. Faith --we all believe in something, it also, causes us to keep moving forward each day, no matter what tries to block our way. Love, oh my love, the greatest of all, to feel that we are loved and that we love others, deprived of that we shall wither and die.
I got to be 62 today
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Happy Birthday!!! Sheila!!!!
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Sheila, Happy Birthday!!!! Hope you do something fun! BTW, I LOVE your technical terminology regarding your onc! You gave me my first great belly laugh of the day!
I didn't celebrate my last 2 birthdays - was too gloomy gus about things I guess. I am slowly moving through this phase, getting a better overall attitude about life, beginning to try to appreciate all those golden moments, humorous moments, loving moments. I don't remember if I mentioned on here that I am reading a book about the place of humor, laughter and joy in religion, and the author (a Jesuit priest, James Martin, SJ) makes a case for lots of belly laughs as being a gift from God and a way to honor God. When we laugh at ourselves, we acknowledge our human nature and the absurdity of some of our situations. Laughter is a way of sharing the human experience. And so I spent $100 yesterday ordering the remaining Big Bang Theory series that I don't already have - gonna watch them from the beginning and get some big laughs. Also started watching a Brit-Com series that I used to love, but is not shown locally - Waiting for God - I always seemed to have identified with the lead character Diana Trent (a cynical curmudgeon, but with a very soft underbelly of a good heart), years before I had health issues.
My cancer journey that has taken me away from my professional life can be described as: "Loving to learn, learning to love." I still get excited and passionate about reading scientific material that is just a level or two above my understanding to challenge me, and now I am reading a lot of philosophy, comparative religions, prayers & meditations, and thinkng about joining a Disciple Bible study (a United Methodist curriculum) to continue exploring the mind-body-spirit connections. If God is about Love, then life is not a sentence to be served (as has often been my darker thoughts), but an opportunity to live in love, share love, be loved.
Well, it seems the new energy pill (DH calls it my "Pep Boys Pill) has kicked in already this morning and I am borderline manic, so will read the rest of my favorites, then get busy on the daily schedule (chores, reading, exercise.... etc.). So into the fire with bad attitude today, along with Gloomy Gus (I'm sure Gloomy Gus is fire-resistant and will likely rear his ugly head again, but maybe we'll get some pretty colored flames from whatever phosphorous, potassium, and sodium that might be in him!)
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Gloomy Gus Flame Test:
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Gloomy Gus tossed onto the fire!
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Happy Birthday Sheila - Go out and do something fun.
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